43 year old needs dating advice

NMMWCR

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Originally posted by frankcd
http://www.virtualkiss.com/datingdoctor/youngwomenoldmen.asp

So, this article is more realistic. I found this after I posted the other link.

BTW, what does "AFC" mean?

Stop reading articles on other sites.

Most of the stuff out there is written for women and does not apply to you. Believing that horse sh1t is how you got to where you are now in the first place.

Read the articles here http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/index.php instead.

And then read them AGAIN in a month. And AGAIN in another month. DJ's are built in layers like an oinon. You have to wrap a little bit of game around yourself at a time to build a base for understand the context of the most useful stuff.

We have high hopes for you frankcd.
 

frankcd

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Yes, I agree that the majority of these articles on who should date who are written for women or by women. You are right I will be able to date women upwards of 15 years younger than me.

Well that sure would make me a happy camper.

The weather is supposed to be magnificent through friday for my locale. Hopefully I can take advantage of it to socialize with the ladies.

Have to get back to the grindstone.

later,
Frankcd
 

Bud Wiser

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Originally posted by frankcd
The weather is supposed to be magnificent through friday for my locale. Hopefully I can take advantage of it to socialize with the ladies.
That's the attitude, Frank. Except strike "hopefully" from that second sentence and think about how it changes its entire meaning -- and your outlook.

Get out there and have fun with it.
 
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http://sac.napkinnights.com/pics/view_image.php?id=1225&ind=4

This is a link to a site that goes out to clubs in my town and takes pictures and put them on their website. I am of course the brotha in the picture. I am 44 years old. I'm not like Helter Skelter who sits at home moping all weekend about having no life...as you can see I live life and not let it live me...

Oh helter I told you my buddy was a tv/movie producer there he is, 36 years old grey hairs and all and still out there having fun...

get er' done....larry the cable guy

and halter top skizzo...why don't you go and post your picture on

www.hotornot.com

and see what the world thinks of you.

I'm only average looking....lol, 8.5 according to their pole.

let me jump ahead to your argument...of course I don't need a pole to rate my own ego or looks. I feel good about myself and that's all that counts in my world.
 
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NMMWCR

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Saw this in another thread:

Originally by ZeeOwl:

I'd like to apologize in advance for this long post, but I think all of it is relevant.

I "met" this girl on a personals site about 6 weeks ago. For the record, we have a fair age difference (She's 23, I'm 40). Ya, I know, hit me with the stereotypical mid-life crisis bat! lol Anyway's, she's a university student working on a master's, so I figure she's intelligent and at least reasonably mature. We eMailed about twice, then chatted a bit on MSN. I practiced my new C&F skills on her at that time, including some sexual innuendo around the theme of doing dishes. She loved it (she told me I was funny). A few days later, she eMails me her phone number (I never asked for it), asking me to call her. I waited 3 days, then called. We talked about 15 minutes, and I set up a coffee date for Sunday night. She was going to Quebec City with friends on Saturday, and was due back Sunday afternoon. So I told her to call me when she got home. I never got the call. At 7PM (our date was for 8PM), I called her, got her answering machine, so I left her a message asking her to call back and tell me what's up. She called back Monday evening to tell me that her friends had only gotten back at 11PM. So I tell her that I understand, and that the only other time I had available that week was tonight. She already had something, so we set it up for Tuesday of the following week, my next free slot (which was the truth, isn't life just peachy sometimes).

So we meet at the coffee shop. Conversation was mostly smooth and interesting. Then we went strolling around town aimlessly, talking, with me teasing her lightly (I'm just starting to get comfortable with doing C&F live). She was actually helping me out with the teasing, poking fun at herself.

So there you go, frankcd. ZeeOwl is about your age. The girl was 17 years younger, intelligent, and ambitious. And she had a high enough interest to provide a phone number without being asked. There are plenty like this if that is what you are looking for.

Keep us posted on your progress.
 

DJGD

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I've just spent the last hour reading this entire threat (I'm on serapax at the moment, so don't bag me :)

You know... It actually brings tears to my eyes (And I'm not lieing!). When I read the topic and Frank's original post, all I could forsee was "Oh my, you sad ass" type flames. Infact, the closest thing I've seen to immature flaming was one of Diesel's semi-offensive posts (I think it was the third). This was no doubt nullified by the offerings of sound advice he dispense.

The amount of brotherly support that I see on these boards is absolutely overwhelming. I may not post often (This'd be my 3rd if I'm not mistaken), but I'm a regular reader.

I'd like to thank everyone on this board. I'd expect a board dedicated to picking up women to be a haven for trolls, adolescent f*ckwits and consistent "My **** is bigger and my hoes are hotter" boasts. But all I can see is advice given lovingly from one brother to another. I am so glad to see REAL *GENTLEMEN* helping eachother in what is, for most people, one the most unbroachable topics. This board is a jewel among a river of **** (ie, the internet).

But, aside from my bull**** drug inspired emotionally charged rant...

The only advice I am worthy of offering is to keep your chin up, Frank. With the help of these wonderful gentlement, and an amount of dedication on your part, you'll end up ten times the man you were before.

Good luck Frank, I hope it all turns out for the best.


-----------------------------------------------------
Wise Chinese man once said, "Man who fish in other man's well often catch crab."
 

frankcd

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I went to Atlantic City to seek work yesterday. I sat on a bench to get some sun and had a conversation with the young woman next to me. She was fun to talk with but was not over 25. Yet it was practice for about 20 minutes.

I found this affirmation(very powerful tool for transformation and self-empowerment.) It is: "I am a positive, optimistic and out-going person." You have to repeat this several times a day and eventually you believe it.

see ya,
Frankcd
 

NMMWCR

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Originally posted by frankcd
I went to Atlantic City to seek work yesterday. I sat on a bench to get some sun and had a conversation with the young woman next to me. She was fun to talk with but was not over 25. Yet it was practice for about 20 minutes.

I found this affirmation(very powerful tool for transformation and self-empowerment.) It is: "I am a positive, optimistic and out-going person." You have to repeat this several times a day and eventually you believe it.

see ya,
Frankcd
Way to go, frankcd. It only gets easier.

You can put that affirmation into high gear by adding an anchoring technique. Take a few moments to recall a time when you felt positive, optimistic, and outgoing. Think about that time as you repeat the affirmation and then touch yourself someplace unobtrusively like right thumb to left wrist, for example. The feelings of being positive, optimistic and outgoing become "anchored" to that touch. Whenever you find yourself needing a shot of confidence, all you have to do is touch your right thumb to left wrist. Nobody notices you do it. But you get a pavlov's dog kind of conditioned response of being positive, optimistic, and outgoing. I'd kick it up another notch by making that be "I am a CONFIDENT, positive, optimistic, and outgoing person." Say it with as much meaning and feeling as you can muster. NLP is a powerful tool if you use it right and don't abuse it as a crutch.
 

Bud Wiser

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Originally posted by frankcd
I went to Atlantic City to seek work yesterday. I sat on a bench to get some sun and had a conversation with the young woman next to me. She was fun to talk with but was not over 25. Yet it was practice for about 20 minutes.
Way to go, Frank. Keep it up and keep practicing. Part of all this is improving yourself and part is practice, practice, practice. This is, after all, a skill that has to be learned and applied.

Above all, have fun with it!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by frankcd

I found this affirmation(very powerful tool for transformation and self-empowerment.) It is: "I am a positive, optimistic and out-going person." You have to repeat this several times a day and eventually you believe it.
Very good attitude, consider adding "I enjoy meeting new people and they enjoy talking with me and we both feel better afterwards."
 

frankcd

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Well I have not dated as of yet. But, I did see a nice bush shot on the Atlantic City boardwalk yesterday. A woman was sitting on a bench with her legs open. I looked as I walked by an saw a nice hairy patch. BTW, I should say she was at least a "9."

Oh, and I am getting 5 emails a day from my email partner in Western Pennsylvania. We have so much in common it is hard for for me to believe. The only draw back is she is 28 and lives 300 miles away. Though she did say at my age I could date a woman in her 20's and up. And I must say I look forward to her emails. Yes, I am getting practice in communicating with a woman through her emails.

I have come across some nice women, now all I have to do is approach them. But I will prevail.

P.S. My buddy told me that when he met the woman he is currently dating she would not give her phone number to him. He offered his phone and email. So, I guess that is common practice today with the ladies. The reason she would not was that she did not know him well enough.

see ya,
Frankcd
 

Bud Wiser

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Stick with it, Frank, you're making progress.

One thing to practice in your e-mails is the ****y+funny approach. For background on this, go to www.doubleyourdating.com and get a copy of DeAngelo's e-book on the subject. That'll give you solid groundwork for building up your ****y+funny attitude.

E-mail is a good place to start develolping a ****y+funny persona that suits you, as it's more low pressure and you'll have some time to think about what you want to say. Over time, you'll get a better feel for it and can start practicing it in person.

And, yes, some women are reticent about giving out their numbers online. As I said, I always offer my number first and mention that if she's uncomfortable about calling first to give me hers. About half the time I get her number after handling it that way.

Take it one step at a time and keeping moving forward. You're well on your way...
 

Oscar Wilde

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Hey Frank,

Y'all tried out the bootcamp stuff yet? Nick just published the bootcamp bible - have a read of that, and young Waldens efforts too.

This site is golden, don't worry about a thing - in 3 months time you're gonna look back in wonderment at how fresh you were when you arrived here, and how much you've grown and learned.

There's a lot of guys here in their mid-20s too who regret not having this info when they were 17, me included :)

btw my current girlfriend is 9 years older than I, so sh1t happens.

Oscar.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by frankcd
...Oh, and I am getting 5 emails a day from my email partner in Western Pennsylvania. We have so much in common it is hard for for me to believe. The only draw back is she is 28 and lives 300 miles away. Though she did say at my age I could date a woman in her 20's and up. And I must say I look forward to her emails. Yes, I am getting practice in communicating with a woman through her emails....

P.S. My buddy told me that when he met the woman he is currently dating she would not give her phone number to him. He offered his phone and email. So, I guess that is common practice today with the ladies. The reason she would not was that she did not know him well enough.

see ya,
Frankcd
Just a little advice Frank, successful long distance relationships are a rarity. The ones that have the most promise are those where the people got to know one another in the same proximity and THEN one of them moved away.

Meeting someone who is initially in another region tends to just tweak up the feelings of romance. I'm not saying that it won't work, just that it is a long shot. But none the less, at least you can practice some of your skills on her and then take them out in the real world.

One last thing about your buddy, most AFCs give that advice. The easiest way to learn a womans interest level is whether or not she gives you her home phone number. If she doesn't, she either has something to hide (husband, boyfriend, children) or she isn't comfortable with you.

If the phone number isn't reciprocated, you are basically telling her that she can call you on HER time. This is something that makes most AFCs VERY frustrated, waiting on her to call. And giving her your email address is moving further away from direct conversation with her than bringing her in. It's as if you are saying "I understand that I'm not really your type but I will be satisfied if you just write to me with no strings attached. I'll be your friend." It's just another AFC move.

It may seem like a lot to learn but once you understand the concepts, its really easy. You may want to invest in Doc Love's System. It covers a lot about what makes a woman tick. It's pretty accurate since Doc didn't just make this stuff up from only observations, he actually asked a lot of women what works and what doesn't.

Keep on keeping on...
 

Bud Wiser

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
If the phone number isn't reciprocated, you are basically telling her that she can call you on HER time. This is something that makes most AFCs VERY frustrated, waiting on her to call. And giving her your email address is moving further away from direct conversation with her than bringing her in. It's as if you are saying "I understand that I'm not really your type but I will be satisfied if you just write to me with no strings attached. I'll be your friend." It's just another AFC move.
I agree. If a woman doesn't give me her number and calls me first, I know that I've got some work to do with her interest level. A woman I'm calling tonight for the first time did give me number after I used the approach I described earlier in this thread, so at least I have some idea of her interest at this point.
 

topwrench

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frank, you still hanging in there??

your posts contain alot of e-mail convo..
this should be your secondary communication..

you need to stop emailing
and start face to face "Interpersonal Interaction"
talking directly to the girl , your heart races., palms sweat,
you get flustered, is the KIND of practice you need.

There is no substitute for direct contact. Falling into the email trap
will only, hold you back from excelling at closing the deal.

your old behaviour needs to change....

practice=confidence
always talk to them at a even level, dont be intimadated....
reverse the role , you BECOME the Intimidater.....

good luck,,,,,age is NOT a factor, get over it>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

keep posting alot of guys are pulling for you..

topwrench
 

frankcd

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Funny you mentioned the "Doc Love System", I had seen it advertised on Askmen.com. Also, I emailed the doc and he told me that I can date any woman 27 through 50.. Well needless to say I liked his response.

Of course, I know that email relationships are hardly ever successful. This woman knows I have very very little dating experience since I posted a question on another website regarding Sara. My email friend knows I have never had a serious relationship and she has not had one herself. Plus she also told me that Sara was toying with me, since no woman asks a question about past romances before dating for at least a couple of months, if ever. But again she is fun to correspond with...

Plus, I realize I have to do my practice face to face. I must admit the ladies are out there for the picking...

later,
Frankcd
 

frankcd

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Hello all, I have been going about chatting and mingling with the ladies. I met a woman of all places in church. I believe she likes me but I will know shortly since I am going to ask her if we can get together. Most likely I will do this next week when I see her.
She did tell me her company and department where she works but I feel it would be too pushy to call her at work...

Tried the internet dating and not had too much success. Most of the ladies are too far from me. Still posting to all the new matches that are available.

Other than that not much new. Oh yeah, I was offered a job for decent money but the manager has put me on the back burner regarding my start date. I seriously believe it is a case of age discrimination.

Any other ideas let me know....

Frank
 

TesuqueRed

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Originally posted by frankcd
...Plus she also told me that Sara was toying with me, since no woman asks a question about past romances before dating for at least a couple of months, if ever...
Interesting, that.

Come to think of it, all my ex's never really asked what came before them. Anyone with insight on that?

frankcd--any chance of getting her to explain that?
 

( . )( . )

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Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Interesting, that.

Come to think of it, all my ex's never really asked what came before them. Anyone with insight on that?

frankcd--any chance of getting her to explain that?
ive noticed this too, maybe they only ask if they suspect your a loser or something? or just dont care because theyre just happy being in the moment? or realise a chicks a chicks a chick, and theyre pretty much all the same when it comes to the nuts and bolts, or maybe because most chicks keep there options WIDE open until oneitis sets in so they dont give a phuck?or maybe men are more curious to know all the ins and outs about how we are phucking up, from a logical scientific point of view and want to know how we each differ from her past shags earlier on?

anyway, yeah frank ask this chick whats going on.
 
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