43 year old needs dating advice

[1utfan1]

Originally posted by frankcd

Feedback appreciated.

Frank

Another good read is the book of shuma gora (thanks to Page).
Here's the link.

http://www.pwizard.com/files/shumagora_html.zip

 

[ShortTimer]

Yes, I had an interest in her but I never thought she could be so cruel to another person.

Many people in real life wonder why I can be so jaded, and this comment you just made is EXACTLY why. It's amazing to me just how much people who seem to be nice will turn out to be monsters on the inside.

Her curelty is just a reflection of how immature she is, at the same time it's something I've seen in every age group.

Rediculous.

 

[frankcd]

Now I am not a wimp or mamma's boy but I have to admit I was hurt by the last event with that woman. I really thought I was on a role and comming out of my shell. She really did make me wake up and see reality.

I have to get over the fact that not all women are like her, maybe the majority but not 100%. I know as I stated before this will take time maybe months.

Just when I look at my age and what I have missed I have no one else to blame but me. The memories and happy times would be nice to look back on.

I was at the Atlantic City boardwalk today and the beauties I saw were just mouthwatering. Most were in their 20's and I know that it is out of my grasp... Maybe by a fluke I may have a fling with a young woman but what more could it amout to.

But I have to keep me chin up and my confidence level high.

See ya team,
Frank

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by frankcd
Just when I look at my age and what I have missed I have no one else to blame but me. The memories and happy times would be nice to look back on.

Stop kicking yourself and use the experience to your advantage. You've been there and done that and probably could write a book about it. Also memories are good but the possibilities in the future are even better!

Originally posted by frankcd
I was at the Atlantic City boardwalk today and the beauties I saw were just mouthwatering. Most were in their 20's and I know that it is out of my grasp... Maybe by a fluke I may have a fling with a young woman but what more could it amout to.

Younger women are definitely mouth watering but face it, you are in another stage and they probably not be worth more than a ONS to you. It will take a little searching but trust me, there are older hotties out there that can give the young ones a run for their money.

I suggest testing your skills online with one of the online dating services. They are gold after you are able to interpret the BS personals and are able to write one for yourself that sets you apart from the AFC. Online personals are time effective and a perfect playground to try out new material.

 

[topwrench]

stop worrying about this girl.shes looking to use/cling onto someone. If she was genunily interested in you, you would be hooking up already.NO calls = no interest

You need SEAT TIME. lower your aim, socialize with the single mom, fair looking women, just to fine tune your interaction.skills..

Hold off the 9's/10's till your relaxed and more comfortable.

re: past relationships its o.k. to fudge the truth a little
think of it as a Job interview

you. I want to work here.
boss. have you ever sold xyz products before?
you. (think ing no experience) saying "I have sold many items before, and XYZ products will be a new adventure..

always staying POSITVE, never undersell yourself
have the attitude/persona that your gonna kick ass & take name

your age and lack of exper. just means your a Late Starter

HTH .........later topwrench...

 

[Bud Wiser]

Originally posted by topwrench
You need SEAT TIME. lower your aim, socialize with the single mom, fair looking women, just to fine tune your interaction.skills..

Just in case anyone needs a translation of the phrase, "seat time," used by Mr. Topwrench in his post, it's a term used by race drivers that refers to on-track, in-the-****pit practice.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Cheers for the trans, was needed

 

[Bud Wiser]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
Cheers for the trans, was needed

No problem. As an amateur racedriver, I could always use more seat time -- both in the car and with the ladies!

 

[frankcd]

I have gotten other feedback that women who are interested do not ask probing questions before the first date. Sometimes the probing is to insult the person so they back off. And I did just that.

I batted zero last nite but I estimate it will take as long as 3 to 6 months for me before I meet up with someone. Hopefully it will be before the winter begins.

I do have a question for the board; "What part of the female anatomy stimulates you?" Mine is the hiney... If it is nice and sweet I am interested in her from the get go!!!!!! But a discouraging fact is that most if not all ladies possessing that physical attribute(breath-taking buns) have a significant other.

see ya,
Frank

 

[Bud Wiser]

Originally posted by frankcd
I do have a question for the board; "What part of the female anatomy stimulates you?" Mine is the hiney... If it is nice and sweet I am interested in her from the get go!!!!!! But a discouraging fact is that most if not all ladies possessing that physical attribute(breath-taking buns) have a significant other.

Hey, Frank, it looks like you take the notion of needing "seat time" literally. What -- you think there isn't enough hiney-licious booty left for the Frankster? Be patient, there are plenty of hard bottomed babes available in inventory.

Hold on -- we'll check in the back...

 

[Aztec]

I haven't been coming to the forum for I don't see issues that are relevant to my situation. Frank, thank you for being open despite of the fact that most DJs in here in are in their teens.


So far that advice posted are rational. Some of them may sound harsh, but that's tough brotherly love.



Frank, you've heard it once...you have to move on. Delving into what happened or what Sara said is just like removing a scab from a healing wound.


Accept that "the game" is going to be tough due to your age. But YOU ARE A MAN!


Do I blame you for being too honest when you said that you've never been in a serious relationship? No. You said something that you thought it was right at that time. You learn from your mistakes.


So you haven't been in the game for long time and even then you weren't really the Michael Jordan of your game. Start with the basics. You said that you're working on the DJ Bible. Great! Next, like Diesel said, start working out. Workout not just to look better but to feel better about yourself. And don't downplay the importance of a decent wardrobe. It's probably tough for you financially at this time because of being a temp and all but that's something you may really want to consider.

 

[Aztec]

Sorry I didn't read the most recent posts. I was just ready to jump to my advice to you.


Anyway, THAT BIATCH! Haha! That's what they do best anyway (f'ing with our minds). We just have to roll with it.


Glad to see you're standing up, dusting yourself off and ready to fight.

 

[NMMWCR]

Originally posted by frankcd
I do have a question for the board; "What part of the female anatomy stimulates you?" Mine is the hiney... If it is nice and sweet I am interested in her from the get go!!!!!! But a discouraging fact is that most if not all ladies possessing that physical attribute(breath-taking buns) have a significant other.

see ya,
Frank

I'm an azz man too. Breasts are highly overrated. 99% of the women out there think their breasts are too small and their butt too big...98% have it backwards...

But it isn't just the azz. It's like how guys spend all their time in the gym trying to build a "high drop" physique. Women look best when there is a high drop going the other direction. An average sized azz turns into d1ck magnet if it rests below a high and slender waist.

 

[frankcd]

BTW, I have been having an email relationship for the past 3 weeks with a 27 year old woman about 100 miles from my home. She knows my age and about my lack of dating experience. I even told her about Sara and she said Sara was jerking me around.

Plus, she has dated about as much as I have. Her description:
brunette, green eyes, and very nice looking. I told her mine...

Just wondering about her butt..... hehehehehehehehe

And she has no boyfriend and asks me a lot of questions.

Do not know, most likely a wet dream....

see ya,
Frank

 

[DIESEL]

Originally posted by frankcd
BTW, I have been having an email relationship for the past 3 weeks with a 27 year old woman about 100 miles from my home. She knows my age and about my lack of dating experience. I even told her about Sara and she said Sara was jerking me around.

Plus, she has dated about as much as I have. Her description:
brunette, green eyes, and very nice looking. I told her mine...

Just wondering about her butt..... hehehehehehehehe

And she has no boyfriend and asks me a lot of questions.

Do not know, most likely a wet dream....

see ya,
Frank

100 miles: geographically undesirable. go out and meet some real women who live near you.

As to your e-mail buddy: ask for a pic. see her reaction. and then see what she sends. If she is in the same boat as you and is female, and has not sent you a pic yet, I will assume she's probably not that attractive. She's trying to get you attached to the personality before she drops the "ugly bomb" on your ass. Besides when two people meet in the artificial world of the internet, I assume it doesn't translate well in the real world. There always is a letdown. Which is why internet dating is lame. like I said, go out and meet some real, live honeys.

 

[NMMWCR]

Originally posted by frankcd
BTW, I have been having an email relationship for the past 3 weeks with a 27 year old woman about 100 miles from my home.

Three weeks is too long.

The straight skinny is you have about a 5 percent chance of EVER seeing this girl face to face. I've played the internet dating game with some success. It's a good place to get your feet wet, just don't let it turn into a permanent crutch. But the rules are like this:

If you don't close for a face to face meeting by the fourth email/chat, you have made a pen pal. You'll send each other email forever or until she meets another guy.

Once you get that face to face meeting, emails have to be reduced to one or two liners. Email/chat is comfortable and absolutely kills all challenge, mystery, and sexual tension. You interact eyeball to eyeball or you stop interacting at all because she gets BORED when you can't turn it up another notch.

First meeting is something very simple. The internet thing puts a lot of pressure on that first meeting. You can diffuse that with making it 'just coffee' which is easy to setup because starbucks is everywhere, although I had best results with asking to get together for 'ice cream or corndogs.' Chicks seem to think corndogs are cute for some reason. Maybe because it is an absurd thing for 30 somethings (or older!) to do. ...one of those things you pick up accidentally through trial and error....

You already have rapport by the first meeting. You have to go for a kiss on that first meeting or you end up with a buddy without benefits. Waiting till you walk out to the car hurts your chances. It is cliche and expected so pressure builds. Lay it on her halfway through coffee or corndogs or whatever you do. Make sure the kiss is too short. If it lasts too long you are absolute toast. If she didn't get enough, she has to chase you to get another one.

There absolutely has to be some casual touching going on or it isn't a date. Use kino, or make a friend. When she touches back, take her hands and put them in her lap then go back to what you were doing. Repeat if necessary. That keeps you in control which drives them absolutely mad.

The three date rule is a four date rule because the first meeting is a transition. If you don't get some action on the 4th date, there is a 90% chance she is using you until she finds a guy that she does want to screw.

Start looking for another one immediately while you work on this one. One-itis is double deadly online. Even when you develop some skill at getting a meeting you'll never actually get eyeball to eyeball with more than about 3 out of 4. I promise you she has other online guys that she is working on. You are in a race here. Don't let yourself get caught without a backup in case of the very likely scenario that she hooks up with another guy before you even get to step up to the plate and take a swing. Having multiple options does wonders for your confidence anyway.

Email pix are overrated. She is going to send her most flattering pic from 5 years ago. She probably still looks pretty good at 27 if she is watching her weight, but she ain't a luscious 22 any longer. If you can't get her on a webcam, if ain't worth bothering with the pic. Just close for a meeting before the window of opportunity closes.

Nine out of ten women are going to be 'not as advertised' when you do meet them. Don't get discouraged. Use the opportunity to practice on one you feel no pressure with. You'll be polished that way when the real deal comes along. A couple of those ten percenters have turned into glorious life experiences and trusted friends. Keep plugging.

Any time it doesn't work out with the online girls, you have a golden opportunity for first hand feedback. You aren't going to see them again so you can break social conventions. Send them an email and tell them you want their help. If they'll just give you a brutally honest evaluation of what you did wrong, you will leave them alone. Half will ignore you, of the rest, half who respond will respond with something nice to spare your feelings, one out of four will tell you something deeply hurtful that will elevate your game like nothing else ever will. It's powerful medicine...

Knock 'em dead. I am pulling for you, champ.

 

[frankcd]

http://www.aish.com/dating/advice/Dating_Advice_72_-_Breaking_the_Barrier.asp

Read this about age gap dating. Even though I am not jewish it appears as though I will have a difficult time meeting a woman let alone a spouse.

I was hoping for maybe age 30 and up but it looks as though it is not in the cards.

Well the other option is to be alone the rest of my life. That is not something I will accept.

The posts are great and I like reading the encouraging words/advice.

Keep them coming.

see ya,
Frank

 

[NMMWCR]

Originally posted by frankcd
http://www.aish.com/dating/advice/Dating_Advice_72_-_Breaking_the_Barrier.asp

Read this about age gap dating. Even though I am not jewish it appears as though I will have a difficult time meeting a woman let alone a spouse.

I was hoping for maybe age 30 and up but it looks as though it is not in the cards.

Flush that article, it's bullsh1t. Plenty of women hook it up with guys 15 or more years older.

Understand these two principles:

1) Once a woman hits 25 or so, her perceived social value starts declining. Every single day she loses another step to gravity. Every day their biological clocks tick off another second. And 99% of them are scared all to sh1t by this knowledge. Underneath that facade of confidence, they are secretly frightened little girls who are easy to lead around by anyone who will take the initiative.

2) Every single day a man's social status improves. Tomorrow, you will be wealthier, stronger, more experienced, smarter, more confident, more distinguished, more everything. All the things women want, you have more of each and every day.

You will find plenty of women in their late 20's and early 30's who are absolutely desperate for a chance at forever with a guy like you. You just need to stop scaring them away with the AFC act. The real you is just one inch over the AFC line. Women love that guy.

When you smile at a new woman and touch her shoulder, look her straight in the eye and smile in such a way that lets her know you understand those two fundamental truths. When they see that you "get it" you will start "getting it."

Having power over women is as simple as understanding you have the power.

Relax frankcd, this is going to be fun and easy for you.

 

[frankcd]

http://www.virtualkiss.com/datingdoctor/youngwomenoldmen.asp

So, this article is more realistic. I found this after I posted the other link.

BTW, what does "AFC" mean?

I have to gain confidence and not give up.. I have to be optomistic and not look back.

This advice is great and I agree with the previous post.

later,
Frank

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by frankcd

BTW, what does "AFC" mean?

I have to gain confidence and not give up.. I have to be optomistic and not look back.

This advice is great and I agree with the previous post.

AFC = Average Frustrated Chump (it's in the DJ Bible)
A lot guys are rooting for you here, Frank. Keep us posted.