13 Reasons To Avoid Single Mothers

[Desdinova]

based on the women you described it really sounds like you were going after someone to "save" or "rescue".

WTF?? I don't know where you got that from. I've dated a total of two SMs. I've met and turned down many, many others.

I'm guessing that during that period of time you probably finding the same problems with the women without kids as well.

I found the exact opposite with women who had no kids. With the exception of being good housekeepers, they all had higher self-esteems, better self-control, and were able to pay their bills instead of spending the money on booze or drugs.

 

[xblitz44x]

I personally would never get involved with a single mother. I'll leave it at that.

Now you two can resume bickering...

 

[Desdinova]

BTW, nice to see you posting again xblitz!

 

[xblitz44x]

Thank you, sir! It's been quite awhile.

 

[Wyldfire]

WTF?? I don't know where you got that from. I've dated a total of two SMs. I've met and turned down many, many others.


I found the exact opposite with women who had no kids. With the exception of being good housekeepers, they all had higher self-esteems, better self-control, and were able to pay their bills instead of spending the money on booze or drugs.

Des...my fiance that was killed was a wonderful man...he was damn near perfect in my eyes. Know what initially attracted him to me? The fact that I had just left my ex husband who was abusive to me. He was a great man who I loved very, very much...and he was a "saver"/"rescuer". It wasn't an insult when I pointed out that the women you described fit the criteria of they types that men like to try to "rescue" or "save". I really wish you wouldn't take my comments the wrong way...because they were not meant to be negative in any way. I think so many men fall into that "rescuer" mode because they want to be someone's "hero". I had already unpacked my baggage and didin't need rescuing...but it did take him awhile to break out of that "rescuer" mode...he eventually got there, though.

I'm really not sure how to get my point across without offending you in some way...so I'm just not going to try. I'm just going to say that for whatever reason, the Single Mom's you ended up attracted to had some problems that really had nothing to do with the fact that they had kids. Alcohol abuse is not something exclusively reserved for single mothers...and I believe statistics show that the percentage of male alcoholics is considerably higher than that of female alcoholics. And the whole love triangle thing happens to everyone, too. Those weren't single mother issues...they were women with problems totally unrelated to whether or not they have kids issues. Whether or not it was a pattern you were running or not is irrelevent. Whether or not they had kids is irrelevent. Anyone...male, female, single, married, divorced, separated, black, white, gay, straight, a parent or childless...they all could have the issues you described.

 

[blueangel83]

This post sounds like it's written out of frustration. It's also giving me the impression that you've had way too much experience.

I can't truly relate as I'm no single mother. Although I find this qoute funny.

11)Unneccessary Expeditures Eventually you'll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Another Example of The Female Pyschosis

"Just because there's an exception, doesn't mean there isn't a rule." Gene Simmons.

"Those who don't learn from the past are condemed to repeat it." George Santanya

Insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Albert Einstein

Women live in an alternate reality. Due to hard wiring, lack of mental and intelluctual capacitity and plain pertinaciousness. Even when faced with facts and emperical proof, woman refuse to engage logic.

Miss Wyldefire your experinences of you and your circle of friends isn't indicative to what's going on out there in the street. I've seen enough television, heard enough radio shows, been through enough personal experiences to know that EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSH*T!!!!

As a single mother I feel it is my duty to respond to this nonsense. I will use myself and my own situation and circumstances to counter these sophomoric stereotypes.How is it nonsense when guys are experiencing it?



I'm actually in better shape now then I was when I gave birth the first time. I have 4 children and actually weigh less now then I did when I got pregnant the first time. Yes, a woman's body does change a bit after giving birth, but so does a woman's body who has not given birth. Stretch marks exist on women who have not had children as well...and men get them too...gaining and losing weight causes them and it has nothing to do with pregnancy. All women's breasts lose their "perkiness" over time...again...nothing to do with childbirth...it's time and gravity. It can be avoided by working out and keeping your pecs toned. Guys that get man boobs after stopping working out can fix the problem by working out again. Women can improve their breasts in the same way.

Great your in shape, most chicks who have kids aren't. Actually they said "F@ck it and let themselves go because they feel comfortable." If chicks did get back into shape after the kid, you wouldn't hear guys complaining about her getting fat after the chick.http://www.sosuave.net/forum/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=892371


I've been a single mother since 1994. I've NEVER had to cancel my plans for lack of childcare. I have had to postpone plans due to being called in to work, though. Women without children have to postpone and cancel plans just as much due to work. So do men for that matter.

Again, this is reflecting reality and isn't pretinent to the arguement.

Never had this happen either. I have been interrupted by phone calls and knocks on the door, though. Women AND men without children also deal with those kinds of interruptions.

Again, this is reflecting reality and isn't pretinent to the arguement.

I've never allowed my ex husband or my 5 year old's father to interfere in my relationships. Again...this has never been an issue. I've dated men with psycho ex girlfriend's though. One of them actually was afraid to let his ex know he was involved with someone else because she would harass him even more. I've found that ex girlfriends are actually far worse than ex husbands or ex boyfriends when it comes to attempting to interfere in relationships their exes get involved with. So yet again...this is not an issue reserved exclusively for single mothers. Everyone can have this issue pop up.

I guess all those stories of "baby mama or baby daddy drama," are of based.


Now this one is just plain retarded and insulting. Sure...all single mothers troll the streeets looking for some strange, random guy to be a daddy to her kids. With all the perverts, pedophiles and psychos in this world, single mothers are more concerned with protecting their children from possible predators than finding someone to play daddy. Get a damn clue!

They do. They need help financially and emotionally with the kids. Women when they date guys are looking for potential husbands, babydaddy's or boyfriends. Guys are looking to smash.

This is in direct conflict with your last claim. If a single mother doesn't want to bring strange men around her kids then how on earth can she also be trying to make this same guy the new daddy?

It's not. She's trying to qualify "daddy canidates." After she gets comfortable with the dude, she'll start trying to ease the kids into the situation.

This is the only issue I won't argue with. It IS difficult on both men and women who get attached to the child of someone they have a relationship with. However, if the single parent is a good person they have the best interest of their child/children at heart. A good parent would not cut you out of the life of the children. I would never do that to any guy who got attached to my kids and who my kids got attached to.



Never had this happen either. I make it clear to my kids that they are to respect adults...and if I'm involved with a man they are to view him in the same regard as they would their aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers or any other adult. I also explain to the man that there will be no arguing in front of the kids or allowing them to try to pit one against the other but that I will have final authority as they are my responsibility. That being said...I have never and will never allow my children to disrespect or mistreat any man I get involved with. Neither will I allow any man to disrespect or mistreat my children. That is how it should be and it works quite well.

Thank you for vaildating this point.

Erm...why are you not taking full responsibility for your own protection against unwanted pregnancy? It's quite simple to prevent, afterall. If you refuse to have sex without using a condom then the chance of an unwanted pregnancy is extremely low. Bottom line...if you don't want a child it is up to YOU to take the proper steps to ensure it doesn't happen. That means don't have sex at all. If having sex is not something you are willing to avoid then you assume certain risks. One of those risks is an unwanted pregnancy. There are things you can do to protect yourself against that risk and intelligent men use condoms. In the even that protection fails...you knew it could happen and are equally to blame and must be a man and take responsibility for the outcome. A lot of women view abortion as murder, like I do...and will not murder their own flesh and blood. That is a risk you take and you know that everytime you have sex...whether protected or not. Deal with it.

Again I thank you for validating my point. You've just told every guy in this room if you get knocked up your having the kid. I do take precautions and have the "if case of pregnancy what will you do?" talk. Even then due the capricous nature of chicks, if she changes her mind your f*cked and your you'll be extorted money for the next 18 yrs. Actions speak louder than words, the best indicator of what her course of action will be is "Lil Jimmy." By the way, way is that people who view abortion as murder and have problem with it are the same people that are having anal bukkai tapes? It abortion is that big of problem to you, it would seem that you wouldn't have pre-martial sex.



Sometimes that can be the case, but sometimes it's not. In my case, I was very young, was a virgin, didn't have any experience to speak of and married a man who was very good at hiding his true colors. The second I married him he began to change...and was very abusive. I take responsibility for the mistakes I made and have not ever repeated them. Some women get cheated on or left. In some cases a woman ends up a single mother because their partner died. Let us not forget that men also have the habit of getting involved with bad women just as frequently as women get involved with bad men. If that were not true there would be no need for sites such as this. You don't have to be a single mother or even a woman to be a bad judge of character. Each and every one of you on this site have been a bad judge of character at one time or another. Should all women steer clear of you because you have made mistakes or been fooled before?

MOST SINGLE MOTHERS ARE SINGLE MOTHERS BECAUSE 1) THEY CHOOSE TO BE!!! NOBODY IN AMERICA FOR THE PAST 34 YRS HAS HAD A BABY AGAINST HER WILL. 2) Unlike an idioit chick, sooner or later a man will realize that situation is hopeless and bounce. Unfortunately the onus is on the female, because she's let with the kid.

Again...this has never happened for me, either. If I take my children on a family outing I pay the cost, period. That is my responsibility as their parent. Not only do I not want some guy to pay for my children...I wouldn't allow them to do so even if they wanted to unless I was married to the guy. Since I have no interest in ever getting married again, this will never be an issue.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Another Exapmle of The Female Psychosis Pt II

Too many of the guys on here are just simply afraid that if a woman had a kid with someone else that she will take the father back and dump you. Fear of being left for another man is mostly what it all comes down to, and it's dumb. If the single mother wanted to be with the father of her kid/kids then she would be. If you wanted to be with your ex and she wanted to be with you...then you'd be together. Single mothers are no different than you are in most ways. They just have more responsibility and have to think about someone other than themselves when making their decisions and choices in life.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for validating another one of my reasons for no getting involved with a single mother.

Single mothers by be the good women, have sublime culinary skills, and eff like a porno star, but they also have more baggage than the cargo hold of a 747. Single mothers like Miss Wildyefire ARE RARE AND OUTSIDE OF THE NORM!!! She's the type of chick that would tell you, "if you search through that clover leaf patch long enough, you'll find a four leafed clover."

I started this post with those three quotes because I've tried to deal with single mothers and ALWAYS GOTTEN THE SAME F*CKING RESULTS!!! I don't have time to deal with somebody and their family issues. There's enough hot, chesty, nice a$$ havin chicks without kids, and I'd rather spend my time on them. I suggest you do the same.

 

[Desdinova]

It wasn't an insult when I pointed out that the women you described fit the criteria of they types that men like to try to "rescue" or "save". I really wish you wouldn't take my comments the wrong way...because they were not meant to be negative in any way.

I didn't take it as an insult. I took it as you trying to find an underlying reason for me being attracted to fvcked up women.

I realize that men really DO have the natural instinct to save and protect women. Unfortunately, the reality is that if a person doesn't want to be saved, there's no point in saving them. I honestly wanted to take that drunken AW who fell down the concrete stairs home and take care of her. I really did and I felt sad for her. The problem with her is she denied her alcohol problem. I've tried pointing people with "problems" into the right direction for help. They're stubborn as 5hit and will despise you for pointing out how "fvcked up" they are. Try telling an AFC that spoiling his gf will fvck up their relationship. He won't listen until she dumps his ass and he hits a low point in his life.

I think so many men fall into that "rescuer" mode because they want to be someone's "hero".

No, it's a natural instinct. Also, I didn't feel the need or desire to rescue any of the SMs that I met. Once they mentioned their kid(s), I was immediately turned off and abandoned ship. They still shoved their phone numbers in my hand, only to have me throw it out later.

 

[RedPill]

I acknowledge Wyld that my no-SM policy is discriminatory and unfair to the few and far-between (you must admit you are the exception not the rule) quality, inconvenience and drama-free SMs out there. However, I'm going to continue to pre-reject these women, and some great potential sex/relationships between myself and a decent SM will fail to materialize. The most unfair aspect of my policy is that she will never get a chance with me.

While one might argue I would be missing a chance with her, that loss is negated by this infallible truth:

There's enough hot, chesty, nice a$$ havin chicks without kids, and I'd rather spend my time on them.

 

[Wyldfire]

Maximus...please don't take this personally...

Your quoting is a bit of a mess. If you want to seriously debate points you should really take better care to express your thoughts in a more organized fashion. You need to put the [ QUOTE ] before the other person's comments and then the [ /QUOTE ] tag at the end of their comments. Then you write your comments without the quote tags. That helps others read your posts and allow them to follow which comments were made by the other person and what your arguments against those statements are.

Again...I'm pointing this out to help you, not slam you. I hope you'll take it as such.

Now, regarding not just your experiences with single mothers but for all the guys on here who haven't had good luck with them...

All of the reasons you have listed that make you hesitant to even get to know single mothers are quite arguably not even issues that have anything to do with a woman having children. Bratty kids would be the only thing exclusive to single mothers. All the other stuff can and does occur with women without children as well.

Bottom line is this...smart men should be able to look beyond a woman's appearance and see personality and behavior traits that should discourage him from pursuing that woman further. I've been a member here a long time and one thing has always been universally true...the guys on here have the bad habit of going after some of the worst women out there...regardless of what group they may belong to. It's just like how so many women go after the worst possible men out there. Men and women have got to stop trying to make everyone they meet and date fit into their vision of their ideal mate. They instead should be getting to know that person and see what their traits REALLY are and base whether or not you continue to date them entirely on their merits or lack thereof.

 

[Maximus Rex]

I know it's a mess and thanks for the explaniation. I posted a thread on how to quote more than one quote in a thread.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. That's why I don't deal with single mothers or recommed that anybody else get involved with them.

 

[Wyldfire]

I didn't take it as an insult. I took it as you trying to find an underlying reason for me being attracted to fvcked up women.

I realize that men really DO have the natural instinct to save and protect women. Unfortunately, the reality is that if a person doesn't want to be saved, there's no point in saving them. I honestly wanted to take that drunken AW who fell down the concrete stairs home and take care of her. I really did and I felt sad for her. The problem with her is she denied her alcohol problem. I've tried pointing people with "problems" into the right direction for help. They're stubborn as 5hit and will despise you for pointing out how "fvcked up" they are. Try telling an AFC that spoiling his gf will fvck up their relationship. He won't listen until she dumps his ass and he hits a low point in his life.



No, it's a natural instinct. Also, I didn't feel the need or desire to rescue any of the SMs that I met. Once they mentioned their kid(s), I was immediately turned off and abandoned ship. They still shoved their phone numbers in my hand, only to have me throw it out later.

Oh, I know it's a natural instinct...which happens to be wanting to be the knight in shining armor/hero. A man's ability to protect, provide and procreate is how he defines himself as a man and compares his worth to those same abilities in other men. That's why one of the absolute worst things a woman can ever do to a man is compare him unfavorably to another man...it will crush a guy.

I still have to insist that these stereotypes of single moms are dead wrong. Most of my friends for the last almost 15 years have been single mothers and most of them have been very much like myself. The one downside about single mothers that I have noticed that hasn't even been mentioned here is that a lot of them aren't very comfortable being alone/single and are too trusting and too easily played or fooled. I love being single and can't be played or fooled anymore. It only took being burned once and I won't be having any of that again.

I strongly suspect that you guys have been meeting single moms in bars. If a single mother is spending a lot of time in bars there is a very good chance that she has issues. If you meet one in the park, grocery store or taking a class...there is a MUCH better chance that she's got her act together.

 

[Wyldfire]

I know it's a mess and thanks for the explaniation. I posted a thread on how to quote more than one quote in a thread.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. That's why I don't deal with single mothers or recommed that anybody else get involved with them.

I recommend that people not judge people until they know their situation and what kind of person they are. I also don't recommend that anyone get involved with someone they meet at bars, clubs or drunken bashes. If that's where you guys have met these horror story single mothers then it's really no wonder you have a bad view of them. Anyone hanging out at bars getting drunk all the time is going to have some baggage and problems...regardless of whether or not they have kids. I've never known a boozing bar hopping single mother who I would suggest any guy date. You won't find single moms worth your while in bars...and I strongly suspect that might be the issue.

 

[SamePendo]

I recommend that people not judge people until they know their situation and what kind of person they are. I also don't recommend that anyone get involved with someone they meet at bars, clubs or drunken bashes.

Contradiction :rock:

 

[Wyldfire]

Contradiction :rock:

No, it's not. Someone who hangs out at bars and are drunk all the time are exhibiting unfavorable behavior traits that make for excessive and intolerable baggage.

Not dating barflies and drunks because of their behavior and drinking habits is a far cry different than refusing to ever date single mothers just because they are single mothers. That's like comparing apples to oranges...

 

[RedPill]

I strongly suspect that you guys have been meeting single moms in bars. If a single mother is spending a lot of time in bars there is a very good chance that she has issues. If you meet one in the park, grocery store or taking a class...there is a MUCH better chance that she's got her act together.

It's not about who she is as a person, it's about the fact that she has kids. Act together or not, it's about the fact that SMs often bring one or more of the following conditions with them to the table:

1) a lack of flexibility with their time - she can't just crash at your place on a whim, go away for a weekend, etc
2) always "on call" - her phone blows up with a problem related to the kids
3) the mere fact that the father of the kids is in contact with her is a huge turn-off
4) she's gotta save her money to spend it on the kids vs. herself and having fun
5) her life revolves around the kids. nothing wrong with this, it actually makes her a good parent. but most of us guys honestly are not interested in another dude's kids
6) if we know we don't want to be with her for the long term right up front because she's already had kids by some other guy, what's the point of getting started with her? She's going to get attached way too easily, among other complications.

These are all hard facts that have nothing to do with whether or not the woman herself has issues. These are some of the core things that makes SMs less desirable for single guys without kids. The increased probability that she HAS issues is just icing on the cake.

 

[Desdinova]

I still have to insist that these stereotypes of single moms are dead wrong.

But when you keep winding up with the same common denominator, it gets VERY discouraging.

I strongly suspect that you guys have been meeting single moms in bars.

I've met them on both sides of the bottle.

If a single mother is spending a lot of time in bars there is a very good chance that she has issues. If you meet one in the park, grocery store or taking a class...there is a MUCH better chance that she's got her act together.

HOWEVER, many single mothers are too busy raising children to be out meeting men. I'm just gonna start knocking on doors to meet the good ones instead of sarging the women with no kids. :crazy:

Yeah I know, I'm an *******. But I kinda like it that way

 

[SamePendo]

Not dating barflies and drunks because of their behavior and drinking habits is a far cry different than refusing to ever date single mothers just because they are single mothers. That's like comparing apples to oranges...

Now you see how we see single moms. :cheer:

 

[Silverback82]

why date a single mother when there are plenty of women without kids?