13 Reasons To Avoid Single Mothers

[Wyldfire]

Not a bad post. I wonder if you look as good as you write?

Because you provided such an intelligent and thought-provoking response, here's some eye candy for you.

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/preview?tab=photos&edit=1

You're welcome.

I'm a very pretty woman...and at 40 years old I still turn the heads of guys half my age, so I must look pretty damn good. Oh...and for the guys who assume that single moms are all easy and slutty...think again. I can count my partners on one hand. I don't do the casual sex thing and have never cheated or used a man in my life. Only two of the men I've been involved with in the last 12 years even got to meet my kids. One I was engage to for 5 years and he was killed. The other had a young son of his own and we did things together with our children a lot. Oh...and I always paid for him and his kid, too.

Now back to those slamming single moms...

Stereotypes are usually an unrealistic compilation of the worst traits people have ever seen from someone who fits into a particular group...and it's actually not that common to find someone with all of those stereotypical traits. If that were true every black guy on here would have chicken and chitlins in one hand while juggling a basketball and watermelon in the other while breakdancing, shooting rival gang members, peddling drugs, raping white girls and shoplifting and pick pocketing. Let's be realistic...most people really don't have the time, inclination or energy to juggle so damn many bad habits. Stereotypes are for idiots...

 

[Wyldfire]

Wyldfire, check this guy out....

http://www.myspace.com/drbeard

Don't fall head over heels now....

Sorry, but I'm very shallow about looks. I don't find that guy attractive. The thug wannabe lingo and lack of class only makes him less attractive. I know I'm being blunt and blatantly honest...but that's just how I am. I don't tell people what they want to hear to avoid hurting their feelings. Better to bruise their ego a bit with honesty than mislead with lies.

 

[Wyldfire]

thanks wyldfire for clearing this up.

everyguy here prtty much has had a heart break.

I guess they made bad choices too..

so they must all be big losers..and dont deserve to date a good girl because they are trash since they cant always pick them good. right?


a lot of these guys are HUGE hipocrites.

I don't think anyone should be overlooked because they have made mistakes. A person's worth can't adequately be judged by the mistakes they make. It's better to judge them based on whether or not they recognize their mistakes and at least attempt to learn from them. A lot of men on here are undateable and have baggage simply because they refuse to recognize that they have screwed up and refuse to take any responsibility for the choices and mistakes they have made in life.

Bad experiences and mistakes are gifts and opportunities in disguise. Those who learn how to utilize them as such are wise and usually well worth your time and energy....providing they don't utilize them in a negative and damaging way, that is.

 

[Wyldfire]

Not a bad post. I wonder if you look as good as you write?

Because you provided such an intelligent and thought-provoking response, here's some eye candy for you.

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/preview?tab=photos&edit=1

You're welcome.

Very nice sign in screen you linked to, btw.

 

[Desdinova]

I don't find that guy attractive. The thug wannabe lingo and lack of class only makes him less attractive.

Uhhh, I think Dr.Beard scored! :cheer:

 

[Wyldfire]

Uhhh, I think Dr.Beard scored! :cheer:

If he was looking for rejection, perhaps.

 

[penkitten]

threads like this make me feel like too many people try to be too picky.

there were several guys that responded by saying how much of a man their step fathers were for never complaining about issues such as this. i enjoyed hearing from them .

for those of you sitting here saying you dont want someone with baggage: wake up, everyone has baggage and no one is perfect and no one can make perfect choices 100% of the time.

some of us didnt choose to be single moms however we were and we did it without thinking twice.

it doesnt matter how much responsiblity someone has, life is life and you cant control it all. you just have to do your best.

if you see one single mom that neglects her kids and is doing drugs and stuff, then shes a bad apple and you shouldnt date her.... however there are plenty of us who are good mothers and take care of our kids and dont go out looking for a replacement dad, we just want to be people too.

 

[RedPill]

There are SMs who are good parents and SMs who are bad parents.

There are SMs who are smokin' hot and SMs who are fuglies.

There are SMs who became SMs out of bad circumstance, and SMs who became SMs because they're w'hores.

Personally, I don't judge SMs without knowing anything about them. But... it's personal policy that I don't date them. I don't have kids, don't want them any time soon, and don't want to deal with the adverse dating/relationship conditions commonly imposed by a SM's lifestyle. By rejecting them by default, yeah I might be passing up that diamond in the rough on occasion, but I am ensuring 100% that I will not have to deal with any of the associated drama or inconvenience of dating a SM.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

haha ive got flings, one in particular who get pregnant and people said it was mine. the ignorance!

 

[Wyldfire]

There are SMs who are good parents and SMs who are bad parents.

There are SMs who are smokin' hot and SMs who are fuglies.

There are SMs who became SMs out of bad circumstance, and SMs who became SMs because they're w'hores.

Personally, I don't judge SMs without knowing anything about them. But... it's personal policy that I don't date them. I don't have kids, don't want them any time soon, and don't want to deal with the adverse dating/relationship conditions commonly imposed by a SM's lifestyle. By rejecting them by default, yeah I might be passing up that diamond in the rough on occasion, but I am ensuring 100% that I will not have to deal with any of the associated drama or inconvenience of dating a SM.

Honestly...dating a single mother has no more "adverse" dating conditions, "drama" or "inconvenience" than dating anyone else. If the child is a newborn and the SM is nursing or the child is sick or disabled then it probably would be hard for her to really date much, but other than that...it's not going to be any different. Single mothers who claim they can't get a sitter usually just aren't that interested. Every single mom has a long list of sitters and if they really want to go out, they can find a sitter. If the breakup with the father was recent, then there IS the chance of some drama if she wants to get back with him...but most of the time that's not the case and again...IF SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED IN YOU IT WON'T BE AN ISSUE. Single mothers will also flake (and use their kids or the father of the kids as an excuse) just like women without kids sometimes do.

If you don't want kids then don't have any. Children aren't a communicable disease, afterall. Just because a woman you might date has a child it doesn't make that child yours by default by dating her.

Case by case basis is the best route.

 

[( . )( . )]

I'm a very pretty woman...and at 40 years old I still turn the heads of guys half my age, so I must look pretty damn good.

She trying to rebuild her team of teenage drones again?

I cant believe this sh!t is actually being entertained here, what is wrong with yous? Single mothers...dont make me laugh.

Raising some other douches genes, what the hell kind of backward reality are they teaching boys these days to get such a backlash of defence here? disgusting.

And all the future surrogate daddies hanging off some old bar wenches unrealistic chatter.

Listen to the original poster guys, I'm smashing 2 mums now (sex only, they both know I'm anti ANYBODY elses children) and even thats a dicey situation.

The guy comes here to help his brothers out and gets an assortment of social zombies yapping "but 2 + 2 = 5" at him.... Shameful.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Raising some other douches genes, what the hell kind of backward reality are they teaching boys these days to get such a backlash of defence here? disgusting.

exactly. give the other prick's gene's a head start while neglecting your own.


whether it was bad circumstances or not, thats bad replication :nono:

 

[speedo_meme]

threads like this make me feel like too many people try to be too picky.

there were several guys that responded by saying how much of a man their step fathers were for never complaining about issues such as this. i enjoyed hearing from them .

for those of you sitting here saying you dont want someone with baggage: wake up, everyone has baggage and no one is perfect and no one can make perfect choices 100% of the time.

some of us didnt choose to be single moms however we were and we did it without thinking twice.

it doesnt matter how much responsiblity someone has, life is life and you cant control it all. you just have to do your best.

if you see one single mom that neglects her kids and is doing drugs and stuff, then shes a bad apple and you shouldnt date her.... however there are plenty of us who are good mothers and take care of our kids and dont go out looking for a replacement dad, we just want to be people too.

So I should feel bad about being picky? WTF???? You think I'm less of a man than some dude who stuck with a single mother?? I'd say I have a little more intelligence anyway.

I'm sure you're a good person and all, but what kind of basis do you have, saying I'm too picky because I don't want a single mom? I didn't make you spread your legs and get pregnant. H*ll, I take my own precautions to prevent that. And you want to say I'm less of a man for making smarter choices than you? I'd say we're the ones with our sh1t together...

 

[frivolousz21]

So I should feel bad about being picky? WTF???? You think I'm less of a man than some dude who stuck with a single mother?? I'd say I have a little more intelligence anyway.

I'm sure you're a good person and all, but what kind of basis do you have, saying I'm too picky because I don't want a single mom? I didn't make you spread your legs and get pregnant. H*ll, I take my own precautions to prevent that. And you want to say I'm less of a man for making smarter choices than you? I'd say we're the ones with our sh1t together...

where in there did she say yuo were less of a man...she didnt.


she didnt say you should feel bad about being picky either.

and you claim you have ur **** together.

you have sex right? im guessing you have enuf jewels to get laid.

if you got a girl prego..and she wouldnt abort>?

then what do you do?

you think your high and mighty...you do..you agreed with that post by julian. but yet you risk having a child as well...

if that child comes..you will realize how you aint shyt now...I will have a son in about 3 months....it really makes u a man to have a son...

it changes your perspective. I love the arrogence that goes on here..exp coming from guys with more emotional baggage then most women.

no one should be judge on 1 thing along, except rape and murder.

and you will wish u married a great single mom...if u pick the wrong drama ***** and ur life is in shambles down the road...so yea dont be so picky. Exp since you are 25....times gonna be running out on you finding a great women, with zero baggage that is

 

[Wyldfire]

What man boobs fails to mention is that he is one of those douche bags who got some girl pregnant. Can't say I blame his ex for dumping him, either...

 

[Wyldfire]

So I should feel bad about being picky? WTF???? You think I'm less of a man than some dude who stuck with a single mother?? I'd say I have a little more intelligence anyway.

I'm sure you're a good person and all, but what kind of basis do you have, saying I'm too picky because I don't want a single mom? I didn't make you spread your legs and get pregnant. H*ll, I take my own precautions to prevent that. And you want to say I'm less of a man for making smarter choices than you? I'd say we're the ones with our sh1t together...

I think she's saying that you are being judgemental, believing in stereotypes and holding unfair views of an entire group of people based on a lot of false perceptions.

Case by case basis...that is always the best route. Whether or not a woman you have met has kids SHOULD be something you consider carefully when deciding whether or not to get seriously involved or make a commitment. It should be a NON-issue for casual "getting to know each other" dating. For all you know, she might have had her kid when she was 13 or 14 years old. If she is say, 28 years old her kid would almost be an adult. In 3 or 4 years they would be gone anyhow. She could have every good quality you would want in a woman and have a 15 year old at home, never need a sitter and her ex might be dead or long gone somewhere...but you would never even know because the second you found out she is a single Mom you walked away. You can date single mothers you are attracted to and like long enough to find out if their situation is one you could easily live with or not. If you find out you can't or don't want to deal with their set of circumstances then you bow out. If you can deal with their set of circumstances and find that they are worth your while then you didn't miss out on something worthwhile because of stereotypes that often don't even fit anyhow.

Case by case basis...

 

[speedo_meme]

I didn't make you spread your legs and get pregnant. H*ll, I take my own precautions to prevent that. And you want to say I'm less of a man for making smarter choices than you? I'd say we're the ones with our sh1t together...

Can you read friv? That second sentence. If I do get a chick "prego" then I deal with it. But I CHOOSE not to deal with other people's kids at this point in my life. Maybe when I'm 45, but not now. Friv, just because you fukked up and got a chick pregnant, does NOT make you a man. Taking responsibility for your actions does. Me dating a SM and taking responsibility for other people's actions does NOT make me a man. And believe me son, I know the consequences of my actions and I deal with it accordingly. I surely don't cry about it and freak out like you did a couple of months ago.

Wyldfire, of course it should be a case by case basis. I personally have not met a SM so great that it overshadows dealing with her kids.

 

[Desdinova]

For all you know, she might have had her kid when she was 13 or 14 years old

That's pretty rare. It's also pretty damn disgusting for a 13 year old to give birth (odds are they got pregnant when they were 12 years old). Tell me a girl like this wouldn't have emotional and psychological issues.

The youngest SMs I've ever known had their kids at age 15-16. I estimate kids staying home until they're 20 years old. That would put the woman at age 35-36 when the kid finally moves out. She might be an ideal woman if you're in it for "love", but not ideal if you want to actually start a family. I doubt she'll want to spend another 20 years of her life raising kids.

It should be a NON-issue for casual "getting to know each other" dating.

For me, it was a non-issue for just having fun and sex. However, the stakes were high for any SMs that I would date (I only dated one after I became a DJ). The SM had to at least be a smokin' HB9. She was dumb as a sock full of dryer lint, but she was pleasing to the eye and knew how to have fun.

I can't count how many SMs I've turned down, but there were lots. Here's two very memorable experiences:

SM #1: This was an AW that I pursued. She was damn hot, and I wanted a romp with her. After I finally number closed her, I gave her a call a day later to try and set up a date. It was a five minute call, and I threw her number out immediately after I was done. It was noon, and she was drunk. She told me her ex-bf's father had custody of her child. This ex-bf wasn't even the father!

SM #2: Tall chick who was dripping for me. She was always buying drinks for me, and telling me stories about how we'll be old people doing grocery shopping together (without mentioning the M word). She had at least two kids, and was having a difficult time separating from her husband. It was a royal mess that I didn't want to get involved in.

The smokin' HB I dated would get her ex-bf to babysit while we went out. One of her kids had a horrible disorder (possibly deafness) because he would crank the 5hit out of the TV. Her 8 year old would threaten her mother to get her own way by saying "I'll tell the teacher you're abusing me!" I also found out that her ex-bf babysitter was fvcking her at the same time I was.

After experiencing all this 5hit first hand, is it a wonder why I completely cut off SMs?

 

[Wyldfire]

Wyldfire, of course it should be a case by case basis. I personally have not met a SM so great that it overshadows dealing with her kids.

Perhaps...but based on the comments you've made on this thread I really can't help but think the reason you haven't met one is because the second you discover they are a SM you are assuming that they fit those stereotypes. I'm a 40 year old single mother and I have known a lot of single mothers in my time. I can only think of one or two SMs I've met who actually fit a few of those stereotypes. I know a few that fit one of the stereotypes and a few that don't fit any of them. I don't fit any of them. Bottom line...most men (like most women) tend to be attracted to the worst possible people for them. You've got a lot of women who want to find someone to "fix" or "change" and you've got a lot of men who want to find someone to "rescue" or "save". If you get beyond that tendency most people have when looking for a mate/partner it will be very easy for you to spot not just the good women who are SMs but all good women.

I may be controversial, brutally honest and quick to slap back at anyone who takes a pot shot at me...but I'm a VERY smart, wise person. I've lived through and survived the absolute worst relationship you can imagine and I've been blessed with having the absolute best you can imagine. I've learned a lot and seen a lot in my 40 years and thanks to my habit of really observing the world around me closely...I see things many people don't even notice.

I've found genuine love twice in my life...these men treated me good and I treated them good. That's a very wonderful place to be when you find it. Both of these men not only came into my life in the last way I would ever expect them to and both belonged to "groups" that I could never have imagined I could find such a wonderful man from in a million years. Because I am open to all people and choose to look at people as a whole and not what group they belong to or where/how I met them...I didn't miss out on knowing two very, very wonderful human beings and knowing such powerful love. Some people never get to experience that kind of thing even once in life.

I'm not saying you should rush out and find the first single mother you can to get involved with. I'm just saying it's much better to be open to ALL possibilities rather than close yourself off and potentially miss out on something pretty damn phenomenal in the process.

 

[Wyldfire]

That's pretty rare. It's also pretty damn disgusting for a 13 year old to give birth (odds are they got pregnant when they were 12 years old). Tell me a girl like this wouldn't have emotional and psychological issues.

The youngest SMs I've ever known had their kids at age 15-16. I estimate kids staying home until they're 20 years old. That would put the woman at age 35-36 when the kid finally moves out. She might be an ideal woman if you're in it for "love", but not ideal if you want to actually start a family. I doubt she'll want to spend another 20 years of her life raising kids.



For me, it was a non-issue for just having fun and sex. However, the stakes were high for any SMs that I would date (I only dated one after I became a DJ). The SM had to at least be a smokin' HB9. She was dumb as a sock full of dryer lint, but she was pleasing to the eye and knew how to have fun.

I can't count how many SMs I've turned down, but there were lots. Here's two very memorable experiences:

SM #1: This was an AW that I pursued. She was damn hot, and I wanted a romp with her. After I finally number closed her, I gave her a call a day later to try and set up a date. It was a five minute call, and I threw her number out immediately after I was done. It was noon, and she was drunk. She told me her ex-bf's father had custody of her child. This ex-bf wasn't even the father!

SM #2: Tall chick who was dripping for me. She was always buying drinks for me, and telling me stories about how we'll be old people doing grocery shopping together (without mentioning the M word). She had at least two kids, and was having a difficult time separating from her husband. It was a royal mess that I didn't want to get involved in.

The smokin' HB I dated would get her ex-bf to babysit while we went out. One of her kids had a horrible disorder (possibly deafness) because he would crank the 5hit out of the TV. Her 8 year old would threaten her mother to get her own way by saying "I'll tell the teacher you're abusing me!" I also found out that her ex-bf babysitter was fvcking her at the same time I was.

After experiencing all this 5hit first hand, is it a wonder why I completely cut off SMs?

Des...I don't think any normal person goes through life without being hurt or having something bad happen to them. What matters is how that person copes and deals with the bad things. I've been severely abused in the past, raped numerous times by my ex husband, and after I escaped that mess the man I was going to marry and was deeply in love with was murdered. That's quite a bit of really bad things I've lived through. I have my head on straight and came through all that pretty damn good.

I'd like you to read the last post that I made. Like all the women who tend to go for men who treat them bad because they think they can "fix" or "change" them....based on the women you described it really sounds like you were going after someone to "save" or "rescue". I'm guessing that during that period of time you probably finding the same problems with the women without kids as well.

In all honesty...the two women you described had issues unrelated to having children. The first sounds like an alcoholic. The second wasn't ready to let go of the guy she was with before you. One hint about Single Mothers and how to tell how well behaved their kids will be. Look at how disciplined she is with herself. If she is out of control and wild then there is a good chance that her kids will also be out of control and wild. If the SM holds herself to high standards and is in control of her life her kids will most likely be decent kids. If those two kids were mine I would get the boy a hearing aid and put the tv out of his reach on a high wall mount so he couldn't crank it up and tell the girl "Go right ahead and tell your teacher I'm abusing you. You won't get your way in foster care, either."