Hot Girl Demands Good Dinner For Date. Smash Or Pass?

[SW15]

women saying they want one things but in reality they want another.

That is a well known trait of women.

I don't think women on social media are hyping up going on dinner dates though, except for idiots like Koko Beaute.

Millennials are socially awkward

Yes, they are. Apparently, Gen Z is even worse.

Dinner dates have worked for me far better than others.

Why?

I think dinner dates in restaurants as first dates are acceptable in a certain situation.

If the first date is arranged through a social circle introduction, it is ok to do dinner. I still think there are better first date options even in this situation.

Most men on forums like SoSuave are not getting the majority of their first dates from their social circles. If a date is arranged from a real life stranger approach, a swipe app, or an Instagram DM, then it is best to avoid a dinner date in a restaurant prior to sex.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Why?

I think dinner dates in restaurants as first dates are acceptable in a certain situation.

If the first date is arranged through a social circle introduction, it is ok to do dinner. I still think there are better first date options even in this situation.

It is just way easier because they tend to have parking, not be too loud, and you are usually sat in a booth instead of some uncomfortable seating arrangement at a bar. In addition, I tend to be more comfortable at a restaurant and just order something light and the bill tends to be lighter than bars. Last, if the date goes well, you can just go to a bar or something vs a bar the date is pretty much over lol unless you want to go to more bars.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hi bros.

Back again with another confusing situation. Recently met a girl from OLD. Solid 9. Ukrainian.

Asked her out for drinks. She made some comments about how its disappointing our first date wasn't a dinner.

Despite that, we made out at the end of the date. She had to go back to sort stuff out with her family.

We talked about Netflix and Chilling on our next outing because at the end of the date, we had a fun chat about sex. Lots of flirting.

Immediately after that date, she asked to see me again this week literally an hour after I got home. I told her I was up for some drinks at a bar and Netflix with her after.

She told me she wanted to have dinner first. I said that's fine, so I was planning it and suggested a spot.

Instead, she rejected my spot and told me she is very particular about food and proposed we go to this more expensive restaurant.

I told her that we can go another time (truthfully, I didn't know her that well to want to even have dinner with her and her asking so specifically really put me off). But she retorted that if I cared enough I'd take her.

I am now a bit confused because I have never met a demanding girl in my experience of dating. Never had a girl who really wanted to hangout or ****, be so demanding or picky about dinner spots. In a way it makes me feel that she is playing me for good food.

Then again, maybe some girls do expect a good dinner before ****ing. I really don't know.

Some alarm bells in my head are going off telling me to next her but at the same time, she was open to chilling with me over Netflix after.

What do you guys think?

Pass. She's just looking to visit this restaurant for the experience. No pvssy is worth that expense. Careful with Ukrainian / Russian born females. They can be very decisive. When I was dating, it was drinks and tapas. After sex and activities; we can grab something to eat at a place of my choosing. Perhaps, depending on price, for something amazing, you can go out to a really nice place. But, again, that's completely your decision; not hers (unless she's paying for it).

 

[SW15]

they tend to have parking

This is a good point on parking. Parking is challenging in certain Dallas neighborhoods. I need to do a post on parking in Dallas in the Dallas thread.

not be too loud,

There are some quieter lounge type environments for drinks dates.

you are usually sat in a booth instead of some uncomfortable seating arrangement at a bar.

The side by side seating at bars does allow for some easier kino escalation. It's more diffiult to do pre-kiss kino escalation in a booth. It's possible at a table but still more difficult than the side-by-side at a bar.

It is more difficult for me to set up the first kiss well at a table or a booth.

I tend to be more comfortable at a restaurant and just order something light and the bill tends to be lighter than bars.

You're the only person who seems to get lighter bills at restaurants on meal dates than drinks only dates at bars. I thought the general consensus was that bar drinks dates were less expensive.

if the date goes well, you can just go to a bar or something vs a bar the date is pretty much over lol unless you want to go to more bars.

If the initial meeting spot is a bar, 2 drinks at the same bar could happen. A lot of PUAs suggest doing multi-venueing to multiple bars as a comfort building seduction tacti to increase the possibility of first date sex.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

The side by side seating at bars does allow for some easier kino escalation. It's more diffiult to do pre-kiss kino escalation in a booth. It's possible at a table but still more difficult than the side-by-side at a bar.

It is more difficult for me to set up the first kiss well at a table or a booth.

I agree that bar dates are better than dinner dates. Bars you can aim to sit side by side. You can easily kino and establish tension. Dinners you're usually sitting across. With bar dates the chances of kiss closing is much higher. With dinners it feels more for deep comfort building. Feels more an investment into the long term but its just me. Usually I see it as feasible after sex or where we have kissed and sex will be happening soon on the night itself but almost never as a first date.

But I've never experienced a girl dictating me about what dinner spot to go to until this chick.

 

[EyeBRollin]

But I've never experienced a girl dictating me about what dinner spot to go to until this chick.

You can test by acknowledging the spot as a good idea to check out in the future but counter offering your preferred restaurant. If she doesn’t want to meet at your pick, you have your answer.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Who knows, maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I missed a chance here with a hottie. But I feel good. She is easily a 9 (face) and a 10 (body). But I rejected her. After all I felt like I was being told what to do and have desire negotiated, I wasn't willing to accept that. Maybe I misread the situation with her but that is what it felt like to me.

Keep abundance mindset and don't compromise unnecessarily. If a woman's only quality is 'being hot', leave her to the trophy hunters.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The side by side seating at bars does allow for some easier kino escalation. It's more diffiult to do pre-kiss kino escalation in a booth. It's possible at a table but still more difficult than the side-by-side at a bar.

It is more difficult for me to set up the first kiss well at a table or a booth.

I am not worried about Kino out in public. I will do that in at my or her place. If a girl rejects me because I didn't touch her leg on the first date in public then she is not the person for me.

 

[SW15]

I am not worried about Kino out in public. I will do that in at my or her place.

I do kino escalation in public prior to getting someone to my place. I think it is more difficult to get someone to your place without kino escalation and kissing in public.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Due to Ukrainian culture, she may not get this, but I've said it to a few women that had the gall

Your response: I didn't realize that we were negotiating a fee for your company. Now that we've established what you are, I'll throw in a quart of malt liquor and some blue eye shadow.

I doubt she even knows what malt liquor is.

OP, normally I would've recommend ghosting in this type of situation but your case is a little different. You're dealing with major cultural differences here (especially if she's a FOB). Taking a woman out for dinner is pretty much a prerequisite before sex in that part of the world. Having said that, her demand that you take her to a fancier restaurant is still a red flag. This woman is clearly not LTR material but it may be worth it for some fun if she really is a 9. Question is whether she's just using you for food or there is genuine chemistry. Trust your gut on that one.

 

[Bokanovsky]

If you like going to nice restaurants and are something of a 'foodie', then taking a woman out to a nice place as a first date isn't a problem... because it is who you are.

Let's face it, not many straight men actually like going to restaurants. When was the last time you've been to a restaurant and saw men who were not there for a date, business meeting or some kind of celebration (i.e. birthday or office party)? Can you envision yourself calling one of your buds and saying "hey, a new restaurant by this famous chef has just opened, wanna go grab dinner"? Of course not. Only women and alphabet people do stuff like that.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You can test by acknowledging the spot as a good idea to check out in the future but counter offering your preferred restaurant. If she doesn’t want to meet at your pick, you have your answer.

Haha that is exactly what I did. I told her, let's check it out next time. Let's go to my spot this time. But she more or less freaked out and got persistent. Which really put me off.

Just made me think, she was more into the spot than me. Got me wondering whether it was an issue with IL or lack or genuine desire or a cultural thing that I don't understand about EE women.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If it’s more than a hot hooker, get the hooker

 

[EyeBRollin]

Haha that is exactly what I did. I told her, let's check it out next time. Let's go to my spot this time. But she more or less freaked out and got persistent. Which really put me off.

Next. She’s trash.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It is just way easier because they tend to have parking, not be too loud, and you are usually sat in a booth instead of some uncomfortable seating arrangement at a bar. In addition, I tend to be more comfortable at a restaurant and just order something light and the bill tends to be lighter than bars. Last, if the date goes well, you can just go to a bar or something vs a bar the date is pretty much over lol unless you want to go to more bars.

That's why you always do something else before going to the bar...mine was playing mini golf in this super cool golf dome they had nearby. Worked well...fun and drinks in one night.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I do kino escalation in public prior to getting someone to my place. I think it is more difficult to get someone to your place without kino escalation and kissing in public.

Not for me lol.

 

[CornbreadFed]

That's why you always do something else before going to the bar...mine was playing mini golf in this super cool golf dome they had nearby. Worked well...fun and drinks in one night.

I don't feel comfortable playing mini golf with a stranger I do not know

 

[mikedee]

That's why you always do something else before going to the bar...mine was playing mini golf in this super cool golf dome they had nearby. Worked well...fun and drinks in one night.

Minigolf is nice, I often invite them to play, when they refuse I know immediately thats we won't get along..

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't feel comfortable playing mini golf with a stranger I do not know

But you feel comfortable being interrogated or interrogating one over dinner?

 

[SW15]

playing mini golf

There are many good activity date possibilities. Mini golf is one of them. I mentioned ice skating dates in another thread earlier today.

These activity dates are often the ideal second date but are also available as a first date. If a man is to meet a woman at a bar during a weeknight Happy Hour and offer a first date, offering another drinks date might not the best. Offering an activity date after meeting at a bar and drinking makes more sense than offering a dinner. I do not enjoy dinner dates in restaurants in any way. In the early 2010s, when I first read why dinner dates are bad ideas, it all started to make sense to me. I had done way too many bad dinner dates in the 2000s-early 2010s.