Wow. I honestly did not expect that this thread will turn into a debate. But I really do thank everyone for their input.
I have the latest update of how things resolved in the end and I also feel compelled to explain the situation more clearly.
First the situation & why I started the thread:
Yes on our first meet with this Ukrainian, I took her to a lounge for some drinks.
As a general rule, I don't take girls to restaurants or dinners on a first date. The main reason is because I don't see the point of investing too much into a girl that I have not slept with or at least have some form of a plate-status/relationship with. It feels like over investing to me. Another reason why is that a dinner is generally longer than drinks. If **** turns out bad, you're there longer whilst a drink you can easily eject anytime with minimal losses in time and money. So I generally do dinners after sex, plate status or even dinners on the night that I **** them.
Well I thought our first date went really well. Although initially, she did bring up something weird about how she expected dinner as well not just drinks, despite me making it clear we are heading to a lounge for drinks. She told me she was a bit unhappy. But I thought that's not my fault when I was clear. I didn't think much of it at the time. Anyway we made out. Also at the end of the date, we were talking about sex and had quite a sexual conversation. Things were heavy. In fact, she told me she was horny from all the kissing and heavy topic. I did try to escalate to ****, touching her and her thighs. She was also very touchy. But logistics was not right. She had a bit of resistance too especially with heavy escalation. Maybe it was my mistake that I failed to **** her that night. So I thought its fine, we will pick this up again some other time.
To my surprise, she wanted to meet me again the very next day, texting me almost immediately after the date.
I thought great. I can close this finally. Also the last time we talked, we more or less talked about Netflix and chilling together (more or less let's **** next time under better context). I had planned to take her dinner in a nice hotel and I had intended to **** her there (Netflix in the hotel room) after dinner and some wine. Overall it would have been a good experience for her or really anyone.
The weird thing is she was so specific about the place. Asking me, where's this place I wanted to take her. She went to google the place and told me she thought the food there wasn't good enough. She looked at reviews. Apparently the hotel has bad food. And suggested a more expensive place which is totally somewhere else and not the place I picked. Logistically would have been a nightmare for me. I told her, we can do her restaurant another time (maybe after I ****ed her) but let's stick to my plan. But she got really persistent which started to put me off because I always like girls who feminine and follow the lead. She just felt demanding to me. It is also what I am used to when a girl is into me. Yet at the same time, we both knew we would Netflix and chill after dinner. She didn't say no to that at least in our chat (but who knows, maybe she would suddenly be on her period after dinner right?).
I started to get confused about the situation because maybe I have been too into the concepts of genuine burning desire, respecting myself, standing my ground but it's just strange how this girl who supposedly has high IL and into me is negotiating with me about where she wants dinner. Felt very transactional. Almost negotiating desire. I thought the whole point was about us hanging out. It's not like I suggested, let's hangout at McDonalds. I actually had something amazing planned.
Why I Started This Thread
I started this thread because I have never experienced this before. A girl who I thought has high IL demanding dinner. Did I totally misread her IL from the initial interaction? Or is this the culture of EE women that I should just learn? Or is there something I am missing out on entirely such as what some of you suggested, some girls expect dinner if we expect sex? It's not about the $$$ of dinner. Honestly the dinner though expensive is something I could have afforded. It just felt weird to encounter this scenario. For someone to demand a specific place.
That's why I started this thread. First time I found myself in this situation. Wondered what everyone else would do.
For those of you who commented that you did not expect this from me. I don't know what expectations you bros here have of me. I don't see myself as a Casanova or some amazing DJ. I don't claim to have figured everything out. Most of the time I am still learning about women and dating. By no means am I an expert. I have to admit that. Yes, for those who followed my NC journey last year, sad to say I have begun another NC journey again recently. I thought I learnt but yet again made similar mistakes. I guess I am still not there yet fully although I also had a lot of fun & success along the way with women since SS. I would rather have my bros expect me to come on SS regularly to share my situations and confusions with girls; and we can discuss it together and maybe gain insights from it. Definitely don't see me as an expert.
The Update & What Happened Next
So after reading all the responses, and thank you everyone, I told her that I think we are on different grounds. I said whilst I really wanted to see her and spend time with her and I had planned some awesome things for her. It feels like she is more concerned about a restaurant than she is about spending time together. So I rejected her. She also agreed we are on different levels too based on this response.
Who knows, maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I missed a chance here with a hottie. But I feel good. She is easily a 9 (face) and a 10 (body). But I rejected her. After all I felt like I was being told what to do and have desire negotiated, I wasn't willing to accept that. Maybe I misread the situation with her but that is what it felt like to me.
But once again, thank you bros, for all your input. As always very very helpful and what a great thread to read.
