I failed miserably when texting this girl

[superstorm250]

Why do you care what some random woman thinks about you so much? If you get rejected, so what?

Its not so much getting rejected by this one girl as it is all of the negative thoughts about this and how rejection will always happen to me every time would get confirmed if she rejected me and then I would probably become very depressed. I already slipped into a pretty bad depression just from my sh*tty texting performance and haven't been sober very much in the past couple days as a result of it.

 

[superstorm250]

Okay, so you fūcked up bad here. Yes this cannot be salvaged. Save yourself some self-respect and just move on. But here's what you can learn from this.


Here are general texting rules that can prevent you from ever making the texting mistake again.


- Keep texting short

Texting is not the same as talking and should be treated as such. Serious topics (unless its her sending the paragraphs) should always be avoided. If it's not logistics or fun and flirty you should not be texting. Rule of thumb: Your texts should rarely be longer than three lines. Make everything you say concise and to the point

-Keep texting short

Yes it's here twice. The first one is referring to actual text length, this one refers to the length of time you text. Never text a woman all day. Texting with plates should consist of small short stimulating conversations usually initiated by her. When you get that random midday "hey" humor her for a bit and if you dont see a way to finesse a meet up stop replying. Do not let a woman get into the habit of expecting a good morning/night message or reply. It's okay occasionally but she should never expect it. Rule of thumb: End on Highnote. Conversations usually reach a point of climax where the main point has been discussed and either someone needs to change the topic or come from a different angle. End conversations here by not replying. There is nothing better than a good joke or playful banter and then vanishing. Her last memory of you will be positive.

-Don't use emojis, "lol" or exclamation marks unless the situation really calls for it. (Which is pretty much never)

You are not some bubbling idiot excited to be talking to a girl. Certainly the conversation is not so entertaining that you are laughing at every text. Rule of thumb: Don't use "lol" unless you actually laugh out loud. And I don't mean a snicker or chuckle. I mean a ha ha ha laugh. Most of the time when people type "lol" or use an emoji there isn't a hint of an expression on their face. Just like now, while you read this with that voice in your head, with a straight face... See.

-Match her reply time. 2 hr. Limit

If she takes 5 mins to text back. You take 7. She's takes 10 you take 13. These aren't hardlined rules that need to be followed to the T. Just guides. Obviously if the conversation is freaky and she's talking about how she's gonna blow you reply right away. Basically this rule boils down to don't be the guy who has absolutely nothing going on and replies the second he get's a message. If a woman's messages are coming in at 30-45 mins apart, the time you reply needs to be doubled if you reply at all. Rule of thumb: If a woman takes longer than 2 hours to reply to your message don't reply at all. She needs to reinitiate. Eventually, she will learn what behavior keeps your attention and behave accordingly.

- Speak like a real human being

I never understood why sometimes you guys are so wordy. Your texts messages shouldn't look like you just got off of diction.com in search of synonyms to really express your feelings. Keep it short and simple to ensure she knows exactly what you mean. Your vocabulary does not impress a woman, even the geeky ones. Rule of thumb: 'I am going to fūck you tonight' will always be more of a turn on than 'tonight we'll be passionate' 9 times out of 10. Life isn't a highschool romcom.

Thanks for the advice, I'm gonna bookmark it and keep it in mind for next time. I still just feel like sh*t right now because of how badly I messed up and that I killed any interest that could've been there with this very poor texting performance.

 

[superstorm250]

the problems I've seen with all of your texts:

1. you don't really flirt, you don't tease her or get playful, you don't use innuendo or mention anything sexual, etc. I used to have this problem too for years, you're just exchanging information you're not acting like you're trying to get into her pants

2. your conversation isn't really interesting, I learned a long time ago to not actually ever tell people what I'm doing for real because your actual life is most likely not interesting, so when someone goes "wyd" in july I respond "christmas tree shopping, you?", when someone goes "what's your major" I respond "dank memeology" when someone asks me where I work, I say "part time strip club part time magic mike 3 filming"

whenever I get a chance, I tell exciting mildly embellished stories about that one time me and my friend got jumped in the hood but we fought them off 2v6

you gotta have these hoes in the shower thinking about the things you said later on, wondering how one man can be so absolutely insane but also interesting at the same time.

3. she's clearly not interested, she only ever says the bare minimum, never adds to the conversation, we don't learn anything about her through reading your pictures, she's either the world's most boring person or she can barely stomach you. (probably both)

1. Yeah I know I didn't, I saw myself making that mistake and I did nothing to fix it. I guess I just figured that it was too late to fix it by adding that in later in the conversation, it should've been there from the beginning.

2. I agree, I basically bored her to death and that explains why she started responding way less often and would do things like sharing things on Facebook or updating her story on Snapchat before ever sending me a very short response.

3. I think she was interested at the VERY beginning, but quickly lost interest from my sh*tty texting performance. Basically like Konada said in an earlier reply:

"You already failed from the 3rd exchange onwards I didn't have to read to know how it was going go down.
Do you tell your buddies about your life? I think not. Even a dude receiving your messages would tell you to stfu because that's how you're coming across to the girl - annoying.

Just talk like a normal human being and ask her out. She had interest but you killed it by being the lonely grandma that keeps talking to random people at the park."

 

[bigneil]

I got a number this week - here was our original conversation:

Me: Dear (her name), I stopped by your work tonight just to see you. When I walked in I was one step behind you as you walked across the room. Your braids made my heart sing.
Her: Hi Love! Why did you leave so soon?? You could have said goodbye but it was nice to see you!
Me: For our first photo shoot I want you to braid your hair again and Uber to (town) and wear a 1950's summer dress with red flowers. Please send me your schedule for this week.
Her: Ok baby! I will know my schedule tomorrow and I will let you know!

 

[superstorm250]

I got a number this week - here was our original conversation:

Me: Dear (her name), I stopped by your work tonight just to see you. When I walked in I was one step behind you as you walked across the room. Your braids made my heart sing.
Her: Hi Love! Why did you leave so soon?? You could have said goodbye but it was nice to see you!
Me: For our first photo shoot I want you to braid your hair again and Uber to (town) and wear a 1950's summer dress with red flowers. Please send me your schedule for this week.
Her: Ok baby! I will know my schedule tomorrow and I will let you know!

Yep, that's better than my long As$ and sh*tty texting performance. I still feel like sh*t because of how badly I messed up, I also feel like a huge idiot for messing up so early on.

 

[bigneil]

Yep, that's better than my long As$ and sh*tty texting performance. I still feel like sh*t because of how badly I messed up, I also feel like a huge idiot for messing up so early on.

Stop caring about that one girl. That's the problem. Once you have a handful of women going you can stop caring about any one in particular.

Note: my new girl stalled. I may have actually asked her out too fast. I need to go talk to her in person again since we hardly spent more than 3 minutes together so far. We always encounter inertia at the point where relationship dynamics change. In other words, she'll pause before officially liking/replying to/initiating/dating/kissing/sleeping with/loving/committing to/marrying you, in most cases.

 

[superstorm250]

Stop caring about that one girl. That's the problem. Once you have a handful of women going you can stop caring about any one in particular.

Note: my new girl stalled. I may have actually asked her out too fast. I need to go talk to her in person again since we hardly spent more than 3 minutes together so far. We always encounter inertia at the point where relationship dynamics change. In other words, she'll pause before officially liking/replying to/initiating/dating/kissing/sleeping with/loving/committing to/marrying you, in most cases.

Yeah that's what happens when you're almost never around any girls, you develop oneitis with the girl that you are interested in because no other girls are around, now its back to square one. And yeah you probably should go and talk to that girl in person again if she's stalling.

 

[switch7]

lol I'm laughing at what you texted this girl. I feel for you but it's also funny at the same time. Don't be hard on yourself, just make an effort to change.

You could just send her a text saying, 'please ignore anything I said the other night. I was high on acid and had done a huge amount of cocaine. I don't even own an arcade machine.'

 

[superstorm250]

lol I'm laughing at what you texted this girl. I feel for you but it's also funny at the same time. Don't be hard on yourself, just make an effort to change.

You could just send her a text saying, 'please ignore anything I said the other night. I was high on acid and had done a huge amount of cocaine. I don't even own an arcade machine.'

Yeah I get that, it can be pretty funny to see other people's cringeworthy fails, I'm guilty of doing the same. I don't think things can be salvaged with this girl, I feel like I blew it with her anything else would be a lost cause.

 

[Fruitbat]

You're making the noob mistake of "if you guys knew all the details, you'd see it differently". No man, I get it. Hopefully you will too next time. There's a bigger issue behind your whole approach here.

That old chesnut - no, this girl is DIFFERENT. Been there.

Game changed for different chicks but the safest adage of all attraction, male or female,is don't overdo interest or attachment as it backfires. The more you grasp, the more they run away.

 

[marmel75]

Its not so much getting rejected by this one girl as it is all of the negative thoughts about this and how rejection will always happen to me every time would get confirmed if she rejected me and then I would probably become very depressed. I already slipped into a pretty bad depression just from my sh*tty texting performance and haven't been sober very much in the past couple days as a result of it.

You've already pretty much assured it by playing it in your mind over and over like a movie. Your mind doesn't know any different so when you are in a situation like that in real life, it will find a way to make sure the result plays out exactly how you scripted it in your mind thousands if times.

You have basically been practicing this over and over again for the last however many years in your mind...practice makes perfect. You will get nowhere until you practice telling your mind something different.

 

[marmel75]

I can only imagine that if I were a newbie, not out here meeting/managing women everyday, and ONLY had the information from this website to rely on in terms of information on how to best handle women..........I would be WORSE OFF than if I never came here at all.

Look at the silly fvcking advice you guys keep giving out.

- When you get a number, don't call/text for 3 - 7 days
- Never text at all
- When you text, never use emojis or "lol", keep it short
- When you call/text, keep communicate short, only push for the date

WHAT in the flying FVCK kind of advice is this?? You can't tell me you guys are out here dating Millennial women, you can't. This is how the shyt really goes...........

- If you get her number Monday at 2:00 p.m., you better be texting her by 8:00 p.m. the same day if you want her to remember who the hell you are.

- LEARN to text, text, text, and text your life away because you will be doing a lot of it. Learn to use emojis, "lol", "lmao", and all of the shyt us Millennials say/communicate when texting/speaking on social media.

- Then, make sure you add phone calls in there.......longgggg phone calls that go 30 - 90 minutes sometimes, where you and her just "kick in" and discuss a variety of things from serious topics, to intelligent topics, to romantic topics, to sexual/phone caking, etc.

After all of that, once you guys start to do the in person dates/live meets, you will already have a great rapport build up with the woman. Plus, you are LESS LIKELY to even get a date/live meet with a chick without going through the telephone/texting process.

That's the truth based from the field, I have no flying clue what these other guys are talking about.

There still is no reason to text a chick he already knows fairly well more than a few times before asking her out. Otherwise he is going to look scared and like he is trying to work up the courage to do it like he has with all this other BS he was texting her about.

This isn't some random chick he never met before, he worked with her and knows her.

 

[superstorm250]

You've already pretty much assured it by playing it in your mind over and over like a movie. Your mind doesn't know any different so when you are in a situation like that in real life, it will find a way to make sure the result plays out exactly how you scripted it in your mind thousands if times.

You have basically been practicing this over and over again for the last however many years in your mind...practice makes perfect. You will get nowhere until you practice telling your mind something different.

You just described me better than I ever could have, that's why I said in an earlier reply that I kind of think I subconsciously made those mistakes when texting her on purpose in order to fit the narrative that my mind and conscious already know, just like how you said.

 

[superstorm250]

There still is no reason to text a chick he already knows fairly well more than a few times before asking her out. Otherwise he is going to look scared and like he is trying to work up the courage to do it like he has with all this other BS he was texting her about.

This isn't some random chick he never met before, he worked with her and knows her.

Exactly, and that's why looking back on our conversation now, I kind of think that at the VERY beginning she was happy and excited to hear from me because she thought I was gonna ask her out, but then quickly lost interest in me and saw that didn't have the confidence and courage to ask her out after I started babbling on about all the BS that I said instead.

 

[CMNILS87]

I didn't read any of those texts, but by skimming past I saw a butt ton of blue and her basically keeping the convo going by replying. Too much talking, you turned her off. Women's minds like to fantasize about you while you're away and she can't do that when you destroy that mystery of sexiness by talking 24/7. She didn't know you before and were mysterious. Women don't want you to talk to them about your wants/needs/dreams.

Texting is for logistics, teasing her, sexting, and setting stuff up with women. Any other info is bull**** and cannon fodder that they can use against you. You're putting the pusdy on a pedestal. Treat her like your bro buddies

 

[superstorm250]

I didn't read any of those texts, but by skimming past I saw a butt ton of blue and her basically keeping the convo going by replying. Too much talking, you turned her off. Women's minds like to fantasize about you while you're away and she can't do that when you destroy that mystery of sexiness by talking 24/7. She didn't know you before and were mysterious. Women don't want you to talk to them about your wants/needs/dreams.

Texting is for logistics, teasing her, sexting, and setting stuff up with women. Any other info is bull**** and cannon fodder that they can use against you. You're putting the pusdy on a pedestal. Treat her like your bro buddies

I make a point of not putting the pu$sy on the pedestal, I think it was more of me being a blabbing idiot who made a mistake that most guys my age with half a brain wouldn't ever make. But she actually did know me before this, did you see where I wrote in my first post that we worked together at a temporary summer job and that's how we met?

 

[bigneil]

Stop caring about that one girl. That's the problem. Once you have a handful of women going you can stop caring about any one in particular.

Note: my new girl stalled. I may have actually asked her out too fast. I need to go talk to her in person again since we hardly spent more than 3 minutes together so far. We always encounter inertia at the point where relationship dynamics change. In other words, she'll pause before officially liking/replying to/initiating/dating/kissing/sleeping with/loving/committing to/marrying you, in most cases.

Today I wrote "I might have got ahead of myself with your having braids and the same name as my favorite model, I should come see you at work this week" and she immediately sent two long replies saying that was a great idea and she's still up for it.

 

[CMNILS87]

I make a point of not putting the pu$sy on the pedestal, I think it was more of me being a blabbing idiot who made a mistake that most guys my age with half a brain wouldn't ever make. But she actually did know me before this, did you see where I wrote in my first post that we worked together at a temporary summer job and that's how we met?

Yes I saw that, she may have knew you, but you guys didn't text at all like that before. When you open your mouth and blab on and on, you start acting like a chick friend. It's better be silent and s chick asking you what's wrong than s girl replying yea or it's been a long day, no way, interesting

 

[superstorm250]

Yes I saw that, she may have knew you, but you guys didn't text at all like that before. When you open your mouth and blab on and on, you start acting like a chick friend. It's better be silent and s chick asking you what's wrong than s girl replying yea or it's been a long day, no way, interesting

Yeah we didn't and that was a really bad first phone conversation between the two of us. There definitely was no mystery and nothing left up to her imagination after what I did, the only thing that was a result of my messages was boredom and predictability on my part when it should've been more mysterious and unpredictable instead.

 

[superstorm250]

Today I wrote "I might have got ahead of myself with your having braids and the same name as my favorite model, I should come see you at work this week" and she immediately sent two long replies saying that was a great idea and she's still up for it.

Glad that worked out for you, that's exactly what I should've done instead, just had my texts to her be short, simple, and to the point and let her be the one to write the long replies.