I'm an artist too. I have emotions--I love the fact that I have emotions. You can find various posts from me on this very forum advocating that real emotional strength requires the full experience of one's own emotions. BUT after following my emotions to their reasonable conclusion with women (self-annihilation lol) and taking life as art to its fullest extent (self-annihilation lol), I realized that I needed to be a man, first, and an artist second. I still feel everything that I needed to inform my art BUT I also realized my own agency over those feelings and how I decide to
act, which is the fundamental difference between a man and a boy. When you're a boy, life happens to you. When you're a man, you happen to life.
You may not want that responsibility over your own life--a lot of people don't and a lot of artists, in particular, are attracted to that lifestyle in the first place just as an excuse to be half-functional adults and exercise the maximum amount of self-indulgence, waiting to 'be discovered' and exalting their own martyrdom when they're not doing sh1t to get their stuff in front of the right eyes. That's cool, plus a lot of great artists were super fvcked up--but don't expect my validation.
I have absolutely no problem with men going their own way
as long as it's their own decision. Right now, you're just reacting. It's not even from a position of power. More like, "Oh, yeah. Well if you won't play by my rules, I'm taking my ball and going home." And, yeah, I'm going to call you on it--because this isn't an echo chamber and you don't sound happy. And I know exactly why you're not happy--because I've pulled the same rationalizations & experienced the same cognitive dissonance. Plus, if you can't learn from it, other people can. I know all of the above probably sounds pretty invalidating--and maybe you're right, and you're just a special snowflake and super edgy and 'none of us know what it's like'
--but it's all love bro and I hope you'll consider that your experience of life isn't all that unique and that there's a lot of strength in recognizing that on a lot of levels the human experience is pretty damn universal.