Your thoughts on men hitting their stride with women and being f*ckboys after 30.

[Divorced w 3]

What I think is either shooed from, or implied at least as a negative, is dating single mothers. So at 40, in the last 2 years, never have I once gone out with a single mother.

Dialogue of any consistency landed mostly in the early 30’s, while casual sex typically ran the spectrum of early 20’s to late 30’s. Having been in a 18 month relationship with a childless woman whom I met at 33, I learned that even as a elementary school teacher, the issue of priority equality and attempting to create an environment of equal time between all members was not something that ever seemed to be totally resolved. In other words, when they’re not your kids it’s really hard to ‘get it.’ Especially when you have never been in that environment at all.

So what I am saying is, and I just wonder - what I did in my teens and 20’s before I got married - then obviously made a massive mistake in a marriage - but then why not go back into casual relationships which mostly likely can blossom into something with a single parent - just not rule out childless either

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

It’s typical Red Pill catch up and getting Chad’s leftovers. Late to the party, but that’s other men’s choices that I don’t care about. RP tortoises had to “do the work” and contribute to GDP and hit the pavement while teenaged broccoli heads, criminals, and couch surfers attract women by way of existing.

Richard Cooper, Myron Gaines, Michael Sartain, and the like—late to the party, frantic, overly serious, middle-aged cleaner-uppers and catcher-uppers.

Not necessarily.

1. Plenty of younger women are sleeping with older guys, especially these days and yeah, in many cases it is a Sugar Baby relationship but you are hitting her in her prime while MOST young guys are not

2. Plenty of guys got married young due to their upbringing or were like me and spent most of their 20s in LTRs since we, mistakingly, looked down on the player lifestyle and would be shamed for it in most places outside of big cities

3. Contrary to popular belief, most "Chads" are not smashing, I am sure @CornbreadFed can confirm this too but a lot of these "Chads" find a Stacy to wife up or settle down with FAST

4. You use the worst of the red pill to make an example overall

5. I have met Michael IRL and can confirm that he most definitely has hot girls he is sleeping with

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

It doesn’t. See my post if you wish. If a guy is not a womanizer by 30, chances are he won’t be one.

This is false and I have seen plenty of counterexamples of it, commonly happens with guys that come off of a divorce and dudes who accumulate resources and freedom later in life. Heck, Hefner did not start Playboy until an older age. I would ask you to expand your worldview some more here.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Tbh I really hit my stride from 28-31 and banged my most amount of women. I've usually been a late bloomer.

I used to suffer from big anxiety and overthink everything (still happens), but I just learned a lot from the past. Plus I'm much better looking now.

 

[SW15]

What society do you live in? American society pressures no one to get married.

I disagree that there's no pressure in American culture to get married.

I am a never married 41 year old male who has felt some level of pressure in my interactions to get married.

I think both men and women feel pressure. I think pressure is different for men and women. I'll discuss the American male experience of pressure below.

For American men, pressure to marry mainly comes from 3 sources....

1. Friends/social circle
2. Family/parents
3. Religion

Friends/Social Circle

Most men have friends and some social circle. The members of most men's social circles are similarly aged. When a man reaches his late 20s/early 30s, there will often be a flurry of marriages in his social circle.

Most men will have a social circle with members with a blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships.

Most men will see all their friends getting married and they'll start to wonder about themselves. They'll wonder why they haven't gotten married and if they should get married because it seems that's what all their friends are doing. Red pill men are not exempt from this thought process though most red pill men know how to handle it better.

Family/Parents

Some men also face familial pressures to marry. Men will see similarly aged siblings and cousins marrying, often around the same time that their friends are marrying. This adds to the thoughts and feelings described above.

Some parents can put pressure on an unmarried adult child to marry. It depends on the parent/child relationship.

Religion

Many men were raised in Christian religions that are based around marriage. This can compound the parental pressures mentioned above to marry. Many Christian faiths ban pre-marital sex. There are people that marry so that they can have sex within their religion.

 

[SW15]

1. Plenty of younger women are sleeping with older guys, especially these days and yeah, in many cases it is a Sugar Baby relationship but you are hitting her in her prime while MOST young guys are not

You have observed something that happens. How common is it? There's a case that it is less common than you think that it is.

The Pew Research Center recently released some data points to show that US husbands and wives are very close in age (see below). On average, men are only 2.2 years older than their wives.

There's a key question to ask. How do age gaps differ between non-marital couples and these marital couples in the Pew data?

I don't think that they would vary drastically. Most people are blue pilled and most people end up married.

Most men are pussie beggars for similar aged women after age 30.

A growing share of U.S. husbands and wives are roughly the same age

On average, husbands and wives were 2.2 years apart in age in 2022, down from 2.4 years in 2000 and 4.9 years in 1880.

www.pewresearch.org

.

3. Contrary to popular belief, most "Chads" are not smashing, I am sure @CornbreadFed can confirm this too but a lot of these "Chads" find a Stacy to wife up or settle down with FAST

I agree with this point. "Chads" do smash but sometimes for limited periods of time. In colleges, most fraternity members opt for a sorority girlfriend. This can be considered "Chad and Stacy" but that's not the full truth. "Chad & Stacy" are only from the top tier fraternities and sororities. Some guys in top fraternities put up high notch count but a lot will get a monogamous relationship with a Stacy tier (8+ female) from a top sorority.

A lot of "Chads" do eventually settle down with a "Stacy" and that's a pairing that makes sense. A very good looking man forms an LTR (often leading to marriage) with a very good looking woman.

Women like the "6" range woman in the video below are upset. This "6" range women can have shorter term sex with many 8.5+ range men but can't find an 8.5+ range man for a longer term commitment. This eventually forces a 6-6.5 range type female to settle for a 6-6.5 range male and that's far less exciting for the woman than the days of her sex with 8.5+ range men.

8.5+ range men will only settle with some 8+ woman in looks for the most part.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is false and I have seen plenty of counterexamples of it, commonly happens with guys that come off of a divorce and dudes who accumulate resources and freedom later in life. Heck, Hefner did not start Playboy until an older age. I would ask you to expand your worldview some more here.

This is actually consistent with what I’ve been saying: some men have a jumpstart because of their DNA at young ages and others need to “do the work” and get rewarded later (hence my term catcher-upper)…. IF such work results in especially high income and status.

I don’t deny what you wrote.

 

[GoodMan32]

This stood out to me, so I wanted to quote it. As a guy who’s 31 and never dated, this hit home and is a pretty big concern of mine for a couple of reasons. It highlights how far behind I am since I’m still at the stage of wanting to date for fun and exploration (being a f*ck boy) while society is saying its time to settle down. Also when it comes to the dating pool for my age group, I have a bad feeling it’s gonna be full of women who have settling down in mind and they won’t take me seriously if they were to find out that I’ve never dated. They’ll see it as a waste of time for them because someone’s first relationship never lasts, so they would be entering into a relationship that is guaranteed to fail and never lead to settling down. And to be fair, I want that fun and exploration phase still, so I wouldn’t want to date a woman who has settling down in mind anyway. I just think those women are gonna be the majority at my age unfortunately.

I'm close to your age (33). I've been told I'm too old for the casual sex lifestyle I desire.

To hell with the naysayers.

You're right that many a woman in our age group will likely want to settle down. It would appear this leaves you with 2 main options:

• Go for a younger woman if you can pull one
• Find a woman (of any age) who's either newly divorced or in a sexless/unhappy marriage. I say this as a guy who had an affair with an older married woman in a sexless marriage who was thinking of divorcing her husband

 

[GoodMan32]

Not necessarily.

1. Plenty of younger women are sleeping with older guys, especially these days and yeah, in many cases it is a Sugar Baby relationship but you are hitting her in her prime while MOST young guys are not

2. Plenty of guys got married young due to their upbringing or were like me and spent most of their 20s in LTRs since we, mistakingly, looked down on the player lifestyle and would be shamed for it in most places outside of big cities

3. Contrary to popular belief, most "Chads" are not smashing, I am sure @CornbreadFed can confirm this too but a lot of these "Chads" find a Stacy to wife up or settle down with FAST

4. You use the worst of the red pill to make an example overall

5. I have met Michael IRL and can confirm that he most definitely has hot girls he is sleeping with

Player lifestyles are frowned upon outside of a big city?

I was raised in a small town (population below 20 thousand). My childhood house was only a few miles away from farmland. Yet the player lifestyle was huge at my high school (Even though I didn't partake. Had I gone to high school parties though, I probably could have gotten laid, even with my social awkwardness).

In college, I went to college in a small city. I bedded 6 different broads during college.

Ironically, the big city where I've lived since my mid 20s is where I'm finding it the hardest to live a player lifestyle.

 

[GoodMan32]

I disagree that there's no pressure in American culture to get married.

I am a never married 41 year old male who has felt some level of pressure in my interactions to get married.

I think both men and women feel pressure. I think pressure is different for men and women. I'll discuss the American male experience of pressure below.

For American men, pressure to marry mainly comes from 3 sources....

1. Friends/social circle
2. Family/parents
3. Religion

Friends/Social Circle

Most men have friends and some social circle. The members of most men's social circles are similarly aged. When a man reaches his late 20s/early 30s, there will often be a flurry of marriages in his social circle.

Most men will have a social circle with members with a blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships.

Most men will see all their friends getting married and they'll start to wonder about themselves. They'll wonder why they haven't gotten married and if they should get married because it seems that's what all their friends are doing. Red pill men are not exempt from this thought process though most red pill men know how to handle it better.

Family/Parents

Some men also face familial pressures to marry. Men will see similarly aged siblings and cousins marrying, often around the same time that their friends are marrying. This adds to the thoughts and feelings described above.

Some parents can put pressure on an unmarried adult child to marry. It depends on the parent/child relationship.

Religion

Many men were raised in Christian religions that are based around marriage. This can compound the parental pressures mentioned above to marry. Many Christian faiths ban pre-marital sex. There are people that marry so that they can have sex within their religion.

I remember a time when a woman (born the same year as me) said once a man reaches a certain age and hasn't been married, it makes a woman wonder what's wrong with him (she wasn't saying that about me specifically; she was speaking in generalities).

I (for the most part) have never been the type to do stuff just because everyone else is doing it (I've never smoked weed, I never went to college parties, etc). So the fact "everyone else" is getting married doesn't pressure me (although I certainly see where it might pressure a lot of men)

 

[SW15]

Find a woman (of any age) who's either newly divorced or in a sexless/unhappy marriage. I say this as a guy who had an affair with an older married woman in a sexless marriage who was thinking of divorcing her husband

This is more difficult to put into action in real life than you might think.

There are plenty of newly divorced women on swipe apps. Few will advertise themselves as newly divorced.

Women have immense choices on apps, even newly divorced women in their 30s/40s. Getting a mutual match from a newly divorced woman is less probable.

Newly divorced women do go to bars but so do never married women and longer time divorced women. It would be difficult to specifically target newly divorced women at a bar

There's a bar in a Dallas suburb (Plano) that is known to be a haven for 40+ divorced women. Not all of the divorcees at this bar are newly divorced and I'd say many have been divorced for 1 year or longer. A lot of the female divorcees there are single moms and that's not good for something longer term. It might be acceptable for some guys for shorter term. There have been younger guys (20s-early 30s) that have mainly lived in Dallas and driven up to this Plano bar to try to have same night sex with the 40+ divorcees at this bar. This bar has a strong reputation for that as it has been open for 15+ years. Some newer bars in Plano might also be popular with 40+ single mom type divorcees. I have never written up this venue on the Dallas thread before.

Targeting married women is more difficult for unmarried men. The typical daygamer unmarried man at a place like a grocery store or mall isn't motivated to approach a woman wearing a wedding ring. He has no idea about the quality of her marriage. He sees a ring and doesn't want to waste his time. Some unhappily married women do take off their wedding rings in an attempt to get approached in the real world. A lot of unhappily married women will have affairs through their social networks rather than from a stranger.

I remember a time when a woman (born the same year as me) said once a man reaches a certain age and hasn't been married, it makes a woman wonder what's wrong with him (she wasn't saying that about me specifically; she was speaking in generalities).

This is a stereotype that is old and refuses to die. I think it emerged when Silents/Boomers were reaching middle age.

Older women (30+ or even 35+) have tended to favor divorced men for LTRs over never married men in these older age categories. Divorced men have a failed marriage to their names whereas a never married man has never failed in marriage. To be fair to divorced men, the failed marriage might not be their fault to a good degree. In most cases, the divorced man wasn't the one who filed to end the marriage. I think a failed marriage shows someone is worse in marriage than someone who has no track record in marriage. A guy who avoids a failed marriage could be considered a smart man. He's not commitment phobic. He's often making a logical decision based on probability.

The fact that a man has never married doesn't mean anything is wrong with him solely based on that fact alone.

A record number of men and women are reaching age 40 now and have never married, so one might think that stereotype will die soon. Even with a record number of Millennials reaching age 40 now and never having married, most Millennials are getting married prior to age 40.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is more difficult to put into action in real life than you might think.

There are plenty of newly divorced women on swipe apps. Few will advertise themselves as newly divorced.

Women have immense choices on apps, even newly divorced women in their 30s/40s. Getting a mutual match from a newly divorced woman is less probable.

Newly divorced women do go to bars but so do never married women and longer time divorced women. It would be difficult to specifically target newly divorced women at a bar

There's a bar in a Dallas suburb (Plano) that is known to be a haven for 40+ divorced women. Not all of the divorcees at this bar are newly divorced and I'd say many have been divorced for 1 year or longer. A lot of the female divorcees there are single moms and that's not good for something longer term. It might be acceptable for some guys for shorter term. There have been younger guys (20s-early 30s) that have mainly lived in Dallas and driven up to this Plano bar to try to have same night sex with the 40+ divorcees at this bar. This bar has a strong reputation for that as it has been open for 15+ years. Some newer bars in Plano might also be popular with 40+ single mom type divorcees. I have never written up this venue on the Dallas thread before.

Targeting married women is more difficult for unmarried men. The typical daygamer unmarried man at a place like a grocery store or mall isn't motivated to approach a woman wearing a wedding ring. He has no idea about the quality of her marriage. He sees a ring and doesn't want to waste his time. Some unhappily married women do take off their wedding rings in an attempt to get approached in the real world. A lot of unhappily married women will have affairs through their social networks rather than from a stranger.



This is a stereotype that is old and refuses to die. I think it emerged when Silents/Boomers were reaching middle age.

Older women (30+ or even 35+) have tended to favor divorced men for LTRs over never married men in these older age categories. Divorced men have a failed marriage to their names whereas a never married man has never failed in marriage. To be fair to divorced men, the failed marriage might not be their fault to a good degree. In most cases, the divorced man wasn't the one who filed to end the marriage. I think a failed marriage shows someone is worse in marriage than someone who has no track record in marriage. A guy who avoids a failed marriage could be considered a smart man. He's not commitment phobic. He's often making a logical decision based on probability.

The fact that a man has never married doesn't mean anything is wrong with him solely based on that fact alone.

A record number of men and women are reaching age 40 now and have never married, so one might think that stereotype will die soon. Even with a record number of Millennials reaching age 40 now and never having married, most Millennials are getting married prior to age 40.

You make a good point. It's virtually impossible to tell if a woman is newly divorced.

The married woman I had the affair with contacted me based on a craigslist post (This was back in 2015. It wasn't until 2017 that craigslist stopped allowing you to advertise sex).

Interestingly, the unhappily married woman admitted to me that she had been wearing low cut tops out in public in the hopes a man would come onto her. Since she had no luck with that approach, she turned to craigslist as a last resort. I don't remember if she wore a wedding ring.

Getting affairs with a married woman would be a lot easier if craigslist still allowed us to advertise sex. Yeah, I know it's been said on this forum that we need to adapt to changing times (as far as tech methods go). But to the best of my knowledge, no other platform has been able to fill the void of craigslist's sex ads.

Back in 2021, I remember 2 local broads (one married, one not) replying to a non-sexual post I posted on my local craigslist. After exchanging images (I even sent a banana pic to the married woman), it turned out they were attracted to me. There are still ways to get x-rated dialogues through private messages on craigslist; it's just a lot harder (you basically have to hope a woman who's intrigued by your non-sexual post will turn out to be a horndog who finds you attractive).

Alas though, neither of the broads from 2021 craigslist ended up having intercourse with me (that being said, even when craigslist allowed sex ads, a woman replying to your sex ad was no guarantee you'd have sex)

On the topic of the stigma of never being married, I agree, hopefully it will die out as more and more Americans end up in the "never married" category. Being never married doesn't automatically mean there's something wrong with a man; I know. But it certainly can mean there's something wrong with him (There's a reason I've made it to 33 unmarried)