Your thoughts on men hitting their stride with women and being f*ckboys after 30.

[GoodMan32]

@SW15 So many posts for me to respond to but I will speak on men peaking after 30.

What I have personally found is that men who peak earlier in life just had easier lives and easier circumstances growing up. This is what people miss. Success with women when you are young is based on circumstances. Rich parents and a nice private school with girls in it? If those parents are laid back, you are practically guaranteed to have some luck. Same with Greek Life in college and even early 20s. It just propels you forward with ease when those circles are around. Men in this camp have it easy and they peak early.

These guys will likely settle down or fizzle out so they settle down fast. A huge number of guys also never get it.

Then you have guys who have been through a lot in life. They grew up in a repressed household, bad environments, and spent a good bit of their teens and 20s in survival mode. Then their 20s were spent doing a lot of introspection and I am sure that maybe @Mike32ct falls into this category.

These guys are cleaning up the clutter in their 20s that they had to endure through all of their lives since kids. Then these guys peak in their 30s and start to have actual success with women once the proper work has been done and yes, fitness is one of those things as is the mental side of it.

From my observations in high school, the male students with bad boy tendencies were the high school peakers.

 

[GoodMan32]

@SW15 and I am sure others who watch sports like my boy @CornbreadFed can relate to this analogy.

Guys who peak in their 20s with women are like head coaches that inherit a team that was already winning championships because everything was in place, it is a plug and play. They just need to show up because everything is in place already. The supporting cast, ownership, and everyone are in place who have been running things smoothly. These are the guys who peak in their 20s.

Men who peak in their 30s are like the head coach that inherits a losing team with bad ownership and a broken system. You are going to have seasons that will suck but you just need to win more games each season. It will take you quite a few seasons to go from mediocre to actually winning a championship.

However, I can say that if by 35 a guy does not have it figured out with women, dating, and game, he most certainly won't figure it out.

What about a guy like me who has wealthy parents and above average (even if not 10/10) looks?

You'd think I'd have it made with the ladies. Yet I've always struggled in that regard.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

heck I know some one guy personally who has done body building and he smashes the fattest chicks, lmfao. LIke there is no point IMO of working out if you wanna do that.

Maybe they believe in body positivity?

Some attraction weirds me out, like feeders and their super-obese girlfriends. Some people really stretch the notion of acceptable. I don't really care, fat chicks need love too, at least someone is keeping them busy.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I would take it a step further that a lot of Chads(and Tyrones) are also smashing women far below their SMV, I've seen this (all races) of a guy who is great looking, in fantastic shape banging a fattie or UG chick. Obviously it's easier for them to bang these types but it blows my mind how everyone assumes Chad/Tyrone are only banging hotties when it's not the case. A lot of those guys will smash fatties/UG's too heck I know some one guy personally who has done body building and he smashes the fattest chicks, lmfao. LIke there is no point IMO of working out if you wanna do that.

Just to piggyback onto your point. Some people assume that the most successful guys are constantly getting laid—sometimes daily, sometimes weekly—for years, without considering that there are dry spells or weeks or months when things don’t go as planned.

 

[Solomon]

Maybe they believe in body positivity?

Some attraction weirds me out, like feeders and their super-obese girlfriends. Some people really stretch the notion of acceptable. I don't really care, fat chicks need love too, at least someone is keeping them busy.

True there are some guys who have that fetish. But the guy I know who is super buff I think it's a self-esteem issue and fat girls are probably safer and put him on a pedestal. A woman who is smaller size probably would too but if you got those mental blocks well it affects you

 

[BaronOfHair]

You'd think I'd have it made with the ladies. Yet I've always struggled in that regard

"Struggled" in this case meaning: "Like so many men today, I choose to spend most of my waking hours THEORIZING about things from the safety of my own bedroom, rather walking out of the house and being sociable"

You'll remain VOLUNTAIRLY* celibate, if you continue on like this


*There are no Incels... Let's finally put that myth to bed

 

[GoodMan32]

It's an indication of interest, but when it leads to:

You probably messed it up.

That's the thing, women will give you a chance, but if you don't see the chance or you don't know how to deal with the chance you get, you will mess up.
And fail.
But you will learn from your failures.

There are a million possibilities of what exactly I did to dry up her cooch. I was 20 at the time.

Even as late as age 32 (last year), I had no idea the man is supposed to pick the venue for a date.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

True there are some guys who have that fetish. But the guy I know who is super buff I think it's a self-esteem issue and fat girls are probably safer and put him on a pedestal. A woman who is smaller size probably would too but if you got those mental blocks well it affects you

Women will often call you beautiful so you will echo that back to them, even if you're not particularly beautiful. And I don't echo. It's funny, because one of my lovers told me so many times that she thinks I'm beautiful (and she's worried that other women might see how beautiful I am), but I took that for a lark, figuring she just wanted me to give her compliments on her (slightly fading) beauty, but I don't do that. However, she thought I was asleep while she stroked my skin and murmured under her breath "you're my beautiful Kandur", so I think she might mean it. It feels weird, like she almost puts me on a pedestal.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There are a million possibilities of what exactly I did to dry up her cooch. I was 20 at the time.

Good, so did you learn from those failures? Did you analyse why you failed and improved yourself?

Even as late as age 32 (last year), I had no idea the man is supposed to pick the venue for a date.

Not just that, you don't involve the woman in the choice. Not even: "Pizza or Chinese?", just take her there. If she doesn't like it, then she has never been raised to eat whatever the cook made.

 

[GoodMan32]

Good, so did you learn from those failures? Did you analyse why you failed and improved yourself?


Not just that, you don't involve the woman in the choice. Not even: "Pizza or Chinese?", just take her there. If she doesn't like it, then she has never been raised to eat whatever the cook made.

There are certain general lessons I've learned through the years (don't act overly thirsty, for example). In the specific instance of the college classmate having me share a seat with her, I have no idea what I did wrong (so no idea what I could have done differently)

As for the "eat what the cook made" thing, I suppose I'm in no position to question a guy who's had much more success than me, but I can't help but think that sounds like a terrible idea (run the risk of taking a woman to a dining venue she doesn't like). Part of it could be generational. My parents' and grandparents' generation were raised to eat what the cook made. My generation largely wasn't (the woman I had my last date with was my generation; only 6 years older than me)

 

[BaronOfHair]

Not just that, you don't involve the woman in the choice. Not even: "Pizza or Chinese?", just take her there. If she doesn't like it, then she has never been raised to eat whatever the cook made.

Not to mention uncouth. Classy women don't reject a man's hospitality

 

[BadBoy89]

What are your thoughts on a man hitting his stride with dating and attracting women after the age of 30 and choosing to be a f*ckboy to enjoy the lifestyle he couldn't in his 20s?

It doesn't happen. It's made up by the media and powers that be to make them more money.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It doesn't happen. It's made up by the media and powers that be to make them more money.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-fulfilling_prophecy Instilling THAT in many hopelessly gullible men has been The Manosphere's "gift" humanity. Same way everything Joan Didion skewered 2nd Wave Feminism for during it's infancy https://www.nytimes.com/1972/07/30/archives/the-womens-movement-women.html poisoned the minds of entirely too many women

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I suppose I'm in no position to question a guy who's had much more success than me, but I can't help but think that sounds like a terrible idea (run the risk of taking a woman to a dining venue she doesn't like).

That's because you are thinking too much about pleasing your date instead of doing what the date is for - to see if this woman fits with you and your lifestyle.

I don't take women out on dinner dates until after we have been intimate. By that time, I'm pretty sure she's physically compatible with me and she is't vegan or allergic to gluten or otherwise unhealthy (vegetarians are welcome, as long as they don't interfere with my enjoyment of meat). And I know where to take my lovers to have a good time, so if they don't have a good time, they're not suitable for socialising with me.

You're still in the mindset that you have to suck up to a woman in order to get her to comply with your wishes.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Almost all of the sexual marketplace experiences before 22-23 are based solely on circumstances.

Height is an important factor and dependent on your parents' genetics. Geographic constancy will help a lot if your parents keep you in the same geographic for the entirety of the K-12 years. The relationship between your parents also matters as males who deal with parents with some sort of dysfunctional dynamic are more prone to issues. I think height and geographic constancy are the 2 bigger factors, though a younger male will also be helped socially by keeping a normal range BMI. Being an overweight child was hurtful to social popularity in my formative years, but possibly less hurtful now with a larger percentage of the child population overweight.

For those that attend college, joining a fraternity will often make things easier. A mid-tier guy in a mid-tier fraternity is probably going to get a mid girlfriend from a mid-tier sorority. It is likely to be easier for him than a non-Greek Life affiliated mid-tier guy mainly doing stuff at off campus parties, on campus classes, or on campus social clubs.

Below are Greek Life stats. If a male attends a school with a less than 10% Greek Life participation rate, Greek Life won't impact campus life too much. If the Greek Life participation rate is 10-15%, then there are some impacts and he may be affected if he's not Greek Life affiliated. When the Greek Life participation rate is 16%+, then his social life is likely to be impacted at his university if he's not Greek Life affiliated.

https://www.collegetransitions.com/dataverse/greek-life

A lot of the guys who have good setups before 22-23 do peak earlier and can often get into the LTR that leads to marriage by then. Then might not be married at 24, but they might be in the relationship that gets then married at 26-28.

A lot of the peak early guys do end up as divorced males by their late 30s/early 40s. That's when it becomes evident their early advantage is gone and they are going to have to date like the guys who peaked later.

You got it although I will say looks are not that important. You will see relatively average looking dudes getting girls when they are in their teens. The circumstances you grow up in dictate 95% of your success with women before 22. In fact, I would say before 18 but you are still under the control of your parents for years so you can be like our friend on this thread who was forced to go to a commuter campus. However, after 22 is when you have to get it together.

IMO, there is a benefit though. I feel like you have a lot of guys who were gifted things easily in life early on with socializing to the point where they cannot cold approach as well and have to constantly rely on a social circle. When they do not have that, they almost fall apart or come off as bland when they cold approach unless they are really hot. To these guys, game is a foreign concept and they cannot grasp it so they end up being the ones who rely on old friends and circles if that.

I will say that the ceiling later on for guys who peaked earlier in life is low.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I would take it a step further that a lot of Chads(and Tyrones) are also smashing women far below their SMV, I've seen this (all races) of a guy who is great looking, in fantastic shape banging a fattie or UG chick. Obviously it's easier for them to bang these types but it blows my mind how everyone assumes Chad/Tyrone are only banging hotties when it's not the case. A lot of those guys will smash fatties/UG's too heck I know some one guy personally who has done body building and he smashes the fattest chicks, lmfao. LIke there is no point IMO of working out if you wanna do that.

I tried to wonder why that was and here is what I have seen over the years.

Ugly chicks and mid chicks give these dudes tons of validation and end up practically chasing them. Like if you look bad at it, the girls who were thirsting publicly and even on social media for some hot guy are all either ugly or super mid but done up at best. These dudes have validation from these types of girls in their lives who are all around them and overtime, they settle down for just them. They do not have "game" because they never needed it.

Granted, if they had half the game an average looking guy has, they get the hot girl. However, it is tough to do that. It is tough to mentally get yourself to game and put your ego on the line when it is so massaged by the lard that validates you day in and day out.

 

[SW15]

You got it although I will say looks are not that important. You will see relatively average looking dudes getting girls when they are in their teens.

Looks tend to be most important in approaching strangers, which tends to be a bigger thing after high school. What you're observing is somewhat of an effect of status, social circles, and personality.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I tried to wonder why that was and here is what I have seen over the years.

Ugly chicks and mid chicks give these dudes tons of validation and end up practically chasing them. Like if you look bad at it, the girls who were thirsting publicly and even on social media for some hot guy are all either ugly or super mid but done up at best. These dudes have validation from these types of girls in their lives who are all around them and overtime, they settle down for just them. They do not have "game" because they never needed it.

Granted, if they had half the game an average looking guy has, they get the hot girl. However, it is tough to do that. It is tough to mentally get yourself to game and put your ego on the line when it is so massaged by the lard that validates you day in and day out.

That guy obviously looks foreign and probably dealing with her for a green card or monetary reasons lol. In retrospect, I do plan on making a topic on how relatively similar looks are in relationships.