Yes, good girls DO cheat

[Bill]

Ok I feel it's time for me to throw in my 2 cents on the main topic of this post.
My opinion is that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "GOOD GIRL". I can already hear you say "Bill I've been there, done that, met a LOT of women and I can ASSURE you that my girl at the moment IS a good girl, so it's not our fault if you haven't met one yet blahblahblah".... and my answer to this would be: "just HOW do you KNOW that your girl is a GOOD girl? lemme guess... you thought the same exact thing of the 3 - 4 ones before her just before they got drunk, high or whatever and cheated on you?".
So that's my opinion. "Good girls" don't really exist, because you never really KNOW someone (even after many many years, as a poster previously said in this thread... sorry I can't remember your name but you had a good point there). But don't get me wrong here: I am NOT hereby saying that ALL WOMEN would or will cheat if the good circumstances arose; I'm only trying to say that women are women as much as men are men. You can't categorize women as being "good" or "not good", you just can't... and well if you do, you're putting your ENTIRE trust in them and if you ever get cheated on you end up believing that even "good girls" cheat -- hence "good girls" don't exist since cheating is bad (well last time I checked it was).
Guys, again, please don't get wrong: there are WONDERFUL men and women in this world, truely wonderful people; but the famous saying "all is fair in war and love" is IMO true and will remain true. I am CONVINCED that many of you guys' gfs are wonderful women too, but I would personally never dare say that my girl is a "good girl"; I feel that's kind of saying she's "the one".
Comments/flames anyone?
Peace.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Ronin I
Well while I haven't been married I have to disagree here. I want to have children - and when I have children I want to be a good father and raise my children correctly. Now part of that will mean having a wife who can be a wonderful, loving mother.
I truly believe that part of raising children the right way involves providing a stable and loving home.
I do agree- marriage is a gamble - there are no guarantees - but sometimes in life you have to be telling to take risks to get what you want.

Oh sh!t and here i am thinking it takes love to raise a kid properly, and whats this ? i have to marry her for her to be a loving mother, dammit.

who knew a piece of paper from the government could hold so much weight.

*rushes off to church*

 

[Bill]

Bump.

 

[sAxyguy83]

A lot of people seem to be saying that there is no such thing as love. I can say, from personal experience, that that claim is utter bullsh*t. Love is the most powerful emotion that mankind is capable of. It is so powerful that it regularly drives people to do things that they would never do otherwise - it even overrides the survival instinct! If love isn't real, then what is it that can bond two people together for their entire lives? If there's no such thing as love, then why do so many people with a spouse in the 1-2 range, sometimes 200lbs+, see their spouse as a 10? Love is an emotion that can override reason and instinct at once.

Lots of bitter ppl on this board...

 

[Paradox]

Originally posted by Eyecandie4ya
This thread is off the chain!

Ditto. Nice thread guys...and gals. Good to see the female posters getting in there and debating with the guys. Good going Don Juanitas.

 

[Player_Supreme]

this post is right on point. women will find a replacement even before it's over. they know well in advance that yo...azz is getting replaced.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

In these kind of yes, no, maybe questions, I always fall back to the facts, to the scientific studies, to the stats.

The facts are that close to 50% of women have cheated in a relationship and a little more than 50% of men have cheated.

Your nice girl may be less that 50:50, your slut is probably over 50:50.

Your girl is still 50:50. Watch for the signs, accept that she will probably cheat on you rather than get jealous or stick your head in the sand and trust her implicitly.

If she does cheat, move on to the 50% of the female population that doesn't.

 

[SamePendo]

There is a difference between ¨girl¨ and ¨woman¨

Yes, good girls DO cheat
WOMEN dont.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
In these kind of yes, no, maybe questions, I always fall back to the facts, to the scientific studies, to the stats.

The facts are that close to 50% of women have cheated in a relationship and a little more than 50% of men have cheated.

This is a HUGE fact that we have only briefly touched on in this thread.

It kills me to see how naive a guy is in a relationship in the same way he thinks he's gonna be rich one day by winning the lottery or hitting the jackpot on a quarter slot in Vegas.

You guys need to look at the cold hard facts. You can count on these facts to steer you in the right direction just as knowing (and practicing restraint accordingly) your odds when betting at a casino can keep you from losing your life savings in a weekend.

And all of you who think you are above all of this and are able to spot trouble before it can rear its ugly head...ha! Of course I would LIKE to think that I am smarter than the next guy when it comes to picking a woman who will be faithful for life, but I try to keep my ego in check when it comes to matters such as these. I'll be the first to admit it could happen to me, just like anyone else.

I saw the marriage thread posted by Giovanni Casanova the other day. Explains why he would be the polar opposite of me on this issue. Me trying to justify myself, lol. He's getting ready to take the big plunge and the last thing he wants to hear is even though he's committing to one piece of ass for the next 60 years that his girl has a 50% chance of running off with the pool boy.

I also want to touch on the sad situation many guys are in thinking that just because THEY would never cheat on a girl that they "don't expect her to cheat on me". Doesn't work that way fellas. It doesn't matter if you are 100% committed. The odds of HER cheating on you are still the same.

I'm dead freakin tired right now but I want to address this point further as soon as I get rested up and get some time. 'Til then....

 

[DavenJuan]

Re: clarify

Originally posted by NewMan
The crux of the matter is, that the women that you want in a LTR are not going to cheat - unless you give them a reason. These women are self confident - they no what they want.

It's all about the quality of the woman your with. Nothing is 100% - there are always exceptions to the rules.

im sure im am not the only guy on this board that has been cheated on by a girl who has no "justifiable" reason for doing so. NOt that there IS any reason thats justifiable.

I was with my ex for 6 years and she cheated on me with my best friend for 4 months straight. I never cheated on her and never gave her a reason to cheat on me. of course now, i have major trust issues with women.

Women cheat. i believe women cheat more than men, we just dont go through the hassle that women do to cover it up, therefore it seems that men cheat more.

Think about it, a man gets caught becuase the girl hes cheating with leaves an earring behind, or left her bra stashed some place. a women hardly ever gets caught, she just admits it after the fact. Or a friend tells you.

point is...if you new that you could sleep with some other girl and your girl some how would not get hurt by it or even care, would you do it?? probably.. so if you thought that you would def. not get caught..what would stop her from cheating??

 

[Bill]

STR8UP:

I dunno if you read my post but anyways, would you agree that there is no such thing as a "good girl"? The way I see it, guys call good girls girls they see as being nice, family-loving or "angelic"... your opinion on this?
And about your 50/50 statistics, I believe the numbers are close enough to reality that they're correct. Good last post overall.
Respect.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I saw the marriage thread posted by Giovanni Casanova the other day. Explains why he would be the polar opposite of me on this issue. Me trying to justify myself, lol. He's getting ready to take the big plunge and the last thing he wants to hear is even though he's committing to one piece of ass for the next 60 years that his girl has a 50% chance of running off with the pool boy.

I didn't create a thread called: "Why My Girl Would Never Cheat." YOU created a thread more-or-less to say "The Chick I'm With Can So Be a Good Girl Even Though Our Relationship Began With Her Cheating On Her Boyfriend." And I'll put up the odds of my girl being faithful to me against the odds of your girl being faithful to you, sight unseen, any day.

You want to talk odds? The odds of a girl who has cheated on a guy in the past cheating again on another guy are MUCH HIGHER than the odds of a girl who has never cheated before cheating. You wanna try to wrap your mind around why that might be?

You run a business, right? Would you hire a kid who got fired from his last job because he was stealing money from the till? Wouldn't you say that the ODDS are a lot higher of him stealing from you if he has stolen before? If you had to choose between two potential employees, who were equal in every qualification except that one had never stolen before (to anyone's knowledge) and the other had definitely stolen at his last job, which would you pick? Certainly there's no guarantee that the one who had never stolen before wouldn't steal from you. He might. It's possible. And it isn't written in stone that the kid who had definitely stolen in the past would steal on you. Maybe he wouldn't. But which one would you pick?

See, the girl I'm with, to my knowledge, has never cheated on anyone in the past. Now, I haven't hired a private eye to confirm this, but I believe it's reasonable to believe her unless I have reason to do otherwise. Your girl, on the other hand, has definitely cheated at least once that you know about. As a result, all other things being equal, she's more likely to cheat again.

My posts in this thread were to point out where you were wrong. I've got nothing to prove. You, on the other hand, made a post that seemed to be rationalizing the fact that out of all the girls that are out there, you picked a cheater. You wanted to convince us, but you especially wanted to convince yourself, that your girl could be simultaneously a cheater and a good girl. And at the end of the day... whatever lets you sleep at night.

 

[tiburon]

I agree with Casanova

STR8UP:

You are fool of crap...a decent woman would not cheat on another man if she respects herself. She will brake it of realizing she is unhappy way before she finds another man to go into a relationship. i dont know what is your definition of "good girl" but from my point of vie is more like a good fvck ..or a good slut....Even tough i believe Casanova is so fvcking in love( which i am happy for him) that he might be blinded i agree that a girl that cheated before is way way way more likely to cheat again..therecomes the saying "Cheater Once, Cheater Twice".Casanovas' problem is that he cant prove his girl doesnt fall in this category but he decides to give her the benefit of the doubt and thats is his problem. You on the other hand are whooped if you think your cheating girl is a good girl or wife material.....please wake up..snap out of that sweet pvssy.....
And as a prove you have this post , putting excuses for yourself on why you are going out with a slut...not a DJ's steps you are following...
The only thing i agree with you is that Casanova is crazy and very inlove and the 50 percent chance he has of ruinning his life but we have that and i have writen about his situation enough by now. He is taking the dive and even i would had chose another pool thats his life and he is going to take it anyways..There is only one thing anyone could do..Pray his girl is not a con-artist, and WHISH HIM LUCK>

Tiburon

 

[STR8UP]

YOU created a thread more-or-less to say "The Chick I'm With Can So Be a Good Girl Even Though Our Relationship Began With Her Cheating On Her Boyfriend." And I'll put up the odds of my girl being faithful to me against the odds of your girl being faithful to you, sight unseen, any day.

Gio, Gio, you are missing the point.

What you are saying is that once a girl has proven she is capable of the act of cheating there is a good chance she will do it again. It isn't like breaking the seal and having to piss five times an hour after downing a six pack. It isn't like getting sex from a woman for the first time then it being in the bag from that point on. She doesn't say to herself "Oh well, I've cheated on ONE guy I might as well cheat on all of my future partners cause I'm going to hell anyways". The same societal constraints that keep women from cheating are in full effect regardless of who she is with or how many times she has cheated in the past. And the more cheating points she gathers the worse she will feel about herself and the more likely it is someone else will find out and think badly about her. So what are the chances? Your chances of being cheated on are PRETTY CLOSE to the same as mine, whether you realize it or want to admit it or whatever.

You see all women as fitting into one of two different diametrically opposed groups. You think that whatever percentage of women out there that have cheated in the past are good for nothing tramps. Then you have YOUR girl, who you believe fits into the "I would never consider cheating even if my husband went to prison for life" group. In reality the percentage of good for nothing tramps is very small, AS IS the percentage of "angels". Hell, I would even be willing to stick my neck out by saying that there are FAR MORE "tramps" out there than there are "angels". (Don't get your panties in a bunch ladies, I know it's the same or worse with guys) The rest (most) fall somewhere in between. They have cheated sometime in the past or WOULD cheat if the right opportunity presented itself.

This isn't a black and white issue as you make it out to be. You take for granted that women tell the truth. They lie as much as men do, and when confronted with a question pertaining to their level of sexual activity or promiscuousness a woman would choose clubbing a baby seal over divulging her TRUE secrets. If you could only be a fly on the wall for a day....

Don't you realize that your attitude is precisely what keeps women from telling the truth when it comes to sex? If you found out your girl HAD cheated on someone in the past you would have flagged her from the beginning, AND SHE KNOWS IT. That's why if she did she isn't gonna be walking around carrying a neon sign that says "CHEATER". More than likely she will LIE, and you will never know the difference. But as long as it keeps you happy, that's all that matters, right? What you don't know can't hurt you.

You run a business, right? Would you hire a kid who got fired from his last job because he was stealing money from the till?

I can do a criminal background check to make an ATTEMPT to discern an honest employee from a dishonest one. It recently saved me from hiring a guy with a 16 page rap sheet. It's called due dilligence, and it can prevent problems.

Unfortunately it isn't going to be anywhere close to 100% effective. Most people who steal here and there never get caught. They take only enough to slide under the radar. And they certainly aren't going to disclose the fact that they have sticky fingers on a job app anymore than your chick is going to disclose her past infidelities to you when you ask. Too bad you can't search the "cheating records" at your county courthouse to see if your girl might turn out to be unfaithful! A man has even less of a chance of picking out a cheater from his dates than an employer has of flagging a thief.

This is a great point you bring up. I would venture to guess that the same percentages hold true with thieves as with cheaters. Maybe there are 10% or so who are hardcore criminals, less than 10% who never have and never would steal, and the other 80some% who would steal given the right set of circumstances, such as feeling like they are overworked and underpaid. Sound familiar, anyone?

See, the girl I'm with, to my knowledge, has never cheated on anyone in the past.

Key words: "to my knowledge".

My posts in this thread were to point out where you were wrong.

Too bad for you. Thanks for trying.

Let me ask you something. Why is it that you think most CEO's are hired to head a company?

Could it be, experience? Sure, some might have gained their position by other means, but when it comes down to it most of these guys aren't fresh college grads. They have perspective that the aspiring newbie can only gain from years of experience. They have been around the block a time or two and have the scars to prove it, which makes them infinitely more qualified to sit at the healm of a multimillion dollar company. Same goes with women.

Why are you younger guys so bent on going through the same mistakes us older guys have already had to deal with? I guess it's he same as in business....the only way to learn is to go through it.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Bill
STR8UP:

I dunno if you read my post but anyways, would you agree that there is no such thing as a "good girl"?

We could all debate about what constitutes a good girl all day long but noone would ever agree, so it's pointless. But basically, yes, I would agree.

Most guys put their blinders on when it comes to the facts about how the majority of women really are. They only want to see the angelic facade. Dangerous.

Originally posted by tiburon
You are fool of crap...a decent woman would not cheat on another man if she respects herself.

Uh, yea, I'm the one who is full of crap, lol.

I read your other post that had your laundry list of qualities you require a woman to have. Your fantasy is even worse than most of these guys. You're in for some big disappointments in your life, I'm sorry to say.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Once again, your post is more or less not worth responding to. However, I must point out that you are HIDING from a very direct, straight-to-the-point, simple question I asked you. Perhaps you missed it. As a favor to you, I'll repeat.

Ahem.

You have a position that you need to fill at a store. There are two potential candidates to choose from. They are equal in their qualifications in almost every way, save for one. One of them, to the best of your knowledge, has never stolen from an employer (or anyone else, for that matter) before. The other stole $750 from a cash till at his most recent job, which you know for a FACT. Which one do you hire? Why?

According to your logic, these two are both the same. It's impossible to predict if one of these two is more likely to steal from you in the future. It's even odds, either way. You might as well flip a coin, because both of them are equally likely to steal from you, right?

I say bullsh*t. Odds are much greater that the guy who has stolen in the past will do it again.

But not only would you say that there's no difference in likelihood of theft between the two employees... you say that the THIEF is a GOOD EMPLOYEE!

This is cognitive dissonance at its best. You're going out with a girl who has demonstrated that she will cheat on a boyfriend. Your mind says, "I only date GOOD women!" Cognitive dissonance takes over. "I only date GOOD women; therefore, she must be a GOOD woman!"

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I can do a criminal background check to make an ATTEMPT to discern an honest employee from a dishonest one. It recently saved me from hiring a guy with a 16 page rap sheet. It's called due dilligence, and it can prevent problems.

What problems does it prevent, STR8UP? Why wouldn't you hire a guy with a criminal record?

Most people who steal here and there never get caught. They take only enough to slide under the radar. And they certainly aren't going to disclose the fact that they have sticky fingers on a job app anymore than your chick is going to disclose her past infidelities to you when you ask. Too bad you can't search the "cheating records" at your county courthouse to see if your girl might turn out to be unfaithful! A man has even less of a chance of picking out a cheater from his dates than an employer has of flagging a thief.

Lucky for you, you don't have that problem. You know FOR A FACT that this girl cheated on her boyfriend, you were witness to and party to that event transpiring.

This is a great point you bring up. I would venture to guess that the same percentages hold true with thieves as with cheaters. Maybe there are 10% or so who are hardcore criminals, less than 10% who never have and never would steal, and the other 80some% who would steal given the right set of circumstances

Either you grossly understimate people, or you hang with a really f*cked-up crowd.

Let me ask you something. Why is it that you think most CEO's are hired to head a company?

Could it be, experience? Sure, some might have gained their position by other means, but when it comes down to it most of these guys aren't fresh college grads. They have perspective that the aspiring newbie can only gain from years of experience. They have been around the block a time or two and have the scars to prove it, which makes them infinitely more qualified to sit at the healm of a multimillion dollar company.

This might be a bad example for you to use. The CEO of the company I work for got our company into an accounting scandal, made some unethical business dealings, sank our stock prices by over 80%, and then fled the company with a multi-million dollar severance package.

Why are you younger guys so bent on going through the same mistakes us older guys have already had to deal with?

What is it with your ego? Do you really think that you are some wise sensei or something, the only older adult male role model that anyone on this board has? My dad's been married to my mother for 26 years. My grandparents were married for 53 years before my grandpa died. One of my best friends just celebrated their 15-year wedding anniversary. So I can listen to and learn from them... or I can listen to you because you're 32 and you've f*cked up a few times and you tell me I should listen to you and you speak in a condescending tone as though anyone who hasn't had as many birthdays as you have is somehow inferior. That's not a tough choice for me.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

All women are the same, but have "different" issues. This is a fact, deal with it.


To all the young cats(I'm young too, so this applies to me also), you have to let a woman "prove her worth" before you rule her out of doing anything. You can't just tag 'em(a good girl= women like that when they haven't been tried "through the fire". I don't believe STR8UP is applying not to trust women. But I believe the point that a lot of cats is missing is "innocent until proven guilty" mentality that will save a lot of us young cats the "severe" heartbreaks.

How many of you cats ever had a female tell you these things only to leave you:

* I don't know what I'll do without you!

* I love you so much, I'll never hurt you!

* I can't see myself loving anyoune the way I love you

Sounds famaliar, huh.

The wisdom that is past down is to alert you not scare you. Always give her the chance to prove her worth because only at the finish line of a "good relationship"(death?) would you know if she was the "good woman".

 

[Click Here]

OK half you guys are full of ****.

After i cheated for my first time it opened the flood gates, cheating became less of a big deal and more of a common thing. you figure ****, ive alrdy cheated why not do it again?

And as to the girls replacing u before your gone thing i'll MORE THAN VOUCHE for that. My gf and i dated for almost 2 years and like 2 weeks ago broke up, turns out shes already dating another guy.. when the relationship goes stale if theres another option there more then willing to take the risk.

w/e **** it, LTRS blow in my oppinion now id rather **** every girl i can get my hands on.

 

[Survivor]

Gio, about your analogy. It doesn't really fit STR8UP's scenario.

How does the store owner know what questions to ask each candidate? Does the store owner have the time and money necessary to do thorough background checks?

Point is, stereotypes and rushes to judgement are a reality of the human condition. As a law student you should already know that. No one's going to take time out to scan your resume to see if you're worthy of having sex or a relationship with. Most of what determines that is one's emotional response to the first impression.

When STR8UP saw his ex for the first time, he immediately labeled her a "good" girl. That was his crucial mistake. Had he taken the time to explore her character more, he probably would not have gotten so involved. He did'nt run a "background check" and paid dearly for it by getting his heart broken.

I also have a big problem with your belief of once a cheater always a cheater. If thats true, then Allen might as well shut the site down cause according to that line of thinking, we will always be "AFCs".

Lesson Learned is to not be a sucka, yet at the same time be somewhat open-minded as to the content of one's character before entering into a serious relationship.