Yes, good girls DO cheat

[NewMan]

clarify

The crux of the matter is, that the women that you want in a LTR are not going to cheat - unless you give them a reason. These women are self confident - they no what they want.

It's all about the quality of the woman your with. Nothing is 100% - there are always exceptions to the rules.

 

[Ar7]

Re: agree

WOW so much stuff to read here...

I agree that not all women cheat, same applies to men.

However I believe STR8UP was trying to point out the difference when men do cheat and when women do cheat.

As long as cheating is concerned, when woman do cheat, they tend to be more subtle about it, usually staying clear technically from the cheater zone, nevertheless doing their deed.

I don't want to add anymore fuel to the burning post, so I ll leave it at that.

 

[STR8UP]

This is one of those few areas where there IS a right and there IS a wrong. You don't "kinda" cheat on someone. You either do, or you don't. You need to communicate with your significant other what each of you considers cheating.

Hahaha, yea, I can see myself saying to a girl "Alright honey, before we go any further we need to establish the rules of fair play when it comes to cheating. It is acceptable to spend time with another man that you would love to fukk, so long as you don't pet him, kiss him, give him head, or fukk him unless you break up with me first. Do we have an understanding?"

What you are telling me is that it would be less of a blow to your ego if your chick didn't formally do the deed until after she dumps you. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference WHAT she does or doesn't do. The relationship is gonna end or it isn't. You are either going to be with her or not.

I had a girlfriend one time that was fooling around with someone else. I asked for the details, which she gave (I have no idea if it was the whole truth, but that doesn't matter). After it was all said and done I stayed with her because she said she didn't have sex with him. I should have had my head examined.....she obviously didn't want to be with me, so why did I let a technicality or interpretation keep me from dumping her ass? I don't know, but I wouldn't let it happen today. If she wants to be with someone else, fine. She's gonna be set free to explore her options.

Bull. Women who cannot stand being alone for long periods of time are emotional ****ups. I am perfectly happy being single for extended periods of time, keeps $hit in perspective. And whoever said that women with boyfriends should be classed as unavailable is right on the damn money. Have some respect for your fellow man.

You know what, come to think of it I CAN think of one girl that I used to be interested in that has been single ever since I met her over a year ago. Never seen her with a guy, heard her talk about a guy (other than the cute ones at her gym), anything. If you ask me she isn't being picky, she just isn't as socially skilled as most women. I honestly don't think she knows what to do. I can't think of any other woman that I would consider dating that has been single for more than a couple of months.

And I hate to point out again what another poster said and I take to be a given, but dating is all about finding out IF you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. That's the time to get it all out of your system.

As for having respect for my fellow man, lets just say I respect noone until they've earned it. If we're talking about my buddy's girl...that's a different story, but I have no more problem taking a girl from a guy than I do separating an inexperienced investor from his hard earned money. Noone shows an ounce of pity for me. The second they let me write the rulebook of life and everyone else follows it I will change my tune. Until then life isn't always fair.....get used to it.

how the worm has turned. You said clearly that you never wanted this girl(or any woman) for a LTR, and now you're saying that if it happens great. You and her boyfriend are being kept on short leashes and when push comes to F**k, you have a 50% chance of getting your heart stomped on. The little snake had you wrapped around your little finger faster than you could've blinked. You've been taken in by her little "good girl" act and you're comfortable with that?

If I did say that in those words (I don't think I did) it was simply my "I don't know her yet" shield. I didn't know whether or not I liked her in the beginning, but as I have gotten to know her I see alot that I like. Whatever...like I said, if I should feel the need to justify my actions it certianly wouldn't be here.

And you have it all wrong about me being wrapped around her little finger. BELIEVE ME if anything it's the other way around.

I agree with the principle of what you're saying I do. It actually doesn't come down to good or bad girls cheating. Real women don't cheat. So dont give them a reason to.

Hmmm. Real women don't cheat, so don't give them a reason to? If real women don't cheat it shouldn't matter what I do.

 

[( . )( . )]

STR8UP listen up, hey that rhymes.
your points are spot on, your a man who knows his sh1t.
there is no need to defend what you say .
I just realised the guys who say "not all girls will cheat" know deep down that they will, and are actually trying to tell themselves they wont.

Ive yet to meet a chick who didnt have some sort of handle on the next branch, whether it be fvcking to a love letter to a sexy smile at the next hopeful.
BUT you guys think that this is something bad, this is where you go wrong, its just the way she is.
and i dont blame them in anyway, i actually admire them now for this.
and it actually reminds me just how different the sexes are, and our minds work.

I enjoy the fact a HB can be with her oblivious borefriend and be sizing me up at the same time.

women tend to keep there options open in a relationship, where guys seem to close up.

 

[sAxyguy83]

My take on things is: If you keep her happy, satisfy her needs, treat her well, and stay faithful, she'll do the same towards you. Granted, I'm talking about LTRs, not f**k buddies. When a girl cheats on you, either you haven't been up to snuff, or she's too dumb or f**ked-up to realize how good she's got it already. Either way, the relationship is headed towards somebody getting the NEXT.

 

[Slickster]

STR8UP

Remember way back when we were arguing about your gf cheating on her BF. That's when you started this thread. Remember?

Did you ever think it was going to turn into this monster?

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Wow, this post has lasted a long time and had so many people throwing in their 2 cents! I'm going to have to go with the women always looking for a higher branch theory. Yep, that's right a HIGHER branch. Translation: They are always looking for someone 'better'. (funny how the 'better' guy they hardly evenknow.) I can honestly say that when i enter into a relationship with a girl, cheating doesn't even come to mind. But every girl i've dated either cheated on me, lied to me about it, or had a guy within a week of breaking up with me. My friends have had one of the 3 happen to them as well.

Now with that fact, do we care about it? I mean I have a girl who's been dating a guy for 2 years flirting with me like crazy should I be the 'morale' one?

I think the biggest reason this post has lasted so long is that a lot of us have been hurt when we found out that after a girl broke up with us they were seeing someone else the next day. That you weren't special. That she treats him just like she did you and is just as 'sincere' as she was with you. A lot of pain comes from these realizations. It makes me wonder if all women are this two faced? ....yep, probably. A real woman? Never heard of one.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
I have to agree with (.)(.). Marriage is not the ultimate success fellas... it is disaster. You willing to bet $100,000s on your marriage succeeding? That is all it is, a 50/50 bet. Bad odds boys.

I can tell you many girls will cheat. Married ones too. Even while I was married I had women tell me they wanted to sleep with me. Not many but enough to give me pause. Most were drunk so marry a non-drinker if you have to...

Don't get married. Marriage= Lifetime AFC. There is no other way to define it.

Dietzcoi

Well while I haven't been married I have to disagree here. I want to have children - and when I have children I want to be a good father and raise my children correctly. Now part of that will mean having a wife who can be a wonderful, loving mother.
I truly believe that part of raising children the right way involves providing a stable and loving home.
I do agree- marriage is a gamble - there are no guarantees - but sometimes in life you have to be telling to take risks to get what you want.

 

[ShortyBrown]

I can't think of any other woman that I would consider dating that has been single for more than a couple of months.

Does that make women who have lives that don't revolve around getting a man socially inept in your eyes? please clarify.

As for having respect for my fellow man, lets just say I respect noone until they've earned it. If we're talking about my buddy's girl...that's a different story, but I have no more problem taking a girl from a guy than I do separating an inexperienced investor from his hard earned money

go ahead and be ruthless about it if it works for you. when it happens to you (and it will), please spare us the details.

If I did say that in those words (I don't think I did) it was simply my "I don't know her yet" shield. I didn't know whether or not I liked her in the beginning, but as I have gotten to know her I see alot that I like. Whatever...like I said, if I should feel the need to justify my actions it certianly wouldn't be here.

You've spent a lot of time seeking props for getting this girl from everyone here. Same difference in my eyes.

Noone shows an ounce of pity for me. The second they let me write the rulebook of life and everyone else follows it I will change my tune. Until then life isn't always fair.....get used to it.

Why lower yourself to that mentality? you strike me as a bright spark. Beat your own drum.

Hmmm. Real women don't cheat, so don't give them a reason to? If real women don't cheat it shouldn't matter what I do.

point taken. I didn't articulate myself there. If you're in tune with your gal and are prepared to give and take, she'll never leave basically.

 

[ShortyBrown]

Now with that fact, do we care about it? I mean I have a girl who's been dating a guy for 2 years flirting with me like crazy should I be the 'morale' one?

If you want $luts like this then no you shouldn't. take her home and screw her silly. Thats all a woman like that is good for. If you want a decent girl, you should find one without a boyfriend.

I think the biggest reason this post has lasted so long is that a lot of us have been hurt when we found out that after a girl broke up with us they were seeing someone else the next day. That you weren't special. That she treats him just like she did you and is just as 'sincere' as she was with you. A lot of pain comes from these realizations. It makes me wonder if all women are this two faced? ....yep, probably. A real woman? Never heard of one.

These are the kinds of women without the emotional maturity and the empathy to realise what they are doing. Again, shag 'em and dump 'em. And do every other decent bloke a public service and let them know who these girls are.

 

[sAxyguy83]

I will concede this point - almost any woman (can never say ALL about such things, you do get a headcase once in a while) will cheat and/or leave you for another guy. For the shallow girls, b****es, wh0res, etc., this happens easily, as they get bored with any given guy very quickly. Then there are the sadistic ultra-b****es, who enjoy jerking a guy around, getting him emotionally invested, then dropping him simply to hurt him. Watch out for any of the types above, and don't get emotionally involved with any of them.

A high-quality girl, however, will usually only leave you or cheat on you if the relationship is already on the downslide in some way. Sometimes, they get f**ked up in the head, and decide after a long time that they were mistaken about being in love, but I don't think this is the majority of cases. Most cases I see, if a girl cheats or leaves for another guy, either she's of one of the types described above, or her bf hasn't been keeping up his end of the relationship.

I suspect from a lot of people's posts that they got burned by the sadistic ultra-b**** type. Others sound like they're trying to rationalize so they won't feel bad about gf-stealing. The former, I wouldn't wish that on anybody less heinous than the male equivalent. The latter, if you can charm her away, she's probably not worth it.

 

[iqqi]

I really do feel sorry for you in a way, if you haven't ever met a good-looking girl who has a lot of things going for her who can bear to be single. I've met many such girls, who choose to be single because they want to just date and not be in a committed relationship until they find someone they think is good for them.

I have been single for two years. I will not even get into a relationship with a man who I don't think I could be happy with-what is the point? I do not need a relationship to be a complete person. And I can be bad by myself.

If you ask me she isn't being picky, she just isn't as socially skilled as most women.

Refer to above. And I am very "socially skilled". I know "just what to do".


I am using myself to prove a point. NO. All girls do not cheat. I am a girl. I do not cheat. Argument over! Yay!

Although. I will say that part of the reason I am so single is the same reason you would be too if you were willing to wait for a woman who is a "good girl". Alot of them ARE how you claim all women are. It is the same with men.

Almost everything you can say about women can be said about men. It really is universal, and I think Pook had a great point when he said that you project yourself onto the other sex. Maybe you think all women cheat for the reasons you gave, because you would cheat for the reasons you gave. Hmmm?

 

[es_mer8]

The way I see it is that all girls cheat. It just goes by how strong their willpower is. Will it take them a lot before they cheat? Or will it just be another man saying the right words to get her in the sack even if she is in a relationship.

 

[NewMan]

does it matter?

Look - does all of this really matter?

What we are trying to do is rationalize, or even put rules on something that you just can't quantify.

Men or woman can cheat on their partner - LTR or not. And men and women cheat in the same way. We all - to one extent or the other - are looking out for cool girls - and if we see one we know we are going to initiate convo, be charming, smart.... why would we expect women to be any different? They are the same why when they see a good looking or charming guy. Now the difference is what do you do about this person? Do you pursue them? or do you put up that barrier because you have someone?

There are way to many parameters to figure it all out. And you know what, it's probably better that we can't. Thats why love, and being in love is so good - to be so in love that you will forgo any other woman ro man for the person you are with.... I think it's a great thing.

The fact is, there is so much to lose (breaking up losing the one you love) - but without the huge risk, the reward would not be as good....

 

[iqqi]

you know how thay say that when one person starts irrationally accusing their partner of cheating it is because thay themselves are?

I think that the men on here who cheat, think all women also cheat.

and the men on here who know they don't cheat, know that not all women cheat.

i do not cheat. and i believe that all men do not cheat. and that is who i want and will wait for.

 

[Helter Skelter]

New Man

Love?

You don't see that word on this forum very often.

What a surprise.

 

[NewMan]

Love....

Helter S.....

I know that some of the people on here are just looking to get more chicks - and thats great. If that the case, cheating shouldn't be something htey are to concerned with.

I think the ulitmate goal - for me anyway - is to find that one person who I can spend the rest of my life with. After recently getting out of an LTR, I'm looking to meet chicks and to figure out whats out there for me. I want someone to Love and to Love me. Thats my goal here (and I hope I go through lots of chicks to find that ) - But there it is.

Not everyone is in the same place.

 

[BGMan]

I said before, that if a girl says "my boyfriend", you should cut and run.

Only problem is, there has only been ONE girl who I have found who has seemed interested since she first saw me, two years ago. Because she kept a barrier up (mostly) for a year and a half, I LJBF'ed her and played Ganji games for a half year. Finally, this summer she took the initiative to set up dates with me, and we have heavy chemistry, as well as getting along amazingly well.

The fly in the ointment? During my Ganji phase I found from a third party that she had a boyfriend. That would explain the barrier she kept throwing up before, and now the barrier has softened from not getting together with me at all, to no making out (of course, this brings up the danger of Friends Zone, so I make sure she struggles for my time). She has never mentioned having a boyfriend; although she dropped his name once to her roommate in my presence, it was in a context that if I hadn't been informed previously by the third party I would have thought it was the name of just another male friend. What would be moral in THIS situation? I dunno. I'm just playing it cool, and if she decides to leave her boyfriend for me, fine; if not, well, I'll be leaving this town for grad school next year, so it won't matter too much.

I'm quite frustrated that I have found no other women in the meantime. Of those whose numbers I've gotten, two admitted having borefriends over the phone, which tells me that I should swear off sorority chicks. A couple of others kept making excuses after the first date, and I disqualified a couple others for getting either too wierdly clingy, or disrespectful behavior. The only prospect I've made any headway with is this girl with a borefriend. I'm always on the lookout though...

BGMan

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by iqqi

Almost everything you can say about women can be said about men. It really is universal,

I completely disagree with this. There are some very fundamental differences between men and women (other than the obvious physical differences). It is because of these differences and the obvious inability of the sexes to understand each other that boards like this exist in the first place.

Originally posted by NewMan

There are way to many parameters to figure it all out. And you know what, it's probably better that we can't. Thats why love, and being in love is so good - to be so in love that you will forgo any other woman ro man for the person you are with.... I think it's a great thing.

Yes your point about too many parameters is very, very true - BUT you can say that about just about anything in this life. Will the stock market go up or down tomorrow? - well in all honesty there are too many parameters to really know for sure but that doesn't stop hundreds of analysts from trying to answer that question. What is the true nature of our universe? Well there are obviously way too many parameters for our meager minds to ever be able to answer that question but that doesn't stop all of the physicists in the world from trying.
In trying we hope that we can uncover new answers - hell that was the point to this thread in the first place.

Personally, I have to admit that I have been saddened recently - I used to be upset about the fact that I had trouble getting women. Now I am saddened by the fact that I can now get women but I honestly feel that most women aren't worth much.

NewMan - your feelings about being in love - I used to think that way - but not anymore. The truth is that love is just an illusion - just like so may other illusions (or delusions) that people have.

 

[NewMan]

can't agree

I think we've covered all possibilites. But you know what really matters is your choice of woman. the kind of woman you end up with. Most people settle - and thats part of the problem.\

In out society today, it's much easier for people to cheat - you have to find that special person. And thats the quest.

I cheated on my last girlfriend - I will never cheat in a commited relationship again - it's the worse thing you can do to a person.

Ronin - your wrong - there are patterns in the stock market - cyclical stocks for example. Bonds for example. Anything man made has CERTAIN patterns. They are there you just have to look for them

You will find a woman that is worth it. Don't comprimise and keep looking. I found and lost one. My mistake, a big one. I'll probably never find someone like that again - Fvck.

I'm sorry that you feel like that about love. Love is awesome. Giving your whole being to someone - to trust someone with everything you have, and have them trust you - is just something so special. It makes you feel like nothing else. It's out there my firend.