Charlie said:
Latinoman - I'm 31.
As for your points. Did the mother of your children get pregnant by accident or was it planned? If it was planned then she was emotionally ready to have children and you also choose this woman to have kids with. It's different!
Birth control children. No planned...but I did not mind.
Also in some cultures 20 can be very mature, others especially the west, a 20 year old still acts and is treated as a child (in the US a 20 year old can't even drink). Most (not all) 23 year olds aren't mature enough to have their lives totally changed by a new baby and a shot gun wedding.
For the record...the mother of my kids is white and from the U.S. Born and raised in the U.S. I was in an inter-racial relationship.
It's understandable that after the birth and new baby the excitement has worn off that the "normality and boredom" of normal married family life is getting to her. This monatomy will have come as a surprise to her and it's this that she wants to be free off.
No excuses. She is a mother now. She could have gotten an abortion...or protection. She did not. She did not even have to marry.
With kids the guy's life never changes as much, he's still going to work etc and on a minute by minute basis it isn't much different
Really? My life changed COMPLETELY. Now I was responsible for children and my decisions had to consider them. Also, unlike what some people think...men do contribute toward the children's life.
however she's stuck with the kid every minute of every day with no adult company.
Maybe she should get a job.
For a 23 year old who has friends out partying with lives that's tough.
What's her choice. She MARRIED (no one forced her) and she decided to have the child (no one forced her). Now she has to be accountable and face the consequences. It is life.
As for what you do and what you don't expect or tolerate. Well, It's too late for that, there is a kid involved and it's not the right thing to simply up and leave just because his wife is showing some bad behaviour.
Hmmmm...no one is asking him to leave his child. LOT of men have custody of their children.
That's the problem with modern life, everyone is selfish and only thinking of themselves.
What about women going partying, getting drunk, and sleeping in other men's homes...while leaving their babies to their husbands care? If anything, THAT's what is wrong with today's "modern life". It amazes me how you justify THAT behavior...but go against him protecting himself and his child.
If he leaves then his kid is going to be scarred for life
Mine are NOT scarred...and I left. In fact, mine are doing just great.
and for what, because his wife was a wee bit overwhelmed and needed away for a night.
Away to the movies with her girlfriends or for dinner with the girlfriends is ONE thing. Aways, getting DRUNK and SLEEPING in ANOTHER man's house...and doing that out of anger is another.
Offcourse he CAN do anything he wants, however his actions have an effect on society
Society is NOT going to give him $$$ to pay for child support and alimony.
and if he does this then I've every right to call him a **** because his action have an effect on my life and my happiness.
And I have a right to call you
AFC (unless you are a woman).
As Chris Rock says.
"You have to get yourself home to your kids so in 20 years they don't grown up and rob me"
He does NOT have to abandon his kids.
As for woman loving their husbands and then cheating on them. That's BS, women are different than men
Hmmmmm...rocket science discovery.
and when did you start believing in what women say.
That's the point we are trying to make to DJ_Traveller.
She's ****ing you so therefore she doesn't love her husband, it's that simple.
This guy's wife...LIES to him. Leaves him home ALONE with the baby, while she goes bar hopping and grinding with a man from her class...gets drunk...sleeps at this man's place (noting that he lives only two miles away from DJ_Traveller)...and then shows up at 5 AM...literally telling DJ_Traveller that she is angry at him (the same DJ_Traveller that is up feeding the baby). And you come in here and justify her DISGRACEFUL action?
The reason why she said it because ironically she didn't want to appear heartless. I suspect most wives don't love their husband and that's why there's so much infedelity - most women simply settle because the desirable men don't commit.
Actually...the ones doing the settling are the men. Men ask women to married them.
I know what you are trying to say and I agree he needs to watch out for this and even log her behaviour (due to our lovely neutral courts) however this conversation like all the rest on SoSuave degenerates into "She should be perfect. I could only go with a woman who's perfect. Womena are all *****s" when all the guys are the furthest from perfect themselves. At the end of the day we're all inperfect, sometimes in life we need to let things slide and try to understand why we and others make mistakes so that we can improve.
Dude...no offense, but getting angry and deciding to DECEIVE her husband with a bunch of lies...then go to a bar with a MAN that he does not even know...and then get drunk...and sleep in that other MAN's home...and showing up at 5 AM (while her husband is feeding the baby) and gives that husband a hard time...that is UNexcusable. The fact that she does NOT work and he is supporting her while she goes to school is more than enough for her to even feel graceful.
The relationships that go through these early hardships can be the more rewarding in the long term. You can argue if you will that it's because each party has invested more in them so they don't want to waste that investment or that by accepting someone's imperfections allows them to accept you, warts and all too. Who knows but I suspect the answer someone gives says alot about them.
So...the guy works late everyday to support his family. He married the girl after the pregnancy...he is supporting the baby and her...she does NOT have to work, instead she goes to school and watch the baby.
In my eyes, this dude is WONDERFUL.
Now...do you think she would be able to finish her college if he would have NEVER married her? She should show appreciation as he did NOT have to marry her.
