I went to see a female divorce attorney that a friend recommended and she told me I have more than enough evidence already, that most people don't have as much evidence as I do, and that based on her experience my wife's behavior won't change so a divorce is a question of when rather than if. I asked about hiring a PI to get more evidence and she asked, "why"?
I also went to see a female marriage counselor with my wife just to see what she had to say. That's when I confronted my wife about a local hotel on our CC statement from last year and she tried to say that she went to stay there after we got into an argument, but that she left right away when I called her and asked her to come home. She never left the house for more than an hour, and if she did it was because she didn't want to talk about getting caught cheating. She never told me that she got a hotel one night, and if she really left right away I don't understand why she wouldn't have asked for a refund. I may try to call the CC company or go to the hotel and inquire what time the charge was made. That would definitely be the nail in the coffin for any divorce case, as I know she met the guy at a hotel over the summer, so it would show a pattern of behavior.
Anyways, the marriage counselor tried to say that she could save our marriage, but that it would take 6 months of hard work. She tried to tell my wife that she wasn't a bad person, and that she should stop beating herself up over what happened. A few times I was trying to tell my version of what happened, and the marriage counselor cut me off and said, "what's your point?" I went to the session just to have someone else tell us the marriage was and my wife should face the reality of what she's done, but instead the counselor gave her false hope. I also just wanted my story to be heard and have my feelings acknowledged, but it was as if the counselor felt my wife didn't do anything wrong. Needless to say I'm not going back.
I guess what really bothers me is what has happened to the institution of marriage over the last few decades. My grandparents married at 20 and they were together over 70 years before one of them passed away. My parents were married 60+ years before one of them died. They had times when things weren't great, but they always worked it out. Nowadays people are so selfish and they do whatever feels good at the moment, and if the marriage is trashed as a consequence, then they just start over again. It's disgusting and it makes me regret ever marrying.
If and when I do leave I'm pretty much planning on staying single the rest of my life. I figure that the dating pool if women in their 40s is probably filled with ones just like my wife, i.e. they have mental health issues, no morals, etc. I've known other guys to jump out of the pan and into the fire with another woman, and that's the last thing I want. I'm sure my wife will go on a fvcking spree, but she's never going to find a man to commit to her since she''s over 50, will have been divorced twice, and has a disabled child. My SMV is way higher than hers, even though she makes more money.