Why No Contact is your Only Option after a Breakup

[Jariel]

You must see that every bit of it was your fault. Your responsibility. Every single day you made choices and those choices were with her I. The fundamental framework of your thinking. Those choices belong to you. Blaming her is your trap. If you don’t get out of it, congratulations, you will have a wasted life behind you.

I'm with you on this. A woman can't use, abuse or cheat on a guy unless he allows her to. Yes she might be a horrible excuse for a human being and that's on her, but if he refused to walk away that's entirely on him.

Too many people seek scapegoats for their problems and blame others for their own failures. Unless we take responsibility we can never learn or grow and will continue assuming the victim role and making the same mistakes.

 

[Jariel]

If you get into a committed and invested LTR, then you are placing your trust in a woman. The problem with this is that women are capricious and can change their mind about you in a second. This change is swift, cold and insect-like in its brutality. You are only as good as your last moment with her. Your history together means nothing to her if she is not feeling it "in the moment" with you. This is Nature, and Nature is a cold and selfish machine of survival. Nature is not sentimental. Men are sentimental and romantic and this is our downfall. Men don't want to believe it and they only truly learn through pain and suffering.

This is the biggest mistake guys make when getting into LTRs in this modern era. Men deceive themselves, become complacent, and the rug is pulled. Failing to appreciate how dark and ruthless women are is the fault of men, indeed.

So true and brilliantly put. Many of my past girlfriends appeared loving, affectionate and attentive to me for the majority of the relationship. We would have big arguments because I messaged other girls or liked an Instagram pic, or was a bit of a **** to her, but they always forgave me. But as soon as I started to go through difficult times or lose my edge, I've seen them turn cold, resentful and critical. Sometimes quite malicious.

I've never had a woman stand by me through tough times.

But the fact that women are repulsed by weakness is not a conscious choice and I accept that. I can't change that about them, rewire their unconscious mind or reprogram their DNA, but I can take responsibility for myself, stop building expectations and be realistic about the darker side of their nature.

 

[mikey2012]

What jf you got dumped because you neglected her and maybe she moved on to someone else ?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What jf you got dumped because you neglected her and maybe she moved on to someone else ?

I'm sure SHE would want you to realise your mistake and start courting her again to win her back.

Then again, I'm a firm believer in giving people what they need, not what they want.

Breakups happen, but not out of the blue. Both parties need time apart to understand where they failed fixing things when they were together. Relationships require both parties to invest time and effort and energy is keeping the relationship healthy. Breaking up is a sign that at least one party feels that the relationship is beyond fixing.

 

[SW15]

No Contact is NOT to get your ex back. Usually it doesn't lead to that. No Contact is to help yourself get over her. If you are using it to get the ex back you can almost be assured it is going to backfire and blow up in your face in the worst way possible.

This is a very important thing to remember. No Contact is useful for you as a man to move forward with your life and focus on the next woman in your life.

There's a reason that a woman is an ex. It's important to realize why the relationship failed and move on from it. Some self-improvement might be necessary to keep a negative pattern from repeating.

Most of the time when your ex reaches out to you after a breakup it is generally only for validation.

I agree with this statement as a large percentage of modern women seem to crave validation. This is the case in childless breakups.

In thinking about breakups, it's unfortunate when a breakup happens after a couple has had a child/children together. The breaking up couple will need to have contact with each other for co-parenting purposes. That contact makes it far more difficult to get over the breakup.

Some men might choose to cease contact with their ex and not parent because the woman is so unpleasant in interactions. Most men don't tend to do this as most men want to interact with their child.

Co-parenting does not end when the children turn 18/graduate high school either. After that point, the legal adult children have birthdays, graduations (if they pursue education beyond high school) and holiday season gatherings. That forces contact with an ex. Additionally, many adult children will run into life problems during 18-29 that will require co-parenting coordination. The adult child might need financial help due to not being able to find a job after college graduation or needs help after a layoff. This adult child might need to live with one of the parents due to those aforementioned situations. Since the early 2000s, Millennial and Gen Z young adults have needed more help from parents since turning 18 as compared to young adults in the 20th Century. All these events extend contact between exes and doesn't help with moving on.

My ex had reached out this past Tuesday after 3 months of No Contact (we broke up about 3.5 months ago after a 2.5 year LTR).

I broke up with my ex but it was because I could see the writing on the wall. She was slowly withdrawing. I beat her to the punch....There’s a reason a breakup occurs and you aren’t going to change reality even if they come back for a (short) period of time.

This was written in March 2021. It seems like the timing of the breakup was in late 2020. 2020 was a year that caused a lot of non-marital relationships to end and also caused a lot of marriages to end.

2020 and 2021 were stressful years in the mating environment due to the pandemic. In 2020, a lot of men lost their jobs and male job loss commonly leads to breakups because male SMV is tied to money/employment. Female job loss means nothing for SMV.

Indoor masking made approaching in 2020 and 2021 very difficult. Outdoor approaching became the most viable way to meet new women in 2020 and 2021 after a failed relationship. In 2022, indoor masking seemed to fade away as that year went on, allowing for a rebound in both bar approaching and in non-bar approaching in places like grocery stores and indoor malls.

 

[mikey2012]

I'm sure SHE would want you to realise your mistake and start courting her again to win her back.

Then again, I'm a firm believer in giving people what they need, not what they want.

Breakups happen, but not out of the blue. Both parties need time apart to understand where they failed fixing things when they were together. Relationships require both parties to invest time and effort and energy is keeping the relationship healthy. Breaking up is a sign that at least one party feels that the relationship is beyond fixing.

If one started courting to win her back, doesn't it mean the power dynamic has now changed to her and now one is in a position of weakness if the relationship were to start again? Previously she was the one initiating and declaring her "love". Also do you continue to no contact until she reaches out? Or is it over since the last interaction she rejected a meet up? I assume another guy is in the picture but she didn't explicitly say but got very angry when i pressed the issue of meeting up and now gone silent.

 

[Barrister]

This is a very important thing to remember. No Contact is useful for you as a man to move forward with your life and focus on the next woman in your life.

There's a reason that a woman is an ex. It's important to realize why the relationship failed and move on from it. Some self-improvement might be necessary to keep a negative pattern from repeating.



I agree with this statement as a large percentage of modern women seem to crave validation. This is the case in childless breakups.

This was written in March 2021. It seems like the timing of the breakup was in late 2020. 2020 was a year that caused a lot of non-marital relationships to end and also caused a lot of marriages to end.

2020 and 2021 were stressful years in the mating environment due to the pandemic. In 2020, a lot of men lost their jobs and male job loss commonly leads to breakups because male SMV is tied to money/employment. Female job loss means nothing for SMV.

Indoor masking made approaching in 2020 and 2021 very difficult. Outdoor approaching became the most viable way to meet new women in 2020 and 2021 after a failed relationship. In 2022, indoor masking seemed to fade away as that year went on, allowing for a rebound in both bar approaching and in non-bar approaching in places like grocery stores and indoor malls.

It’s funny reading these posts in this thread right now as I have come full circle since then and currently getting ready for another LTR split almost 3 years later on the dot.

This breakup was Dec 2020. It actually had little to do with COVID as she and I had been struggling for some time and wasn’t because of the masks but was more about her constantly testing my leadership in the relationship. She was also a lawyer like me and she was very career oriented. This can be a good thing in some ways but was a bad thing in others.

That said - the original point is still true to this day. Don’t use No Context “to win the ex back.” It’s a losing battle and as soon as she reaches out and you capitulate you have given her all the power back. No contact means no contact.

 

[SW15]

It’s funny reading these posts in this thread right now as I have come full circle since then and currently getting ready for another LTR split almost 3 years later on the dot.

You might be living proof of my "relationships have a shelf life of goodness of 3-5 years" idea that I promote a lot on this forum.

This breakup was Dec 2020. It actually had little to do with COVID as she and I had been struggling for some time and wasn’t because of the masks but was more about her constantly testing my leadership in the relationship. She was also a lawyer like me and she was very career oriented. This can be a good thing in some ways but was a bad thing in others.

I am amazed that you were able to date a lawyer for 2+ years. The last time I went on one date with a lawyer, I regretted it. My last date with a lawyer had no consequences other than one unpleasant evening. Female lawyers often possess personality traits that are not good in romantic interactions. A lot of the best looking women don't become lawyers because they aren't interested in getting an advanced degree and working longer hours. That said, there are Cute range women (slightly to somewhat above average) that become lawyers. There are female lawyers that can accessorize well and present well. Higher incomes can help them get a nicer wardrobe and do some other things to make themselves look better.

In general, I would rather date a paralegal than a lawyer. Paralegals (almost always female) are more likely to have more feminine traits and they don't work as many hours.

Your breakup in December 2020 likely would have happened in the world of 2016-2019 too. You acknowledged that and I agree with it.

Indoor masking in 2020-2021 made it more difficult to find new women after a breakup. That likely made a lot of men want to return to an ex as compared to finding new women in a more difficult environment. Online dating didn't fully solve that problem because there had to be some public dates. Some guys were able to get home dates immediately off of swipe apps and social media DMs but that was less common.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It’s funny reading these posts in this thread right now as I have come full circle since then and currently getting ready for another LTR split almost 3 years later on the dot.

This breakup was Dec 2020. It actually had little to do with COVID as she and I had been struggling for some time and wasn’t because of the masks but was more about her constantly testing my leadership in the relationship. She was also a lawyer like me and she was very career oriented. This can be a good thing in some ways but was a bad thing in others.

That said - the original point is still true to this day. Don’t use No Context “to win the ex back.” It’s a losing battle and as soon as she reaches out and you capitulate you have given her all the power back. No contact means no contact.

Many couples and marriages broke up and ended in divorce during the pandemic. It was bizarre.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If one started courting to win her back, doesn't it mean the power dynamic has now changed to her and now one is in a position of weakness if the relationship were to start again?

Unless you are able to manipulate her in pursuing you again, she will become the dominant in the power dynamic.

Also do you continue to no contact until she reaches out? Or is it over since the last interaction she rejected a meet up? I assume another guy is in the picture but she didn't explicitly say but got very angry when i pressed the issue of meeting up and now gone silent.

I never take anyone back. I don't break up on a whim. And a woman who breaks up with me on a whim isn't worthy of my time.

You don't go No Contact as a strategy to 'win her back'. The relationship is over. You have to put her out of your mind while you recuperate, deal with your guilt/self-loathing over any mistakes you made, learn from failure, and find another woman to try a relationship with.

 

[Barrister]

You might be living proof of my "relationships have a shelf life of goodness of 3-5 years" idea that I promote a lot on this forum.



I am amazed that you were able to date a lawyer for 2+ years. The last time I went on one date with a lawyer, I regretted it. My last date with a lawyer had no consequences other than one unpleasant evening. Female lawyers often possess personality traits that are not good in romantic interactions. A lot of the best looking women don't become lawyers because they aren't interested in getting an advanced degree and working longer hours. That said, there are Cute range women (slightly to somewhat above average) that become lawyers. There are female lawyers that can accessorize well and present well. Higher incomes can help them get a nicer wardrobe and do some other things to make themselves look better.

In general, I would rather date a paralegal than a lawyer. Paralegals (almost always female) are more likely to have more feminine traits and they don't work as many hours.

Your breakup in December 2020 likely would have happened in the world of 2016-2019 too. You acknowledged that and I agree with it.

Indoor masking in 2020-2021 made it more difficult to find new women after a breakup. That likely made a lot of men want to return to an ex as compared to finding new women in a more difficult environment. Online dating didn't fully solve that problem because there had to be some public dates. Some guys were able to get home dates immediately off of swipe apps and social media DMs but that was less common.

First, as I am now getting ready to exit what is a 3 year LTR (the one following dating this lawyer we are discussing), I would tend to agree with you on the fact that relationships seem to have that "good" shelf life of 3-5 years. I certainly think you can extend it with the right woman for longer than that, but it is extremely difficult and requires just the right amount of intelligence on her part balanced with her willingness to fall in line and let the man lead.

As for lawyers, I would also agree. The lawyer I dated was easily a HB 8.5 at the time and not your standard female lawyer (most of whom are physically sub HB 6). They tend to have masculine traits and "want to wear the pants" and are hyper-opinionated. However, the LTR I am just getting out of was with a woman on the surface who I would never have guessed would also begin to act the way she did. I think it is one of those things where you never really know. All you can do as a man is exit a relationship when it has become untenable to stay and not become a chump who turns into a doormat "just to get along for the kids" or something like that. Not worth it to your emotional well-being and she will lose all respect for you.

 

[SW15]

First, as I am now getting ready to exit what is a 3 year LTR (the one following dating this lawyer we are discussing), I would tend to agree with you on the fact that relationships seem to have that "good" shelf life of 3-5 years.

Thank you. There's a lot of value in that "good" shelf life idea that I promote.

I certainly think you can extend it with the right woman for longer than that, but it is extremely difficult and requires just the right amount of intelligence on her part balanced with her willingness to fall in line and let the man lead.

I agree with all of this. A relationship can be good beyond 5 years but it's going to be challenging to achieve as you describe.

Most relationships that have gone beyond 5 years are in a decayed state and aren't experiencing what you are describing.

The lawyer I dated was easily a HB 8.5 at the time and not your standard female lawyer (most of whom are physically sub HB 6). They tend to have masculine traits and "want to wear the pants" and are hyper-opinionated.

The female lawyer's well above average looks are what got you initially attracted. It can be challenging to walk away from a well above average looking woman like that.

Most female lawyers I have seen are average to below average looking, in line with your physically sub HB 6 rating assessment.

The traits you described are not attractive for women in longer term relationships.

All you can do as a man is exit a relationship when it has become untenable to stay and not become a chump who turns into a doormat "just to get along for the kids" or something like that. Not worth it to your emotional well-being and she will lose all respect for you.

Most men don't exit when the relationship is untenable. Women also stay in bad relationships too long.

There are plenty of men who are average beta chumps in relationships and are staying together for the kids. These are usually married men and it is true that the wife has lost all respect for him.

There are even some men turn into beta doormats without kids being involved and are in relationships when their girlfriend/wife has lost all respect for them.

 

[mikey2012]

If one started courting to win her back, doesn't it mean the power dynamic has now changed to her and now one is in a position of weakness if the relationship were to start again? Previously she was the one initiating and declaring her "love". Also do you continue to no contact until she reaches out? Or is it over since the last interaction she rejected a meet up? I assume another guy is in the picture but she didn't explicitly say but got very angry when i pressed the issue of meeting up and now gone silent.

Unless you are able to manipulate her in pursuing you again, she will become the dominant in the power dynamic.


I never take anyone back. I don't break up on a whim. And a woman who breaks up with me on a whim isn't worthy of my time.

You don't go No Contact as a strategy to 'win her back'. The relationship is over. You have to put her out of your mind while you recuperate, deal with your guilt/self-loathing over any mistakes you made, learn from failure, and find another woman to try a relationship with.

Well she reached out after 2 weeks after NC a few days ago which I found surprising given her angered reaction few weeks ago. It was some trivial matter between a sports team in my home town that got beat by the sports team in her hometown. I don't know if this was some kind of taunt or provocation to get a reaction out of me. SInce I couldnt really care less about the sport team I praised her sports team and the banter continued about how good her team is.

I understand this could be some sort of validation/breadcrumbs to see if I am still hanging around or just a reason to get a rise out of me.

Backstory: Back in June I blocked and effectively dumped her as I wasnt really into her and I was actually relieved she "cheated" and found someone else, but then at end of Sep I re-established contact (as I was taking hormone replacement therapy) and my libido went through the roof.

She was always "into" me but now the interest level has dropped a lot, probably because of another dyck in the picture. However for some reason I am now hung up on her. I'm trying to shake the feeling but it refuses to go away.

I sent her a breadcrumb text but there wasn't a response. I'm guessing the new dyck is probably around for the holidays (from what I know its a LDR).

I am confused why I am now hung up on her, when 6 months ago I really couldnt care less.

 

[Gamisch]

Well she reached out after 2 weeks after NC a few days ago which I found surprising given her angered reaction few weeks ago. It was some trivial matter between a sports team in my home town that got beat by the sports team in her hometown. I don't know if this was some kind of taunt or provocation to get a reaction out of me. SInce I couldnt really care less about the sport team I praised her sports team and the banter continued about how good her team is.

I understand this could be some sort of validation/breadcrumbs to see if I am still hanging around or just a reason to get a rise out of me.

Backstory: Back in June I blocked and effectively dumped her as I wasnt really into her and I was actually relieved she "cheated" and found someone else, but then at end of Sep I re-established contact (as I was taking hormone replacement therapy) and my libido went through the roof.

She was always "into" me but now the interest level has dropped a lot, probably because of another dyck in the picture. However for some reason I am now hung up on her. I'm trying to shake the feeling but it refuses to go away.

I sent her a breadcrumb text but there wasn't a response. I'm guessing the new dyck is probably around for the holidays (from what I know its a LDR).

I am confused why I am now hung up on her, when 6 months ago I really couldnt care less.

Jezus Christ from Nazareth, you about to drive yourself off a cliff...

Just bust a damn nut and keep it moving. She gonna take you to the cleaners bruh. Be extremely cautious..

 

[mikey2012]

Jezus Christ from Nazareth, you about to drive yourself off a cliff...

Just bust a damn nut and keep it moving. She gonna take you to the cleaners bruh. Be extremely cautious..

HAHAHA Merry Christmas to you as well. Please elaborate bro. Do you think she hexed me?

 

[Gamisch]

HAHAHA Merry Christmas to you as well. Please elaborate bro. Do you think she hexed me?

I think that it's all about dynamics.

When you reached out she mightve been involved with Chad/pookie/ Julio/ Chang ect . You show up, she gets defensive. Fast forward, dude played her and she suddenly realised you are a great safety net.

Tbh yes, there is plenty of room to make shyte happen BUT...it will come with a price. That price is gonna be your sanity. When you get her to meet you will feel like it's a victory, while she will feel like it's a defeat...all this while you be oblivious to her actual feelings( we think with our d1ck remember?) .

After some time she will get contacted by Chad Pookie Julio ( who goes through the same with HIS "love of his life") and poof, she gets angry with you again, dropping your self esteem even lower than she did now simply to get rid of you. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat .

Best option is to move on. The sooner the better. Remember, she won't have any problem stringing you along while she actually actively fights for a new bull's attention and even gets "satisfied " by him while you wait for your turn AGAIN.

My advice is to forget about her. If she REALLY wants you back, she knows exactly what to do.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I am confused why I am now hung up on her, when 6 months ago I really couldnt care less.

Like most idiots, you forget the bad and remember the good.

Every ex that required NC tried contacting me several times after the break up. I never took any of them back. I moved on to better women.

But I accept that not many men can really walk away from familiar vagina.
So you don't have to be confused.
You're normal.
And an idiot, but you'll find that out a little further down the line.

 

[RickTheToad]

Whether trying to get your ex back or move on, there’s are good reasons why no contact is such a highly recommended strategy. Because it works!

First of all, it removes you from the source of the pain (her) and will spare you multiple rejections every time you reach out.

Secondly, it gives her space to feel your absence and realise what she’s lost.

And most importantly, it allows time for your emotions to settle and gives you chance to rationalise your compulsive thinking.

Right now, your head is all over the place and you don’t have any consistency in your thoughts or feelings. One minute you’re going to hate her and fixate on all the things she did to ruin the relationship. The next minute, you’re going to miss everything about her. You’ll go through confusion and denial. You’ll picture her with other men and make yourself angry. You’ll rehearse speeches and convince yourself if you say the right thing or act a certain way you can win her back.

Attempting to talk to her when you’re so unstable is going to cause irreparable damage. You’ll act like a ***** and say things you later regret. Then you’ll try to retract them and dig yourself deeper into a pit of shame.

There are no magic words or Jedi mind tricks that will suddenly make her reverse her decision. If that’s what you’re looking for, keep searching. There are plenty of hustlers willing to scam you out of your money.

You can’t use reason and logic to communicate on an emotional level. You can’t persuade someone to be attracted to you.



The Harsh Truth

In the weeks following your breakup, your ex will be feeling a sense of relief. For whatever reason, the relationship was making her unhappy. She doesn’t want to hurt you and she’s been stressing over this decision long before she called it off. So now that it’s done, she’s freed herself of a burden. She’s likely to be feeling optimistic about the future and looking forward to making the most of her free time. Think of a time you were the one doing the rejecting and you’ll know what I mean.

Even if you get her to reply, it will be out of guilt or pity. No self-respecting man wants that.

That’s not what you want to hear, is it? But knowing this will help you understand why now is the worst time to speak to her. She’s not missing you at this moment and she’ll never miss you if you’re still lingering around.

Keep in mind the old proverb, “Familiarity breeds contempt”.

The most common reason men get dumped is because they’re too available and accommodating. If that sounds like you towards the end of your relationship then you allowed her to take you for granted. You lost your value.

Conversely, it’s human nature to want what we can’t have or what we stand to lose. And this is exactly why you should cut contact with your ex.

That means no text messages, calls, emails, no turning up where she hangs out…literally no contact with her for any reason. No mind games. No liking or commenting on her social media posts.




Resist Temptation

You’ll try to find excuses to contact her. You’ll think your breakup is an exception to the rule. You’ll worry she’ll forget you. You think talking to her will stop her moving on. You’ll convince yourself she’s too scared or stubborn to make the first move and she’s waiting for your call.

That’s the desperation we talked about.

Don’t try to adapt this advice and come up with your own strategy. Don’t think you can drop a message trying to act indifferent and cool, because the very act of sending a message shows you’re not cool. She’ll see right through it. No contact means no contact. I can’t stress how important this is.

Whenever I’ve ignored this advice, I’ve regretted it. Everyone I’ve ever spoken to or read about who ignored this advice ended up regretting it. Do not ignore this advice!

The only exception to this rule is if you have shared custody of kids, a home, legal issues or you work together, in which case you should keep communication to a minimum. Be civilised and upbeat, but deal only with the essential issues. No relationship talk.

One of the most helpful things I did during past breakups was to delete my ex’s number from my phone. It can be too easy to send an impulsive text – especially after a drink or two – so it pays to remove the temptation. Even if you remember her number, the act of typing it out (or writing her email address or postal address) could give you just enough time to let the impulse settle.

If you reach out to her after you have been dumped, she’ll continue to take you for granted. She can take chances with other guys knowing you’ll be there as a safety net if things don’t work out.

When you cut all contact, however, you force her to experience life without you. It’s in the quiet, lonely moments that our minds are most active. Over time, she’ll start reflecting on the relationship with an open-mind. She’ll put the bad things in perspective and remember all the positive experiences you shared and all your great qualities she took for granted.

I’ll warn you now, if you make contact before you’re ready, her reply (or lack thereof) could knock you back into a state of despair and you’ll have to start the healing process all over again.

So how will you know if you’re ready? Close your eyes and imagine the worst case scenario. You contact her and find out she’s dating somebody else. It’s going well and she’s happy. How do you feel? If you react emotionally to this thought, then you’re not ready.





Before you get her back, you need to get yourself back

At this point I should make one thing very clear. No contact isn’t just some manipulative mind game to win your ex back. It will always begin that way because you can’t think of anything else. Right now, you’re clinging to whatever hope you can find and just looking to get from one day to the next.

The ironic thing is that once you stop caring and move on, that’s when they’re most likely to come back. That’s the end goal of no contact. It’s about severing your unhealthy dependence on her and putting yourself first so you can return to the man you used to be. This doesn’t happen overnight.

Many experts recommend 30 to 90 days of no contact, depending on the length of the relationship. In reality, this is an arbitrary target to aim for. What matters more is how you use this time. If you spend every one of those days stalking her social media, strategizing, looking at old photos and wallowing in self-pity, you’ll feel as bad on day 90 as you did on day 1.

However, if you engage in productive activities, work on getting your **** together, you may feel the benefits within a few weeks. By 60 days you’ll be feeling more like your old self (or an improved version thereof) and have a detached view of the relationship. By the 90 day mark you should be thinking rationally again and may realise you’re better off moving forwards rather than going back.

After my most recent breakup I initiated no contact immediately and did everything right. I focused on healing and rebuilding my life. The first few weeks were hard going, filled with pain and regret. However, by the time day 60 came around I experienced a radical shift in my perspective. I wasn’t missing my ex. I had stopped romanticising the relationship and saw it for the wretched mess it had turned into.

I finally accepted the breakup as a blessing and felt relieved we hadn’t decided to try again. By day 70 I started dating a gorgeous girl and was rediscovering the passion and excitement that had been lacking in my relationship.

There’s no guarantee this will happen for everyone in the same time frame, but you will notice your thinking changes with time and it gets easier to let go and see the positives of moving forward.

Do not treat these numbers as a countdown until you can call her up and resume your chasing and persuasion tactics. That defeats the purpose of no contact and proves you’re still the same clingy bootlicker she rejected in the first place. She never wanted that version of you, so why should she want him back 30 to 90 days later?

If you were the one being rejected, I’d recommend you avoid making contact indefinitely. Yes, really!

“Oh, but what if my ex is too stubborn to reach out first?” I hear you ask.

Thinking this way proves you’re still in that needy mindset. You’re focused on her and not on yourself.

When you chase a woman, it communicates that you value her more than you value yourself. That, right there, is why she broke up with you.

And frankly, if she’s not willing to make first contact, she clearly doesn’t care enough. It means she’s moving on and so should you. That’s hard to hear, I know, but give it time and it’ll all make sense.

My Uncle Goober always told us NEVER take a b!tch back. NEVER. Would you take the trash back inside your home after you've put it in the garbage can and brought it to the curb? NO.