Why are Some Guys So Against Cold Approach/Daygame

[Georgepithyou]

Cold approach is the best way to meet women outside of social circles, most guys here do not have a social circle that gives them a variety new women.

Outside of Cold approach, what alternatives does a man really have? OLD? Nightgame (which is impossible if you have a 9-5 job and live outside of the downtown area).

A woman is not going to fall out of the sky unto your lap, you need to go out and approach women.

 

[Robert28]

Countless women claim they don’t enjoy being approached by strange men these days. So oblige them by leaving them alone.

 

[Robert28]

Women only want to be approached by men they are attracted to. You have to read between the lines. Women looooove being approached if you turn them on.

Exactly. I don’t have time to care if they find me attractive or don’t, so I keep to myself and just walk on by minding my own business.

 

[Robert28]

I think it's because cold approach is very difficult to get tangible (ie. sexual) results from.

What most guys will discover is that if you're well-calibrated and look decent then the vast majority of women will be happy to have a conversation with you, and then blow you off with "I have a boyfriend" or some other auto-reject line women use. I can't think of many women at all who have reacted negatively to me approaching them. The worst I ever get is her politely telling me that she has a boyfriend, and in worse situations she just doesn't stop to talk because she's busy and on her way to do something.

Guys who criticize Daygame/Cold Approach haven't had any success from it, so they write it off as a way to cope. Once a guy gets laid for the first time from cold approach then his whole outlook will change.

The biggest issue of all is the grifters on YouTube who pretend that Daygame is easy. It's not easy at all, and it makes men feel like failures for not achieving fast results from it.

Personally, when I started daygame cold approaching back in the day it took me several months and multiple approaches to get a bang out of it. After my first bang, my outlook and vibe changed, and the daygame process became much more enjoyable.

Rejections from cold approaches aren’t what fvck with your mind. At least it’s never bothered me. The rejections that came after a few dates, those are the ones that make you stop dating and bothering with women all together.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Countless women claim they don’t enjoy being approached by strange men these days. So oblige them by leaving them alone.

How do you expect to get a girl if you don't cold approach?

The biggest issue of all is the grifters on YouTube who pretend that Daygame is easy. It's not easy at all, and it makes men feel like failures for not achieving fast results from it.

100% agree with this, I'm tired of the misinformation spread by those snake oil salesmen, it's not some easy cheat code. Daygame is the hardest way to meet women but also the most rewarding. It feels like your a Lion hunting a zebra.

 

[BMX]

Because they've gone very soft, lack half of their testosterone or more and hide behind their apps. It works but no one wants to socialize IRL anymore, so this problem isn't just a guy problem or a 2021 problem but a 2031, 2041, etc. problem. No more ppl telling others to straighten up their posture, get shredded, take public speaking class, dress up and put a little cologne on to help with their approaches because it's all behind screens and closed doors. Sh!t is hella weak soyboy sauce now.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Well it’s definitely NOT because a guy has tried for years, approached hundreds of women, never gotten laid from daygame, and found out that online dating was easier and that with online game he could get laid regularly. Definitely not that.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Apps are only easier because you've already filtered out for available women. Presumably if she's on an app then she's at least open to the idea of meeting someone.

If a guy has been doing daygame for years, hundreds of approaches, and achieved nothing then that's clearly an issue the man has. He's either not able to learn and adapt his approach and improve his technique, or he has downs syndrome. It's definitely not normal to experience such complete failure from Daygame if a guy is doing it right and gradually improving.

Well I must have Down’s syndrome then. Or maybe I just prefer the easy route.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Exactly. I don’t have time to care if they find me attractive or don’t, so I keep to myself and just walk on by minding my own business.

why are you on this forum then? Shy dudes are to women what fat chicks are to dudes: invisible

 

[BadBoy89]

It's also because Men have now designated Women are their saviors from their own burden of performance. Most men just want to find a woman who accepts him, and he doesn't have to compete and perform in the sexual market place. It's real Mommy's Boy stuff.

A woman's love is entirely conditional on what value you're bringing. Most guys don't know what women value, or how to bring value in a way that will make women want to associate with him. It's not just transactional - have a good body, look good, smell nice, have money, have status etc. You have to be able to make her get tingles and "feelz" and be her source of validation - this is meta stuff. Most guys don't get it. I have a friend currently who is a millionaire and is acquiring more and more properties hoping that it will magically make women attracted to him. Doesn't work like that. You need to have Game and you need to know who to infiltrate a woman's emotional landscape. I've tried explaining this to him, but he's stuck in beta "I must earn more money to attract women" mindset.

I actually think most guys get it. Guys don’t have a problem with sex, sex is easy to get in 2021.

The problem is most guys want a woman’s love, respect, admiration, companionship. This is very hard to get in 2021. In 2021, a girl would much sooner take off her clothes to have sex with a man than to pick up a phone and call the same man to see how he is doing.

In my opinion a man would be best served not to commit to any woman. Remember, the sexual market place is deregulated, women are encouraged to sleep around and be happy, the Courts and public opinion always side with the woman and nothing is ever a woman‘s fault.

Why would a man want to legally commit to a depreciating asset when he basically has 0 leverage? For a steady supply of sex at her discretion?

Brutal.

 

[characternote]

I think what makes me feel a little ill is calling it “day game” and “cold approach” and making it a little topic and activity, complete with its own gurus and personal statistics.

what men used to always do is just kind of flirt with pretty women they meet - in the cafe, in shops, at the bus stop.....wherever. Once in a while you might get strong eye contact from a girl on the street and then you ask her for directions and try to get her number.

Often you go with your mates to a park and try to meet groups of girls.

This just used to be called “life” but “daygame” and a roadmap to perfect it make it seem cringeworthy and also really desperate. You shouldn’t be going out to do it, it should be what you do while you’re out doing your own life. “Daygame” to me just speaks of a basement ridden incel who needs to psych up and dress up and rehearse for what just should be what you do every day.

it is probably not the case for all. For the non incel who is doing 1000 approaches in a year or whatever, I would just question why would you dedicate this much of your life to trying to pound vg, it’s really not that important and if you’re not an incel you should get enough anyway

Basically this.
There really aren't any secret powerful tactics to MAKE a girl wanna bang you. That's just marketing
So all 'daygame' is, is basically 'living' and when you see a cute girl, you try your luck. Talk to her, flirt and see if she's interested
Your success rate depends on how good looking she thinks you are andhow suitable the environment and culture are to cold approach

 

[Bingo-Player]

Women only want to be approached by men they are attracted to. You have to read between the lines. Women looooove being approached if you turn them on.

Who doesn't...... problem is most guys though will awkwardly approach and creep the living sh1t out of her

Same for chicks i am at the gym some overweight HB6 awkwardly approaches .....what is my reaction going to be !?!

1) Wtf does she want

2) How can i get her to go away

3) Shall i just leave

Seriously guys unless your cold approach game is absolute fire and i am talking you are so confident you think you could walk on water targeted cold approach is going to fail 9/10

That is the cold light of day i am sorry to break it

However there is a caveat IF you are going about your day as a successful alpha male who doesn't need a woman would be and you cross paths with some fit young philly THEN you can approach and do a number close.

 

[Serenity]

Outside of Cold approach, what alternatives does a man really have? OLD? Nightgame (which is impossible if you have a 9-5 job and live outside of the downtown area).

Everyone wants the easy way, tsk tsk. The best way is to cultivate a solid social circle. Don't just remain focused on talking to women, talk to guys too and befriend those who you get along well with. Preferably if they also have a solid social network, this sets you up to meet a lot of these people.

Yeah it might take a bit of time, but I think the reward outweighs having to only butt your head into a wall doing the solo games.

 

[characternote]

you really can't negotiate attraction. No 'game' tricks actually work. That's why the industry moved on from mysterymethod and stuff lol.
Negging and using NLP lines and whatever else one thinks of as super advanced manipulation will only 'work' on girls who already thought you were attractive. (thus did it really 'work'?)
Game is simply approaching a girl, flirting adn seeing if shes into you or not. At every level

 

[Bingo-Player]

Getting approached by a chick isn't attractive because it's masculine behavior.

Obviously confidence is huge. If a man doesn't believe in himself, then her can't expect her to either.

Expecting to "cross paths" with women is passive behavior. As a man, you have to make it happen.

I can practically guarantee that if you surveyed 100 women 99 of them would not find being approached by some random awkward guy attractive

We aren't living in the stone ages anymore you can't just go out and hunt for women approach her smash her over the head with a rock and take her back to the cave

the ideology of "day game" is guru nonsense designed to sell solutions and give hope to desperate guys that have never had any success with women

The modern man should be busy building his kingdom not in a perpetual loop chasing tail he has no hope with

Unfortunately we don't live in that era anymore

 

[Bingo-Player]

you really can't negotiate attraction. No 'game' tricks actually work. That's why the industry moved on from mysterymethod and stuff lol.
Negging and using NLP lines and whatever else one thinks of as super advanced manipulation will only 'work' on girls who already thought you were attractive. (thus did it really 'work'?)
Game is simply approaching a girl, flirting adn seeing if shes into you or not. At every level

I agree there are some attitudes & behaviours linked to "game" that help with general male/female attraction but largely i don't see "game" as being able to conquer attraction , it can however definitely help to sustain it

Sometimes you just have to accept she's just not that into you and you will end up wasting precious time and energy trying to change that

 

[characternote]

I agree there are some attitudes & behaviours linked to "game" that help with general male/female attraction but largely i don't see "game" as being able to conquer attraction , it can however definitely help to sustain it

Sometimes you just have to accept she's just not that into you and you will end up wasting precious time and energy trying to change that

I completely agree. I don't consider myself a 'game denier' at all! I just feel like it's not what it's sold as. It's marketed to gullible desperate guys as something that it's not, and never could be. ('say this, behave like this and you can force a girl to be sexually attracted to you')
I mean, if a girl is approached by a guy she thinks is handsome, and he has really bad 'game', his chances of banging her reduce quite a lot. That's how i would never deny game (But it's a sliding scale. If she thinks you are 10/10 hot, then it doesn't matter. I have a German friend who proves this. Male model good looks but zero game. Doesn't stop girls wanting to rip his clothes off when they meet him lol. But most guys, even fairly good looking guys won't have that luxury. They'll need to not bore her to death etc)
But if you open a girl and she's just not remotely attracted to you on a physical level, no 'game' is gonna cut any ice. It wasn't his fault or a failure in his 'seduction'. People give themselves WAY too much credit when they talk of seduction lol
Infields prove this nicely

 

[B80]

I don't think you can be a successful dark triad without intelligence and competence. I would say that intelligence and competence alone does not breed true success with women if it's bluepill - because then it becomes transactional. Plenty of intelligent and competent people succeed within the matrix (financially and socially) but cannot figure out how to turn women on.

Interesting read this debate. @Pan87, out of interest, are there any books, podcasts etc you recommend around the subject you're discussing? I know you have to approach, get experience etc but would be useful to do some reading/learning when doing other stuff at home.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Who said you approach women randomly and awkwardly? Obviously, that's not attractive.

But at its core that is what " day game /cold approach" is .... some chick is going about her day to day business and some random guy approaches her and starts talking about some random crap

like i said you would need to be incredibly conversational / charismatic and confident to be able to make that scenario natural and as you put it "attractive"

Vast majority of guys will not be able to do this

Don't get me wrong night /club approach is completely different beast , alcohol is involved , approach is usually welcomed and women are usually receptive knock yourself out

 

[characternote]

Basically this.
There really aren't any secret powerful tactics to MAKE a girl wanna bang you. That's just marketing
So all 'daygame' is, is basically 'living' and when you see a cute girl, you try your luck. Talk to her, flirt and see if she's interested
Your success rate depends on how good looking she thinks you are andhow suitable the environment and culture are to cold approach

This is "just be yourself, bro, and good things will happen" advice. Probably the most bluepill advice you could ever give a person. It's also a very passive and feminine perspective.

Life is entirely down to you actively forging your own path, and often brutally manipulating your way to your goals.

How is what I said any different from what you say below, though? As you say (and as I said) you open, try to get her to hook, and you flirt a little.

And as you say ' You only proceed through these stages if she's attracted '. Again, I agree. What about that do you think is 'actively forging your path and 'manipulating' her? I mean what you wrote could also be called 'Just be yourself bro and good things will happen' advice if mine was, no? (since we said the same thing)

Approach with a reason that has nothing to do with her beauty or you finding her attractive. Complementing her beauty gives all your power away. Approach with a comment on her fashion choice if she's wearing something unique. Other approaches could be commenting on her mood, or what she might be up to - always preface it with something like "I saw you walking here just now and I noticed..(launch into your comment)". First step is how she respond to your opener, and proceed from there if she's receptive. You keep making comments and observations until she hooks on something or starts giving you information about herself - this is a buying signal. Your comments can be anything from her accent, her mood, or what she looks like i.e. "You look like you know how to dance, you've got a dancer's physique". Dancing is subconsciously sexual so it's good area to lead her mind to.

Once she hooks and gives you information e.g. "Actually, I love dancing. But I'm not a professional. Tehehe" then that's your greenlight to proceed to building some rapport, giving her a bit of information about yourself and then flirting with her. Flirting can be done through push/pull statements (but this has to be very calibrated), body language and light kino like touching the back of her elbow when you're emphasizing something you're saying. The power of touch is very lethal if you do it the right way.

You only proceed through these stages if she's attracted, and a girl makes it pretty obvious when she's attracted.

Once you've done these things then you could either try for an insta date by suggesting she accompany you to coffee (you were already getting a coffee and she can come along - never ask her "Would you like to get a coffee with me?"). If you don't want to insta-date her then you can either leave her with your card James Bond style, or take her number.