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I agree there are some attitudes & behaviours linked to "game" that help with general male/female attraction but largely i don't see "game" as being able to conquer attraction , it can however definitely help to sustain it
I completely agree. I don't consider myself a 'game denier' at all! I just feel like it's not what it's sold as. It's marketed to gullible desperate guys as something that it's not, and never could be. ('say this, behave like this and you can force a girl to be sexually attracted to you')
Just reflecting on this. I know 2 dark triads in my workplace. One is incompetent but extremely machievialian. The other is more narcisstic but highly competent. The former is an abject failure, the latter highly successful.
Interesting read this debate. @Pan87, out of interest, are there any books, podcasts etc you recommend around the subject you're discussing? I know you have to approach, get experience etc but would be useful to do some reading/learning when doing other stuff at home.
But at its core that is what " day game /cold approach" is .... some chick is going about her day to day business and some random guy approaches her and starts talking about some random crap
How is what I said any different from what you say below, though? As you say (and as I said) you open, try to get her to hook, and you flirt a little.
cold approaches always had a very low success rate but the key was to critically mass them. They work less and less as time goes on due to smartphones/social media creating natural barriers between organic interpersonal communication, and also PUA explosion of the 2000s flooding clubs and bars with non naturals doing it badly and making women as a whole less open to approaches.
Workplace I can agree on, but not the rest of my social life. It's easier to replace friends than to replace a job.
The problem isn't women seeing themselves as equals, the problems arise if they consider themselves as superior and start stepping on my toes. That's where my boundary go, I expect to receive the same respect that is given and if that stops being true then they're out.
Because some guys prefer to build a false sense of confidence by "picking up" and roping a girl from the comfort of their couch and phones? I don't know, beats me really.
I'll give you an analogy: men who always strike out at baseball tend to not like baseball.
Well, she might at a strip club when the DJ announces 2 for 1.
I can remember from my college days, some chick being the conversation aggressor (she was cute but a little chunky
), and then out of nowhere she blurts out, "... my boyfriend ..."; it's like she wanted men to try to hit her up so that she could use this line.
I don’t think this kind of thing is healthy in the pua community. Years ago the thing was hard cases like me were suspected of autism. I actually got myself professionally tested for autism because of that, but a lot of guys just live with the insecurity of “maybe I’m damaged”. Hardly empowering like pua used to be before all this sh!t
This means you have a chad-tier experience of cold approach and old. I could probably have one too if I lose enough weight to have better facial definition.
The way I see it is that a woman isn't her normal self when infatuated or as you call it "highly attracted". Almost nobody are their normal selves in that state of mind. You can't properly judge a woman's true character when her mind is clouded by that rush of emotion, who she is when that inevitably subsides is what matters. A good way to figure this out early is to see how she treats others around her who she's not infatuated with.
That's a bit overkill and unsustainable. She doesn't need to see you as superior, but I would agree that she definitely must never regard you as inferior. With your way you maintain your superiority up until the point she packs it up and leaves because she's sick of not having a say in anything. I'm personally not that black and white about it, I'll listen, consider and decide on whether I want to go along or not. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't and sometimes I make a third option that suits us both better. If you constantly shut them down and always do it your way they'll resent you after a while.
Typical unhealthy on and off relationship dynamic. I have a 1-strike policy, if it ever reaches the point that the relationship ends then I'm done with it permanently. I don't backpedal for any reason, if the relationship was terminated it was for a good reason and it stays that way.
I disagree, a little compromise now and again shouldn't cause her respect for you to plummet. You can compromise once in a while and other times just say no. If she's the type of woman who thinks the first little compromise means she can start bending you over and fvcking you in the ass, then she's a sh!t woman to begin with. A healthy minded woman will leave you if you either never or always compromise, if you're somewhat balanced yourself then you should be fine.
Sure, that's fairly normal. You will only fail if you compromise too much, a little bit once in a while is fine.
She beta-izes him? You can't blame women for that one. As I said, a little compromise is fine. If it ever gets this severe it won't be on her, it will be on him for LETTING HER go that far by moving your own boundaries. You can compromise on things that are within your boundaries, things you're ok with or don't care much one way or the other. You can then still put your foot down if she tries to go too far and if she at that point don't respect you because you have compromised one time previously then clearly she's a sh!t woman.
Looks more like MTR in my view, effective enough to work for a while, but too unsustainable for a lasting healthy relationship.
Sexual dynamic isn't quite the same as overall relationship dynamic in my experience. I've been with the same woman for 6 years now, married almost 2 years. Sex is wilder than it ever has been. I really didn't even have a choice to not dominate in the bedroom, she was a virgin when we met and I had to teach her the arts. She prefers that I lead, but on the rare occasion there's something she wants to do I'm usually open to that.
First sentence is absolutely true. The second sentence is your way of achieving it, I do it differently. I don't "manage perceptions", that's way too stressful, I manage the people I allow into my life. I do life the way that makes me feel the best (within the realm of possibility of course), I eject the people who upsets that balance. That's not really much to manage because I get rid of those who require a lot of managing to keep around.
I'm extremely skeptical of women who behave in this way. They change themselves because of their emotionally hightened state, this only lasts for as long as she's in that state and in the case of infatuation it may last a very long time, but never indefinitely. When that day comes she will revert back to her natural state and if she's not someone you like in her natural state you have wasted your time at best. This means you'll have to work harder to keep her from being her natural self, you're literally fighting her nature and sooner or later nature will win.