Who "enjoys" approaching women?

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

yeah, i just wonder if its inevitable for most guys or just many guys, to mess up or screw interactions when approaching, to either creep the girl out or make her feel uncomfortable, awkward or weirded out, as in, its part of the processs of getting better, as in, learning from our mistakes?

I don't think it's inevitable (and in fact HIGHLY unlikely) for a guy to screw up interactions or creep the girl out.

For at least 3 reasons..

1. If the guy is confident in himself and has a PLAN of action, then he is less likely to screw up.

"Chance favors the prepared mind".

If you go in prepared, the probability of screwing up decreases.

2. Women/girls are not creeped out by guys they find attractive. They are only creeped out by guys they find unattractive and/or have little to zero interest in.

When a woman finds you attractive, you can't approach her quick enough.

3. Most of you guys are night gamers anyway, which increases your chances of talking to women who may be more receptive to your presence & conversation due to the social nature of the environment (late night parties, clubs, bars, etc).

i wonder if you or many guys out there, who became better with women, had interactions with women in which they got thrown those labels or perceived that way.

On cold approaching? None that I can think of.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I don't think it's inevitable (and in fact HIGHLY unlikely) for a guy to screw up interactions or creep the girl out.

For at least 3 reasons..

1. If the guy is confident in himself and has a PLAN of action, then he is less likely to screw up.

"Chance favors the prepared mind".

If you go in prepared, the probability of screwing up decreases.

2. Women/girls are not creeped out by guys they find attractive. They are only creeped out by guys they find unattractive and/or have little to zero interest in.

When a woman finds you attractive, you can't approach her quick enough.

3. Most of you guys are night gamers anyway, which increases your chances of talking to women who may be more receptive to your presence & conversation due to the social nature of the environment (late night parties, clubs, bars, etc).



On cold approaching? None that I can think of.

as for number 2, well yes i can believe that, they are only creeped out by men they are not attracted to, but obviously, the only way men can find out if the woman is attracted to him is if the man approaches her, and obviously there is going to be a risk or chance that women will get approached by men that they are not attracted to.

Here is another comment i got from a dating/seduction coach, he said:

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Let me shed a little light on your bullshiit sarcasm.

Let me shed some light on my 'bullshiit sarcastic' comment.
My question was genuine. If you do cold approach, especially in the beginning when you're inexperienced and not socially calibrated, you will probably creep out women with your awkwardness, but you can check your progress by how many women used to be creeped out by your approaches and how many women are creeped out now. If you used to creep out 8-10 women a year, and now you creep out 2-4 women a year, there's positive progress. You're getting better at interacting with women, the fewer the awkward moments get.

I'm an experienced motorcyclist. Someone asked me how to measure when a motorcyclist in experienced: is it in how many motorcycles they had ridden? Or how many miles? Or how many advanced riding courses they had taken?
My answer was, how many times do you get surprised when riding a motorcycle? The inexperience motorcyclist gets surprised a lot: other road users do something they didn't expect; the braking distance differs on unfamiliar road surfaces; et cetera. But if you challenge yourself on your motorcycle by riding in a lot of different circumstances, you won't be surprised as much as in the beginning and there will come a point that you don't get surprised anymore by other road users doing stupid shiit.

Same with approaching women. When you're inexperienced, you will get awkward responses, but with practice and challenging yourself you will get better at assessing a woman's receptiveness and interest, and the awkward responses become fewer and fewer until you're experienced and don't make women uncomfortable anymore.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

as for number 2, well yes i can believe that

Great job of glossing over #1, which places emphasis on a man's CONFIDENCE.

Confident men don't mess up interactions, which was the point.

Gain/build confidence and the rest will fall into place.

That point should not be dismissed.

, they are only creeped out by men they are not attracted to, but obviously, the only way men can find out if the woman is attracted to him is if the man approaches her

My point was that if a woman is going to be creeped out by a guy, chances are, she found him unattractive.

I retract "only"..because being unattractive doesn't necessarily entail being creeped out by a woman.

The main idea is; either the woman is feeling you or she isn't...and while you don't know if she feeling you until you approach her, if you work on certain things you can control (physical appearance; lose weight, build muscle), then you simply shoot your shot and if you miss; move on.

, and obviously there is going to be a risk or chance that women will get approached by men that they are not attracted to.

Let me put it to you this way; I've been rejected more than I've been selected.

I assume that all the women who've rejected me did not find me attractive.

And of those, only a small handful have expressed uncomfortableness.

That says a lot.

Here is another comment i got from a dating/seduction coach, he said:
"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better?

I've always been confident in my social interactions with women, and my experiences only reflect a small percentage of uncomfortableness in my social interactions with women (on her part, not mines).

So I can't relate to that.

For those that can relate to that, all I can do is recommend what has helped me, which goes back to my #1 point; confidence & preparation.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Let me shed some light on my 'bullshiit sarcastic' comment.
My question was genuine. If you do cold approach, especially in the beginning when you're inexperienced and not socially calibrated, you will probably creep out women with your awkwardness, but you can check your progress by how many women used to be creeped out by your approaches and how many women are creeped out now. If you used to creep out 8-10 women a year, and now you creep out 2-4 women a year, there's positive progress. You're getting better at interacting with women, the fewer the awkward moments get.

I'm an experienced motorcyclist. Someone asked me how to measure when a motorcyclist in experienced: is it in how many motorcycles they had ridden? Or how many miles? Or how many advanced riding courses they had taken?
My answer was, how many times do you get surprised when riding a motorcycle? The inexperience motorcyclist gets surprised a lot: other road users do something they didn't expect; the braking distance differs on unfamiliar road surfaces; et cetera. But if you challenge yourself on your motorcycle by riding in a lot of different circumstances, you won't be surprised as much as in the beginning and there will come a point that you don't get surprised anymore by other road users doing stupid shiit.

Same with approaching women. When you're inexperienced, you will get awkward responses, but with practice and challenging yourself you will get better at assessing a woman's receptiveness and interest, and the awkward responses become fewer and fewer until you're experienced and don't make women uncomfortable anymore.

I disagree with the notion that a woman will give a guy an awkward response should he approach her.

Not to say that it doesn't happen, but it is so rare that it should not be a consideration.

Sounds like you guys have been watching too many TV shows/movies, where shiit like this have been overdramatized for dramatic effects.

When you actually step out into the real world for practical purposes, you will find that women aren't these standoffish, freaked-out national geographic creatures that get nervous breakdowns when approached by guys.

On average, worse-case scenario is she will let you down gently and that is the end of story.

All of that over-the-top, creeped out shiit is Hollywood.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Great job of glossing over #1, which places emphasis on a man's CONFIDENCE.

Confident men don't mess up interactions, which was the point.

Gain/build confidence and the rest will fall into place.

That point should not be dismissed.



My point was that if a woman is going to be creeped out by a guy, chances are, she found him unattractive.

I retract "only"..because being unattractive doesn't necessarily entail being creeped out by a woman.

The main idea is; either the woman is feeling you or she isn't...and while you don't know if she feeling you until you approach her, if you work on certain things you can control (physical appearance; lose weight, build muscle), then you simply shoot your shot and if you miss; move on.



Let me put it to you this way; I've been rejected more than I've been selected.

I assume that all the women who've rejected me did not find me attractive.

And of those, only a small handful have expressed uncomfortableness.

That says a lot.



I've always been confident in my social interactions with women, and my experiences only reflect a small percentage of uncomfortableness in my social interactions with women (on her part, not mines).

So I can't relate to that.

For those that can relate to that, all I can do is recommend what has helped me, which goes back to my #1 point; confidence & preparation.

so i assume you are described as a man who is natural? a man who never needed a mentor or never needed a coach to improve your dating life?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

so i assume you are described as a man who is natural? a man who never needed a mentor or never needed a coach to improve your dating life?

Hell yeah I've had mentors along the way.

One of the main things I've learned by way of coaching/advice is this logical principle..

You do NOT need to take women out on dates first, in order to get them in the bed.

This is contrary to how most men think, as it has been ingrained in our minds that a date is the first step in sleeping with a woman.

However, I've learned that this is not necessarily true...and knowing what I know now, my "dating" life has improved.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You do NOT need to take women out on dates first, in order to get them in the bed.

I think I can count the 'dinner and a movie' dates on the fingers of one hand. And I've never been without female company. So you absolutely right, you don't need to 'date' like that in order to date women.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Hell yeah I've had mentors along the way.

One of the main things I've learned by way of coaching/advice is this logical principle..

You do NOT need to take women out on dates first, in order to get them in the bed.

This is contrary to how most men think, as it has been ingrained in our minds that a date is the first step in sleeping with a woman.

However, I've learned that this is not necessarily true...and knowing what I know now, my "dating" life has improved.

you sought help from PUAs or seduction coaches?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

you sought help from PUAs or seduction coaches?

Yes, but more so dating (loose term) coaches.

But I will tell you what; after I gained experience after being out in the field, I began to adopt my own philosophies and strategies.

Shout out to all those who've helped me along the way.

Special shout out to Mr.Locario, and Alan Roger Currie (RIP).

Those two have been the most influential to how I approach dating.

 

[Isildur1]

yup there never has been and never will be a way around this for guys men, men will never have the luxury of women pursuing them or hitting on them, shooting their shot with them, making advances on them.

As for me, i look at rejection from a different perspective now, its not rejection that hurts, i'm aware that i won't be compatible with every woman, obviously not every woman will like me and i won't like every woman either.

Its mainly the risk of being labeled or thrown the creepy label, getting perceived as weird or making the woman uncomfortable, thats the part i mainly hate the most about men always having to approach women, it also angers me a lot because it seems people and society have always expected men to just naturally have the social intuition, the social calibration, they expect us to have common sense for knowing what is creepy weird behavior around women and what is not.

Reminds me of a certain comment that was kinda moving.

One woman’s creep is another woman’s confident man . Sounds creepy saying that but even approaching women during daygame I had a lot of different interpretations to how I was perceived . Some women didn’t want to give contact information out to a stranger on the street , some where overwhelmed by it but others said it made their day and they loved the confidence and wished other men were as confident as me. So there’s obviously alot of vast differences per 100 approaches I guess as long as I’m having a net positive effect overall then it’s fine. Has I not approached so many women I of course would not have my girlfriend today so even the women who found me to be creepy or rejected me … well I eventually got my success . The most negative group in terms of reactions tended to be the heavily religious and conservative women though.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

One woman’s creep is another woman’s confident man . Sounds creepy saying that but even approaching women during daygame I had a lot of different interpretations to how I was perceived . Some women didn’t want to give contact information out to a stranger on the street , some where overwhelmed by it but others said it made their day and they loved the confidence and wished other men were as confident as me. So there’s obviously alot of vast differences per 100 approaches I guess as long as I’m having a net positive effect overall then it’s fine. Has I not approached so many women I of course would not have my girlfriend today so even the women who found me to be creepy or rejected me … well I eventually got my success . The most negative group in terms of reactions tended to be the heavily religious and conservative women though.

yes to sum it up, its not rejection that hurts, its the way that it happens that has the biggest affect me on, as in, not wanting to feel like i violated the womans boundaries or made her feel uncomfortable, is an embarassing feeling, makes me feel very stupid.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

I've also concluded if a man is relegated to doing cold approaches to get a woman, he did something wrong, or something went wrong for him in life.

Absolutely not. What a bizarre conclusion.

A guy who does cold approach isn't 'relegated' and it isn't indicative that 'something went wrong for him in life'.

If anything, it's the exact opposite. Guys who know about cold approach and who get good at it are incredibly lucky and are on a higher level than most guys in society. They have a much greater choice of women and are much more in control of their dating and sex life than guys who don't know about (or can't) cold approach.

It's guys who don't cold approach who are 'relegated'.... they're relegated to only meeting women through limited or artificial means like social circles, work, dating/hook up apps or social events.....but a guy who does cold approach doesn't have such limitations - he can approach any girl, any time, any place so has much greater control and choice with regards to his dating and sex life.

So don't look at cold approach as if 'something went wrong in a guy's life'. Nope. The fact that he's doing cold approach means he's incredibly fortunate to have found out about it and has a skill very few guys possess. It's 100% a good thing if a guy is able to cold approach (and be successful at it)!

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Maybe you should focus on approaching one that would be aligned with your values and interests.

How do you know whether a girl is 'aligned with your values and interests' BEFORE you approach her?! Lol, so you're gonna walk round looking at girls, trying to read their minds, and be like 'I wonder if that chick is aligned with my values and interests...nope, can't approach her!'

Lol buddy. The only way you're gonna find out if a girl is 'aligned with your values and interests' is to approach her and talk to her. There's no way you can know that before you approach unless you're some sort of mind reader.