Who "enjoys" approaching women?

[Isildur1]

I quite enjoy approaching chicks even if they reject me.

The way I see it is, the alternative to approaching, is being a sad pathetic loser sat at home depending on onlyfans and porn hub to meet his sexual needs. Or having dating apps with 90% fat over the hill skanks as an option.

It's a numbers game, yes at times it's extremely difficult and disheartening, but we shouldn't be afraid of facing difficult things.

Obviously if you look like chit, fat, ugly, badly dressed, then you will have a difficult time.

This is why we promote gym/fitness so we get that extra edge in succeeding with women.

exactly, the alternative is what exactly? Women are never going to come for me- its a man's job to pursue and lead . I met my girlfriend after 500 approaches/ a lot of iffy dates and bad break ups but the experiences moulded me well if I hadn't gone through all the pain id just be single and alone now and that wouldn't have been the life I wanted. If you can't take the rejection you don't deserve the success in my eyes.

 

[Isildur1]

Maybe you should focus on approaching one that would be aligned with your values and interests.

Then it could be more pleasurable.

If the approach is only for sex, or for amount of girls... its a bit exhausting. And maybe you should focus on quality.

If you find a good one and are enjoying your time with her, might be also a good idea to focus only on her... even if it doesnt get into LTR. If it doesnt work just move on.

you need options in order to find one that's aligned with your values and interests- approaching is a numbers game and it takes time for men but that's the way it is- it's hard to "fast track" all aspects of dating sometimes its just grit and numbers that makes the difference.

 

[woffelskota91]

Used to hate it as a teenager and almost never approached any girls.

In my early 20s I just slowly started getting into it, although I still used to be afraid as hell each time I did it. Usually made it happen at parties when I had already had some booze.

Towards my mid 20s I started getting somewhat addicted to the adrenaline rush and really learned to enjoy it.

Now, in my early 30s, I haven't done any cold approaches for a couple of years, as I'm in an LTR. But that's another story.

TL;DR:

You can start off not enjoying it and being afraid as hell and eventually getting addicted to the feeling it brings you.

 

[MajesticOne]

It's perhaps my favorite thing to do ever and when you get good at it, it becomes addicting. I think it's a genuine problem for guys who get good at cold approach as once you are great at it you can find fantastic gf/wife material women quite easily but you will miss approaching random hotties and that feeling never quite goes away.

When I'm in a relationship, I usually miss the chase more so than the actual sex with randos.

 

[BPH]

I think it is the single best skill you can learn.

It bridges the gap that things like money, looks, and status can't. Women will rarely make the first move, so if you have the confidence to do that for them, you open up so many possibilities.

Developing true confidence and not being outcome-dependent allows you to be relaxed in situations that most other men would choose to avoid.

 

[makhamochi]

i love 4 marriges only

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

exactly, the alternative is what exactly? Women are never going to come for me- its a man's job to pursue and lead . I met my girlfriend after 500 approaches/ a lot of iffy dates and bad break ups but the experiences moulded me well if I hadn't gone through all the pain id just be single and alone now and that wouldn't have been the life I wanted. If you can't take the rejection you don't deserve the success in my eyes.

yup there never has been and never will be a way around this for guys men, men will never have the luxury of women pursuing them or hitting on them, shooting their shot with them, making advances on them.

As for me, i look at rejection from a different perspective now, its not rejection that hurts, i'm aware that i won't be compatible with every woman, obviously not every woman will like me and i won't like every woman either.

Its mainly the risk of being labeled or thrown the creepy label, getting perceived as weird or making the woman uncomfortable, thats the part i mainly hate the most about men always having to approach women, it also angers me a lot because it seems people and society have always expected men to just naturally have the social intuition, the social calibration, they expect us to have common sense for knowing what is creepy weird behavior around women and what is not.

Reminds me of a certain comment that was kinda moving.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Its mainly the risk of being labeled or thrown the creepy label, getting perceived as weird or making the woman uncomfortable, thats the part i mainly hate the most about men always having to approach women, it also angers me a lot because it seems people and society have always expected men to just naturally have the social intuition, the social calibration, they expect us to have common sense for knowing what is creepy weird behavior around women and what is not.

Reminds me of a certain comment that was kinda moving.

It is all in your imagination, homie.

I've approached close to probably 200 women in the past few years and less than 5% of them have ever shown obvious signs of uncomfortableness or looked at me as weird.

What about the rest of the 95% of the time?

The rest of the times have been filled with complimentary remarks on my boldness, and even my rejections are done with politeness and flattery.

Confidence is the key.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

It is all in your imagination, homie.

I've approached close to probably 200 women in the past few years and less than 5% of them have ever shown obvious signs of uncomfortableness or looked at me as weird.

What about the rest of the 95% of the time?

The rest of the times have been filled with complimentary remarks on my boldness, and even my rejections are done with politeness and flattery.

Confidence is the key.

"you gotta break some eggs to make an omellete. im sure i creeped out tons of girls over the years".

That was a powerful quote or statement I heard from another guy, a dating coach, who gives advice to men, it's in regards to men getting better at just approaching or interacting with women. I just want to be sure I interpret it or have the right mindset and that is, men even have to risk getting labeled creepy or just even screw up and mess up interactions, that results in getting negative reactions from women as in the woman is uncomfortable from the man's presence, makes her feel uncomfortable As in its part of the journey of getting better, do I have the right mindset or not?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So you creeped out 8-10 women in the past few years. How many did you creep out before you started cold approaching?

Let me shed a little light on your bullshiit sarcasm.

I think I shared this before, but a few years ago I was active in softcore erotica (light porn).

Not on screen, but off screen (cameraman/director) of my own produced content.

Before I even began cold approaching for hook-ups, I had to grow balls big enough to be able to approach women and ask them if they'd like to perform on cam if they were paid a set amount.

Those women were included in that less than 5 percent thing I mentioned.

What does this mean?

It means that from my experience, I barely even got negative reactions from women that I propositioned for business-related porn activity...and you'd think that this would have "incoming negative reactions" written all over it...but it didn't.

So it is extremely less likely that those reactions would be given in a typical cold approach situation.

In other words, it doesn't happen often...or not often enough to be concerned about.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

"you gotta break some eggs to make an omellete. im sure i creeped out tons of girls over the years".

That was a powerful quote or statement I heard from another guy, a dating coach, who gives advice to men, it's in regards to men getting better at just approaching or interacting with women. I just want to be sure I interpret it or have the right mindset and that is, men even have to risk getting labeled creepy or just even screw up and mess up interactions, that results in getting negative reactions from women as in the woman is uncomfortable from the man's presence, makes her feel uncomfortable As in its part of the journey of getting better, do I have the right mindset or not?

I think messing up interactions is more of a concern...and I am one to advocate short interactions rather than long ones (day game).

And I am a firm believer of women not being creeped out by guys they find attractive.

You get better by building confidence.

Hit the gym, build muscle, lose fat.

Then approach one woman per day, and see for yourself.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I think messing up interactions is more of a concern...and I am one to advocate short interactions rather than long ones (day game).

And I am a firm believer of women not being creeped out by guys they find attractive.

You get better by building confidence.

Hit the gym, build muscle, lose fat.

Then approach one woman per day, and see for yourself.

yeah, i just wonder if its inevitable for most guys or just many guys, to mess up or screw interactions when approaching, to either creep the girl out or make her feel uncomfortable, awkward or weirded out, as in, its part of the processs of getting better, as in, learning from our mistakes? i wonder if you or many guys out there, who became better with women, had interactions with women in which they got thrown those labels or perceived that way.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

yeah i wonder that is part of the process

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

yeah, i just wonder if its inevitable for most guys or just many guys, to mess up or screw interactions when approaching, to either creep the girl out or make her feel uncomfortable, awkward or weirded out, as in, its part of the processs of getting better, as in, learning from our mistakes?

I don't think it's inevitable (and in fact HIGHLY unlikely) for a guy to screw up interactions or creep the girl out.

For at least 3 reasons..

1. If the guy is confident in himself and has a PLAN of action, then he is less likely to screw up.

"Chance favors the prepared mind".

If you go in prepared, the probability of screwing up decreases.

2. Women/girls are not creeped out by guys they find attractive. They are only creeped out by guys they find unattractive and/or have little to zero interest in.

When a woman finds you attractive, you can't approach her quick enough.

3. Most of you guys are night gamers anyway, which increases your chances of talking to women who may be more receptive to your presence & conversation due to the social nature of the environment (late night parties, clubs, bars, etc).

i wonder if you or many guys out there, who became better with women, had interactions with women in which they got thrown those labels or perceived that way.

On cold approaching? None that I can think of.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I don't think it's inevitable (and in fact HIGHLY unlikely) for a guy to screw up interactions or creep the girl out.

For at least 3 reasons..

1. If the guy is confident in himself and has a PLAN of action, then he is less likely to screw up.

"Chance favors the prepared mind".

If you go in prepared, the probability of screwing up decreases.

2. Women/girls are not creeped out by guys they find attractive. They are only creeped out by guys they find unattractive and/or have little to zero interest in.

When a woman finds you attractive, you can't approach her quick enough.

3. Most of you guys are night gamers anyway, which increases your chances of talking to women who may be more receptive to your presence & conversation due to the social nature of the environment (late night parties, clubs, bars, etc).



On cold approaching? None that I can think of.

as for number 2, well yes i can believe that, they are only creeped out by men they are not attracted to, but obviously, the only way men can find out if the woman is attracted to him is if the man approaches her, and obviously there is going to be a risk or chance that women will get approached by men that they are not attracted to.

Here is another comment i got from a dating/seduction coach, he said:

"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

as for number 2, well yes i can believe that

Great job of glossing over #1, which places emphasis on a man's CONFIDENCE.

Confident men don't mess up interactions, which was the point.

Gain/build confidence and the rest will fall into place.

That point should not be dismissed.

, they are only creeped out by men they are not attracted to, but obviously, the only way men can find out if the woman is attracted to him is if the man approaches her

My point was that if a woman is going to be creeped out by a guy, chances are, she found him unattractive.

I retract "only"..because being unattractive doesn't necessarily entail being creeped out by a woman.

The main idea is; either the woman is feeling you or she isn't...and while you don't know if she feeling you until you approach her, if you work on certain things you can control (physical appearance; lose weight, build muscle), then you simply shoot your shot and if you miss; move on.

, and obviously there is going to be a risk or chance that women will get approached by men that they are not attracted to.

Let me put it to you this way; I've been rejected more than I've been selected.

I assume that all the women who've rejected me did not find me attractive.

And of those, only a small handful have expressed uncomfortableness.

That says a lot.

Here is another comment i got from a dating/seduction coach, he said:
"It's the learning process. EVERY guy goes through that. Every GIRL goes through similar things, where she reacted in some awkward way to a guy, shooed away a guy she regrets shooing away and now assumes probably hates her, etc., etc. The way you deal with it is by continuing to improve socially, so you can be SMOOTH instead of awkward. This is what everyone does, men and women alike. It is part of the GROWING UP PROCESS."

so is making mistakes socially with women, as in, getting labeled or perceived as creepy or weird when approaching, messing up interactions in which the woman was uncomfortable, is that part of the process of getting better?

I've always been confident in my social interactions with women, and my experiences only reflect a small percentage of uncomfortableness in my social interactions with women (on her part, not mines).

So I can't relate to that.

For those that can relate to that, all I can do is recommend what has helped me, which goes back to my #1 point; confidence & preparation.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Let me shed some light on my 'bullshiit sarcastic' comment.
My question was genuine. If you do cold approach, especially in the beginning when you're inexperienced and not socially calibrated, you will probably creep out women with your awkwardness, but you can check your progress by how many women used to be creeped out by your approaches and how many women are creeped out now. If you used to creep out 8-10 women a year, and now you creep out 2-4 women a year, there's positive progress. You're getting better at interacting with women, the fewer the awkward moments get.

I'm an experienced motorcyclist. Someone asked me how to measure when a motorcyclist in experienced: is it in how many motorcycles they had ridden? Or how many miles? Or how many advanced riding courses they had taken?
My answer was, how many times do you get surprised when riding a motorcycle? The inexperience motorcyclist gets surprised a lot: other road users do something they didn't expect; the braking distance differs on unfamiliar road surfaces; et cetera. But if you challenge yourself on your motorcycle by riding in a lot of different circumstances, you won't be surprised as much as in the beginning and there will come a point that you don't get surprised anymore by other road users doing stupid shiit.

Same with approaching women. When you're inexperienced, you will get awkward responses, but with practice and challenging yourself you will get better at assessing a woman's receptiveness and interest, and the awkward responses become fewer and fewer until you're experienced and don't make women uncomfortable anymore.

I disagree with the notion that a woman will give a guy an awkward response should he approach her.

Not to say that it doesn't happen, but it is so rare that it should not be a consideration.

Sounds like you guys have been watching too many TV shows/movies, where shiit like this have been overdramatized for dramatic effects.

When you actually step out into the real world for practical purposes, you will find that women aren't these standoffish, freaked-out national geographic creatures that get nervous breakdowns when approached by guys.

On average, worse-case scenario is she will let you down gently and that is the end of story.

All of that over-the-top, creeped out shiit is Hollywood.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Great job of glossing over #1, which places emphasis on a man's CONFIDENCE.

Confident men don't mess up interactions, which was the point.

Gain/build confidence and the rest will fall into place.

That point should not be dismissed.



My point was that if a woman is going to be creeped out by a guy, chances are, she found him unattractive.

I retract "only"..because being unattractive doesn't necessarily entail being creeped out by a woman.

The main idea is; either the woman is feeling you or she isn't...and while you don't know if she feeling you until you approach her, if you work on certain things you can control (physical appearance; lose weight, build muscle), then you simply shoot your shot and if you miss; move on.



Let me put it to you this way; I've been rejected more than I've been selected.

I assume that all the women who've rejected me did not find me attractive.

And of those, only a small handful have expressed uncomfortableness.

That says a lot.



I've always been confident in my social interactions with women, and my experiences only reflect a small percentage of uncomfortableness in my social interactions with women (on her part, not mines).

So I can't relate to that.

For those that can relate to that, all I can do is recommend what has helped me, which goes back to my #1 point; confidence & preparation.

so i assume you are described as a man who is natural? a man who never needed a mentor or never needed a coach to improve your dating life?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

so i assume you are described as a man who is natural? a man who never needed a mentor or never needed a coach to improve your dating life?

Hell yeah I've had mentors along the way.

One of the main things I've learned by way of coaching/advice is this logical principle..

You do NOT need to take women out on dates first, in order to get them in the bed.

This is contrary to how most men think, as it has been ingrained in our minds that a date is the first step in sleeping with a woman.

However, I've learned that this is not necessarily true...and knowing what I know now, my "dating" life has improved.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Hell yeah I've had mentors along the way.

One of the main things I've learned by way of coaching/advice is this logical principle..

You do NOT need to take women out on dates first, in order to get them in the bed.

This is contrary to how most men think, as it has been ingrained in our minds that a date is the first step in sleeping with a woman.

However, I've learned that this is not necessarily true...and knowing what I know now, my "dating" life has improved.

you sought help from PUAs or seduction coaches?