A couple of months pass. I gradually begin to develop the attitude that I don't really need a girl (obviously a good attitude to have), although I was still into her, and I gain a little confidence back. Several attractive girls begin to chase me somewhat, and since I was still essentially "all for" this one particular girl, I didn't pay them much attention, which only increased their attraction to me. The entire time, I thought, "Well isn't it just my luck that all of the girls like me now except the one I'm enamored with?" I connected the dots a little bit at this point, but nothing truly mindblowing occured, so my mentality didn't do a 180 or anything.
So a few months later, I find out they have broken up, just after prom. Apparently he was more into smoking pot than her....he would blow her off to go home and smoke, he argued constantly, had fake confidence that she ended up seeing through once they were together, and by the end of the relationship, there was a good chance he was cheating on her. I had suspected all of this would come to pass, and told her so. Of course she immediately began an outpouring of "How could I have been so stupid?" and such words. She even told me that she wasn't sure how it had happened....she said in effect, "Only a week or so before we started going out, I saw no possibility of us (her and the guy) ever being more than friends." At that point, I wondered to myself how big of an impact losing my cool just a week before they started dating had on her feelings for him. Ouch.
For the next month or so, she showed consistant signs of interest in me again. This time around, I told myself again and again that I would not screw up this time, that I would simply bide my time and try to highlight my attractive qualities more. Although I was still decidedly an AFC in many of my thoughts, I had somewhat learned from my mistakes. However, there were still many mistakes left for me to make before the saga was complete.
Whenever I had to leave some social gathering earlier than most people, I would begin to sulk just thinking about the missed opportunities I would have to create a positive impression (bad, but what here isn't? haha). After all, her previous boyfriend had almost ALWAYS showed up to whatever she went to, and that had somehow worked for him.
There were many small things that I believe gradually killed her attraction to me the second time around, but they are irrelevent. Point being, I didn't do a very good job the second time around, either. Around the time school ended, I noticed my friend who had threatened to ask her out if I didn't seemed to always be in the same places she was, whether at an assembly or in a line. I asked him whether he liked anyone in particular one weekend, and he confessed he'd gradually developed feelings for her as of late, and he hoped that they wouldn't ruin our friendship. For a day or two, I worried about the prospect of fighting over a girl with my friend, especially since this was the same friend who had indirectly caused me so much pain and frustration a few months prior. Thankfully, I finally decided that the whole situation wasn't that big of a deal, and I would probably come off better in the long run if I just continued to play it cool.
School was over. I believe I started to act somewhat needy again around this time, which was unfortunate to say the least. A little after this, I noticed a definate change in her behavior toward me. When she had once been bubbly and enthusiastic with me, she became far more reserved....cold even. At first, I worried about what I could have possibly done to cause this change....how had I completely blown it this time? Just as I had during the school year, I spent much of my time in thought about her behavior, which is usually a worthless endeavor when overdone.
Finally, one fateful night came in early June. Whether real or imagined, my mind put two and two together and came to the conclusion that my friend who liked her was over at her house, alone. I stressed out thinking about this possibility until the wee hours of the morning, when another one of my friends said such an occurance at this point was highly unlikely. Another friend gave me the address to this website and told me to look at it some, although I didn't that night. Nevertheless, the next morning, I stressed out again for a few hours. This time, however, my constant thought turned out to be a godsend.
I began to re-realize several truths regarding girls and relationships that I had realized on and off over the course of the past year, yet never implemented or allowed to fully click. This time was different, though....the effect was akin to several light bulbs coming on in very quick succession. Obviously at this point I was angry about the state of my romantic life and about all of the highs and lows I had experienced on the rollercoaster of emotion I rode all of the past year.
In the course of a few short hours, I figured out exactly where I had gone wrong in the past year and what characteristics were actually desirable to a girl, many the opposite of what the AFC in me thought were correct. Later that day, I visited this website and felt a gigantic grin spread across my face as all I had concluded earlier that day was confirmed through the articles and shared experiences viewable here.
Over the past months, I've read most of the articles on this site and delved a little into the experiences of other guys on the forums. As I've done so, my confidence has skyrocketed and stayed there, even as this girl behaved coldly to me at times. I used neg hits, teasing, and obvious confidence around girls lately, and the results I've gotten have been incredible. Even girls I'd been friends with for two years were all over me at a party I went to recently....I was typically the center of their attention, they were always laughing at anything remotely funny I said, and they initiated kino like crazy.
Last night, the friend I keep referring to told me that he and the girl I was chasing for so long have been "casually dating" for a little over a month, which explains her behavior toward me. Frankly, I couldn't be happier. I have a slew of girls who are interested in me at this point just from very occasional encounters, and I'm looking forward to furthering my prospects.
Lately I've been on a relentless path of self-improvement, and I'm loving the increased confidence I have. Apparently, the ladies love it too, and I'm all for that, just so long as they don't get in the way of my life.
I'm gonna be floored if someone read all of that, but hey, awesome if you did, and it was for my own edification to begin with. These things are so much cooler once you put them in writing.
