What was your breaking point from nice guy to dj?

kevin18

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I lost 20 years of my life being a nice guy. I was raised by my mom and became a wussy. One month ago after 2 years of joy my girlfriend dump me I remember I was crying like a baby in front of her...I though I would die... Don't get played don't do the same mistake that we did. I realized that being nice guy sucks and love do not exist it is fake like santa.
 

MuayThai

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Not breaking with tradtion.....

So wilst my dad was working 12 hours a day, my mum was raising me and (with help from my sister) shoving woman philosiphy down my throat untill I turned into a wimpy, sissy, fantasy obsessed, nice guy.
After growing up and slightly toughening up, I meet her. Pretty, smart, super sexual, great in bed, funny , adventerous, sweet, caring, strong and wanting the same sort of relationship as me.
*sigh* After 2 months of dating she freaks because of the nice guy attitude, I beg (I mean really beg) and she comes back. well it didnt work and i knew a change was nessessary.

Years later im macking and fvcking like there is no tommrow.

Stay strong.
 

resilient

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Just got out of a relationship with a girl I lost the big V to. I thought I was going to wait till marriage, but got so sick of waiting and not having any fun, so I made an exception to the rule. Met and traveled with her on a young to adult vacation entourage in Europe this whole summer/fall. We split up before leaving London to come back to the US. I live in So Cali but she lives in Nor Cali. She couldn't commit so it dragged on for months, until she finally called it off this month so she could "find herself" (just turned 22).

I was frustrated that I could never make a relationship last longer than my 3 month average, so I promised myself I would learn how to better myself so I can keep the girl by learning from all the AFC mistakes I made that chased her away.

I've got a long long way to go from being a major nice guy to DJ status next year. Going to take lots of practice, but I'm loving the challenge already and I'm driven to gaining more self-respect and confidence in my abilities! Kicking the insecurity and self-doubt garbage to the curb!
 

DiMallio

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as i said in my intro in the discussion area:

was in a LTR for 4 years and needed to rebuild my old confidence so i got back in 'training' so to speak !!
 

Exo

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Two years ago, was at a party with some friends and after my 4th beer one of my budd's dares me to go hit on like the hotest chick there.

I'd read the bible before buit everytime I went up to a girl everything is lost, that time though I got it. Walked up to her strait as I could and said "Damn, you'r like that queen bee with worker drones drones buzing, in line for a hump!". I have the ability to look reasonably sober and the light was low and my breath decent(mints and chips). So first she gave me a slightly shocked look. Dont remember exactly what hapened then but I briefly explained and added "it's a lot easier to get when your as smart as me". She was going to say something but I was about to leave and ,this is cool, had this sudden "tingling DJ sense" to turn round and ask for her number. Got the digits and a round of vodka from the mates!

We went out for a while but she was too clingy so I ditched her.

IMHO I went back to "near AFC" last year(2005) in a giant rut thats only coming out now(with my GCE's up this january). Finally aproached this chick that turned out to be a female DJ with a little help froma friend and uptill being grounded for not studying I've aproached several salesgirls at those big butique-ish shops(and got allmost kicked out by the assholle manager).
 

NHY

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I can say my path to my breaking point was a little bit more different, similar in some sense but different in another.

As BOTH my parents worked when I was a child, I was left to be raised by my grandmother and the media. Of course, I brought the whole ' find your soulmate ' idea and ended up becoming an AFC, this is where the similarity to many here stops.

When I was 10, was my sister was born into the household and at this point, the family thought they'd ' help ' by taking away my two sources of escape at the time; Video Games and me drawing comics based around them. Now, taking away the video game was the easy bit but what happened next is something I still find hard to justify.

I was literally told by EVERYONE in the house ' Stop drawing childish crap, you must grow up, be a man, repress everything! ' Naive me, thinking I was doing the ' right ' thing for myself brought into the idea and that summer, of 97, when I was 11, I saw the Matrix of my family.... painfully, very painfully.

What I saw was my parents developing a full blown alcohol problem and i got caught in the middle of it, with no way to escape it, I was forced to face it full on, to listen to all the arguments, the macho BS that my father spat at my face and being blamed for letting him go out, when trying to stop resulting in him pulling my hair.... HARD and I mean HARD.

What it ment was I develop this idea that somehow, it was MY fault and that my ideals don't matter ' Do as you say or ELSE ' ' IT IS YOUR FAULT WE DRINK! ' and other dieas that should have never gotten into my head and such but then again, I lived as an almost total hermit outside school at the time, so they had me by the balls.

Of course, this caused me to become very depressed and even more AFCish than before, following girls around in silence town and such ( one incident I got ice thrown at me! ) I totally brought the ideal about that being nice is the way to go while when I saw thier boyfriends I used a phrase to sum them up ' Hi, I'm the local neighbourhood Jerk! ' I had a couple of cases of oneitis as well to boot and you know where that went!

The final breaking point occurred when I developed my worst EVER case of oneitis on a girl in my old class at school. Poor girl, she was simply too nice to me for her own good at a time I was very stupid and naive. Then, the falling out happened, lets just say I took a joke wrongly ( I had ZERO tolerance for alcoholics and smokers at the time, for obvious reasons ) and we had a falling out.

Naturally I was gutted and to make things worse, I saw the parents drinking got EVEN WORSE. My brother was one of them now. That didn't help at all, I felt as if I had no friends and that everyone, even teachers, were out to get me. Oh, yeah, did I mention the oneitis with siad girl got even worse to the point I could barely funtion without her in my presense?

I became suicidal to where I was talking to a guy about it openly. At that point, I knew, I had two choices, to either stay as I am and probably end up committing suicide or to take my arms and finally do something I never thought of doing before; Stand My Ground.

Then one fateful night in October 2002, it happened. I let it out, verbally but I still let it out. I told my drunken father how I felt, how his drinking had virtually destroyed me amd he laughed it off, of course and went to bed. After that, I actually felt emotionless, a weight had finally being lifted from me but now I didn't know how to feel, it had being so long since I had smiled or laughed sincerly I thought I'd forgotten how to.

Of course, he came to his senses and realised his errors and even told me he try and get help. I still felt emotionless until that Friday, where I went to the city and purchased a single that unknon to me, when I would listen to it a few hours later, would be the thing that would change my life forever.

The single was a techno track ' Nessaja ' by Scooter.

Always lived my life alone,
Been searching for the place called home.
I know that I've been cold as ice,
Ignored the dreams, too many lies.
Somewhere deep inside, Somewhere deep inside me,
I found ... the child I used to be
And I know that it's not too late
Never too late...


Trust me, that chorus and the rest of the lyrics of the song. Just ' did it ' it give me my drive back, a drive to succed over what had being put in front in me. I actually felt happy for the first time in a very long time.

That was the start of my spritual journey. My school grades improved, everything improved. I gave up the whole zero tolerance against people who drink / smoke idea, as it was stupid and limiting and no longer needed. For aw hile, I didn't a F*** anymore. At first, the reason I was doing was because of my case of oneitis but over time, it became for me and me alone.

Then, early 2003, I first found here, through a google search when I was bored one night. The article struck a chord with me and I bookmarked it and over time, I started to check out the rest of the site. I read the stuff a lot but it didn't really sink, as I stil lhad oneitis. I even joined the fourms, as a bit of wannabe great before my time. ( ahem )

Then, for some strange reason, I left. I thought I didn't need the stuff here. I was wrong. I didn't return until 2005. When I was in college and my old oneitis had moved far away. I was more ready to accept the information now and started to read it all again. I started posting again as well.

So where am I today? On my way to becoming a DJ, even iwth the added obstable of alcoholic parents, I'm still determined to make it. I am on my way there, I can tell you. Now, I can say, in all honestly, I don't care about the fact I'm still single and never had a G/F, it does get to me at times but its rare.

The journey is far from complete and I say its a lifelong thing as well, once a DJ, I you have to keep on reminding yourselves of what you've learned, its bit like AA, one slip and your F***ed, back to square 1! Hopefully, with the knowledge I've gained, I'm better off than like 99% of guys in my howntown! :cool:

Phew! That took me over an hour to type!
 

KontrollerX

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Becoming the latest victim of a Histrionic Personality Disordered sociopath that taught me our relationship was merely a game and that life is a war and those that are not the predators in it are most certainly the prey.

This is what this site is all about.

Its about becoming the predator and the most efficient one that you can be.
 

MrS

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I'm still a nice guy, but not a nice guy who gets ****ed over and doesn't know how to seduce women, or gets nervous in front of lots of people.
:)
It was when I fell in love this time last year, got some mental asskicking, found the site through a friend, the things that were said that happened to AFCs I had suffered the same, so here I am, a DJ today :)
 

mistermarc

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i just love women...and the more the merrier!...have always been that way...they just fascinate me!
 

Blackdragon5095

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When i first found this site and learned about nice guy vs. jerk. I didn't want to be a jerk anyway. After putting up with crap from this 1 hb7 blonde who had me in ( use me emotion support pool ) I decided to just start ignoring her. Now days she looks away when she sees me and never talks to me and I never talk to her anymore. I talk to her friends and flirt with them. But my nice guy days with her are gone. I'm not gonna be a nice guy or a jerk I'm gonna be a real man.
 

KingBeef

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[

What I saw was my parents developing a full blown alcohol problem and i got caught in the middle of it, with no way to escape it, I was forced to face it full on, to listen to all the arguments, the macho BS that my father spat at my face and being blamed for letting him go out, when trying to stop resulting in him pulling my hair.... HARD and I mean HARD.

] quote from NHY....

NHY i can truly relate to you on this issue (not the alcohol unfortunately, thank god for me) I truly hate, HATE ARROGANT FATHER BS....we're too good for that.


As far as my breaking point for me....AND I WANT ALL YOU NICE GUYS TO KNOW BECAUSE THIS SHOULD REALLY HIT HOME FOR MANY OF YOU...

There was this beautiful, incredibly adorable latin girl who worked at my store at the time. She was incredibly smart, sweet, great body, you name it....but she was too nice....TOO NAIVE. She would date a-holes (and i mean arrogant bastards) from work who would of course purposely try to bang her but when she found out eventually their motives, she'd break up with them before anything happened.
One day, she was at her locker changing to go home, i was with her, she looked frustrated so i asked "what's wrong?"... she said she keeps dating the wrong guy, rumors would fly around about her, etc. etc. And at the time i was honestly infatuated with her....but here is where i messed up.

The GREAT GUY in me SHOULD'VE...... consoled her and tell her what i felt about her, but.....

The NICE GUY in me (lacking confidence and thinking to unselfishly)...still consoled her but told her to never date anyone from the store again since all guys can't be trusted.

I didn't realize at the time the grave i made for myself. :( :cry:

As months would pass we started to talk more and more and the more i knew about her, her education, family, goals, i strongly realized that this girl is not only incredible, but everything i could ever dream for. But how could i go back on what i said previously....she told me that she learned her lessons.

Then comes this guy, tall, masculine, confident guy who sees what i sees but doesn't hesitate. When i was busy at work, he would go up to her and have small talk. When i was burrying myself in work, "he" would make time to go to her and play emotional games with her. When i was wasting my time away with budget figures, "he" would take her to the office, isolate her from the rest of the world and sweet talk her (tell her everything that i so desperately wanted to tell her but was too coward? shy? lacked inner self? lacked confidence? fear of rejection??? i could go on and on.

To make a long story short, this guy (who to be quite honest, is no where as good looking as me, as fit as me, as intelligent as me) won her because he had CONFIDENCE AND TOLD HER HOW HE FELT...and most importantly DIDN'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS won the girl. Incredibly VERY BITTER pill to swallow, I know i'm better....but I DIDN'T SHOW HER THAT I WAS BETTER :(
i'am an incredible guy....but I DIDN'T MAKE HER FEEL THAT :( :(

To all you nice guys out there....I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO CHANGE INTO SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE.... I am a very kind soul....and i'm PROUD OF THAT. I would help anybody if they needed anything, BUT I WILL NOT SACRIFICE LOVE, PLEASURE OR MY GOALS IN LIFE FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!!

Nice guy who is too nice to say how he feels never gets the girl :(
Great guy (nice guy with confidence and testosterone and fortitude) CAN WIN THE GIRL :up: :up:

I hope that i helped some of you guys understand, thanks

- kingbeef
 

BxPrince24

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My breaking point was about a year and a half ago. It just seemed like I would live my life forever without a girlfriend. I was a nice guy, but a loner. I had popular friends but I'm sure other than me being a great artist, most of them probably didn't think much of me other than I'm a cool person.

I started to hate women because of the little tests and games they put men through. I just concentrated on my art and decided that I'll be happy for the rest of my life as long as I have a pencil and paper to draw with.

I was trying to get with two girls at the time. One of them, beautiful short latin chick who's very flirtacious to everyone except me. I managed to become her friend and I tried to take it further. I called her and I tried to set up a date. She was like sure, she'd go. but she flaked. I know that my attitude/behavior wasn't much don juan then and that's probably why she flaked. I never took it back up. I'd see her flirting with mad guys, even tongue kissing a friend of hers. I just got very jealous and forgot about her... back into my lone rider stance.

Then I tried getting with the other girl. Another nice latin chick. The settings were right but I didn't make the moves. At this point, I was an *******. I said what I wanted and did as I pleased. But I never made a move... I felt she was waiting for it, but no balls to move forward on what I started. She moved on and I forgot about her.

I couldn't take it anymore... the loneliness... I needed a great girl to call my own. I never had good luck with women, except for last year, where i got into my first real relationship because of this site. But I know I still have a long way to go. Hopefully I wont be single for the rest of the year. I plan not to.
 

newbieluv

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I decided to change my life around when I was in 2 back to back situations that made me realize some things that Ive read on this website. Bare with me this is my first post. I moved across state lines to get away from a girl who Ive persued for 2 years and nothin' I ended up pissin her off so much that she hated my guts. It got so bad that during the last few months she asked me to clean her shoes for her because she stepped on dog shiet!!!!!And I did!!!!!, go ahead give it to me guys, I can take it. In the new state I met a girl, and in the first week we hit it off. But then we were friends again. Now prior to movin' I was readin alot of David D's newsletter articles. But after meeting this girl I kinda forgot alot of it. So it goes. The only good thing out of this experience with the new girl was that I got laid. 2 differences with both girls was that the first one was a bitter teenage mother who hated and used men. The second girl was a smart, beautiful ambitious college student who really wasnt ready for a longterm relationship. She was the good one I lost. After getting frustrated and loosing control I began to treat her bad. She showed up one day with a hickey from another dude, I have since stopped talkin to her. This is my frist rejection after discovering David D and this great website. Many of the postings and articles ive read so far tell me that rejection is just one of the things to face on my way to Don Juandom. But this shiet still hurts like a mutha...!
 

Heart Break Kid

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Wow... I remember it so well.

Many years ago, back in my last year of junior high I liked this girl who was my friend. I thought she was ideal and all the oneitis crap--I was a totally clueless keyboard jockey who heard of Ross Jeffries (ugh). I went to a party at her house and got her a 31$ gift; her fav movie which she didn't have. The whole party sucked (try sitting infront of a tv stuck on the canadian version of MTV for 2 hours) which her friends were all dating each other--she had said it was like 3 people...guess again. The girl I liked was with some 20 year old emo guy (yes we were in grade 8 and he was emo--this is also like the 4th time they broke and split), this other guy was totally whipped by a (literally) femanist girl [who's pretty ugly] and the others were just ugly long haired skater people. I'm not that superficial but they were all being weird and lame--I know half of them are on pills and something just snapped inside me. I no longer liked her at all and I just asked for my friend (the one girl there who I don't feel digusted at) for her phone and got outta there. I went straight to gym and worked out for a good hour thinking about my life. After I went to the health store and got myself both creatine and whey protein which i've been on ever since. When I went home I figured out exactly what I wanted in a woman. I had the number of a girl who liked me and I was in contact with another very beautiful girl who wasn't afraid of her sexuality. I also decided it was time to go out in the field.

Soon enough marks raised, fashion changed, veins appeared, grew big, looks changed, goals were set, inner game raised, outergame studied, 1000 woman approached, eyes filled with fire...
And I was reborn.
 

HoneyHitter

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My breaking point occurred when I realized women that are "below-your-standard" will not automatically put you on a pedestal, and give more and better sex.

When you're an AFC, even ugly chicks will think they're the ultimate prize for you. So never go for less, because you will get to deal with the same - if not worse - sh!t tests!
Master your DJ skills and don't EVER pity ugly chicks.
 

comic_relief

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My breaking point was during my tenth grade year. In December 2004 or January 2005, I was infatuated by a girl and got suspended from school for fighting. I then found sosuave and haven't been looking back.

comic_relief
 

Rebound Material

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WOW...this thread actually started during the height of my AFCness back in junior year of high school...anyways, like most of the replies here, it was when I was dropped by the first girl I thought liked nice guys(she thought I was a jerk and thats what really attracted her to me)a year ago and after that, discovering this site.

Also, when I saw the quote by Wee Willy:

"Inside every player likes the grave of a nice naive guy killed by heartache"
 
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