Like many others, when I arrived in college, I was very eager to make up for past damage... I wanted to get layed ASAP, and was willing to do anything for it, long story:
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In highschool I was a straigth up loser, and so were my friends, stuck with them I had no oppertunity to change. Though I looked good and wasen't stupid, I didn't have the courage to seduce women.
I've had some girlfriends before, who used me, but everytime I learned something new. I was 18, that summer I joined the bootcamp, I survived till week 4, then I had a new girlfriend. An HB8, very nice looking and fun girl. She used me badly and dumped me EXTREMLY hard. One day she acts like she wants me, the next day she's yelling I'm an *sshole. I really liked her, but it alwayse felt like she was doing stuff behind my back, which she did. I learned to thrust my gut.
Then I arrived in college, and had some SUPER parties, the first month I got drunk every day, drowning my sorrow. Second month I had so much other stuff on my mind that I forgot about her. Everyday something else with my mates. We went paintballing with a bunch of mates and thats when I met my first REAL girlfriend. Another girl who used me, but she was my first and I loved her. One day I realised how badly she made me feel because she was using me, and I dumped her.
6 months laters, and I'm still in agony, I couldn't stop thinking of her, i begged her to take me back. She kissed me and said she didn't feel anything for me. That's where I realised that nice guys never win. I had been the nice guy all my life. That night, I buried The nice guy...
I was hurt, and you could see it, whatever came in my mind, I said it. If I asked a girl out and I was thinking about fvcking her, I said it to her. I couldn't care less, I didn't feel for any of them. That's how I learned not to fear my sexuality, cause it happened alot where I thought she was gonna blow me off for saying such things, that they even wanted me more... For being a bad boy who said whatevers on his mind. I was the rebel...
Somewhere along the way, the pain started to vanish, and I started finding balance between my new self and being a good guy (not nice guy). I was able to charm people while staying myself.
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In short, first time my heart broke, I learned to be myself and how to have fun, second time, my heart didn't brake, it got shattered, I snapped, and I learned how to seduce women and how not to be used by them. I learned to TRUELY be myself.
Then one of my best friends died... Again, I snapped, thats when I became a DJ. I realised how short life is and how much I still want to achieve and do. I gained ambitions, I gained lust for life...
This summer I'm designing a combustion engine and when the designs are done I'm going to make that engine, In all it will need 8 months of dedication.
At the end of the year, I'll have my degree mechanical design and productiontechnologie... After that, I'm going to university and get my master degree in "practical economical sciences".
This is what I want, this is who I wanna become...
I thought I understood what pook was babbling about when I first read his articles, but its only recently I finally really understand what the fvck pook was trying to say...
Greetz