Erm...a "NORMAL" life includes the things I have mentioned. When a man stops treating the woman he's with like a woman and shows no interest in her and isn't willing to share new experiences with her she's going to react in a bad way...like gaining a lot of weight and completely losing interest in sex. To a woman, her sexual desire for a man is connected to how the man treats her and the relationship. Anyone who fails to recognize this is not going to have successful relationships.
What does she mean?
- Thread starter BigFoot
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I have to say, I'm a bit lazy at the moment, so I'm a little hesitant to get into anything right now. I go through phases, and being that I just got out of something that seemed to be very good (I actually wasn't even lazy about it and always suggested doing stuff) I just don't feel the desire to go out and get into anything now, which is probably the reason for my perspective.
Either way, I agree, there is a certain amount of work you need to do, and you can't just sit on your arse. I'm not that kind of guy, but I can tell you now that I'm also not the kind of guy who feels the need to always be doing something new and exciting, that gets tiring to me.
Either way, I agree, there is a certain amount of work you need to do, and you can't just sit on your arse. I'm not that kind of guy, but I can tell you now that I'm also not the kind of guy who feels the need to always be doing something new and exciting, that gets tiring to me.
The only problem I may see in this is that the last girl I was seeing kept feeding me crazy canned lines like "I want what I can't have" and stuff like that, and I don't want to take the time to decipher this cryptic garbage. I think that women don't understand that some guys don't like to play word games.
Well, from what you described your last girlfriend wasn't normal and just expected you to entertain her all the time. Most women aren't like that, though. You might just be lazy now from being a bit burnt out with that last girl. That's to be expected. As long as you realize that having a good relationship does take a little bit of effort you'll be fine.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Ideally you should dump her and get someone better, but in the reality it's not that easy. The thing is I don't know everything about the situation, but the point is she'll never be grateful for your efforts. If you want to change things don't do it at her request. Don't supplicate. Just take her complaining with a wink and a nod and with an eye on finding another girl. Maybe someone else here has some ideas. Let me get back with you when i have more time.
StringShredder
Don Juan
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Wyldfire is a clueless troll who will turn you into a frustrated chump.
What you are talking about here is classic approval-seeking behavior. Your girlfriend criticized you for looking at a menu before going into a restaurant. So if you stop doing that, it will be obvious and pathetic!
The best baseline strategy is to be consistent. Remember that everything that you are, that's what she went for. Her current behavior is that she is in fact with you.
You look at the menu before entering a restaurant because you have good reasons for doing that, and no whiny chick is going to change your rationale.
I would have told her right away, ``Hey fvck off, if I want to look at a menu before entering some lame freaking restaurant, that is my privilege! I care about what I eat. And just so that you know know, while I'm checking out the menu, it gives me a chance to look over the menu, through the window at the waitresses, haha. Just pulling your leg, haha.''
If you want to be less predictable, then, well, you have to choose an unpredictable way to do that, right? Fixing an explicitly criticized behavior is not unpredictability! You only score some points for fixing something about yourself if you figure it out without being told!
Listen to me, I was in a nine year relationship in which I refused almost every attempt to be changed by her. The woman just about hated me, but hung on anyway. In the end I ditched her. If you resist changing something that the woman says bothers her, you would be surprised for how many years she can keep nagging about it, without leaving you. Hahaha.
Wyldfire is not a man, but an old hag. She wants everyone here to be dumped by their young, cute girlfriends and fall into the hands of lame old hags with dried up pvssies.
StringShredder
Don Juan
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That's not what it's about. The issue would be from her side; her maintaining my interest. By not giving in to all my wishes, she would drive me a little bit crazy. It would be a very solid strategy on her part, regardless of how it affects my happiness. If a girl caves in to all my demands, I will certainly not have happiness in the relationship.
Okay, so she starts having sex with me everyday, and still doesn't like it more than once a month. How am I going to feel that a girl is doing something intimate with me way more often that she wants to just to please me? There we are, adjustment made, going at it everyday, and I know she's not liking it. Oh what happiness I feel!
Anyway, you should probably read some introductory psych textbook.
Don_Joffe
Senior Don Juan
What to do...
1. If you want to keep her prove to her that you arent boring.
2. Boring = adventuresome
3. Take her on an adventure experience, I dont know where you live but here are some ideas..
a) Zoo
b) Arcades
c) Go-karting
d) Picnic at the evening
e) Theme park
4. Try something different, do something different, get her a small gift, try new things with her.
5. Once you have done the 4 points ive listed and she still aint interested, YOU must dump HER.
1. If you want to keep her prove to her that you arent boring.
2. Boring = adventuresome
3. Take her on an adventure experience, I dont know where you live but here are some ideas..
a) Zoo
b) Arcades
c) Go-karting
d) Picnic at the evening
e) Theme park
4. Try something different, do something different, get her a small gift, try new things with her.
5. Once you have done the 4 points ive listed and she still aint interested, YOU must dump HER.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
She has low IL because she is bored
Women need to be moved emotionally. I am betting that you did not provide enough emotion stimulus to keep her attracted.
Her saying that it is due your lack of adventure is her finding an external reason in you for her feelings.
Only you know the full details, it could be she is just been polite when using "lack of adventure" as the reason for her drop in IL. It may not be the true underlying reason.
Kaine
Women need to be moved emotionally. I am betting that you did not provide enough emotion stimulus to keep her attracted.
Her saying that it is due your lack of adventure is her finding an external reason in you for her feelings.
People look for evidence for their beliefs (whether they are right of wrong), that menu incident is what she is doing here. She is finding reasons to justify her conclusion.
Only you know the full details, it could be she is just been polite when using "lack of adventure" as the reason for her drop in IL. It may not be the true underlying reason.
Kaine
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
bang her on an elevator, and on a park under a tree or something. public places haha, then ask her what she thinks of adventure
btw, not liking sex every week at least is BULLSHlT!! What she means is I DONT LIKE SEX WITH YOU!
btw, not liking sex every week at least is BULLSHlT!! What she means is I DONT LIKE SEX WITH YOU!
Wyldfire, I'm just wondering where you get your belief that most women aren't like this. The reason I ask is that it just seems that every girl I've been out with is like this, so either I'm looking in the wrong places, I have really bad luck with women, or we're from different planets
Well, alot of this depends on the age range, too. If you're dating girls under 25 there is a much higher percentage of them being like the last girl you were with. It will get better as you get older. It's a maturity issue. You'll find that girls who have their own hobbies and a more fulfilling life aren't nearly as demanding of being entertained as a girl who doesn't have her own life and hobbies.Originally posted by becker
Wyldfire, I'm just wondering where you get your belief that most women aren't like this. The reason I ask is that it just seems that every girl I've been out with is like this, so either I'm looking in the wrong places, I have really bad luck with women, or we're from different planets
No...Wyldfire is a long time contributor to this forum with posts in the DJ Bible. Clueless posters don't have their posts included in the Bible....kinda like you don't have any Bible posts, but I digress...
No, I'm not a man, which has been readily established since I informed everyone of the fact that I was a woman on the first day I joined this forum. It has also been established that I am not "an old hag" since I shared photos that show me to look pretty damn good for being 39 years old.
Seeing as I am here to give advice and offer input and NOT find dates...I think it's safe to say that I'm not trying to get anyone "dumped". In fact...my advice on this thread has been given in an attempt to help BigFoot save his relationship. It is actually a lot of the guys who are telling him to just dump her when it's so obvious that all he has to do to salvage a relationship he seems otherwise very happy with is to be a little less predictible.
I might advise you that before you make personal attacks on someone's posts that you actually take the time to read and consider what was written first. If it bothers you that I am a woman and post here, it's just too bad and you're going to have to live with it because I'm not going anywhere. In fact...just because you attacked me I am going to post twice as much as what I had planned to night in your honor.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
I have to disagree.
I think her comments on "adventuresome" etc, etc are just veiled notices to him that her IL is dropping
I cannot see how he can change himself at this late date to change this. She has an opinion of him, which I think will be impossible to change, unless he reveals himself to be a secret agent, pretending to be dull to hide his identity.
Its over, he is better off changing his actions with the NEXT woman. This one has made up her mind.
Anything he does now will be a waste of time. She will find a different thing to complain about. I think it is over.
We will have to wait a few weeks to see.
Dietzcoi
I think her comments on "adventuresome" etc, etc are just veiled notices to him that her IL is dropping
I cannot see how he can change himself at this late date to change this. She has an opinion of him, which I think will be impossible to change, unless he reveals himself to be a secret agent, pretending to be dull to hide his identity.
Its over, he is better off changing his actions with the NEXT woman. This one has made up her mind.
Anything he does now will be a waste of time. She will find a different thing to complain about. I think it is over.
We will have to wait a few weeks to see.
Dietzcoi
Royal Elite
Banned
She means you are not the great, confident guy she knows You can be. Go out there in life with her show her she is right about the person hiding underneath.
A couple of tips for you/everyone:
Stop doing the same things. When you go to resturants order something different every time.
Don't keep renting the same type of movies.
Stop doing the same date-movies or dinner. It doesn't matter if you guys like it or hate it, newness really makes a big effect on people.
Stop calling at the same time, the same amount of times a day. Some times she calls pick up, but every now and then let it ring. Just be new, and you can turn this around.
Update:
This discussion has been great, and I understand alot more about those seemingly simple comments she made.
I agree with alot of you that it feels odd having Wyldfire on this forum, but she has had some of the best advice and perspective. Since my post, we had a big fight and I basically walked out on her with the mind to forget about her. When I did that, she seemed very upset that I might leave (she actually held on to me so I couldn't leave for a while). I did leave but we talked about things Monday. She's good at hiding her true feelings (something new I have learned), but I sense much of what's been said here is accurate: I need to 'adventure' things up more, be more of a challenge for her so she doesn't get complacent, and get her emotions going more so she has something to talk with her friends about ! This could still end, but I'm hopefull.
This discussion has been great, and I understand alot more about those seemingly simple comments she made.
I agree with alot of you that it feels odd having Wyldfire on this forum, but she has had some of the best advice and perspective. Since my post, we had a big fight and I basically walked out on her with the mind to forget about her. When I did that, she seemed very upset that I might leave (she actually held on to me so I couldn't leave for a while). I did leave but we talked about things Monday. She's good at hiding her true feelings (something new I have learned), but I sense much of what's been said here is accurate: I need to 'adventure' things up more, be more of a challenge for her so she doesn't get complacent, and get her emotions going more so she has something to talk with her friends about ! This could still end, but I'm hopefull.
Well...walking out after a fight wasn't exactly what I meant by "mixing things up a bit", lol. It doesn't sound like she wants to call it quits. She's just trying to send you hints that she's a bit bored with things and that you've fallen into a rut. This is actually one of the easiest "relationship issues" to contend with.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
This relationship will end!!!!....You're not alone....just look at the countless post on this forum... not once have I seen a happy ever after ending....
You still hold out hope for something that is soo fundamentally flawed... Lets face it... you don't have the personality nor balls to tame someone like her and give her happiness.... You're only hangin on because she is all you got at the moment and vice versa.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.