Went through her phone.... - not good

[Glassguy]

OP you're obviously into this chick. You have good sexual chemistry with her.
Ask her what she wants out of this. Tell her what you want out of this. Bottom line, it's been 8 months of back and forth game playing. Either give it a go or let the flame burn out by bringing up what you both want. If she keeps talking about this other guy, just tell her that's not what you're looking for with her and then STOP RESPONDING.
If you both decide to be "exclusive", you should talk about what you both expect....like adults. Which I think is what you really want.

Looking back there are a number of chicks I was banging that I probably should have explored more with, but I was in a different mindset then.
If she rejects you, no big deal. It's the same situation you're going to be in with her I'd you don't lay it out there.
Be a leader and an adult and have the convo with her.

 

[Glassguy]

Oh....never go through a chick's phone. Nothing good will come from it.

 

[Captain Rizz]

Yep, playing games.

When women talk about men being no good fvckboys and game playing- they are talking about you.

Man, his response was proper all things considered. That's just how the game works:

If women behave themselves, you reward them.
If not, you "punish" them by withdrawing attention.

 

[The Diver]

If I remember correctly, six months ago, you dated her for a few months, and you saw her as an LTR girl.
Then you told her about your prison time and that you will kill a man if you need to. From then on, it was down the hill, and she told you she didn't want to date you.
Somehow, you stayed FWB.
She made her mind a long time ago.
But you're playing it like exclusively is on your card, and you'll give it to her if she deserves it.
But the truth is that you can't give her anything. She didn't want you as an LTR guy then and still doesn't want you now.
You can't give or offer her what is not yours to give ( exclusively).

I think you found a girl who doesn't see you as LTR material, which may hurt your Ego to the point that now you must have her.

 

[TheGambino]

If I remember correctly, six months ago, you dated her for a few months, and you saw her as an LTR girl.
Then you told her about your prison time and that you will kill a man if you need to. From then on, it was down the hill, and she told you she didn't want to date you.
Somehow, you stayed FWB.
She made her mind a long time ago.
But you're playing it like exclusively is on your card, and you'll give it to her if she deserves it.
But the truth is that you can't give her anything. She didn't want you as an LTR guy then and still doesn't want you now.
You can't give or offer her what is not yours to give ( exclusively).

I think you found a girl who doesn't see you as LTR material, which may hurt your Ego to the point that now you must have her.

Ye she rejected me just now in the morning, I slept there. That she doesn’t see anything serious .
You are right. We had cex, I went all in told her what I wanted but she says she doesn’t feel the same way and thinks it’s better that we stop.
We kissed and I just left.

I understand that she thinks that it’s too late. That I was playing too much around and that indeed I want ltr now because of my ego because she doesn’t. I could keep her by letting her text me all the time and having good cex and her doubting. Now I feel like it’s too late. I confessed what I wanted and her attraction and trust is probably too low to work to a ltr and indeed that prison thing from then on it went downhill. Well this is it can’t do much now

 

[Bingo-Player]

Read the rest please I’m at hers now but look what she said @Bingo-Player

Seems you're back in the spiders web I'm afraid

 

[TheGambino]

Seems you're back in the spiders web I'm afraid

What does that mean? @Bingo-Player please explain

 

[TheGambino]

If I remember correctly, six months ago, you dated her for a few months, and you saw her as an LTR girl.
Then you told her about your prison time and that you will kill a man if you need to. From then on, it was down the hill, and she told you she didn't want to date you.
Somehow, you stayed FWB.
She made her mind a long time ago.
But you're playing it like exclusively is on your card, and you'll give it to her if she deserves it.
But the truth is that you can't give her anything. She didn't want you as an LTR guy then and still doesn't want you now.
You can't give or offer her what is not yours to give ( exclusively).

I think you found a girl who doesn't see you as LTR material, which may hurt your Ego to the point that now you must have her.

She also said that she made her mind a longer time ago

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Others have said it but it bears repeating, never go through someone's personal comms. Especially a plate.

You either caught feelings OR you are roped into sexual competition or both. Girls will feed off this for a while until they decide to go with the guy who is less drama / more leadership or at least more aloof. There is always one guy who simps more.

I've been both, learned from both experiences but wish I'd had the stones to just eject in situations like that. Live and learn.

I've also gone through a chick's messages, big mistake, only fukks things up. I've had chicks go through mine unknowingly and the conclusions people draw can be insane. Anything can look like cheating if you are looking for signs. In the end I now just let people be what they want and I run my life accordingly.

 

[TheGambino]

If I remember correctly, six months ago, you dated her for a few months, and you saw her as an LTR girl.
Then you told her about your prison time and that you will kill a man if you need to. From then on, it was down the hill, and she told you she didn't want to date you.
Somehow, you stayed FWB.
She made her mind a long time ago.
But you're playing it like exclusively is on your card, and you'll give it to her if she deserves it.
But the truth is that you can't give her anything. She didn't want you as an LTR guy then and still doesn't want you now.
You can't give or offer her what is not yours to give ( exclusively).

I think you found a girl who doesn't see you as LTR material, which may hurt your Ego to the point that now you must have her.

im afraid this is harsh truth @The Diver

 

[The Diver]

indeed, that prison thing from then on went downhill.

Yes, that was a mistake.
Never reveal your past. Some people won't understand it and even use it against you.
Also, never take ill about yourself because it'll devalue yourself in the eyes of the listener.

This train already left the station. It's time to move on.

 

[TheGambino]

I feel fvcking stupid that I told her I see her as ltr potential and that I really want to try. She just craved for my uncertainty, cex, fear of loss but now that she knows that she has me, the thrill for her is over because she means it that the other guy seems as a better option and that I’m not ltr pot for her for a longer time.

why would that be a sh*t test? If her interest level would be so high she wouldn’t dare to say such a thing or even kiss a guy even tho we’re casually hooking up.

I think the fear of loss and letting her chase is what kept this fwb going for so long. Now I showed my cards and she now she’s sure we need to stop.

It’s an tough learning experience for me again. The one thing I’m happy about is that I’m probably glued to the “rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning. I would ltr her in the first months when I could.

We live and learn I guess.

 

[Divorced w 3]

At this point if you guys aren’t vibing beyond the cat and mouse with sex routine you are going to have to get comfortable with how this actually functions or do what is best for you

 

[EyeBRollin]

She also said that she made her mind a longer time ago

Yep. Cause you played games for months. She can’t take you seriously. This was your own doing.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yep. Cause you played games for months. She can’t take you seriously. This was your own doing.

Maybe or not. If she was always this way and never genuine then op is mistaken that there is genuine intention, she would have tipped her hand well before now if she was. So if it’s just sex you have to be able to see it. I have been op on both options, most of us have.

 

[Bokanovsky]

@ABC123

Agree. She said she only kissed. But

Text to her girlfriend

Myplate: he was so * (shy emoji)
Her: did he text you already?
Myplate: no i can’t waiitt

and she mentions. I brought my girlfriend breakfast on bed. (Who does that for her girl friend)

I think she meant him…
She also said that the fiancé of her girl was also in the city going out so she probably went together and my plate took that guy home. Just my gut feeling.

He probably one night standed her so she reaches out to me today after we spent that night I wrote about above. So she keeps me as an option until that guy works out.

just my gut… so yeah your right

I think you're probably right about that. Always trust your gut.

For what it's worth, it seems that this girl does not see you as LTR material. Maybe it's because of something you said or did, maybe it's due to factors outside of your control (or some combination of the two). At the end of the day, if you actually care about her, your best bet is to walk away, as paradoxical as it may sound. The longer you stay in this situation, the more grief you're going to cause yourself.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Lmfao @BPH

I texted her.

Me: In that case I am open to talk.
Her: talk about what?
Me: let’s not do that true WhatsApp but face to face
Her: the guy didn’t text me yet but if he does I’m probably going to date him
Me: ok then do that
Her: will that change anything for you ?

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

 

[Velasco]

“rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning

Yup. Rejection will have you jumping through all sorts of hoops to get her back. Only to treat her like sh1t again not soon after she takes you back. Many such cases

 

[Divorced w 3]

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

It’s pathetic bc it sounds like he’s not being true to himself he’s going to anguish in feeling for her. If it was simply sex he would have no problem hooking up the next few weeks until she made her mind up to commit to the new guy

 

[TheGambino]

It’s pathetic bc it sounds like he’s not being true to himself he’s going to anguish in feeling for her. If it was simply sex he would have no problem hooking up the next few weeks until she made her mind up to commit to the new guy

That’s true. I just cant be intimate with her while sees feeling another guy, that disgusts me.