Went through her phone.... - not good

[The Duke]

I feel fvcking stupid that I told her I see her as ltr potential and that I really want to try. She just craved for my uncertainty, cex, fear of loss but now that she knows that she has me, the thrill for her is over because she means it that the other guy seems as a better option and that I’m not ltr pot for her for a longer time.

why would that be a sh*t test? If her interest level would be so high she wouldn’t dare to say such a thing or even kiss a guy even tho we’re casually hooking up.

I think the fear of loss and letting her chase is what kept this fwb going for so long. Now I showed my cards and she now she’s sure we need to stop.

It’s an tough learning experience for me again. The one thing I’m happy about is that I’m probably glued to the “rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning. I would ltr her in the first months when I could.

We live and learn I guess.

Its true, they crave some uncertainty. But you can't ignore the fact the part you played in this.


Let me make it really clear for ya:
The fact that you are insecure, selfish, indecisive, and have a big undeserving ego thats a cover up for whats lacking beneath the surface is what you really need to focus on.

What in the hell do you expect her to do with a clown like yourself? Youre a drunk all over the road. She can't follow that.

 

[TheGambino]

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

You can read in the comments what happened. I told her I was serious about dating and future exclusivity she declined and said it’s too late for that and we tried. I just fvcked her one more time and bailed out in the morning.

 

[BPH]

I’m trying to learn and move on

Good places to start would be A. not going through a plate's phone and B. not gaslighting that plate for operating in the framework you created.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Here’s one idea but it’s a long shot and dependent on how she views your relationship and herself. Tell her she’s choosing sex over principles if you have received any inclination from her that your relationship is genuine. I don’t think she’s ever implied you guys were doing more than banging but if there was an opportunity to get her anti slvt defense working on your terms that may be a Hail Mary lol

 

[TheGambino]

Here’s one idea but it’s a long shot and dependent on how she views your relationship and herself. Tell her she’s choosing sex over principles if you have received any inclination from her that your relationship is genuine. I don’t think she’s ever implied you guys were doing more than banging but if there was an opportunity to get her anti slvt defense working on your terms that may be a Hail Mary lol

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

 

[BPH]

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Nah where you f***ed up is when you decided she should be exclusive to you when you're not being exclusive to her. You became invasive, indecisive, and manipulative. You set a precedent that she adhered to, and got upset when she adhered to it. Your feelings changed, you don't communicate that, and instead decided to get upset with her for meeting with a guy that values her the way you NOW do.

I don't even know about the whole prison story, though I do remember seeing that post having some impact on this.

You need to become more comfortable being decisive and upfront, and not blaming someone else (this girl) for YOUR mistakes (not communicating that you wanted a LTR, going through her phone, gaslighting her for meeting with another guy while YOU were meeting with other girls, etc).

 

[Gameplayer007]

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Im still reading all the posts to catch up, but yeah dude you need to move on. But take this as a lesson and learn from it. It sounds like to me, from the few posts here and there, just as you put her on a plate, she also put you on a plate too. Imo, the biggest lesson I think you should learn from this is you always imply to her that you're the higher value man. Scarcity creates value, and once you said the "LTR potential" that showed that you entered into her hands at that point.

First though you need to practice self-respect, and I'm going to say that again, practice self-respect. I'll comment maybe more once I've fully read, but it sounds like you went with the flow of being an FWB at some point rather than be the leader. Don't be stuck to one woman or let her be the queen over you dude. Let them know what you want, and if they don't respect that then you walk away. Not worth your time if they try to negotiate something else you don't want. One of the big thing's I've learned with women is when they start disrespecting you, then you need to give them the gift of missing you forever. Now granted the situation I was in is vastly different than yours, but my point in saying that is you need to show her you value yourself so much, that you don't tolerate anything less. But again I haven't read all the comments so I'll let you know more thoughts once fully done

 

[TheGambino]

Im still reading all the posts to catch up, but yeah dude you need to move on. But take this as a lesson and learn from it. It sounds like to me, from the few posts here and there, just as you put her on a plate, she also put you on a plate too. Imo, the biggest lesson I think you should learn from this is you always imply to her that you're the higher value man. Scarcity creates value, and once you said the "LTR potential" that showed that you entered into her hands at that point.

First though you need to practice self-respect, and I'm going to say that again, practice self-respect. I'll comment maybe more once I've fully read, but it sounds like you went with the flow of being an FWB at some point rather than be the leader. Don't be stuck to one woman or let her be the queen over you dude. Let them know what you want, and if they don't respect that then you walk away. Not worth your time if they try to negotiate something else you don't want. One of the big thing's I've learned with women is when they start disrespecting you, then you need to give them the gift of missing you forever. Now granted the situation I was in is vastly different than yours, but my point in saying that is you need to show her you value yourself so much, that you don't tolerate anything less. But again I haven't read all the comments so I'll let you know more thoughts once fully done

appreciate that , let me know

 

[TheGambino]

Nah where you f***ed up is when you decided she should be exclusive to you when you're not being exclusive to her. You became invasive, indecisive, and manipulative. You set a precedent that she adhered to, and got upset when she adhered to it. Your feelings changed, you don't communicate that, and instead decided to get upset with her for meeting with a guy that values her the way you NOW do.

I don't even know about the whole prison story, though I do remember seeing that post having some impact on this.

You need to become more comfortable being decisive and upfront, and not blaming someone else (this girl) for YOUR mistakes (not communicating that you wanted a LTR, going through her phone, gaslighting her for meeting with another guy while YOU were meeting with other girls, etc).

She didn’t know I saw other girls but ok I think she made out with way more guys after seeing this just opening herself to other guys and keeping me as an option for pleasure idd. You are right and the harm is done. I also don’t think I can’t do anything else but move on and stick to nc

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Actually, I believe you f’d up back when you thought telling her that you’d spent time in the hoosegow and that you’d “kill” someone was a way to elevate your thug credibility. At that point any marginally sane woman would put you in the “recreational use only” bracket.

 

[TheGambino]

Actually, I believe you f’d up back when you thought telling her that you’d spent time in the hoosegow and that you’d “kill” someone was a way to elevate your thug credibility. At that point any marginally sane woman would put you in the “recreational use only” bracket.

I swear to god @Pierce Manhammer at that point nothing went smoothly anymore. Everything was a issue, we didn’t date anymore suddenly she was more busy when I suggested to do something fun. She talked to her parents about that and she became more distant. I just hanged on and it turned into a fwb from that point. She’s also a psychologist…

 

[Divorced w 3]

I swear to god @Pierce Manhammer at that point nothing went smoothly anymore. Everything was a issue, we didn’t date anymore suddenly she was more busy when I suggested to do something fun. She talked to her parents about that and she became more distant. I just hanged on and it turned into a fwb from that point. She’s also a psychologist…

I cannot believe this is the same woman
You have been exactly categorized as Pierce said
I think you probably had a legitimate chance early to demonstrate emotional stability. Would have been a long shot and slow but maybe. But from flipping the script and trying to plate her, you had no chance with her being serious

 

[TheGambino]

I cannot believe this is the same woman
You have been exactly categorized as Pierce said
I think you probably had a legitimate chance early to demonstrate emotional stability. Would have been a long shot and slow but maybe. But from flipping the script and trying to plate her, you had no chance with her being serious

well then nothing but nc right? We made out in the morning when we left so obv there’s still attraction. Like I said it is what it is @Divorced w 3

 

[Divorced w 3]

well then nothing but nc right? We made out in the morning when we left so obv there’s still attraction. Like I said it is what it is @Divorced w 3

This woman is going to have sex with other men most likely if you were to reconnect. I hate to say that but if you want to keep banging her I think you just need to keep going and hope you fall into the not let a good thing go camp. Maybe you guys end up bonding. Don’t cut her off. Stop being retarded

 

[TheGambino]

This woman is going to have sex with other men most likely if you were to reconnect. I hate to say that but if you want to keep banging her I think you just need to keep going and hope you fall into the not let a good thing go camp. Maybe you guys end up bonding. Don’t cut her off. Stop being retarded

So if I consider talking to her what would you text and when?
She will reply with.

“ I thought we quit talking? Texting eachother”

 

[BPH]

Here we go again...

 

[TheGambino]

Here we go again...

obv BPH is right. My value is low now in her eyes and if i text complete respect that there was will vanish. He’s right man. I would suggest anyone myself to go NC and move on. @BPH

 

[Divorced w 3]

So if I consider talking to her what would you text and when?
She will reply with.

“ I thought we quit talking? Texting eachother”

I don’t know, try asking her how her day was. Over eight months you must have bonded at some level, say something nice to her

 

[Gamisch]

Reads like a very good example of the modern " situationship"

A lot of nonsense , everyone out for themselves and next to no substance aside from the physical sex

I've been there with girls who I've had a lot of attraction and sexual chemistry with but the problem is these girls who are sexually provocative tend to have this chemistry with a lot of other men too

Ultimately it is the females who start the dance of seduction by luring men onto them , some girls will do it just for the attention others go to far and end up constantly sleeping with a rotation of men which as you say isn't particularly appealing for a man

Women do a relatively good job at keeping this curtain closed from both men and wider society , a lot of the debauchery is done behind closed doors and during late night escapades.....but make no mistake it is happening



This is a tell tale sign she's been a naughty girl ..... women as tactical and devious as they are struggle to mask their true emotions

When they've done something wrong they will always withdraw emotionally and this is what was off even if on the surface she was pretending every thing was fine

It's a mess OP ...... I would end it .

Spot on , Bingo ( as usual)

I will cut OP some slack; its seems like he simply likes a girl and due to that he lost frame yadiya.

But honestly it's just sad. A man can't fall in love with a woman anymore. Soon as be does..see my profile picture!!

The girl is a slvt. So yes, she can bust a nut left right without getting attached.. this is the farthest you can go with this woman. If she becomes you gf she'll cheat on you and she basically announced it upfront.

Actually, to ME it's clear OP saw her as his gf, so imagine the thread would be " my gf told me she'll date another dude although she's been waiting for his text for a week or something ".

It's ugly. But sometimes the fagina makes a man fall in love..

 

[The Duke]

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

You fuhked up well before that. Your ego just won't allow you to comprehend that.