Went through her phone.... - not good

[TheGambino]

Well what do you actually want?

Do you want to date this girl? Do you just want to f*** her like you've been doing, with the knowledge that she's ALSO single and probably seeing other people? Or do you want to stop seeing her?

Figure that out, like ACTUALLY figure it out, then make a decision.

It seems like you're flip flopping back and forth with what you want to do, which is something the woman does. YOU have to be decisive and either go all in, or burn it all down and move on.

I want to keep her as a plate. Fvck her and have fun. Maybe if she is open to date, we can progress it further in something serious but i know it has to be her idea. So what would you do now after that texting conversations? @BPH

 

[BPH]

I want to keep her as a plate. Fvck her and have fun. Maybe if she is open to date, we can progress it further in something serious but i know it has to be her idea. So what would you do now after that texting conversations? @BPH

Really...?

You want to continue doing the very thing that led to the creation of this thread and all this drama; continue to sleep with her while she may be sleeping with other guys because you didn't try to lock her down?

 

[TheGambino]

Really...?

You want to continue doing the very thing that led to the creation of this thread and all this drama; continue to sleep with her while she may be sleeping with other guys because you didn't try to lock her down?

ye at least keep her as a plate and fvck her while looking for other options. Also look how she will threat me. What do you say? @BPH

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP: based on your responses it sure seems like you don’t have “other plates”, you seem to be playing games with a woman you’re obsessed by, aka oneitis because you don’t have any equal or better options, or may not have any options at all.

 

[TheGambino]

OP: based on your responses it sure seems like you don’t have “other plates”, you seem to be playing games with a woman you’re obsessed by, aka oneitis because you don’t have any equal or better options, or may not have any options at all.

I do, had a date last week and will see her next week but yeah, I like op girl a lot more.

 

[BPH]

ye at least keep her as a plate and fvck her while looking for other options. Also look how she will threat me. What do you say? @BPH

I don't have any advice that I think you'll listen to.

I think what you want to hear is somebody telling you you're doing the right thing, which you're not.

You don't want a relationship with this girl, but you're starting drama and going through her phone to see if she's sleeping with anybody else, while YOU yourself are running around seeing other people.

Now she's confused because you're showing her you care about whether she's been with anybody else, and feels guilty, but doesn't know you're doing EXACTLY what you're getting upset with her about. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

I think you'll continue doing what you want and end up running this into the ground.

In my opinion you do one of two things;

1. Decide you want to be exclusive with her, and let her know that, because she won't make the first move, especially after you've run her through this emotional rollercoaster where she doesn't know what you want.

2. Man up, apologize for being overbearing and reaffirm that this is a strictly physical relationship where you're BOTH able to explore other options. If she's not ok with that because she wants more from you, then there you go. If YOU'RE not ok with HER being ok with that, stop seeing her, because you're not mature enough to have an open relationship if it's not one-sided.

 

[TheGambino]

I don't have any advice that I think you'll listen to.

I think what you want to hear is somebody telling you you're doing the right thing, which you're not.

You don't want a relationship with this girl, but you're starting drama and going through her phone to see if she's sleeping with anybody else, while YOU yourself are running around seeing other people.

Now she's confused because you're showing her you care about whether she's been with anybody else, and feels guilty, but doesn't know you're doing EXACTLY what you're getting upset with her about. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

I think you'll continue doing what you want and end up running this into the ground.

In my opinion you do one of two things;

1. Decide you want to be exclusive with her, and let her know that, because she won't make the first move, especially after you've run her through this emotional rollercoaster where she doesn't know what you want.

2. Man up, apologize for being overbearing and reaffirm that this is a strictly physical relationship where you're BOTH able to explore other options. If she's not ok with that because she wants more from you, then there you go. If YOU'RE not ok with HER being ok with that, stop seeing her, because you're not mature enough to have an open relationship if it's not one-sided.

okay thanks

 

[TheGambino]

I don't have any advice that I think you'll listen to.

I think what you want to hear is somebody telling you you're doing the right thing, which you're not.

You don't want a relationship with this girl, but you're starting drama and going through her phone to see if she's sleeping with anybody else, while YOU yourself are running around seeing other people.

Now she's confused because you're showing her you care about whether she's been with anybody else, and feels guilty, but doesn't know you're doing EXACTLY what you're getting upset with her about. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

I think you'll continue doing what you want and end up running this into the ground.

In my opinion you do one of two things;

1. Decide you want to be exclusive with her, and let her know that, because she won't make the first move, especially after you've run her through this emotional rollercoaster where she doesn't know what you want.

2. Man up, apologize for being overbearing and reaffirm that this is a strictly physical relationship where you're BOTH able to explore other options. If she's not ok with that because she wants more from you, then there you go. If YOU'RE not ok with HER being ok with that, stop seeing her, because you're not mature enough to have an open relationship if it's not one-sided.

Lmfao @BPH

I texted her.

Me: In that case I am open to talk.
Her: talk about what?
Me: let’s not do that true WhatsApp but face to face
Her: the guy didn’t text me yet but if he does I’m probably going to date him
Me: ok then do that
Her: will that change anything for you ?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Lmfao @BPH
Her: the guy didn’t text me yet but if he does I’m probably going to date him

My kneejerk is she’s for the street.

But she could be testing you, I would’ve said “let’s be exclusive” since that’s what you want and gauge her reaction. Some women want to test your resolve. “Is he willing to go all in?” Women love men that go all the way. In that case you failed the test.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why is she for the street if you’re telling her you’re not exclusive? You had a framework that she was operating in - now you don’t like it. Women barely speak English properly. Do you think she’s going to tell you what’s really on her mind, is it possibly she’s trying to make you jealous. Welcome to 90% of women’s communication.

So if we don’t like something we can change it right? You sound like you are pvssy footing around being exclusive bc you’re afraid of losing the sex. Otherwise why does this need three pages? You have two potential outcomes here which if you’re being honest in your posting are: she becomes your girlfriend or she walks. If you need attention from another human get a therapist. Stop stinging her along

 

[BPH]

Lmfao @BPH

I texted her.

Me: In that case I am open to talk.
Her: talk about what?
Me: let’s not do that true WhatsApp but face to face
Her: the guy didn’t text me yet but if he does I’m probably going to date him
Me: ok then do that
Her: will that change anything for you ?

So either she's holding out for this other guy, or she's testing you to see if you're jealous and will commit to her.

I see that as a lose-lose because it shows you're not willing to walk away and I feel like this is the type of girl to test your loyalty throughout a relationship if you show her she's the one who controls it.

But hey, if you really want a resolution either go all in or all out.

 

[Canadian_Man]

I want to keep her as a plate. ... Maybe if she is open to date, we can progress it further in something serious ...

Based on what you've already written in this thread, it sounds more like you want the second of these two.

And the way you've written it is rather timid. "Maybe if she ..."

It also sounded like she wasn't that interested in this (e.g., exclusivity, dating, etc.), otherwise she would have taken you up on your prior attempts to go out on dates in the recent past. Perhaps that has changed though, given her recent texts to you.

I agree with the others whom say you should be more direct or walk. This limbo land where she is a plate doesn't seem to be congruent with what you want.

 

[TheGambino]

Based on what you've already written in this thread, it sounds more like you want the second of these two.

And the way you've written it is rather timid. "Maybe if she ..."

It also sounded like she wasn't that interested in this (e.g., exclusivity, dating, etc.), otherwise she would have taken you up on your prior attempts to go out on dates in the recent past. Perhaps that has changed though, given her recent texts to you.

I agree with the others whom say you should be more direct or walk. This limbo land where she is a plate doesn't seem to be congruent with what you want.

I called her and I’m at her place right now.
We had a talk and she said that she meant it about the guy that she would date him if he would text her. I said I don’t believe you, he can’t be better then me.

she said I mean it. I told her straight up that I like her and would see potential in ltr.
She said that it would be better to stop. We went on the couch kissing and I told her that I think she’s lying that she likes him better. She said no. Okay we end in the bedroom I want cex she refuses I keep on pushing with making her wet and we fcked.
She then becomes clingy and that’s it I’m taking a sh*t right now at her place.

I think it’s over on her part. That’s it. I followed what I wanted and what you guys advised and this is it.

she is being sweet and all, trying to see how I feel. I just say if u go with him obv do so and then it’s over. She calls my bluff

 

[Bingo-Player]

@Bingo-Player

She texted this morning.

hey I have another thing to say, Just wanted to tell you I didn’t have cex with him, my girlfriend slept at my house. If I were to date that guy I would tell you immediately. I wanted to tell you this.
I replied hours later “okay”

Now radio silence

It's funny I've seen and heard this all before from women in my own life

Its funny how women across the world all seem to operate in exactly the same ways

Her hamster can't cope with the rejection she will keep chasing you now

I had a girl pursue me for a year after a similar situation to this

 

[TheGambino]

It's funny I've seen and heard this all before from women in my own life

Its funny how women across the world all seem to operate in exactly the same ways

Her hamster can't cope with the rejection she will keep chasing you now

I had a girl pursue me for a year after a similar situation to this

Read the rest please I’m at hers now but look what she said @Bingo-Player

 

[The Duke]

@TheGambino - It doesn't matter if this other guy you are worried about is better or not. Its a card she is playing to force your hand. You don't have the balls to put your cards on the table and show your hand because doing so sets up a committed relationship or she leaves. Both of those outcomes you are afraid of, hence why you replied with what you did.

You aren't a leader in your relationships and their is always a cloud of drama surrounding you. Stop straddling the fence. Thats not masculinity. She is indirectly communicating to you (like they all do) that she wants you to make a decision. If she was done with you she wouldn't of had sex with you. This other guy hasn't even begun to connect with her and you make these stupid emotional claims about how she likes him better. Based on nothing but your feelers.

Stop being afraid to go alone if she isn't what you want. Enough with the games

 

[obelisk]

Why did you go through the phone of a woman who is "just a plate"? A lot of this seems self-inflicted by the OP.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Did you ask her to stop talking to other guys and did you set some boundaries?

 

[TheGambino]

Did you ask her to stop talking to other guys and did you set some boundaries?

she says that she means that we should stop

 

[BPH]

I followed what I wanted

Yep...

and what you guys advised

Nope...