Igetit!
Moderator
Wow MisterMcGee. Talk about being taken out to the woodshed. This response made me cringe.MisterMcGee said:
I'd rep. you if you hadn't disabled your reputation.
Well, I fvcked up...
- Thread starter The Master Disaster
- Start date
I'd rep. you if you hadn't disabled your reputation.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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Wow, that hurt, and what is even worse is there is a lot of truth in that.MisterMcGee said:
I'm very insecure when it comes to women. I give off a false sense to women that I am some confident and secure person, but it's all a damn lie.
After you pointed it out, you're 100% right. It's incredibly unhealthy for me to look to her for my own self respect. Wow, that's dead on; I gotta stop doing that.
I don't do this with my male friends. I'm secure as hell with them, but women.. it's like I threw the book out... I constantly think about how do I look? Is she engaged? How can I escalate this? I don't think about that with male friends. We just have a good as hell time, and I was doing that with her towards the end of last semester, but 4 weeks without her, and I'm back on page 1.
It's easy for me to get women's attention, but as soon as the sh!t tests pop up they can see right through me because I'm constantly trying to defeat myself. Thoughts go through my head like, "I'm not that good looking. I'm not that funny. Women couldn't possibly like me." I don't know how I can make those thoughts disappear. Every time I look in there mirror, I look subconsciously look for things that people could write me off on. Maybe I need to see a therapist or something. I have some major social anxiety problems that I suppress and suppress. I don't tell anyone this, and I don't give off this idea that I even have it, but I have it deep inside me.
Now, I gotta decide if I go to the party alone and see if I can have a good time and meet some new people, or do I chill with some roommates and close off another chance of having a good time..
I agree McGee. I agree whole-heartily. You're incredibly mean and vicious post got to the heart of the terrible mindset I was thinking through. I go to other friend's parties and have a kick ass time, and I don't think about "Does my friend think I am on a leash?" or all the things that could go wrong. I just go. Pop a couple back and have a good time.
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
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@igetit!
I'm assuming you mean +rep. HAHA I wouldn't be surprised if some wanted to -rep me.
I edited the post a minute ago to get my point across better.
Anyways, I only speak from experience and a dodged bullet. He said a few times earlier in this thread that he saw my situation and his situation as being similar, but him being 'further along'. Why, cause he went on a 'date' with her? I had enough sense to pull the plug and get a REALITY CHECK before I dug myself a grave.
And bless my chances, because I've dodged many bullets thanks to very small reality checks along the road. If it weren't for the things I've learnt in life thanks to the interwebisaurus and life experiences, I'd be making mistakes over and over again.
I wish I could give Master Disaster a better way to get a reality check on what's actually going on here, but he's going to have to learn like I did and hopefully dodge a bullet. I have nothing against him pursuing this girl, or whatever, but he is 100% not in the frame of mind to consider doing it because, to him, it's all about recovery, impressions, and playing games.
You are all saying "forget about her and don't pursue her" because you know that, if he does pursue her, he'll fvck up because he's a total chump around her, and he'll get sucked back into being a chump. I totally agree, that is DEFINITELY what will happen.
But I do believe that he can pursue this girl once he get his head out of the gutter, lives a more free live, does more things, doesn't waste time overthinking about girls he isn't dating, has fun doing 'whatever', can be honest to himself and others he is interested in.
The reason I believe he can pursue her then is because honestly, she's just a girl. She's not his ex-gf, an ex-datee, and old sour friend, or anything. Just a girl he knows. It's only in his mind doesn he complicate things and pretend he's knee deep in 'something' when really he's knee deep in a whole lot of nothing.
Of course, you're gonna tell me "don't give him hope! he'll go ahead and do it! ARGH mcgee he's gonna do something stupid again!"
And you're probably right, me saying something as simple as "one day, you can pursue her, young chap!" might actually change his frame of mind and he'll rethink the entire situation. That's his fault, which is why he's in dire need of a reality check.
Enough keyboard jockeying on my part, im hungry.
I'm assuming you mean +rep. HAHA I wouldn't be surprised if some wanted to -rep me.
I edited the post a minute ago to get my point across better.
Anyways, I only speak from experience and a dodged bullet. He said a few times earlier in this thread that he saw my situation and his situation as being similar, but him being 'further along'. Why, cause he went on a 'date' with her? I had enough sense to pull the plug and get a REALITY CHECK before I dug myself a grave.
And bless my chances, because I've dodged many bullets thanks to very small reality checks along the road. If it weren't for the things I've learnt in life thanks to the interwebisaurus and life experiences, I'd be making mistakes over and over again.
I wish I could give Master Disaster a better way to get a reality check on what's actually going on here, but he's going to have to learn like I did and hopefully dodge a bullet. I have nothing against him pursuing this girl, or whatever, but he is 100% not in the frame of mind to consider doing it because, to him, it's all about recovery, impressions, and playing games.
You are all saying "forget about her and don't pursue her" because you know that, if he does pursue her, he'll fvck up because he's a total chump around her, and he'll get sucked back into being a chump. I totally agree, that is DEFINITELY what will happen.
But I do believe that he can pursue this girl once he get his head out of the gutter, lives a more free live, does more things, doesn't waste time overthinking about girls he isn't dating, has fun doing 'whatever', can be honest to himself and others he is interested in.
The reason I believe he can pursue her then is because honestly, she's just a girl. She's not his ex-gf, an ex-datee, and old sour friend, or anything. Just a girl he knows. It's only in his mind doesn he complicate things and pretend he's knee deep in 'something' when really he's knee deep in a whole lot of nothing.
Of course, you're gonna tell me "don't give him hope! he'll go ahead and do it! ARGH mcgee he's gonna do something stupid again!"
And you're probably right, me saying something as simple as "one day, you can pursue her, young chap!" might actually change his frame of mind and he'll rethink the entire situation. That's his fault, which is why he's in dire need of a reality check.
Enough keyboard jockeying on my part, im hungry.
It wasn't a mean reply. He was incredibly accurate. Go to your other friend's party. What better way to start fresh than getting out there. Start working on your confidence, worrying about what everybody thinks all the time is no way to go through life. Esp. the how do I look. Your treading on chick territory at that point. I just had a chick try and pull the rug out from under me, what's even worse is sometimes we do it to ourselves. Just gotta get back up and dust ourselves off. If you learned something from it then it wasn't a complete waste of time.
E
Energizer
Guest
I don't know why reply to Master Disaster, let him enjoy his weekend jerking off to Internet Porn. The guy is unsavable. 
MisterMcGee
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@Master Disaster
See, you're doing all that PUA social dynamic stuff but with no inner game to back it up. Social dynamics is really cool stuff and fun to learn about, but don't let it control you or neuter your experiences with other people.
It's good when you treat it like something natural.
Simplify it for yourself, because it's truly all simple. People who perceive it as simple are fun to be around, and they socialize effortlessly.
I'm not saying be a creep (no social awareness or caution), just improve yourself.
You're still in the 'fake it until you make it' stage, which is a perfectly viable place to be. I was there once. Its a good way to set yourself up for a reality check - nothing more, nothing less. Sooner or later you're gonna realize it's all boring as ****. It's like living by a ruleset, and constantly checking your steps to make sure the next step you make is the 'correct' step.
Once you're done this stage, you'll know what to do in certain situations just because of what runs in your veins. At that point, you are pretty well developed due to all the **** you've put yourself through both in your head and 'in field'.
When you see a girl you knew 5 years back as an acquaintance, you won't think about what you did 5 years ago with her. You'll give her your number and ask for hers cause you gotta catch up. And of course you'll be a little flirtatious or whatever. If she goes along with it, cool. If she doesn't, then whatever. Maybe you'll see her at a party sometime and she'll like who you are. Maybe she won't be into you.
You can choose to go all PUA on her and "turn on your game switch" as Mystery puts it. You may get to fvck her too, but only if you're a good PUA. And being a good PUA doesn't get you much happiness and self appreciation, it simply get you *****. If that's all you want, then be a PUA and do the step by step social dynamics stuff. It's shallow, but it works.
If you want to be a full person and bla bla, then move above the PUA stuff.
Right now you're being a PUA. Not a very good one, but it's a state of mind I was in half a year ago that really helped me. It's not a place you want to stay (unless you get good at it and want to sarge club and bar chicks), but it is a place I encourage you to realize is just temporary. It's a stage of growth.
You're trying to 'fake it until you make it' with this girl by telling her you went to an awesome party, when you actually didn't. That's not a BAD thing as long as you don't stay in this state of mind for too long.
The point of faking it until you make it is essentially ADMITTING that there is room to improve.
If this was your final destination, then yes... it's a very bad thing to lie to a girl to impress her. Duh. But if you're doing it just cause you're in that weak stage where you don't know what your frame is, and you're SO CLOSE to realizing that you really care about yourself and who you are and what you do in life, then don't worry about it. I went through the same BS you're going through, just know that I made it through.
And when you finally make it through, of course it's very tempting to go into 'game mode' with a girl you really like. I mean, you have all of this social dynamic knowledge, so you think that, whenever you feel pressured in social situations, then it's time to WHIP OUT the bigguns!
Don't do this. If you're growing as a person and you're fun to be around, then respect yourself and realize you have a lot to offer.
Of course, don't be naive by any means or ignore the knowledge you have of socializing, relationships, and crap. Also, don't improve yourself because you aren't successful, improve yourself because your mindset sucks.
I believe really liking a girl you've gotten to know is 100% acceptable. It's 'turning on your game switch' that fvcks it up for people. You start living inside your head and start caring too much about everything. You lose your frame and all sorts of nasty crap happen. Hopefully you get a reality check before you make a move while in this frame of mind, like I did.
Making a move while in this frame of mind is disastrous because you are being a chump temporarily for this one girl. You feel like an idiot because you're actually a really great guy but "fell into the trap" of trying to 'game' this girl when you're **** at doing the PUA spiel.
And you know what happens? You decide to give her space and distance yourself from her in order to gain some sort of frame for yourself (which is good), and you tell yourself 'if i wasn't being a chump, she may have been into me'.
This isn't bad, though. Just make sure when you pursue her again that 1) she isn't your oneitis, 2) you are, in fact, not a chump, 3) you won't turn into a chump, 4) your frame of mind is awesome enough that you're comfortable being yourself with her, 5) you don't think any of it is a big deal.
And when you start being cool and stop making big deals about nothing, then you may realize she's simply a hot cool girl. Dating her could be fun. It's not a big deal. You'll just see what happens.
The point of distancing yourself form her and 'moving on' is because YOU NEED TO HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO GIVE YOURSELF SPACE TO MOVE ON. You are NOT ready to grow while trying to 'game' her, because you are relatively chumpish right now. Accept this and give yourself the room to improve yourself.
You shouldn't move on in hopes of making her miss you and making her approach you. That is a pretty cool side effect, definitely, but don't mistake your actions as 'gaming her'. You're improving yourself and getting your head out of the gutter. Period.
Edit: yes, I wrote too much.
See, you're doing all that PUA social dynamic stuff but with no inner game to back it up. Social dynamics is really cool stuff and fun to learn about, but don't let it control you or neuter your experiences with other people.
It's good when you treat it like something natural.
Simplify it for yourself, because it's truly all simple. People who perceive it as simple are fun to be around, and they socialize effortlessly.
I'm not saying be a creep (no social awareness or caution), just improve yourself.
You're still in the 'fake it until you make it' stage, which is a perfectly viable place to be. I was there once. Its a good way to set yourself up for a reality check - nothing more, nothing less. Sooner or later you're gonna realize it's all boring as ****. It's like living by a ruleset, and constantly checking your steps to make sure the next step you make is the 'correct' step.
Once you're done this stage, you'll know what to do in certain situations just because of what runs in your veins. At that point, you are pretty well developed due to all the **** you've put yourself through both in your head and 'in field'.
When you see a girl you knew 5 years back as an acquaintance, you won't think about what you did 5 years ago with her. You'll give her your number and ask for hers cause you gotta catch up. And of course you'll be a little flirtatious or whatever. If she goes along with it, cool. If she doesn't, then whatever. Maybe you'll see her at a party sometime and she'll like who you are. Maybe she won't be into you.
You can choose to go all PUA on her and "turn on your game switch" as Mystery puts it. You may get to fvck her too, but only if you're a good PUA. And being a good PUA doesn't get you much happiness and self appreciation, it simply get you *****. If that's all you want, then be a PUA and do the step by step social dynamics stuff. It's shallow, but it works.
If you want to be a full person and bla bla, then move above the PUA stuff.
Right now you're being a PUA. Not a very good one, but it's a state of mind I was in half a year ago that really helped me. It's not a place you want to stay (unless you get good at it and want to sarge club and bar chicks), but it is a place I encourage you to realize is just temporary. It's a stage of growth.
You're trying to 'fake it until you make it' with this girl by telling her you went to an awesome party, when you actually didn't. That's not a BAD thing as long as you don't stay in this state of mind for too long.
The point of faking it until you make it is essentially ADMITTING that there is room to improve.
If this was your final destination, then yes... it's a very bad thing to lie to a girl to impress her. Duh. But if you're doing it just cause you're in that weak stage where you don't know what your frame is, and you're SO CLOSE to realizing that you really care about yourself and who you are and what you do in life, then don't worry about it. I went through the same BS you're going through, just know that I made it through.
And when you finally make it through, of course it's very tempting to go into 'game mode' with a girl you really like. I mean, you have all of this social dynamic knowledge, so you think that, whenever you feel pressured in social situations, then it's time to WHIP OUT the bigguns!
Don't do this. If you're growing as a person and you're fun to be around, then respect yourself and realize you have a lot to offer.
Of course, don't be naive by any means or ignore the knowledge you have of socializing, relationships, and crap. Also, don't improve yourself because you aren't successful, improve yourself because your mindset sucks.
I believe really liking a girl you've gotten to know is 100% acceptable. It's 'turning on your game switch' that fvcks it up for people. You start living inside your head and start caring too much about everything. You lose your frame and all sorts of nasty crap happen. Hopefully you get a reality check before you make a move while in this frame of mind, like I did.
Making a move while in this frame of mind is disastrous because you are being a chump temporarily for this one girl. You feel like an idiot because you're actually a really great guy but "fell into the trap" of trying to 'game' this girl when you're **** at doing the PUA spiel.
And you know what happens? You decide to give her space and distance yourself from her in order to gain some sort of frame for yourself (which is good), and you tell yourself 'if i wasn't being a chump, she may have been into me'.
This isn't bad, though. Just make sure when you pursue her again that 1) she isn't your oneitis, 2) you are, in fact, not a chump, 3) you won't turn into a chump, 4) your frame of mind is awesome enough that you're comfortable being yourself with her, 5) you don't think any of it is a big deal.
And when you start being cool and stop making big deals about nothing, then you may realize she's simply a hot cool girl. Dating her could be fun. It's not a big deal. You'll just see what happens.
The point of distancing yourself form her and 'moving on' is because YOU NEED TO HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO GIVE YOURSELF SPACE TO MOVE ON. You are NOT ready to grow while trying to 'game' her, because you are relatively chumpish right now. Accept this and give yourself the room to improve yourself.
You shouldn't move on in hopes of making her miss you and making her approach you. That is a pretty cool side effect, definitely, but don't mistake your actions as 'gaming her'. You're improving yourself and getting your head out of the gutter. Period.
Edit: yes, I wrote too much.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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Wow, I see what your saying. I definitely have a lot to improve upon, and while I was out driving around; she texted me again saying "Are you coming tonight?"
I responded 15 or so minutes later (I didn't see it), and I wasn't sure if I was going to go, so I said, "How sweet is your party going to be?"
She responded, "Super sweet!" then sent another text right after about how she's dressing up and what alcohol they have there.
I got caught up talking with some friends, and I didn't respond right away, and she sent another text saying "So u comin or wat?"
I sent one back that was kind of left open, saying that I have already made some plans, but I'll try to stop by. I just got an email from boss about my editorial that I haven't finished for my paper, which was due Friday. Plus, I have a whole bunch of friends over at my apartment right now. I'll see what I feel like doing in a coupe hours. I might take some friends over and see if we can have a good time, or I might sit tight and chill with them. I don't know. We shall see.
I think it's fairly entertaining at how much she wants to know if I'm coming. "I better see you tonight!" "Are you coming tonight?" "Are comin or what?" 3 texts asking the same thing within a matter of 2-3 hours. I don't know if I played it well or if I botched it, but I'm done analyzing my steps. I'll take your advice and "Go with the flow." If tonight I wind up at the party, so be it.
I responded 15 or so minutes later (I didn't see it), and I wasn't sure if I was going to go, so I said, "How sweet is your party going to be?"
She responded, "Super sweet!" then sent another text right after about how she's dressing up and what alcohol they have there.
I got caught up talking with some friends, and I didn't respond right away, and she sent another text saying "So u comin or wat?"
I sent one back that was kind of left open, saying that I have already made some plans, but I'll try to stop by. I just got an email from boss about my editorial that I haven't finished for my paper, which was due Friday. Plus, I have a whole bunch of friends over at my apartment right now. I'll see what I feel like doing in a coupe hours. I might take some friends over and see if we can have a good time, or I might sit tight and chill with them. I don't know. We shall see.
I think it's fairly entertaining at how much she wants to know if I'm coming. "I better see you tonight!" "Are you coming tonight?" "Are comin or what?" 3 texts asking the same thing within a matter of 2-3 hours. I don't know if I played it well or if I botched it, but I'm done analyzing my steps. I'll take your advice and "Go with the flow." If tonight I wind up at the party, so be it.
Go. Get her alone and go for the kiss. No bull****. You either get it or you don't. If you don't, there's your closure. You'll feel good that you maned up and went for it, some three months later. But whatever. Bold moves show confidence. Or do you really just want to be her gal pal. You don't. Assume she's interested. There could be some other hotties there as well. Why chill with a bunch of hairy legs when you could be at a party with the possibility that there could be young, hot, horny chicks there. Or maybe some random girl may just happen to knock on your door tonite. Unlikely. If I had the opportunity to be at a party tonite, I'd be in my car on my way there. That's one of the best places to me the bytches.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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I ended up not going, but I did have end up going out to a bar with 2 of my buddies. We watched UFC 94 while we shot pool. I just got back. We had a blast, got a pitcher, and just had a good time, talked to some women that were there. I didn't number close or anything; I really wasn't feeling them that much.
It's like 2 a.m. and I'm beat, so whatever I didn't go. I don't how it would of went, but I don't think I have any regrets. I did choose the safe route, but I'm curious how it will go from here.
There are a couple parties coming up in February that I'm going to go to. I might ask her to go with me to one, I'm curious how that would go. I have to do some thinking if I want to go back to pursuing her. If I'm gonna do it, I'm not going to do this "Lunch/day activity" crap. If I want to get with her, I'm gonna take her to a party have a couple drinks and see how that goes because worse case scenario is that I end up chit chatting with other women that night.
I don't know if she badly wanted me to go to that party tonight or what. I mean, it seems like it, but if I did go I would walk into a huge disadvantage. Her apartment, her friends, her everything. I would be the fish out of water. While if I take her to one of my friend's parties, I would be given the advantage. I mean like she would be pushed into the party with me rather than at her party where she would have to talk with everyone. Make sure everyone is having a good time, etc.
I have to figure out if I really want her or not, but if I do I'm not playing 4-square this time. I think I ditched my one-itis. You guys might disagree, but as I was about to put her on that pedestal and give her the power, you guys caught me. I just have to be vigilant and detect when I might be exalting her.
I was doing so well, and then this party thing pops up, and that's all it took for me to give up the power of my self-respect and put it in her hands. If I can get that under control and lead my life knowing my happiness is in my control, I'll be so much better off. If I have to say it 50 times a day. I just have to quit valuing people's opinions of me so much. I try to make everyone like me, and truthfully they do, (Except a couple who resent me for my car, long story but some dude I met hated me because of what I drove, but now we're cool), but at what cost is it to me to care so much about what people think about me...
It's like 2 a.m. and I'm beat, so whatever I didn't go. I don't how it would of went, but I don't think I have any regrets. I did choose the safe route, but I'm curious how it will go from here.
There are a couple parties coming up in February that I'm going to go to. I might ask her to go with me to one, I'm curious how that would go. I have to do some thinking if I want to go back to pursuing her. If I'm gonna do it, I'm not going to do this "Lunch/day activity" crap. If I want to get with her, I'm gonna take her to a party have a couple drinks and see how that goes because worse case scenario is that I end up chit chatting with other women that night.
I don't know if she badly wanted me to go to that party tonight or what. I mean, it seems like it, but if I did go I would walk into a huge disadvantage. Her apartment, her friends, her everything. I would be the fish out of water. While if I take her to one of my friend's parties, I would be given the advantage. I mean like she would be pushed into the party with me rather than at her party where she would have to talk with everyone. Make sure everyone is having a good time, etc.
I have to figure out if I really want her or not, but if I do I'm not playing 4-square this time. I think I ditched my one-itis. You guys might disagree, but as I was about to put her on that pedestal and give her the power, you guys caught me. I just have to be vigilant and detect when I might be exalting her.
I was doing so well, and then this party thing pops up, and that's all it took for me to give up the power of my self-respect and put it in her hands. If I can get that under control and lead my life knowing my happiness is in my control, I'll be so much better off. If I have to say it 50 times a day. I just have to quit valuing people's opinions of me so much. I try to make everyone like me, and truthfully they do, (Except a couple who resent me for my car, long story but some dude I met hated me because of what I drove, but now we're cool), but at what cost is it to me to care so much about what people think about me...
Igetit!
Moderator
Well,you already know what I think about this whole situation,so there's no need for me to repeat myself. So you decided not to go,huh? I'm pretty sure that she's going to try to contact you to find out why you didn't go to her party. So what do you plan on saying to her? And once all that's done and over with,then what? What do you plan on doing to try to date her now?
I don't know you personally,but I've learned enough about you to know that you are not just going to let this go and pursue someone else.
I don't know you personally,but I've learned enough about you to know that you are not just going to let this go and pursue someone else.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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You think she is going to ask me why I didn't come? That would be weird if she did. It would mean she noticed I wasn't there and would prove that she really wanted me there badly.Igetit! said:
If she asks, I'll lie and say something I did last weekend or something.
As far as trying to date her, I don't know if I want to date her. I wouldn't mind just keeping her as a friend. I'll ask her to go with me to a party sometimes this month. There is this huge party going on in Atlanta my friend is throwing. It's a "Middle School" theme party with like 100-200 people at this house, and tons of alcohol, spin the bottle, 7 mins in heaven and other juvenile games. My friend really wants to me go to his party, so I'll probably drive there. I just wonder if she'd want to go to that. We both have families in Atlanta. I think it'd be fun, and if we drove together it would certainly clear up a lot of question marks. The party is on Valentine's day too, so she might get curious... but whatever. If she said no, I'd be fine with that.
Or I could ask her to one in town.
Depending on how which ever party goes, we'll see if I want to date her or not. If the alcohol takes over and we get intimate, then it'd be cake. If we don't then, we'd just remain friends.
If she says no to going to a party, then I'll move on. It'll probably go something like that. I think someone mentioned asking her to a party over the break, and that is definitely a good option right now. I will not do a lunch again, and it would be awkward to date. There needs to be a transition from being friends to being more than that, and a party would be a good test for that.
We'll see. I'm currently pursuing other women. I have a couple out there, and I'll probably ask a couple girls to dates this month.
I mean if I do go to this party with her, it wouldn't take much for us to go from friends to dating. A couple drinks and then we get get all touchy, feely it wouldn't take much. The rapport and interest is there. It's just about breaking down the wall.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
The Master Disaster said:
I'd give you some more advice here, but Mister Mcgee and Igetit pretty much nailed it to a T.
PIMP
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
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I read a little this morning, and I going to vastly alter my approach to women.
I was making lunch this afternoon, and I thought it would be more fun to take her out to lunch. If she sent me all those text messages last night, there has to be some momentum to see me.
So without much thought, I sent her a text a 1 p.m. saying, "Sorry, I lost track of time. Let me make it up to you, what are you doing right now?"
She responded with that she was about to go to the park, but maybe some other time. Then she tacked on "You SO missed out last night."
Going to the park? Eh, really pass up seeing me? I think she was a little pissed off that I didn't go.
So I took it as a sh!t test and responded, "Yea, maybe I did, but you're about to miss out on some heavenly pancakes."
Then she responded quicly with, "Aw you suck lol"
Then I debated for a second about giving her a 2nd chance, but I quickly noticed that would sound desperate so I said, "Don't hate"
Then she responded, "Yea yea maybe lunch tues?"
So we'll do lunch on Tuesday, but I'm feeling good. I'm working on my approach. I showed her that I was prepared to lose her, and then she showed she wanted to see me.
As friends? or whatever? I don't know how she views me, but I'm going to take her to a nice relaxed atmosphere. I hated the place she chose last time. I got some cold chicken that was incredibly chewy.. Anyways, we'll see what happens.
I was making lunch this afternoon, and I thought it would be more fun to take her out to lunch. If she sent me all those text messages last night, there has to be some momentum to see me.
So without much thought, I sent her a text a 1 p.m. saying, "Sorry, I lost track of time. Let me make it up to you, what are you doing right now?"
She responded with that she was about to go to the park, but maybe some other time. Then she tacked on "You SO missed out last night."
Going to the park? Eh, really pass up seeing me? I think she was a little pissed off that I didn't go.
So I took it as a sh!t test and responded, "Yea, maybe I did, but you're about to miss out on some heavenly pancakes."
Then she responded quicly with, "Aw you suck lol"
Then I debated for a second about giving her a 2nd chance, but I quickly noticed that would sound desperate so I said, "Don't hate"
Then she responded, "Yea yea maybe lunch tues?"
So we'll do lunch on Tuesday, but I'm feeling good. I'm working on my approach. I showed her that I was prepared to lose her, and then she showed she wanted to see me.
As friends? or whatever? I don't know how she views me, but I'm going to take her to a nice relaxed atmosphere. I hated the place she chose last time. I got some cold chicken that was incredibly chewy.. Anyways, we'll see what happens.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
The Master Disaster said:
And we are officially back to page one of this thread.....
PIMP
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2008
- Messages
- 826
- Reaction score
- 18
First of all I don't adhere to the brash "you're her little pvssy dog" responses. Yes, she asked him out and he agreed. Not what I would've done (lunch isn't fun) but whatever.
All YOU need to do is realize she isn't powerful or anything. She doesn't have to power to castrate you or embarrass your manliness or make you feel like sludge. She's just a silly girl who probably has no idea what she's doing and wants to see you to gauge wtf is going on. That's it.
I don't see why she'd be playing the whole "I'm playing games with this wuss-on-a-leash" card because it doesn't seem plausible to me. Not only do you, masterdisaster, need to simplify things in your mind, but I think some of us other folks here need to. Don't mistake a girl's interest into an epic power struggle, it's damaging.
Sure, it's possible she may just want your attention and wants to play you for whatever reason, but that's both not fair to her and to masterdistaster. It's not a good mindset to have in such an underdeveloped situation. The only reason we see things as being DOOMED is because of masterdisaster's extreme overthinking and flip-flopping and denial; he gives this situation a bad vibe.
But in reality, this girl is just a girl who knows masterdisaster. Nothing more, nothing less. Like I said, their relationship has no baggage or anything, even though masterdisaster makes it SEEM like it does.
Another reason most of us feel like the situation is DOOMED is because we fear that masterdisasters state of mind will essentially screw his chances with this girl, which is why we tell him to move on (I've already spoken about this a couple posts ago).
So let's hope you treat this girl like a girl and not like someone you have baggage with, because you don't.
You have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to overthink or analyze.
All YOU need to do is realize she isn't powerful or anything. She doesn't have to power to castrate you or embarrass your manliness or make you feel like sludge. She's just a silly girl who probably has no idea what she's doing and wants to see you to gauge wtf is going on. That's it.
I don't see why she'd be playing the whole "I'm playing games with this wuss-on-a-leash" card because it doesn't seem plausible to me. Not only do you, masterdisaster, need to simplify things in your mind, but I think some of us other folks here need to. Don't mistake a girl's interest into an epic power struggle, it's damaging.
Sure, it's possible she may just want your attention and wants to play you for whatever reason, but that's both not fair to her and to masterdistaster. It's not a good mindset to have in such an underdeveloped situation. The only reason we see things as being DOOMED is because of masterdisaster's extreme overthinking and flip-flopping and denial; he gives this situation a bad vibe.
But in reality, this girl is just a girl who knows masterdisaster. Nothing more, nothing less. Like I said, their relationship has no baggage or anything, even though masterdisaster makes it SEEM like it does.
Another reason most of us feel like the situation is DOOMED is because we fear that masterdisasters state of mind will essentially screw his chances with this girl, which is why we tell him to move on (I've already spoken about this a couple posts ago).
So let's hope you treat this girl like a girl and not like someone you have baggage with, because you don't.
You have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to overthink or analyze.
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2008
- Messages
- 826
- Reaction score
- 18
We're long past that remotecontrol, don't pull us back to 3 months ago when he's trying to make progress.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 512
- Reaction score
- 2
Word MM, that's the mindset I'm going into it.
I don't think she's playing games. I think if anything I've boosted my worth over this weekend (not going to her party for other plans, and confidently asking her out on a whim), and now she wants to know if there is potential, which is how I'm approaching it.
Earlier I read some method in the DJ, which really struck a chord with me. A man who is considered a 10 with a 1 sex drive will have to settle with 5.5's at best, while a Man who is considered a 6 with a 10 sex drive can land 8's and 9's. I mean it makes sense if you don't let the girl know your intentions, she won't know. Beta males have to settle for women they deem unsatisfactory. It's natural selection. The strongest men get what they want.
I'm going to be Alpha from now on with women, and I think today was a set forward. I clearly let her know what I want. I put myself out there, and she even rejected me, but offered another day.
I also caught the end of Just Friends, which I've seen 500 times, but anyways the main character said, "You just have to put yourself out there and hope they will reciprocate the feelings," and that's so damn true. if I don't put my intentions out, without a doubt I wont' get what I want.
Now that I think about it, every time I put myself out there she has responded positively.
Asking her instead of working doing lunch - invites me back to her house.
Asking her to do something on that saturday - spend 5 hours together and even share cup cakes.
And recently, I haven't even put anything forward, and what as she done? Asked me out to lunch. Asked me to her party. Txted me all Saturday afternoon to make sure I was aware that she was having a party, and she wanted me to come.
At the last lunch I was passive, I was tired, and ultimately I was defeated. I was wishy-washy too. I was tired and beaten myself to death. I spent from Saturday when she proposed it to Thursday pondering of ways of progressing, and when it finally rolled around. I was exhausted, and it went nothing like it planned. I didn't even know where we were going to go. She proposed some place, and it went poorly. I was even confused on what I was going to order.
This time, I'll know where I'm gonna take her. It'll be clear that I enjoy her company, and that's all I know. I won't think of ways of trying to kiss her. I'm just going to go pick a place to eat and go with the flow. I'll make sure not to go down the Beta f'ing route. I'm not going to approach this as the "Decision day/ the end." If anything, it's going to be beginning. I'm gonna let women know that I have a damn penis, and I go after what I want.
If it goes terrible, she rejects me, and 3 months went down the tube. Oh well, the world won't stop. My self respect won't be damage. My happiness in my own hands.
"You have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to overthink or analyze."
Precisely, She's just a girl, and I'm just a guy, and we share a mutual interest in each other.
Where it goes, only time will tell.
I don't think she's playing games. I think if anything I've boosted my worth over this weekend (not going to her party for other plans, and confidently asking her out on a whim), and now she wants to know if there is potential, which is how I'm approaching it.
Earlier I read some method in the DJ, which really struck a chord with me. A man who is considered a 10 with a 1 sex drive will have to settle with 5.5's at best, while a Man who is considered a 6 with a 10 sex drive can land 8's and 9's. I mean it makes sense if you don't let the girl know your intentions, she won't know. Beta males have to settle for women they deem unsatisfactory. It's natural selection. The strongest men get what they want.
I'm going to be Alpha from now on with women, and I think today was a set forward. I clearly let her know what I want. I put myself out there, and she even rejected me, but offered another day.
I also caught the end of Just Friends, which I've seen 500 times, but anyways the main character said, "You just have to put yourself out there and hope they will reciprocate the feelings," and that's so damn true. if I don't put my intentions out, without a doubt I wont' get what I want.
Now that I think about it, every time I put myself out there she has responded positively.
Asking her instead of working doing lunch - invites me back to her house.
Asking her to do something on that saturday - spend 5 hours together and even share cup cakes.
And recently, I haven't even put anything forward, and what as she done? Asked me out to lunch. Asked me to her party. Txted me all Saturday afternoon to make sure I was aware that she was having a party, and she wanted me to come.
At the last lunch I was passive, I was tired, and ultimately I was defeated. I was wishy-washy too. I was tired and beaten myself to death. I spent from Saturday when she proposed it to Thursday pondering of ways of progressing, and when it finally rolled around. I was exhausted, and it went nothing like it planned. I didn't even know where we were going to go. She proposed some place, and it went poorly. I was even confused on what I was going to order.
This time, I'll know where I'm gonna take her. It'll be clear that I enjoy her company, and that's all I know. I won't think of ways of trying to kiss her. I'm just going to go pick a place to eat and go with the flow. I'll make sure not to go down the Beta f'ing route. I'm not going to approach this as the "Decision day/ the end." If anything, it's going to be beginning. I'm gonna let women know that I have a damn penis, and I go after what I want.
If it goes terrible, she rejects me, and 3 months went down the tube. Oh well, the world won't stop. My self respect won't be damage. My happiness in my own hands.
"You have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to overthink or analyze."
Precisely, She's just a girl, and I'm just a guy, and we share a mutual interest in each other.
Where it goes, only time will tell.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 512
- Reaction score
- 2
Double posted? weird.
The Master Disaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 512
- Reaction score
- 2
Jesus, we were in her apartment ALL ALONE. All I had to say was something that stated my damn intentions. It could of been the cheesiest damn line like "You know. You look incredibly beautiful right now." That would of been all it would of taken...remotecontrol said:
Would of saved me 3 f'n months of this ****.
