Well, I fvcked up...

[MisterMcGee]

McGee then its worse than i thought three months.......nooooooooo

to save me having to read this entire novel...did he fvck her or not?

if not then what is this progress you talk of?????

The girl isn't the goal, he is. If you want a Field Report, look elsewhere.

@masterdisaster
I'm still not down on your mindset (still looking at the past and trying to make sense of things that are trivial and old news), but so long as you keep growing and changing for the better, then it's all good.
You're a growing person and you've hopefully locked on to a certain trait of yourself that you'd like to improve. Your problem is that you lack the realization of what the 'big picture' is. You're still micromanaging, which isn't good. Of course, you know that it isn't good, so what you need to do is 'fake it until you make it'. Meaning stop writing out your thoughts about little things that happen, get busy with other things, and so forth. That's what 'fake it until you make it' means to me. It's all habitual.
And you know what? This thread hurts you in this case. You don't OWE us anything. You don't need to write out your thoughts, clear things up for us, or make sure we understand whats going on in your mind. The instant you stop doing that, the easier it will be to let go of that mindset.

Similar to the 'let her go' advice people give you, you should let go of this thread as a place to spew your analytical thoughts and detailed reports. Come here to tell us how things are going, but don't indulge yourself in over analyzing and over describing what's going on. It's like eating junk food - it's not good for you.
Tell us what's up and so forth, but don't let this thread be a toilet for your thoughts.

The moment you stop acting like it's a big deal when writing to us in this thread, the easier it will be to let go of that mindset.

And writing big posts and then saying things like "but im just a guy and she's just a girl" like you're totally being 'down to earth' doesn't mean you're seeing things as simplified. Fake it a bit more and you'll see how much more enjoyable a relaxed mindset is toward dating. Other things deserve analytical thinking, like hobbies and work. The fun of dating is spoilt when you treat it like a case-study.

 

[The Master Disaster]

I talked with a good friend about this tonight, and he said that it sounded like she wanted to be chased, and it boils down to whether I want to chase her or not.

I asked him about this "Barry" dude, and I said, "She always refers to him as a friend." He said "Exactly."

... So do I want to chase her, that's a decision I have to think about. I think he's got a point.

So if I want her this time around, I have to be certain if I want her because she's made it brutally clear that she isn't an easy one to obtain.

For some reason, I keep thinking about dogs playing in the park. My dog loves to be chased. Some dogs won't chase him, so what he'll do is nibble on them, bark, scratch to get the attention. Then when he certain the other dog has his attention he'll bolt. Sometimes he'll chase other dogs, and then all of sudden start running away from that dog in the hopes that the other dog will run after him.

For some reason, this scenario really captures what's going on quite well. I don't show her attention; she'll nibble. I stop chasing; she'll bark. I get distracted; she'll chase me. All in the hopes that I'll run after her.

The only difference is I'm missing out on all the fun because I'm over-analyzing the very reason why she's chasing me. Well no more.

By the way, on face book I saw pictures of the party that I missed. She was tagged in a lot of them, but there were no pics of her romantically engaging with other men. There are a lot of her posing with other women. A couple looked really sad because she was sitting by her christmas tree gazing off in the room with this look of that can be only summed up sadness or boredom. Her whole body pointed into the room which made her sit awkwardly. She was next to some guy who looked shy as hell. He was holding this cup and was also gazing off in the room. It was really depressing looking.

EDIT: Wow, MM pointed out something that really caught my attention. Sounds kinda like me huh? I guess it's so easy to see from a far, but when your so close it is more difficult to grasp the entire scene.

But yea, you're right MisterMcGee. I've used the board to work out my emotions, and I really should distance myself from having all my passion drip into words and thoughts when I should be putting that passion behind my actions. When I'm writing, I never speak to people about new ideas because I can effectively talk myself dry, leading me to type a tapped piece. I write it down first, and get all my power behind my words; Then I'll introduce it to someone.

From now on, I'll just do play-by-play's.

 

[Igetit!]

Pimp-sicle,MisterMcGee,what do you say to this dude? It's like nothing gets through. It's like 17 pages,300+ replies,and 4 months later,and he's no closer to dating her than he was when the thread first started. All of our efforts have been futile,pointless. We say to simply ask her out,that's no good. We say to just move on,that's no good. All I can say is good luck Disaster. I hope you can get whatever it is you want from this situation.

I do agree with what Mister McGee said about innergame/working on yourself before trying to win over some chick. This is something you really need to do,Disaster. Even if some day in the future you do ask this girl out and start dating her,some of the holes I've seen in your "DJ" skills will hurt the relationship. I know. Some of the thing I've seen in you,I used to have in me.
Believe it or not,they're not hard to get rid of,you just have to identify them.
I already know this is going to fall on deaf ears,but try to do some of the things that MisterMcGee said.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I talked with a good friend about this tonight, and he said that it sounded like she wanted to be chased, and it boils down to whether I want to chase her or not.

This girl takes up 99% of the real estate in your head right now.... THAT is not good! The problem here is you can't be relaxed around her; your analyzing her every move. "She touched her hair," "her leg's pointed towards me" "her palms are faced up" etc etc etc. And then on top of it all your talking about it soooo much that its building this normal situation up into a Broadway play.

A girl will never want to be chased when she's attracted to a guy; she makes it very easy to for him. If a girl is playing hot and cold with you she's either a) an AW b) not interested enough to progess

I asked him about this "Barry" dude, and I said, "She always refers to him as a friend." He said "Exactly."

Exactly what?? Girls use that term vaguely. "A friend" could be a million things to a girl. It could be a guy she fuvks on the side, it could be a someone she has a crush on, it could a complete AFC that clings to hope that one day she'll see him differently. Bottom line, if your mind is thinking about Barry or the other monkeys that dance for her, its in the wrong place.

... So do I want to chase her, that's a decision I have to think about. I think he's got a point.

You've been chasing her for the past 3 months..... A guy should NEVER chase a girl. Show interest yes, chase NO!!

So if I want her this time around, I have to be certain if I want her because she's made it brutally clear that she isn't an easy one to obtain.

She's easy to get. The only reason you think otherwise is because you've made a simple situation EXTREMELY complex, then let your mind work against you rather than with you.

For some reason, I keep thinking about dogs playing in the park. My dog loves to be chased. Some dogs won't chase him, so what he'll do is nibble on them, bark, scratch to get the attention. Then when he certain the other dog has his attention he'll bolt. Sometimes he'll chase other dogs, and then all of sudden start running away from that dog in the hopes that the other dog will run after him.

Comparing a dog and a woman is comparing apples to oranges. Dogs are loyal no matter what. A woman's interest on the other hand is something that changes constantly.

For some reason, this scenario really captures what's going on quite well. I don't show her attention; she'll nibble. I stop chasing; she'll bark. I get distracted; she'll chase me. All in the hopes that I'll run after her.

It really seems like this girl is your life right now. I'm sure you do other things, but your ALWAYS thinking about her and when your not thinking about her, your thinking of her indirectly.

The only difference is I'm missing out on all the fun because I'm over-analyzing the very reason why she's chasing me. Well no more.

Dude, she's NOT chasing you; you'll know when she's chasing you.

By the way, on face book I saw pictures of the party that I missed. She was tagged in a lot of them, but there were no pics of her romantically engaging with other men.

Not saying she did anything on that night, but why would she put pics up of her on Facebook romantically engaging a guy??

There are a lot of her posing with other women. A couple looked really sad because she was sitting by her christmas tree gazing off in the room with this look of that can be only summed up sadness or boredom. Her whole body pointed into the room which made her sit awkwardly. She was next to some guy who looked shy as hell. He was holding this cup and was also gazing off in the room. It was really depressing looking.

You seriously take the cake on over-analyzing. This is a VERY unhealthy habit, that could eventually lead to major anxiety issues.

But yea, you're right MisterMcGee. I've used the board to work out my emotions, and I really should distance myself from having all my passion drip into words and thoughts when I should be putting that passion behind my actions. When I'm writing, I never speak to people about new ideas because I can effectively talk myself dry, leading me to type a tapped piece. I write it down first, and get all my power behind my words; Then I'll introduce it to someone.

Its okay to write down your thoughts, but you need to STOP OVER-ANALYZING. Its going to be really hard for you to do that because its such a part of who you are with women. But you've got to teach yourself not to do this.....

Why are you not going out and meeting new women and hooking up??

From now on, I'll just do play-by-play's.

Go have fun with her, a really think some alcohol will help you out A LOT! Don't get drunk, just have a couple drinks to loosen up a bit. Turn your brain off and just go off instinct.

These lunch get togethers will not help your cause, your too invested in the outcome to make progress with her. However if your at a bar, that'll be your best shot and making a move since you won't be sooooo worried about fuvkin' up.

BTW, its okay to go for it and get denied. She'll respect you more than she does right now for being a man and going for what you want. And look at the bright side, if she's down, then you can finally start having fun with her without being worried about your every move.


I really do want you to learn from this situation, but the problem here is you don't seem to understand what we are telling you; your reading the words, but you aren't absorbing the knowledge.




PIMP

 

[bam bam]

lolll ur like a woman MD loll

k u know what you do? do whatever bunch of bull**** it is you want to do. Stop wasting every once time here. Just post us updates about what you did and how things worked out. Dont waste any more MisterMcGee and Igetit's time. You pretend like you GET IT but you really dont you're just a yes person that agrees but does whatever he wants anyways. Yess ur right mistermcgee ur on the ball omg igetit you picked me apart so amazing i'm changing my life because you figured me out! hahah dude you're a joker if you ask me... ur a drama queen MD like in relationship with this chicken head ur the same way on the thread. Mixed signals bull**** and some more none-sense. It's cool to want help and get a lot of it. But what good is advice from 20 different people when you just yes it all and do none of it and repeat the same garbage how you agree in different ways each time?

your a hopeless cause my friend. You know how we solved problems with your kind in my boxing gym? We'd beat the crap out of you in the ring so bad that you'd either listen or never come back. *John keep your hands up when you punch and bring them back fast to you're face* *ok adrian OK np np* *3 min inside the ring does it maybe for the first 2 punches* So annoyed as we get sparring these stubborn people we'd just beat them up bloody them up send them home with a nice reminder of why you dont waste peoples times.

Another way I can really really relate to this is I did personal training for a bit of time in my life. Everyone wants a six pack and to look sexy for the summer! You sit down with them for an hour explain basics of dieting. Then you write them up a diet guide not even a plan because they wont follow a plan. You'd give it to them on lets say mon. See you're client most of the time twice a week i'd see them on thursday and here comes the story time! Well craziest thing bam's I slept in every day of the week was late for work had no time to make any food! couldn't make it at night because I had meetings! So u know I had **** food all week but yeah dont worry I got the diet on control. ok ok weeks and weeks pass and the same **** always happens. It's the same thing with you which is why I find it very annoying reading your post and I had to write this. Nothing worse then putting good energy/intention into a person you want to help and them turning around and bull ****en ****ting you to your face. You dont want advice so dont pretend you want it. You want people to give you hope and advice that you find good for this situation to give you hope. You've drawn such a beautiful picture of this girl that if you walked in on her getting gang banged by 5 guys you'd walk out and go umm must of been her twin. Next day she'd go omg where were u crazy party lets go for lunch and btw lets date I wanna be ur gf! You'd be like omg really I knew she liked me it couldn't have been her last night she's so amazing everything I painted her to be! I wonder how our kids will look! O have you started to think about how wonderful she'd treat u? How people would look at you being jealous of how pretty the woman attached to you is? What about thinking of how caring she'd be for you and understanding? Why dont you tell us all about this beautiful picture you've drawn of her. I can put my benz and steinway on the line saying that you dont even know this chick that well! You know her from using outside sources to get to know her asides from basic fluff talk. If anyone here that is a more then capable pua here would tell you more about her then you could after talking to her for 30 min.

I'm not sorry I went off at you. Not even the slightest bit! You deserve to be in this rut your in because you dont value the people that dont know you but care about you at all. These guys have spent a good portion of their time investing in giving you clear and sweet advice and all you do is basically walk all over it. Then try covering it up in a nice way but saying yeah your right bla bla bla. Grow some balls and be straight up with people. You can't even do that on a form how will you ever do that in real life?

 

[The Master Disaster]

Damn, you guys are in need of a reality check.

I mentioned before and in another thread about this girl in my french class.

Today, proved that I have learned something. I came into class 10 mins late. Sat next to her, and damn today went utterly, utterly perfect. I couldn't even tell you how flawless it went.

She kept telling me that she had cookies, and after the 3rd time she finally offered. She was rubbing my arm, we were laughing are ass off at stupid stuff, as people looked at us. I was on top my f'ing game. I was ridiculously confident. Like it was every insecurity left my body, and everyone could tell.

She said hold up as she was gathering her stuff as we were leaving, and we walked out of class, and we got to know each other. Man, we clicked. I swear I've never clicked with a girl this well before. There was no "What am I doing?" "How are things going?" "Is she into me?" We just talked about who we were and what we wanted to do (preliminary stuff), and man I swear I've never played a girl like that so damn well before. While we were walking, she saw this guy and stopped to talk to him. She gave me a wave, which I figured was a goodbye because they were talking about some study abroad thing. She then literally yelled, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!" twice, and then I gave her a smile and said I thought it was a wave goodbye. She was like "No Silly!" Today was ridiculously easy.

She is mad, mad into me.

So I figured, I'd been down this friend's road before. Not a place, I wish to venture down with another girl. I asked her if she wanted to get together and study before our test on Friday, possibly Thursday afternoon.

She agreed and got her number. I thought she had a boyfriend... but she didn't even say one peep about him. I don't even know if they're still dating at this point, so I'm just going to go as though she doesn't. Fvck it. A girl insists on giving you cookies... perhaps a sign? J/p I'm pretty sure that's a damn near tell with an exclamation point.

So we're meeting up on Thursday to study for the test. By the way class goes, I highly doubt much studying will take place.

Wow, it makes me wonder about this old girl. I'll go with her on that lunch, but man it MASSIVELY boosts my confidence knowing there is another girl, who I'm really digging right now, on deck.

 

[Darth]

Wow.....

No offense, but I can't believe that this girl is still on your mind and you still don't know how she sees you....

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Damn, you guys are in need of a reality check.

I mentioned before and in another thread about this girl in my french class.

Today, proved that I have learned something. I came into class 10 mins late. Sat next to her, and damn today went utterly, utterly perfect. I couldn't even tell you how flawless it went.

She kept telling me that she had cookies, and after the 3rd time she finally offered. She was rubbing my arm, we were laughing are ass off at stupid stuff, as people looked at us. I was on top my f'ing game. I was ridiculously confident. Like it was every insecurity left my body, and everyone could tell.

She said hold up as she was gathering her stuff as we were leaving, and we walked out of class, and we got to know each other. Man, we clicked. I swear I've never clicked with a girl this well before. There was no "What am I doing?" "How are things going?" "Is she into me?" We just talked about who we were and what we wanted to do (preliminary stuff), and man I swear I've never played a girl like that so damn well before. While we were walking, she saw this guy and stopped to talk to him. She gave me a wave, which I figured was a goodbye because they were talking about some study abroad thing. She then literally yelled, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!" twice, and then I gave her a smile and said I thought it was a wave goodbye. She was like "No Silly!" Today was ridiculously easy.

She is mad, mad into me.

So I figured, I'd been down this friend's road before. Not a place, I wish to venture down with another girl. I asked her if she wanted to get together and study before our test on Friday, possibly Thursday afternoon.

She agreed and got her number. I thought she had a boyfriend... but she didn't even say one peep about him. I don't even know if they're still dating at this point, so I'm just going to go as though she doesn't. Fvck it. A girl insists on giving you cookies... perhaps a sign? J/p I'm pretty sure that's a damn near tell with an exclamation point.

So we're meeting up on Thursday to study for the test. By the way class goes, I highly doubt much studying will take place.

Wow, it makes me wonder about this old girl. I'll go with her on that lunch, but man it MASSIVELY boosts my confidence knowing there is another girl, who I'm really digging right now, on deck.

That's what I'm talking about!!! Good job bro!!

One tip; don't try to hide your intentions behind with a "lets study together." Go set up something outside of school; getting a drink after class, going to the gym, something that involves you escalating the attraction.

Remember don't be afraid to show interest, its okay as long as you stay in control.



PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Double post for post ***** status....haha



PIMP

 

[MisterMcGee]

Yeah just be like "we should go out sometime". Bam, that's it. Try not to tiptoe your way around the ordeal. Asking a girl out makes it clear enough that you're interested. If you make it 'friendly' or 'study related' then it kills the whole point of going out with her, because you're not being direct, you're simply trying to get her to say 'yes' by being safe. And she can sense this.
I'm not saying be super direct, but say something like "we should go out sometime". It's clear without being too forward (it's called being socially aware and such no need for me to try and dissect it).

 

[Igetit!]

Yeah just be like "we should go out sometime". Bam, that's it. Try not to tiptoe your way around the ordeal. Asking a girl out makes it clear enough that you're interested. If you make it 'friendly' or 'study related' then it kills the whole point of going out with her, because you're not being direct, you're simply trying to get her to say 'yes' by being safe. And she can sense this.
I'm not saying be super direct, but say something like "we should go out sometime". It's clear without being too forward (it's called being socially aware and such no need for me to try and dissect it).

Agreed MisterMcGee. What you're saying is he shouldn't try to pull a "bait and switch". He shouldn't tell her he wants to study,then once he has her alone at his place,he throws the books aside and starts trying to paw the girl.
I've seen guys try that here on the forum before. They'll call a girl two or three times to set up a date and each time she'll give them some excuse,then she'll just start to not answer phone at all ignoring the calls. The guy still won't get it,then guess what he'll do? He'll try to call her from a different number,one that she doesn't recognize in order to trick her into talking to her. Stupid. Yeah,he'll get her on the phone that way,but once she realizes it's him,she'll just go through the motions on the phone,then when he asks her out again,it's excuse city all over again.

She may go to his house under the assumption that they're going to study,but once they get there,if he just starts trying to grope her or make out with her (since he said he doubts there will be much studying going on),she's going to get uncomfortable and want to leave.

Like you said MisterMcGee,he took the "safe route". If you want a date,then ask for a date,stop trying to avoid rejection. Stop trying to pull a "wolf in sheep's clothing" on the girl. If she's "mad,mad" into you as you say,then why didn't you just ask her out instead of over to your place to study? That's what I do. If I'm intersted in a girl,I'll ask her out. If she says yes,we'll go out,and if she says no,then we won't. It's just that simple.

 

[The Master Disaster]

Well, I did the study date because if she still had a boyfriend she wouldn't do a date thing, but the study date was a safe bet.

I plan on taking her to this local coffee shop that has a real lively beat to it. Studying at a coffee shop downtown can easily lead into dinner.
----

I texted the other girl while I was in class to confirm lunch today, and she said she had to work... so I was like, "Oh I thought were doing lunch."

She responded that we could it later in the week. I said I was busy at lunch for the rest of the week, but if she wanted to dinner I could.

So she said, "I'm free for dinner any night." And so, I'm taking her out for dinner tonight.

So.. we shall see.

------

Wow, I've grown a lot in 3 months. Look at this, 3 months ago I wasn't even dating any girl, not even a possible prospect, and now I am seeing two girls outside of class. I'm getting invited to parties.

I mean, it's a huge step forward.

 

[Igetit!]

Well, I did the study date because if she still had a boyfriend she wouldn't do a date thing, but the study date was a safe bet.

Disaster,you just don't get it. Unbelieveable. You say you did the "study date" because is was a safe bet. Dude,THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!!! The problem is that you keep trying to "play it safe". STOP THAT!!! Stop trying to tiptoe into a date/relationship. That's being insecure. Let me give you an example of how I asked out a girl one time:

I had approached her at her counter (she was a cashier). We fluff talked for a little bit then after that this is how the convo went:
me:Are you married?
her:No.
me:Boyfriend?
her:No.
me:Good,then we can go out then.
her:Woah,woah,wait a minute...
me: (interrupting her)Well,what's up? You said you're not married. You don't have a boyfriend. So what's the problem?

Anyway,she gave me her number,and we ended up dating for a little over a year.

There. You see that? Do you think I came off as nervous or afraid of rejection? You have to put yourself out there....totally out there. Jump into the pool man. Stop sticking your toe in the water trying to ease into it.
You want her to go out with you because she's attracted to you,not because you tricked her by telling her you want to study,then once you get her alone,you switch things up. You do that,then she'll feel deceived and she won't trust you. And she definately won't go anywhere else with you because she won't trust what your true intentions are.

I texted the other girl while I was in class to confirm lunch today, and she said she had to work... so I was like, "Oh I thought were doing lunch."

Well isn't this interesting. And this is the same girl who was about to have a heart attack over you not going to her party,right? Wow.

She responded that we could it later in the week. I said I was busy at lunch for the rest of the week, but if she wanted to dinner I could.

So she said, "I'm free for dinner any night." And so, I'm taking her out for dinner tonight.

There's no attraction here on her part. Just that simple. First of all,she's in control. Instead of you leading,she having you buy her dinner on her schedule. You also made a mistake here Disaster. You texting her and asking if the two of you were still on for lunch meant that you to getting together was more important to you than to her.
You shouldn't have sent the text. My guess is that if you had of continue to act and behave the same way you did as you were in the days leading up to that party,then she would have continue behaving the same way too. You saw she kept contacting you and urging you to come to her party? If you had continued to ignore her and not sent that text,she probably would have broken her neck trying to get you to show up at the lunch as well. I don't believe she she to work. And even if she does,that means she confirmed the "lunch date" with you already knowing she'd have to flake because of work.

So.. we shall see.

We shall see what? What are you expecting to happen?

------

Wow, I've grown a lot in 3 months. Look at this, 3 months ago I wasn't even dating any girl,

This was because you chose not to date any. You zeroed in like a laser onto this one girl,while not even acknowledging the other women around you. Remember the girls in your french class who kept asking you out?

not even a possible prospect,

I REPEAT: Remember the girls in your french class who kept asking you out? Date 12-9-08/reply #132? Ring a bell?

 

[The Master Disaster]

She just sent a text saying her friends wants to come along do you care?

... What the hell do I say to that?

 

[Igetit!]

A girl's night out? LOL. That should be a clue to you man. She doesn't want to go to dinner alone with you because it sets a romantic tone. You can do whatever you want. If it were me,I'd probably cancel/flake on her.
My guess is this:If you say no,then I can guarantee you she's going to find a way to flake. If you say yes,then she'll more than likely show up with her friends,but is that really what you had in mind for the dinner? I'd guess no. Go ahead and say yes. Just realize that she turned your "date" into a night out on the town for her and her friends....which you will be paying for.

 

[The Master Disaster]

A girl's night out? LOL. That should be a clue to you man. She doesn't want to go to dinner alone with you because it sets a romantic tone. You can do whatever you want. If it were me,I'd probably cancel/flake on her.
My guess is this:If you say no,then I can guarantee you she's going to find a way to flake. If you say yes,then she'll more than likely show up with her friends,but is that really what you had in mind for the dinner? I'd guess no. Go ahead and say yes. Just realize that she turned your "date" into a night out on the town for her and her friends....which you will be paying for.

Ugh, my options:

Either I flake, and then it'll happen another night.
Either I say no, and she might flake.
Or I say yes, and I'm doomed.

I'm going to take control. I'll tell her that "no offense, I intended on just seeing you."

Boom, I it makes it easier if she flakes because it will be cheaper, and I know then I can move on.

 

[Igetit!]

I'm going to take control. I'll tell her that "no offense, I intended on just seeing you."

Forgive me man,I 'm starting to get a little choked up. Are you FINALLY starting to understand? Are you finally starting to "get it"? Could this day have finally come??? My keyboard is getting wet from my tears. MisterMcGee,Pimp-sicle,our little boy has grown up and finally become a man....or at least I hope.

Yeah man,those are pretty much your options. Say yes,and it's you in the middle of a girl's night out. Say no,and she'll probably flake....but there's no guarantee she'll flake. It's just that my spider sense is tingling for some reason. You can take your chances by saying no and seeing if she will still show up. All I was saying is not to be surprised if you do say no and at the last minute something "comes up" and she can't make it. I'm curious to know how her friends found out that she was supposed to meet up with you tonight,and who it was that invited them along. These are all clues from women you need to learn to read man.

But your idea of taking control and telling her you just intended for it to be the two of you is golden. Just don't sound all apologetic about it.

 

[The Master Disaster]

I'm curious to know how her friends found out that she was supposed to meet up with you tonight,and who it was that invited them along.

I picked up that loud and clear. That's why I didn't approach it like she had a starving roommate or something. I was like ... fishy. We came up with this dinner plan an hour or two ago, and her roommate asked to go along while she was at work... hmm...

I wonder if she just asked to gage my intention. Do I merely just want to go out as friends? because a friend wouldn't care if a roommate tagged along.

But your idea of taking control and telling her you just intended for it to be the two of you is golden. Just don't sound all apologetic about it.

I didn't apologize, not one bit.

She had the date, the place, and a friend in 1 text, so I responded with a text that took control. My text was "Mexican? I got a better place in mind, and no offense I intend on just seeing you."

She sent a text back saying "O ok well then itll just be me and u where you want."

So it's still on. I doubt she'll flake, but we'll see.

 

[Jitterbug]

He'll keep this lame sh!t going forever until you guys stop giving him attention. Then he'll kick himself in the arse and get on with it.

 

[MisterMcGee]

If you don't want to help then don't try to derail. We're not only trying to help him, but help others in his situation by writing these things on a FORUM where others can read (and, if they want, chip in).