V-day?

[Black Widow Void]

Today is February 3rd. When contrasted another reference date, Oct 25, the previous year, there is not much difference in a year to year basis. Except for one year in 2013. I was in a relationship with someone leading to marriage on October 25, 2012, and on February 3rd, 2013 she was completely gone and I was single again (ie we broke up in November 16, 2012, but again it's about contrast of specific reference point dates...the reality in Oct 25, 2012 vs the reality in Feb 3, 2013). The Valentine's Day/month really stung badly in 2013. There was never a year that I felt worst that that time. Having years where the previous year is not dramatically different to the current year, is rather peaceful in its own way (ie my reality in Oct 25, 2023 vs today is about the same today). Felt like a hole in my belly in 2013 during this month.

Virtual pat on the back to you.
To some degree, we all go through some stuff that's not easy to forget I've been there and am sure other forum members have too.

 

[SW15]

So a radio station in my area is hosting a singles mixer event on V-Day night, its about 2 hours long and I’m pretty sure there’s no admission fee but I could be wrong about that.

Likely an event that will be complete shiit. We have a thread about singles events in general below.

Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...

www.sosuave.net

Have you even fixed your PIED problem? If you haven't fixed your PIED problem, there's no point in doing anything. You need a structured rehab program for your PIED.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Have you even fixed your PIED problem? If you haven't fixed your PIED problem, there's no point in doing anything. You need a structured rehab program for your PIED.

What is a PIED?

 

[SW15]

What is a PIED?

Porn induced erectile dysfunction. Someone with porn induced erectile dysfunction is able to get erections while watching porn but is unable to get erections in real life sexual situations.

I find NYE and V days to be the two days that are total amateur nights for people who don’t normally go out, everything is overpriced and crowded. It’s insane to me.

New Years Eve and Valentine's Day are litmus tests of one's relationship status.

Those days are designed more for couples than unattached people. On New Years Eve, it can be a very low feeling to not have someone to kiss at midnight when all the established couples are kissing each other. It can be very difficult to find that midnight kiss randomly at the bar the night of NYE.

As for Valentine's Day, it's an easier holiday within an established relationship as compared to unattached or just barely starting (1-3 dates in).

I agree with the assessment that they are overpriced and often amateur nights.

Super Bowl Sunday (which now is set to either coincide) with the weekend before Valentine's Day or Valentine's Day itself is another relationship litmus test. A lot of Super Bowl Sunday gatherings are very couples heavy at private residence parties. Most men will now bring their girlfriends or wives to Super Bowl parties at a private residence. An unattached man can feel quite alone and out of place at a Super Bowl party that is almost all couples.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Porn induced erectile dysfunction. Someone with porn induced erectile dysfunction is able to get erections while watching porn but is unable to get erections in real life sexual situations.

Thanks. I tried to google PIED, but that explanation didn't come up.

 

[needimprovement250]

Likely an event that will be complete shiit. We have a thread about singles events in general below.

Who knows, it could be. Like I said when I first mentioned it on this thread, I looked up the hosts of this morning talk show that are putting on this event and they’re all older than my age group. So there’s a good chance I don’t line up with the age demographic that will be there. Because even though it says open to all ages 21+, most millennials and gen z don’t even listen to the radio and wouldn’t even know about this event anyway. And like I also already mentioned, I feel like I would fail the most common icebreaker first question of what you do for work. All I’m doing right now is delivering for DoorDash and that’s it, that might’ve been ok in my early 20’s but I’m 30 and I bet most or all of the women there would look down on me and immediately write me off from that, which would make me feel even worse.

Have you even fixed your PIED problem? If you haven't fixed your PIED problem, there's no point in doing anything. You need a structured rehab program for your PIED.

No I’m working on recovering from it still, but only started at the beginning of the new year so that’s not enough time I’m sure. That did cross my mind though that in the unlikely scenario where I did meet a woman at this event and she wanted to have a ONS, my PIED would just ruin that.

 

[corrector]

And like I also already mentioned, I feel like I would fail the most common icebreaker first question of what you do for work. All I’m doing right now is delivering for DoorDash and that’s it, that might’ve been ok in my early 20’s but I’m 30 and I bet most or all of the women there would look down on me and immediately write me off from that, which would make me feel even worse.

We all seem to hit all of the anti-seduction checkmarks.

No I’m working on recovering from it still, but only started at the beginning of the new year so that’s not enough time I’m sure. That did cross my mind though that in the unlikely scenario where I did meet a woman at this event and she wanted to have a ONS, my PIED would just ruin that.

I put some bold highlights in your post to illustrate what you are saying, and if it makes sense to even go to this event. Why worry about a stage that in all likihood would never happen since you may get nexted on the icebreaker question anyway? If you feel you hit most or all of the anti-seduction checkmarks to the point you are just shooting yourself in the foot as soon as you open your mouth, then why worry about a scenario that might never happen?

 

[SW15]

I’m working on recovering from it still, but only started at the beginning of the new year so that’s not enough time I’m sure. That did cross my mind though that in the unlikely scenario where I did meet a woman at this event and she wanted to have a ONS, my PIED would just ruin that.

You might need to go to a rehab facility for sex addiction or be in outpatient treatment for it.

most millennials and gen z don’t even listen to the radio and wouldn’t even know about this event anyway.

There's a good chance that is true. If most Millennials & Gen Z don't listen to terrestrial radio, the only way they'd know about it is through following the radio station on Facebook, X, or Instagram. That's not likely. At 30, you are a late Millennial and Gen Z women (the oldest turn 27 this year) are likely more of your target anyway than Millennials.

I feel like I would fail the most common icebreaker first question of what you do for work. All I’m doing right now is delivering for DoorDash and that’s it, that might’ve been ok in my early 20’s but I’m 30 and I bet most or all of the women there would look down on me and immediately write me off from that, which would make me feel even worse.

Try to avoid all talk of work. I know it is difficult. I have been unemployed before and women don't like it. Very difficult to implement Roosh's 2011 "Getting Laid While Unemployed" article.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

White collar women are likely to write off a DoorDash delivery person but women who are cashiers at Walmart or McDonald's won't look down on that. Maybe you need to focus on trying to date women who work fast food or quick service type places or are grocery store/mall store workers.

 

[needimprovement250]

You might need to go to a rehab facility for sex addiction or be in outpatient treatment for it.

That probably would help. I’ve been addicted to this for 18 years now and the length of the addiction alone is proof that I cannot hold myself accountable and need outside help to stop. There actually is a rehab facility for porn addicts somewhere in Utah and I don’t know how much it costs, but it is probably expensive since you live there for 45 days, room and board included and no internet access. A month and a half doesn’t really seem like it would be long enough though.

Try to avoid all talk of work. I know it is difficult. I have been unemployed before and women don't like it. Very difficult to implement Roosh's 2011 "Getting Laid While Unemployed" article.

Yeah that is very difficult since that is one of the most common icebreaker questions when meeting new women and at the most you’re probably just postponing this discussion.

White collar women are likely to write off a DoorDash delivery person but women who are cashiers at Walmart or McDonald's won't look down on that. Maybe you need to focus on trying to date women who work fast food or quick service type places or are grocery store/mall store workers.

They more than likely would since white collar women went to college and are working high paying jobs and supporting themselves. They won’t want to date a guy who has no higher education and still lives with his parents. Those women would probably be more likely to date a guy like me, and a girl who I’ve been interested in for a long time actually is a mall store worker. But who knows, there are times when even they only want a man with a higher ranking career since it could level them up.

There's a good chance that is true. If most Millennials & Gen Z don't listen to terrestrial radio, the only way they'd know about it is through following the radio station on Facebook, X, or Instagram. That's not likely. At 30, you are a late Millennial and Gen Z women (the oldest turn 27 this year) are likely more of your target anyway than Millennials.

I’m sure that isn’t likely because this radio station actually has two separate social media accounts as well, one for the station itself and the other for the morning talk show, the latter is hosting the singles mixer and their social media accounts are the only ones promoting this event, the station’s main accounts aren’t. So that creates an even smaller chance that the younger crowd would find out about this since that demographic is not waking up and tuning into a morning talk show on the radio when they start the day or drive to work, they’re putting on their playlists from their phones instead.

 

[SW15]

That probably would help. I’ve been addicted to this for 18 years now and the length of the addiction alone is proof that I cannot hold myself accountable and need outside help to stop. There actually is a rehab facility for porn addicts somewhere in Utah and I don’t know how much it costs, but it is probably expensive since you live there for 45 days, room and board included and no internet access. A month and a half doesn’t really seem like it would be long enough though.

I would say that the best thing for you would be to go there. I think you need to make the case for your parents to pay to send you there. Porn is more addicting than heroin. If you were a heroin addict, your parents would pay for you to go to drug rehab. You are more likely to get the help you need if you go to that porn addiction facility in Utah for 45 days.

Fix the porn addiction and PIED, then deal with dating. You can date as an underemployed guy if you select the correct target market. You have no business dating if you can't get your penis erect.

 

[needimprovement250]

I put some bold highlights in your post to illustrate what you are saying, and if it makes sense to even go to this event. Why worry about a stage that in all likihood would never happen since you may get nexted on the icebreaker question anyway? If you feel you hit most or all of the anti-seduction checkmarks to the point you are just shooting yourself in the foot as soon as you open your mouth, then why worry about a scenario that might never happen?

I probably do hit all of those checkmarks in all honesty. I feel like where my life currently is, there’s nothing that I would be proud of and that would impress women when they ask me questions about myself. If I’m ever around women (which isn’t often for me) I’ve actually found myself trying to keep them at arm’s length, almost as some sort of subconscious self defense mechanism since I’ve felt that the more they learn about where I’m at in my life, the less interested they’ll become. It would be one thing if I was also in school right now because then I could play it off that I’m only doing DoorDash for money while I’m in school to start a new career, but I decided to take this semester off so that I could go on an Aaron Clarey style recon mission to find cheaper areas to move to, and I’ve just been doing DoorDash to raise money for that mission ever since. I do plan on being back in school by summer though.

 

[needimprovement250]

I would say that the best thing for you would be to go there. I think you need to make the case for your parents to pay to send you there. Porn is more addicting than heroin. If you were a heroin addict, your parents would pay for you to go to drug rehab. You need to go that porn addiction facility in Utah for 45 days.

I could try to pay for it myself honestly. Depending on how much it is, I could always use DoorDash to raise money for it like I’m doing now for the Aaron Clarey style recon mission.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

seeing someone who I've really enjoyed seeing going on date 6 (hopefully?) soon.. it's unclear though where things stand right now in many ways, should be more clarity after this week.

Either will be my favorite valentines day, or worst lol.. or something in between where things are still murky. Timing is certainly timing.

 

[SW15]

Skip the Valentine's Day singles mixer though. You would be better off going to a regular bar with no special event that night. This is all moot if you can't get an erection with in-person sex.

 

[corrector]

I could try to pay for it myself honestly. Depending on how much it is, I could always use DoorDash to raise money for it like I’m doing now for the Aaron Clarey style recon mission.

But do you really have a porn addiction / pied problem or do you have a problem with women in the first place?

Chads look at porn too and they have enough women who like them naturally and they never seem to have PIED/ED problems.
That's quite a burden to put on yourself to say that you are not successful with women because of PIED/ED.

The issues with ED with a woman might be more related to the anxiety that you are not used to dealing with women in the first place and feeling nervous. Do you see someone like @GoodMan32 or @MatureDJ complaining about getting ED when they are dealing with escorts?
They probably don't just rely on escorts but likely also watch porn/fap too. If you are not dealing with real women, then you are not going to feel comfortable or feel wired, regardless of whether you watch porn or not. Therefore, what you need to do is get more experience with real women and use Viagra or some other herbals if you feel insecure about the ED issues.

I haven't looked at porn/fapped for a while because of this video below:

There is something about this lady, that when you hear her speaking, then you don't want to look at any porn or fap. Probably because she doesn't do it either and is a good example of someone who is not doing that.

Maybe if you look at this video too you'll lose the desire to look at porn or fap if anything of whatever she is saying makes any sense.

If this video does not work, then you can try the Utah thing.

 

[corrector]

...that being said, I still have an OF subscription to one "lady". I don't actually go on OnlyFans anymore. However, there is this wierd effect that when I'm hugging my pillows I'm thinking about her while I'm hugging them while I have that subscription on. Guess it makes for a nice sleep experience. Despite this, I don't want to log on to that site again and rather just keep that experience in my head.

I'll be seeing the above video continues to hold this "de-activation" though this week. There is nothing wrong with hugging pillows and feeling happy about it. It is still not fapping so it's not sexual.

 

[Mertz09]

Actually once I wasn’t a girl any more I came to understand Valentines Day (while the origin is chivalrous etc.) has become bastardized to such a degree as to be too expensive (why pay 2-4x on Valentines for the same dinner etc.) that’s normal price any other day. Ditto flowers etc.

I think spontaneous gestures are more meaningful and my anniversary is important (of the date we met & of our wedding day.). Those are more meaningful to me.

I find NYE and V days to be the two days that are total amateur nights for people who don’t normally go out, everything is overpriced and crowded. It’s insane to me.

He’s got a work trip that whole week, funny enough, but I might fly out & join him a couple nights (and we will stay in on Valentines Day itself…)

lol.

Outstanding! As Usually

 

[MatureDJ]

...that being said, I still have an OF subscription to one "lady". I don't actually go on OnlyFans anymore. However, there is this wierd effect that when I'm hugging my pillows I'm thinking about her while I'm hugging them while I have that subscription on. Guess it makes for a nice sleep experience. Despite this, I don't want to log on to that site again and rather just keep that experience in my head.

I'll be seeing the above video continues to hold this "de-activation" though this week. There is nothing wrong with hugging pillows and feeling happy about it. It is still not fapping so it's not sexual.

You could get a waifu pillow:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=waifu+pillow

 

[MatureDJ]

Remember March 14th is “Steak and a BJ day”.
So whatever you decide to spend, plug in that reciporcation.

Pi day?

Pi Day - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[MatureDJ]

Consumerist holiday, I don't celebrate.

Is this because you are incelebrate or incelibate?