Using alcohol to help your game

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I'm enjoying my experience with less drinking. We'll see how tonight goes. If I don't need alcohol when I'm alone I probably will need less when being social.

Not too many people are able to see the dependency and then break away from it. It's like trying to take away their thumb they're so dependant on it.

...
Most people are totally dead then they start drinking and thirty minutes later the wallflower is life of the party. I can get that way, but I think it's more internal than "I need a drink".

The question is whether or not they realize that they have it within them if they're counting on the booze to bring it out.

 

[ILikeGirls<3]

If I can lay the girl I want, it wouldn't matter to me if I used alcohol to get it or not. So, since either option has equal value to me, I choose the one that helps my game more, which is to drink. Seems like airtight reasoning to me.

 

[reset]

The question is whether or not they realize that they have it within them if they're counting on the booze to bring it out.

Yeah that's a good point. Whatever fun self you have, has to be the personality you have if you weren't being self conscious. Same thing for people when they drink and end up getting all depressed or wanting to fight.

When I get drunk, I will talk to everyone and make friends with people and all that stuff, zero fear. So the key is to make contact with that part. That and I can't get the image of a camel back flask out of my head so it's going to be hard to undo that image now.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If I can lay the girl I want, it wouldn't matter to me if I used alcohol to get it or not. So, since either option has equal value to me, I choose the one that helps my game more, which is to drink. Seems like airtight reasoning to me.

Like I said earlier, whatever crutch works for you. Some guys aren't dependent on it, some guys are. It just seems as if most young guys rely on it more for some reason, that they aren't authentic in their game. So when you're lacking and don't have the fortitude, you compensate for your shortcomings and alcohol is one of the easiest ways when you need a quick fix. How's that for reasoning?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah that's a good point. Whatever fun self you have, has to be the personality you have if you weren't being self conscious. Same thing for people when they drink and end up getting all depressed or wanting to fight.

All in the name of getting loose and comfortable.

When I get drunk, I will talk to everyone and make friends with people and all that stuff, zero fear. So the key is to make contact with that part. That and I can't get the image of a camel back flask out of my head so it's going to be hard to undo that image now.

The key is to fight the fear and overcome it. People tend to alter their state of conciousness in order to hide from it. It's just hard to swallow that a DJ would depend on stuff to hide from such things in order to be successful.

Oh yeah, here's a Camelbak. Think about the buzz you could get by carrying a full one of those on your back!

http://www.rei.com/product/733668

 

[reset]

It's just hard to swallow that a DJ would depend on stuff to hide from such things in order to be successful. Oh yeah, here's a Camelbak.

http://www.rei.com/product/733668

THIS is why I've stopped drinking alone. The more I type it it sounds like I have a drinking problem. I can go a few days without a beer but sometimes I'll just down a sixer in like three hours, alone. Not for almost three weeks now, only one beer as a reward for sending out resumes. Not looking for kudos but it's a big deal for me. That's why I keep writing it because I can't believe I'm pulling it off.

I guess part of me is saying "how much is you and how much is your habits?"

At some point I'll probably return to having a beer every day or so watching a DVD or something, but I'm on a roll so I'm just going to keep experimenting.

That's a big pack, you'd be safer to make sure it's like 40 proof, that's a lot to sip at once.

 

[The Inside Man]

I remember hearing some of my friends in college say..."pick up chicks when I'm not smashed? That would be impossible I wouldn't even know what to do!"

I was in somewhat the same boat, all my hookups over a 2 or 3 year period where when I was intoxicated and partying at least a little. My junior year and senior year I dated a couple girls that either didn't party, or only partied once in a while. It was an adjustment, but it felt more real, the anxiety, the joy, the ups and downs. I don't drink hardly at all anymore but will have a few drinks if I go out every now and then. I am very comfortable talking to women without being under the influence though, but it took me a while to get to that point. It's not cut and dried but don't rely on getting drunk every time you want to "PU" because you will most likely only do it on weekends then, or become an alc who drinks every day. Neither is feasible.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I see your point of view and can see that you are obviously not in favor of what I've been preaching in this topic, but as Mystery said you'll never get rid of the fear of the approach. For a guy of his stature who has the highest profile of DJ out of anyone in this world he still can't get rid of that fear in its entirety. Of course I'm not speaking for him, though that's what I interpret through his words.

 

[reset]

as Mystery said you'll never get rid of the fear of the approach.

I wonder if you can convert that fear into excitement or even fun.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I wonder if you can convert that fear into excitement or even fun.

If that's possible, wow someone needs to spill tell us all.

 

[reset]

Well what about the dudes who are going to bungee jump. I'm sure they have adrenaline and stuff but they still jump, and they go "wow that was fun! I was scared to death!"

Never done it myself but I bet it's similar.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well what about the dudes who are going to bungee jump. I'm sure they have adrenaline and stuff but they still jump, and they go "wow that was fun! I was scared to death!"

Never done it myself but I bet it's similar.

Similar in that they are putting their trust into something other than themselves, the bungee chord. They'll take the leap as long as they trust that they are sure that they are securely attached. If they're lucky the cord will snap them back. It's a literal leap of faith.

...shift...

If I take this drink I trust that it will allow me to not feel the nervousness and trepidation of interacting with people. I won't worry whether or not they will accept me, I won't worry about saying the wrong thing, I won't worry about anything (hopefully). I will put my trust in this drink and that it will allow me to feel OK about who I am and what I am about to do.

...

I've bungeed once at a state fair. It was a cool experience. Personally, putting my trust into that chord once was enough.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I wonder if you can convert that fear into excitement or even fun.

Easily. But it would involve identifying the specific fear and how it effects you. You'd then reframe the fear into something more manageable like fun or curiosity. It's basically taking your perception of what you believe is reality and changing it.

 

[reset]

Well said. The sad thing is equating talking with a stranger to a saber tooth tiger. It would be cool if you could bypass your brain and say "women are not prehistoric predators" and just react that way, lol.

Guess that only comes with a positive attitude and experience. Although like most guys I'd prefer a lobotomy to replace the fear center part with a pleasure center part.

So I'll drink to pull that off. Just kidding.

 

[reset]

Easily. But it would involve identifying the specific fear and how it effects you. You'd then reframe the fear into something more manageable like fun or curiosity. It's basically taking your perception of what you believe is reality and changing it.

Saw this after my previous post. That's what I want! Me do that!

I'm doing it with writing intentions and visualizing so far. Still scared.

But if I keep talking about approaching chicks at some point it's just going to happen. I want to get out there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Saw this after my previous post. That's what I want! Me do that!

I'm doing it with writing intentions and visualizing so far. Still scared.

But if I keep talking about approaching chicks at some point it's just going to happen. I want to get out there.

Then get out there. When you actually think about it appoaching women is extremely easy, it's what comes after that hangs up guys and either keeps them from approaching or making them believe that they need a jolt of courage juice in order engage women. The fear of the simple approach keeps guys confined in so many ways. Masking it with alcohol doesn't mean it isn't still there; deepening its roots over time, festering the psyche... Making the dependency of a mask even more necessary.

Someone posted a thread asking guys whether the rejection that they fear the most have ever happened (or something to that effect). The thing is, what are the chances of the worse happening? Even if it does happen, what are the chances of you not surviving it? Most times our fears is just our uncontrolled imagination going amok; being afraid of something that hasn't happened.

False
Experiences
Appearing
Real
​

But yet we hide from that monster under the bed, that boogie man in the closet. What's the worse that can happen if we confront it? Why don't we trust ourselves that we can handle it? Why are we refusing to be men who are able to stand on our own even when there's someone attempts to hold us down? What's silly is when that person is ourselves...

​

 

[reset]

I don't have answers to your questions. I'm surprised I'm even saying this stuff.

There aren't answers. I've always been afraid and I'm running out of reasons to stay that way, lol. Even talking about drinking in a way is rationalizing that deep down you think you're defective and need a crutch, I know that to not be true anymore. The problem isn't the drink its the misperceived threat that only exists in your brain, not in the outside world.

I can't rely on the monsters under bed thing anymore. And I'm not going to be a keyboard jockey either.

Nothing makes sense to me anymore. In a good way.

:woo:

 

[The Inside Man]

Oh yeah, here's a Camelbak. Think about the buzz you could get by carrying a full one of those on your back!

Hah, one of my friends used to use his camelback at parties, filled with fruit punch and rum. Good times!

 

[snowdog]

I get drunk all the time and it's a lot of fun. **** the naysayers, just get wasted and have fun. Girls love guys who have fun. Don't get drunk to the point you start to act like an idiot though. It's useless to be completely sober at a party or club in my opinion. Alcohol is like oil for my motor. I start to run smoother and am less scared of sh*t.

Read my journal, i made some of the best approaches while being drunk [look for a story about a girl with a tattoo on her wrist on page 2].

 

[DoctorLW]

I agree. Fvck all the naysayers. Getting drunk is fun and I can't understand all the hate for it on this board, especially since it's such a large part of social life these days. Who the hell goes to the bar/club scenes and doesn't drink? I'll tell you I know lots of girls who find men who can't (or choose not to) drink as HUGE turnoffs. A lot more than you would think. I'd like to see some of you so called "purists" game them.

Anyway, alcohol may enhance some peoples games and hurt others. Everyone is different. Whatever. I find that when I drink and do blow that I'm pretty much hook-up with a near 100% success rate. Of course, I don't RELY on it because I just do it for fun... and I only drink 2-3 times a week and do blow maybe a few times a month. I am perfectly adequate sober, it's not a crutch. Get off your high horses and realize just because your game sucks when your drunk doesn't mean you have to be bitter and get angry with those who have more success with it. I mean what other possible reason could explain all the hostility on this board?