This is embarrassing but F^ck it. Thats what we are here for.

[TheMonkeyKing]

You are in the position you want to be in. Men need to be coy about their commitment intentions, just as women are with their physical intentions.

As far as acknowledgment of occasions go, well ask yourself if they deserve anything. Personally, I am planning to accidentally forget about Valentine's day.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My martial arts trainer has a wife 20 years younger than himself. She just had her 39th birthday, and he sent flowers to her work. The funny part is that the flowers had a big balloon attached that said "Happy 40th!" She spent all day telling coworkers that she really wasn't 40, even though the balloon said so.

So he managed to turn sending flowers into a neg hit. It's not what you do; it's how you do it.

 

[BrainDamage92]

1. Save your flower money.

2. Grab her ass.

3. Profit??

Couse you know, flowers are pretty and all, but women like jackasses who know how to get what they want.

 

[salinechow]

The AFC cannon is loaded!

Ok. Here goes nothing. Is sent the flowers. The card reads:

No Streees. ( its a cute thing she does when she doesn’t like something like me taking pictures of her. She says "Streeess" in a cute way. Even calls inanimate objects stress. Like "Look at that stress on the building" referring to graffiti. Yea, Im smitten. I like it. So the card reads:

"No Streeess. Just a way to remind you of how enchantingly beautiful and amazing you are both inside and out."
- MTA

I signed it MTA because we met on the train. We both reference this meeting all the time and from what I have heard from her friends she finds it pretty romantic. ( Yes boys, I have been talking about "Train Girl" this whole time)

Here is what I will say about this whole situation.

I am not looking to win her over with the gesture. Well, not completely. The point is to actually push towards either driving her away or getting to show her a side of me that is less player and more BF. Its to send a shot across her stern. Either we are going to start something more involved or we are going to call this thing off. The expectations I have are as follows:

She will think it is sweet and her friends will tell her there is more too me than her perceptions and she will take more of an interest in letting her guard down with me. 30% chance

She will get claustrophobic by the gesture hate the limelight of the compliment and gesture and give me the LJBF talk. %60 chance

She will accept the gesture and continue the same course as before. Demonstrating interest but being guarded and flakey. 10%

Obviously you all know what the last 2 outcomes will dictate me doing. They will be unacceptable and I will move on. Probably what I should have done already but still, you must believe me when I tell you, I am having fun with this whole thing. Its exciting. I still have my plates a spinnin and still have a course that I am following. Sure it will sting a bit to lose a girl I like the best since the onitis but accepting such loses is so much easier nowadays since I found SS. Look, I am by no means "fixed" yet. You all can see that. Ill tell you this though. I no longer feel "Average" I no longer feel as "Frustrated" as I used too. (There are moments of course) And I am definitely, definitely not a CHUMP whatsoever. So... In the words of Bloodhound Gang

"We don’t need no water, let the mother f^cker burn!"

 

[Ft Steak Texas]

Go to Fort Steak Texas.

 

[salinechow]

Thanks for the bump Ft Steak but I already excecuted the plan. Now, die in a fire.

 

[OnTheRun]

Ok. Here goes nothing. Is sent the flowers. The card reads:

No Streees. ( its a cute thing she does when she doesn’t like something like me taking pictures of her. She says "Streeess" in a cute way. Even calls inanimate objects stress. Like "Look at that stress on the building" referring to graffiti. Yea, Im smitten. I like it. So the card reads:

"No Streeess. Just a way to remind you of how enchantingly beautiful and amazing you are both inside and out."
- MTA

I signed it MTA because we met on the train. We both reference this meeting all the time and from what I have heard from her friends she finds it pretty romantic. ( Yes boys, I have been talking about "Train Girl" this whole time)

Here is what I will say about this whole situation.

I am not looking to win her over with the gesture. Well, not completely. The point is to actually push towards either driving her away or getting to show her a side of me that is less player and more BF. Its to send a shot across her stern. Either we are going to start something more involved or we are going to call this thing off. The expectations I have are as follows:

She will think it is sweet and her friends will tell her there is more too me than her perceptions and she will take more of an interest in letting her guard down with me. 30% chance

She will get claustrophobic by the gesture hate the limelight of the compliment and gesture and give me the LJBF talk. %60 chance

She will accept the gesture and continue the same course as before. Demonstrating interest but being guarded and flakey. 10%

Obviously you all know what the last 2 outcomes will dictate me doing. They will be unacceptable and I will move on. Probably what I should have done already but still, you must believe me when I tell you, I am having fun with this whole thing. Its exciting. I still have my plates a spinnin and still have a course that I am following. Sure it will sting a bit to lose a girl I like the best since the onitis but accepting such loses is so much easier nowadays since I found SS. Look, I am by no means "fixed" yet. You all can see that. Ill tell you this though. I no longer feel "Average" I no longer feel as "Frustrated" as I used too. (There are moments of course) And I am definitely, definitely not a CHUMP whatsoever. So... In the words of Bloodhound Gang

"We don’t need no water, let the mother f^cker burn!"

I'm genuinely rooting for you bro but be prepared that she may not see it as the grand gesture you intend. I suspect you'll be doing a lot of rationalizing in the hope of option 1 when really it's just option 3 with a flutter of her eyelashes. Like I say though I really hope it works out. Keep us posted.

 

[zorg198]

Exactly. the outcome eventually will be yours only not others so who cares what others think? you can accept what other saying for your own sake or disagree.
Either way.. i'm proud of you brother.

Joe.

 

[salinechow]

Didnt see this coming!!!

She just asked me what my plans are for this evening! I dont even think she got the flowers yet!

This ought to be a riot watching how this plays out.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

She just asked me what my plans are for this evening! I dont even think she got the flowers yet!

This ought to be a riot watching how this plays out.

Godspeed! And as always, assume-attraction.net

 

[salinechow]

The update! Mostly good.

So as we know I got the wildcard of her texting me and asking me what my plans where for Valentine’s Day. We went back and forth for a while. She told me she had plans with her out of town friends but were sort of sick of them and with another storm pending here in the northeast was hoping to do something with me. As I was texting her to come over for dinner and wine... THe flowers showed up. Actually she wasn’t even home. She was house sitting for a friend (probably her BF house. HAHA. I don’t think so with this girl but I know you guys are thinking it and I would be really naive to think it wasn’t at least a possibility even if it was remote).

She began texting me pictures of her group text with her family after they got the flowers at her house. It was actually awesome that she let me into that little realm because just as I suspected her whole family was very impressed. Even Dad was chiming in "Is this that guy. Hes a keeper!"

Anyway she loved the gesture and was very appreciative. Not coy. Not shy. Not reserved. Not embarrassed or stressed. She was kind of gushing actually.
She loved the clever signature of MTA since we met on the train. Speaking of when I asked her how I was found out so quick she says this:
"Everyone knows about you Saline. They just didn’t know you as MTA. I new immediately though cause you are the only one who would send me flowers especially like you did"

Again my suspicions were correct. She enjoyed everything about it and her family and friends are all encouragements. Id say it was a win. Mostly...

So then she disappears again. Never actually got to invite her over and didn’t want to push the issue because I did not want to make her choose between me and her friends. Especially out of town friends on there last night in the country. Also, A small part of me didn’t want to demonstrate any neediness for the holiday or make it seem like I was parlaying on the flowers. Tit for tat is no way to pull a woman.

However, when she did resurface later to tell me she decided to go out with the girls I turned the gas way up. Told her about kissing her neck again and booked a date at my house for wine music and massage. Texted her a few pictures from our last date and then pushed her off to go hang out with her friends. Well, then **** got a little weird....

She waited like 15min and then called me. (rare for us actually. Younger chicks are WAY more comfortable texting it seems and she has gotten the hint by now that I don’t text her usually for more than 20 min and then evaporate.) I didn’t have my phone because I thought we were done for the night. I am certainly not going to be texting her while she is hanging out with her friends and certainly not after a win. I wanted her living in the gesture and gushing about me to her buddies while hanging out without my hanging on her texts. So when I got back to my phone I texted her "You called" I figured it might have even been a pocket dial.

I was stunned to see what she wrote next.
"Yes"

"Don’t dismiss me for the evening"

I was like what the f^ck??? So I texted her back are "you OK?"

So then I call her about 20min later. She is Sweet as pie. And we talk for about 30 min. Convo goes really well. Flirty and she is thanking me for the flowers sincerely and all.

So what was the text about dismissing her all about? Seems like she just wanted to see what the "playa" might be doing when she wasn’t around. She was saying that she just wanted to be able to check in with me if she wanted and asked me to text her later. I told her I wouldn’t want to run interference with her spending time with old friends on their last night in town and she got snippy with me and say

" Well that is for me to decide. If I want to be buried in my phone talking with you all night I will. If not then I want to decided that too."

HAHA. Can you believe chicks. She is running game, or at leat trying too. She thinks now that I got sweet, that I am going to start complying with her whims. Cute kind of. Of course I told her I was hanging with a few of my guy friends. Of course that wasn’t true. Of course I will not text her. And. low and behold she didn’t text me either. Psst, went and saw 50 Shades of Gray with the FB. Good flick actually.

So, Conclusion to all of this: The flowers were indeed a good idea. And frankly I enjoyed sending them to a pretty girl who has shown me a good time. It definitely shook things up a bit. In my favor, yes, but not a strong yes. If she comes over for the massage wine and music, it’s a wrap. If she declines without counter. I will pull way, way, back. Shell have to beg for my attention after that. However, I really, strongly, think this girl wants to see me. Just my guts. Actually, I sensed she was a disappointed I didn’t push harder for today.

New percentages.

Secks on next encounter= 60%

Comes down off high of being perused and warmed and realizes its to much and her interest level is actually lower than I think= 15%

LTR= 10%

I play the long game and get friend zoned= 15%

Look, here’s the variables. Not only is she hell bent on moving in Sept to SanDiego but she is actually traveling from March 25th through May 2nd

So the long game might actually be a good play with her. Make her fall for me, make her think I am different and wait to sleep with her for a few more encounters, then get hot and heavy for the few weeks just before she leaves?

Thing is, with her being guarded because of her personification of me and her leaving... I am actually losing some interest myself. I like the girl for sure, but, even with the stronger position I am in now, I dont like the games. Rest assured I am in full escalation mode now, but, I am not going to get taken for a ride and be a texting orbiter when she leaves. NOT happening. Lie-Lyette(true onitis) tried that and I am not going to participate. I did it for 7 days with Lie-lette and went NC. I can certainly do it again.

So there you have boys. Flowers was a good play. Did exactly what I was aiming for. Escalate or drive her away. We are in an escalation phase now and its mine to own or f^ck up. Ill be fine with either.

Thanks, sincerely, to all. Again, I would have rather lost her to action then in action. Thanks for the push.

Ill let ya all know.

 

[OnTheRun]

So as we know I got the wildcard of her texting me and asking me what my plans where for Valentine’s Day. We went back and forth for a while. She told me she had plans with her out of town friends but were sort of sick of them and with another storm pending here in the northeast was hoping to do something with me. As I was texting her to come over for dinner and wine... THe flowers showed up. Actually she wasn’t even home. She was house sitting for a friend (probably her BF house. HAHA. I don’t think so with this girl but I know you guys are thinking it and I would be really naive to think it wasn’t at least a possibility even if it was remote).

She began texting me pictures of her group text with her family after they got the flowers at her house. It was actually awesome that she let me into that little realm because just as I suspected her whole family was very impressed. Even Dad was chiming in "Is this that guy. Hes a keeper!"

Anyway she loved the gesture and was very appreciative. Not coy. Not shy. Not reserved. Not embarrassed or stressed. She was kind of gushing actually.
She loved the clever signature of MTA since we met on the train. Speaking of when I asked her how I was found out so quick she says this:
"Everyone knows about you Saline. They just didn’t know you as MTA. I new immediately though cause you are the only one who would send me flowers especially like you did"

Again my suspicions were correct. She enjoyed everything about it and her family and friends are all encouragements. Id say it was a win. Mostly...

So then she disappears again. Never actually got to invite her over and didn’t want to push the issue because I did not want to make her choose between me and her friends. Especially out of town friends on there last night in the country. Also, A small part of me didn’t want to demonstrate any neediness for the holiday or make it seem like I was parlaying on the flowers. Tit for tat is no way to pull a woman.

However, when she did resurface later to tell me she decided to go out with the girls I turned the gas way up. Told her about kissing her neck again and booked a date at my house for wine music and massage. Texted her a few pictures from our last date and then pushed her off to go hang out with her friends. Well, then **** got a little weird....

She waited like 15min and then called me. (rare for us actually. Younger chicks are WAY more comfortable texting it seems and she has gotten the hint by now that I don’t text her usually for more than 20 min and then evaporate.) I didn’t have my phone because I thought we were done for the night. I am certainly not going to be texting her while she is hanging out with her friends and certainly not after a win. I wanted her living in the gesture and gushing about me to her buddies while hanging out without my hanging on her texts. So when I got back to my phone I texted her "You called" I figured it might have even been a pocket dial.

I was stunned to see what she wrote next.
"Yes"

"Don’t dismiss me for the evening"

I was like what the f^ck??? So I texted her back are "you OK?"

So then I call her about 20min later. She is Sweet as pie. And we talk for about 30 min. Convo goes really well. Flirty and she is thanking me for the flowers sincerely and all.

So what was the text about dismissing her all about? Seems like she just wanted to see what the "playa" might be doing when she wasn’t around. She was saying that she just wanted to be able to check in with me if she wanted and asked me to text her later. I told her I wouldn’t want to run interference with her spending time with old friends on their last night in town and she got snippy with me and say

" Well that is for me to decide. If I want to be buried in my phone talking with you all night I will. If not then I want to decided that too."

HAHA. Can you believe chicks. She is running game, or at leat trying too. She thinks now that I got sweet, that I am going to start complying with her whims. Cute kind of. Of course I told her I was hanging with a few of my guy friends. Of course that wasn’t true. Of course I will not text her. And. low and behold she didn’t text me either. Psst, went and saw 50 Shades of Gray with the FB. Good flick actually.

So, Conclusion to all of this: The flowers were indeed a good idea. And frankly I enjoyed sending them to a pretty girl who has shown me a good time. It definitely shook things up a bit. In my favor, yes, but not a strong yes. If she comes over for the massage wine and music, it’s a wrap. If she declines without counter. I will pull way, way, back. Shell have to beg for my attention after that. However, I really, strongly, think this girl wants to see me. Just my guts. Actually, I sensed she was a disappointed I didn’t push harder for today.

New percentages.

Secks on next encounter= 60%

Comes down off high of being perused and warmed and realizes its to much and her interest level is actually lower than I think= 15%

LTR= 10%

I play the long game and get friend zoned= 15%

Look, here’s the variables. Not only is she hell bent on moving in Sept to SanDiego but she is actually traveling from March 25th through May 2nd

So the long game might actually be a good play with her. Make her fall for me, make her think I am different and wait to sleep with her for a few more encounters, then get hot and heavy for the few weeks just before she leaves?

Thing is, with her being guarded because of her personification of me and her leaving... I am actually losing some interest myself. I like the girl for sure, but, even with the stronger position I am in now, I dont like the games. Rest assured I am in full escalation mode now, but, I am not going to get taken for a ride and be a texting orbiter when she leaves. NOT happening. Lie-Lyette(true onitis) tried that and I am not going to participate. I did it for 7 days with Lie-lette and went NC. I can certainly do it again.

So there you have boys. Flowers was a good play. Did exactly what I was aiming for. Escalate or drive her away. We are in an escalation phase now and its mine to own or f^ck up. Ill be fine with either.

Thanks, sincerely, to all. Again, I would have rather lost her to action then in action. Thanks for the push.

Ill let ya all know.

So she says she wants to hang out with you but then your lovely flowers turn up and she disappears off with her friends? Flake.

She then resurfaces and plays games.

Seems like things are exactly the same. You are probably making her work harder to keep things as they are though, so that might indeed drive her away.

 

[No.Danny]

Stop playing the game

 

[:-)]

I got a headache just reading OP's update. You are way overthinking something which inaction might have yielded with less effort.

 

[noheart]

What the hell is a plate *******? **** guys ****ing the whole town and stupid girls buying their **** and leaving the rest of us with nothing.

 

[salinechow]

So she says she wants to hang out with you but then your lovely flowers turn up and she disappears off with her friends? Flake.

She then resurfaces and plays games.

Seems like things are exactly the same. You are probably making her work harder to keep things as they are though, so that might indeed drive her away.

Actually, I think you analysis is mostly correct. I would have concluded the same if I was reading what I wrote as you. However, because not every detail is shared none can really see the situation but me. Also, I am starting to see a pattern around here as it pertains to me. Because I post wordy and detailed, everyone thinks I am overthinking everything. Somewhat true, but, not as entirely as it may seem.

Stop playing the game

This was a great thread.

I got a headache just reading OP's update. You are way overthinking something which inaction might have yielded with less effort.

Plus you can't make anyone fall in love with you. You just learn how to maintain what spark she had.

Man thanks for even reading it and chiming in. No sarcasm I really appreciate it. Maybe your right that the same outcome could be accomplished with less effort. But, like I mentioned above, hearts and minds my friend, hearts and minds. She still ives at home for the time being. She has a HUGE family. I sent the flowers to that house. She texted me the group conversation. It was all good and positive. So, I win the hearts and minds of the city residents and if and when I begin to date her how do you think I will be received? I think it will be in a very positive light. Bad boy with her, good guy to the family. Perfect. Now, about the love comment. This is one area I need no help. You are dead wrong. I can and have made girls fall in love with me. The game leading up to them allowing me in is a different story. So is the retention and how I act after they do fall in love with me. My congruancy needs work, but I have absolutely NO DOUBT I can lead a girl to fall for me.

True thanks though for anyone who took an interest to comment and support my little story.

As usual Id like to say; I post long and detailed not only for myself but because I like to bring truth and flaws as well as any successes so that all can learn and absorb now and in the future. Not only my details but by your comments as well. Plus, I think there is value in the real life "story" of what works and what does not. Ill keep this one updated. Ill be as raw as I can be.

Thanks again

 

[:-)]

Man thanks for even reading it and chiming in. No sarcasm I really appreciate it. Maybe your right that the same outcome could be accomplished with less effort. But, like I mentioned above, hearts and minds my friend, hearts and minds. She still ives at home for the time being. She has a HUGE family. I sent the flowers to that house. She texted me the group conversation. It was all good and positive. So, I win the hearts and minds of the city residents and if and when I begin to date her how do you think I will be received? I think it will be in a very positive light. Bad boy with her, good guy to the family. Perfect. Now, about the love comment. This is one area I need no help. You are dead wrong. I can and have made girls fall in love with me. The game leading up to them allowing me in is a different story. So is the retention and how I act after they do fall in love with me. My congruancy needs work, but I have absolutely NO DOUBT I can lead a girl to fall for me.

What do you mean you win the resident's hearts and minds? With a bunch of flowers? How do you know you've won their hearts and minds? Because of one phone call?

I accede on the 'love' part. Although perhaps desire is a better word. I am fully willing to accede on the above statement too if you can come up with a persuasive argument.

 

[guru1000]

Reward with flowers only to reinforce good behavior IF you already own the frame; never with expectations in return or in hopes to seize the frame. Women are covert thinkers, and will Always extrapolate the underlying dynamics of your intent from within the frame you are operating.

She attempts to usurp the frame with the "Ill decide who I'll text while with my friends" comment. This is an overt grab based on her believing the frame is already hers and the flowers were an obsequious attempt to get within her good graces. While this may or may not be entirely true, the title of the thread,"This is embarrassing but ..." and "oneitis" speaks volumes about your genuine intent. You can't mask your intent with women, and your thinking quickly transmutes into the "new" frame as women will easily sniff you out. Think of how a dog senses your fear; similarly a woman intuitively senses your intent.

The bottom line is you bought flowers with intent, not to reinforce. Back away now.

 

[salinechow]

OP...go ghost on her. No more contact until she initiates contact and you've regained the frame.

Naturally.Go ghost. But..

She contacted me all night long though until 3am. Turns out my phone was dead though. She was just saying "Hi" She was also saying later on she was streesed about something but didnt elborate. I responded today about noon. Just said hello and asked what all that was about.

I can tell you she is probably pissed I didnt respond last night. Probably assumes I was out with someone. Indeed I was. Probably not going to buy the dead phone routine but nothing I can do about it.

Frame? I feel like I have more frame in this thing then I have ever had. Matter of fact I can even start to see this whole thing pretty clearly and how its going to play out.

Hamster is in full spin. Every direction. Who knows where it lands. Player? Nice guy? BF? FWB? LTR? LDR? But, by the time it starts to slow, she'll be over my house. :crazy: :yes:

 

[:-)]

Hamster is in full spin. Every direction. Who knows where it lands. Player? Nice guy? BF? FWB? LTR? LDR? But, by the time it starts to slow, she'll be over my house. :crazy: :yes:

You sound like this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_4tSidyFtA