This is embarrassing but F^ck it. Thats what we are here for.

[way2smart]

You are being outgamed. Never call her out on it. I would just ignore it. If you call her out she will know that her game works which will only encourage her to game you even more.

I would just ignore that text and don't reply to it. Wait 4-5 days and ask her out, then bring her to your place and try to bang her. If she flakes just delete her number and move on

 

[No.Danny]

You Already lost. She's playing games and you're trying to reciprocate. You're in girl territory now. Game over

 

[stevo]

Do me a favor.

Delete her number from your phone.

Delete your text trend.

Hopefully you don't have her on any social media.

Avoid common places you see her.

She wants to play games, she verbally don't want you to play games but she emotionally crave you play games.

There is little to no long term possibility with her, just another conquered punani.

Go back to game 101.

Let her come to you. Let her prove her worth to you. Let her be on your back burner.

I told you she'd hit you up, You are an awesome dude to talk to. In the pool of betas, a DJ stands the fcuk out.

The girl wants you only she wants to play you more than she wants to fcuk you.

She'll hit you up again, when she does respond like everything is fine.

She sends blah the blah.

You respond, sounds good, when are you free to meet up?

Set a date and get off the phone. No "connection" building text msgs.

 

[salinechow]

Not this changes anything really but she just texted me again.

Its a photo of her and her girlfriend out to Sushi. Its more directly a photo of the drinks they are drinking. Her drink is a Dirty Water Martini. My drink. She had invited me to a Martini night the last time we were out together.

My thoughts:
She is attention seeking and looking for validation that her bad behavior will be overlooked by her gesture of drinking my drink in solidarity.

She is thinking...Ok he didnt respond. Ill show him I am thinking of him.
Actually, I expect she will text me again before the night is over. She loves talking with me when she gets lubed up on a few drinks. Then I expect she'll get annoyed that I am not responding and ghost for a few days or more.

My course: Unless she apologizes or claws for my attention in a way that sounds sincere and demonstrates vulnerabilty its pretty my curtians for this girl. I am done playing her games.

Texts or phone calls I am willing to accept.

" Listen, I am so sorry I have been flaky with you. I miss you and I really would like to see you. Can we please meet up"

No more "Hey are you avail." or "Hey want to go on another adventure" or "Hey whats your shcdule like"

If she almost begs. Ill respond.

 

[guru1000]

Refer to post 57; last line.

 

[stevo]

Not this changes anything really but she just texted me again.

Its a photo of her and her girlfriend out to Sushi. Its more directly a photo of the drinks they are drinking. Her drink is a Dirty Water Martini. My drink. She had invited me to a Martini night the last time we were out together.

My thoughts:
She is attention seeking and looking for validation that her bad behavior will be overlooked by her gesture of drinking my drink in solidarity.

She is thinking...Ok he didnt respond. Ill show him I am thinking of him.
Actually, I expect she will text me again before the night is over. She loves talking with me when she gets lubed up on a few drinks. Then I expect she'll get annoyed that I am not responding and ghost for a few days or more.

My course: Unless she apologizes or claws for my attention in a way that sounds sincere and demonstrates vulnerabilty its pretty my curtians for this girl. I am done playing her games.

Texts or phone calls I am willing to accept.

" Listen, I am so sorry I have been flaky with you. I miss you and I really would like to see you. Can we please meet up"

No more "Hey are you avail." or "Hey want to go on another adventure" or "Hey whats your shcdule like"

If she almost begs. Ill respond.

Haha, that won't happen.

You are expecting too much. Your expectation would have been called for if its a LTR chic but a plate? forget about it.

Here is another case you've taken the DJ rule literal.

If she continuously hit you up, you respond.

Your mindset when you do respond is request/set a confirm date and end convo.

The NC/going ghost referenced in prior posts is more so "don't hit her up first" if you still want that pussie.

"Don't her up at all" if you're 100% definitely not interested any more. (You've confirmed your emotions that this is true).

 

[Skyline]

I am actually kinda pissed off. Which I think is a good thing. I have been pretty crazy over this thing the last couple of weeks and I am just weary at this point. I am even weary of the ups and highs.

Stop caring. We win and we loose. You got obsessed with this girl and it ended up resulting in you loosing. What made her so great by the way? I'm also curious on what she looks like.

Want to know what I am sick of the most though…

Asking other people what I should do, or think, about this and other situations in my life. I am sick of myself and my self-seeking validations and co-dependent behavior.[/B] In my “real” life, I am a very wise and perceptive individual. People are constantly seeking my advice and usually find it so profound and accurate that they eat it up. Why do I lack the frame to advise myself? Because of a pretty girl? Because I yearn to still really replace my original oneitis? Is that what this is all about? I think it all is.

You know who I am in real life? I'm the guy whom almost all of my friends think I'm still terrible with women and still a virgin. I'm the guy who people almost never ask for advice simply because they think I don't know anything about life or women. I'm the guy that my friends poke fun at because of their own downfalls. But you know who my friends are? They're people who are pretty much controlled by women and their emotions simply because they don't know what they want to do in life nor how to properly maintain their own mental state.

My friends basically think I'm "fake" when I'm actually "Real." It's like they don't know the real thing.

I have no idea how that works but that's how it is. This is how I think you are right now. You have all of this knowledge but none of it is applied so people believe you when you give them advice because they themselves don't know either. When people are asking for advice, but not the advice they don't want to hear, they kind of block out certain advice that's being given based off of how they view you as a person. That's a lot of psychology to take in but that's what I think.

And now I am banking on some flaky chick to solve these issues for me? Just because I think she is the best out of the lot of the 25 or so woman I have dated in the past six months? She is the best I can do? She is going to solve years of insecurities and co-dependent behavior? Are you guys? I ask all these questions without answer because as you read them you know the answer. I have my own work to do.

What's so great about this girl again?

I can relate to this to be honest. My dad passed away when I was 5 and my mom had to raise me and my siblings, I will say that it was a lot different with her raising me alone. I would say it was emotionally distant compared to the norm especially with the absence of a father figure.

You know what girls I'm pretty much attracted to on a regular basis? Guess. The one's with daddy issues and somewhat mommy issues. I typically, without even knowing it, am attracted to women who have had divorced parents or at least have had an absent father figure. Knowing that I'm NATURALLY attracted to women who are typically low quality sucks. But it is nice to know that I'm at least not attracted to abused or BPD type women, unlike some of my friends who are drop dead obsessed.

I like this girl no doubt. I like her because when we are together it works well. But I am starting to see the forest for the trees here. It works well because I am a great guy to be around. Fun and interactive, sweet but tough. Inventive and funny also. She has some great points too but….

That's a load of crap. The reason why I THINK that you like this girl is because you can personally relate to her. I don't really know your background but I'll give an example with mine.

I'm pretty collected and quiet but when the situation comes I can be outgoing. The girls that I'm attracted/attract are either shy or very talkative, there's literally no mix. But there is one thing that me and they always have in common and that's that crappy distant upbringing. We just "connect."

It works well because you guys have probably lived a similar type of life.

Even all of my current friends, 95% of them grew up in a distant household. But the MAIN difference between me and them is the decision making, patience, and self improvement.

Stand her up, off the pedestal ,and away from the mediocrity of the girls I have been out with….What is she really? Shes just some chick. That’s it.

It's so hard going against what is natural to you believe me. What we believe is "quality" is only quality because we can personally relate to it. But in reality, does that make us quality? In fact, what is quality? Couldn't we simply control what we call "quality" in a woman by maintaining a strong frame and confident-positive mindset? This is of course excluding BPD women.

If I were to get in a relationship with a girl that has a broken history like me, do you think all of this knowledge would make me "perfect" for her simply because I just "know?" Or would I just fall over myself because of the lack of frame I have and the power that I THINK I have?

You either win or you loose. There is no "winning more" or "loosing less."

Look, you must believe me when I tell you. I enjoyed sending the flowers and the dinners and dates for myself. It was exciting and fun. I don’t do anything like that for any other girls and it was nice to have one I wanted to do it for. I had an amazing time with her each time. Truly unique from first meeting till our last interaction. But, how much of it was actually her? Maybe I was bringing out the best in her and we were just plain lucky cosmically on our dates. I am starting to see… I am chasing the the luck and the dates and the romance, maybe more than the girl herself. Somewhere, deep in me, I know, this is going to be a letdown eventually.

Relationships are all about POWER. If I were to tell that to my friends that would think I was either joking or crazy. Power can be good or bad, the power that WE want is the power in ourselves. Confidence, style, frame, maybe charisma, hobbies, and status are all things we can control. What we CAN'T control is the other person, her. We control her by not letting her control us, we lead she follows. It's fine that you feel so connected with a chick so long as you LEAD and focus on YOU. That statement is PACKED with things that you should and should not do but if it was natural then you wouldn't even have to think about it.

You know it's going to be a let down because you are not actually living the new YOU. You have not convinced yourself! You get a girl that you share somewhat of a connection with and then you just lose it. Why? Because you don't know your own value anymore. Well I'm telling you right now, that this is your CURRENT value.

You can either embrace it, try and increase it, or simply do what you're doing know- driving yourself crazy.

 

[Skyline]

Wanna know something I didn’t admit before to you guys or myself? I think one of the reasons, (although not the main one by a long shot) I didn’t F^ck this girl when I had the chance is, I am just not that attracted to her body. Shes very, very pretty. (pics upon request)
But shes not my “type” persay. She taller and “bigger” than I like em. I like small petite and fit women. I just do. She is sexy and firm in her own way, and I was actually impressed how drawn to her I was given that this whole time she was not a girl I would normally find my type. This added to her allure. Yet, things are what they are. My penis and my hands do not pedestal as easily as my heart it seems.

Like I said earlier... You just KNOW when you have a connection with a girl just by barely talking to her. You just know that you two share a similar back story that just drives you nuts. She can not even be your type physically but it won't even matter because there is no one else like her right? You need more control over that nature side of you.

Its not pessimism, its guts. Guts and gut feeling start to emerge again when you work out the emotions and brain chemical doping, of a new “great” girl in your life at the gym. Sweat carries these impurities away from your soul and onto the floor where they belong.

I maintain that BTL was right saying that I needed another oneitis let down.

Look, I did it before I can do it again. I need some cold water splashed on my face. That “cold water” was sweat. Pain is weakness leaving the body. When exercise becomes complacent, because it’s the only real relationship there is, its time to put in more effort.

You sort of sound like some of my friends... They have issues with women that I don't even care about anymore. They have issues with life in general that I'm not even worried about either. They're just lost. But I'm telling you right now buddy, you're here now and you won't be lost for long.

There's countless women with your back story but it's really just a matter of who is better than the other. For me, it would be who is more mentally stable than the others since I know I will overtly attract the ones with the same upbringing, thus similar personalities, as me. I mean I'm not really complaining those types of women are great in bed and typically look great.

Heres the “real” boys.

Even before I read all of the articles Espi suggested ( some I have actually read before). I knew in some suppressed place that I am still not a “man’ about things. I was doing the work so to speak, but I was still doing it for validation from women, and my parents. I really am not programmed yet, to do things for myself or my own enjoyment or validation. A tough pill to swallow and very tough thing to admit publicly. Yet, as is becoming my mantra around here, comradery through authenticity. I cannot posture myself to help others without admitting and submitting my own flaws. I cannot expect real love and advice without being real.

For a while I've been getting thoughts about relationships. And EVERY time those thoughts lead to my poor upbringing. I'm starting to realize that my quality is peaking at basically the female variant of my experience, which is technically "low quality." It just, and they, feel so natural to me. I can't veer too far off of this self improvement thing or I'll become someone else and it just won't feel natural. So what am I doing about it now? Embracing it. They sure as hell can't control me so it's really all about finding a girl who is better than what I deem the worst regardless of it being in a bad pile anyways.

You can kind of see my indifference in that last statement by the way.

While I was hitting the heavy bag today I thought of SS. I have said this before, but Ill say it again. What woman comes and offers support, and tough love, and uplifting guidance with nothing to gain like you guys do? I have found that stuff here. I am flattered, humbled, encouraged and loved by your interest and support. I am motivated by it too.

Men want to relate to things more than women want to "re-live" things.

Like any student does, when I read the text I think I am an expert and argue, but the lessons are learned in the real world aren’t they? Expertise comes from risk and failure. It gives me solace to fail in front of you all and humble myself for the future of SS. Many complain it is not what it once was, but I only see what it is, and, what it will be, for the next Saline who wanders into its loving grip.

There's a lot of viewpoints here and some will fit your situation and some just won't. I have pretty much gotten rid of the ones that do not fit me at this point. It's become very easy for me to "scan" through posts and threads.

I am not fixed. I am not even close. Its up to me to carpe diem and I cant even tell you that I will. But Ill tell you what, at least I can never say I wasn’t given the tools to build the frame I need.

We'll always have our issues but it's just a matter of you being able to live with them and at least attempt to improve on them. That's what makes a DJ stand out from the rest.

One thing I don’t think we talk about here enough is patience. We mask patience inside of some game playing. The brain high of a girl we think we like, makes us want to smash the button for more and more of the drug.
Why?

I am going to start working on more self-discipline and self-control. For those of you who need to also I challenge your to come with me. It is the “Lent” season after all. Give something up, and add something positive, that you will do every day till Easter. See what happens?

Patience is just knowing what you are capable of in my opinion. Not getting ahead of yourself and just generally not caring as much as the next guy. Remember the "it's from a bad pile anyways" statement? Well that's basically what my indifference is currently being formed from. I know the type of women that I attract and that I find attractive and I know they aren't exactly what this forum or others deem "Quality," but should that mean that I shouldn't be okay with what I can currently get? Of course not. Does that mean I should stop improving because I know what I can get? Hell no. Never stop improving but at the same time you should ACCEPT what you currently get until you get better.

There's a winner and a loser. Then there are the people who either don't play at all or get confused when they do because they don't know their own value. I call this SLOPPY. My game/confidence was actually like this a few months ago until I realized how much slop I was getting at. I did not know my own value thus the type of women I attract. It's okay to be a loser and it is certainly okay to be a winner.

Here is my plan for Train Girl:

She must reach out to me twice in order for me to respond. She over played her hand. She took the advice of her friend but with the wrong dude. She is a victim of her own skewed perception of me and I am no longer willing to try and change that. Let it be her loss. She wagered now she will see on the river card whether or not she has to pay to play. I have done my dudiligance and then some. Todays flake was my final straw. Let her prove herself to me for taking the risks I have and taking the risk of losing her anyway when and if she moves. I am willing to walk.

Remember the "it's from a bad pile anyways" statement? Who cares. She's from a bad pile anyways, meaning there is MORE that have a similar back story like her in that SAME pile and could possibly be slightly better.

P.S For anyone, that ever reads this, now and into the future. You MUST exercise! Find the time. Make it a priority over all else! The best life has to offer is within you already and can be unlocked through exercise. Peel back the layers of comfort and fat ( if you have it) and sweat! Your body and mind will balance itself and you will discover yourself and your own truths.

We all have our own ways of self enlightenment. I'm just thankful that my way has nothing to do with drugs or anything of that sort.

 

[salinechow]

I have been reading the site like crazy. Even started a new prospect today. Yet, I am still unsure what to do here. Last we left off she texted me twice on Fri night. Some threads say go get what you want. Be a man/alpha and just call her and tell her you want to see her and get her out and back to the house. I am 75% chance. Or, do I stay Ghost till she reaches out a third time and persues? Or just next. Which, I dont want to do. I kinda want to stay in the game a see if there is anyway to get the frame again. Even if its just to learn. A few days to get pissed and cool off and I think I can play again. Any advice?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I have been reading the site like crazy. Even started a new prospect today. Yet, I am still unsure what to do here. Last we left off she texted me twice on Fri night. Some threads say go get what you want. Be a man/alpha and just call her and tell her you want to see her and get her out and back to the house. I am 75% chance. Or, do I stay Ghost till she reaches out a third time and persues? Or just next. Which, I dont want to do. I kinda want to stay in the game a see if there is anyway to get the frame again. Even if its just to learn. A few days to get pissed and cool off and I think I can play again. Any advice?

Your situation is like a patient on life support following a fiery, disastrous car crash - either allow them to die, or hope that they cling on for dear life and make a miraculous comeback, only it we never be that person from here on out, but a vegetable (read: one frustratingly passionless relationship).

Dude, you're repeatedly blasting a dead horse with a semi-automatic. You don't even have to tell me what she wrote to you on Friday and I can tell you with absolute confidence that she was simply watering her favorite attention-plant to make sure it continues to give her the only thing she expects to reap from it - ATTENTION. Trying to get the upperhand now, regain frame, however you want to phrase it, at this point with this specific girl, is AFC to the bone. You're better than that.

 

[zorg198]

Brother,

Just move on. she's not deserve you! you much more better that be with someone like her.

Joe.

 

[narcissist]

Proceed to boot her out of your life.

A chick ain't worth the trouble.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Wow. So much intellectualising and pseudo self-enlightenment. It's oneitis. Plain and simple. Just like alcoholics never admit to being alcoholics, so the oneitis sufferer...Obsession thinly veiled as intellectual reasoning as to what the sufferer thinks she's thinking when in reality she's thinking of other, better things. It breaks my heart.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Saline,

Re-read this entire thread from start to finish. There are six pages of material here, which is more than most get. Most of the advice from the get go has been for you to maintain some sort of distance and not to get too involved too soon.

The last couple of weeks I have started to realise how many guys react far too emotionally to so many different situations:

1) Over-analysing (in your case) = too emo
2) Get angry and decry all women as worthless/good for one thing = too emo
3) Why doesn't she text back = too emo, too involved
4) I've been seeing her for 5 minutes/dates, why is this not a relationship already = too emo, too involved
5) The 'rules of the game' say this, but it's not working = too emo, too involved

Here's the thing, you seem to be heavily focussed on women right now. Step back and work on yourself a while. It's not easy and yes, it is lonely to start with. But the only way to make your way with women is if you already have a healthy relationship with YOURSELF.

Go hang out with guys, with men's men. Observe their behaviours and attitudes, and not only towards women. It might seem like horrendous waste of time because you 'should be out approaching women'. That's horsesh!t. Live a happy life and happy women will follow.

Don't forget this woman, don't forget any woman. Forget the idea that a woman is a source of happiness; a woman is a source of happier-ness, but definitely not your initial source of happiness.

TMK says, soft next.

Here's some sage input on soft nexting from our resident Mauser:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208449

 

[BrainDamage92]

Oh come on your drink is dirty water martini?

Come oooon...

 

[PlayerSupremo]

Don't shake the player vibe. Embrace it. It is what attracted her to you. To lose that would be to lose her interest on some level.

Women hate us players but they still flock to us. They want to "land" us so that they can "FEEL" good about themselves. Has nothing really to do with us as it's all about them but oh well it is what it is.

 

[Bingo-Player]

It irritates me that a woman can command so much power over a man without so much as lifting a finger

I hung back from posting in here last week because i knew you were in too deep and wouldn’t listen to advice anyway

I’m still not convinced you’re going to listen but you are risking doing some serious damage to your inner game and psyche

So i will make an intervention now and i will guarantee that when you finally swallow it you will finally be able to see women for what they really are

( all of what i am about to post comes from first hand and second hand experience with situations exactly like yours)

First things first

Always remember YOU MAY HAVE LOST – BUT SHE HASNT WON

because she has lost the potential of having an amazing guys d*ck ploughing through her 7 times a week and any guy she meets after you will be a trade down

*BELIVE IT*

Secondly – as others have asked above me what exactly is so special about this girl ? has she invented a cure for cancer ? does her pu*sy drip pure gold ?

What is it ? come on bro you’ve spent the last fortnight with this chick running circles around your head ......so im dying to know what exactly is so special about her ?

I will take the liberty of assuming that you can’t actually think of anything ......so il tell you what i think is so special about her

NOTHING .....it’s your own obsessed sub-conscious you are enjoying playing games with your own mind this chick is merely a tool to do so ( a common problem for people who first come across any sort of power with the game)

You had her in your bull’s-eye , you had her on your bed naked and you failed to make sure she couldn’t walk the next day ( this confirms my suspicions)

From the offset you have failed to mention what exactly it is you wanted from this woman ......was it just sex ? a relationship ? marriage ? ......do you even know yourself ?

Without a clear “game plan” how can you ever complete it ? .....you just end up in limbo like you currently are


Anyway onto getting her out of your mind

It will take around 4- 6 weeks

During this time you are too

Make absolutely no contact with her ( this goes without saying)........ she will try to make contact with you i guarantee it but you make dam sure you ignore it all

Focus purely on making some extra cash , education or the gym

Post NOTHING on social media

Spend time with only people whom are positive and doing things


You will look back on this chick in a month and wonder wtf were you thinking

Ive just pulled one of my best mates out of one of these and he was considerably deeper down the rabbit hole than you where

Hes just about ok now but its seriously given his confidence / personality a knock for 6 ......do you really wanna go down there ?

Good luck

 

[salinechow]

As I sow and grow

Ok. Sh!ts is about to get real.

I have said this again and again but I am going to put my money were my mouth is by being as raw as I can. The value in this community is hindered when one is not authentic. I want not only your support and advice. I want to not only grow with it but I want that to be here for the next person who might identify with it in the future. I want someone to be able to say,” Wow, he was just like me and he went through it, so can I”. Also, if that ends up being the case, it amplifies the time you all took to advise me, and multiplies it into others lives. This I think is a great homage to you all and your sacrifice of time and show of good will in this thread and elsewhere you all showed up for me. Even when I have disagreed with your assessments and advise the time and care to participate in my life was never lost on me.

Lastly, I am indeed humbled that this situation got so many reviews and responses and it encourages me towards the fact that this thread may indeed be of value to others soon and later.

So…In response.

It irritates me that a woman can command so much power over a man without so much as lifting a finger

This actually doesn’t irritate me. Im glad. After being in a stale 7 year relationship and after getting truly heart smashed by the following oneitis( not this girl in this thread but the oneitis that brought me here) I am glad to know there are still girls out there that can get me going. To me its what this whole thing is about. I would rather this situation and the heartbreak of my last oneitis than the boring or so so twits I have dated in-between. I think being able to still risk the heart is true outcome independence.

I understand that because I am still learning things my risking my heart is being done hastily and incorrectly but as many have said, that’s where the real education and practice of all these concepts we talk about here on the forum is learned. I am out there and in the game. Losing is ok. Got pay to play and be in it to win it. If not a win, at least I learned something.

Always remember YOU MAY HAVE LOST – BUT SHE HASNT WON
because she has lost the potential of having an amazing guys d*ck ploughing through her 7 times a week and any guy she meets after you will be a trade down
*BELIVE IT*

I love this. It does sum up how I feel. However, in my opinion she is missing out on a lot more than the hog meat. Actually, I had my chance at that and blew it. Yet, I had a lot of other success with this girl. A lot. I know I will be a yardstick for anyone else she dates. I know I came off “chumpy” to you guys by sharing my insecurities and confusion, but I know this girl thinks highly of me for a lot of other reasons. I lead her around quite a bit and showed her a great time. If I could have stayed a little more congruent for longer, I probably could have locked this one in. Live and learn.

Secondly – as others have asked above me what exactly is so special about this girl ? has she invented a cure for cancer ? does her pu*sy drip pure gold ?
What is it ? come on bro you’ve spent the last fortnight with this chick running circles around your head ......so im dying to know what exactly is so special about her ?
I will take the liberty of assuming that you can’t actually think of anything ......so il tell you what i think is so special about her
NOTHING .....it’s your own obsessed sub-conscious you are enjoying playing games with your own mind this chick is merely a tool to do so ( a common problem for people who first come across any sort of power with the game)
You had her in your bull’s-eye , you had her on your bed naked and you failed to make sure she couldn’t walk the next day ( this confirms my suspicions)
From the offset you have failed to mention what exactly it is you wanted from this woman ......was it just sex ? a relationship ? marriage ? ......do you even know yourself ?

You know, I want to defend her. Maybe its my oneitis talking but part of what makes her so special to me is the fact that I don’t always know why. Some people you just enjoy more than others. I have said all along, although she is pretty, she is also not my typical type. I think that made her even more intriguing and alluring.

Here is the math of why I like her though, the things I do really like about her and makes her the top choice of girls I have dated in the last six months.

Her femininity and her very high pitched and cute voice. Also her pronunciation of words having a mixed accent from Europe, Long Island, and classic English. (When you have to translate to teach others you(she) learned to enunciate English pretty perfectly. Think TV announcer.) Voice is a top 5 criteria for me.

This along with a cutesy, ditsy personality while still being able to be witty and not a complete idiot made her fun to hang out with. Also, made me feel more manly around her and she appreciated being lead. Like I have mentioned before, she would seek and cling to me when nervous on the street or in a crowd. Got to love that.

Even though sometimes nervous and shy she was also fairly spontaneous and adventurous. Fun.


She lives very close to me. This is not essential but it was very nice and convenient.

She comes from a good home and household. Rare, and refreshing. So do I by the way. So Frazer, your assessment was not even close. You were projecting.

She took me out a few times. Always offered her fair share and demanded to contribute and liked that we shared certain expenses. Sometimes I allowed it, other times I didn’t. She always complied.

To that point, she would give resistance to things and had her own thoughts about situations but was also adept at following and being convinced. Was very good at admitting she was, or would have been wrong about things.
Apologized when necessary. (only in person though) Never for her phone or text flakes, until she saw me.

We both thought and verbalized many times what a good team we made and I still believe it to be true. I know she does also. That is attractive and makes things fun. Most girls have a hard time gelling with me like this. Contrary to how I may come off around here I am a born leader and some girls resist just for the sake of feminine pride. She was not like this.

Great kisser. Again, adapting rapidly to “our” style. Not following some sh!t rhythm she learned in middle school like other girls I have been out with. Bad kissers who force their own style without relenting is immediate cause for dismissal. I have 0 interest after 3 tries.

That’s enough but I want to clear something up just because I am not sure it is apparent.

All the other women I have dated and even slept with a few, have made me like this girl maybe more than I should have?

Ready for this, I don’t like to f^ck. I like the ego boost and I like watching a chick get off on me. I also love eating box. But I just don’t like f^cking a girl.

What I mean is that hard disconnected pounding that seems to be the norm nowadays. I didn’t even enjoy it all that much with my original oneitis. Actually she put me off to sex with this current girl I think. So does my FB. I am sick of it. I don’t get off on it. Literally, it can take me an hour or more to get off on a chick when this is how she wants it. Don’t get me completely wrong. I CAN enjoy this type of sex sometimes, but maybe as a second round or when the situation calls for a more primal f^ck. I get those urges too but I need more substance I think ESPECIALLY with a girl I like. I also despise condoms and cant wait to meet a girl I can get serious enough with to throw them away. I was in relationships so for the last decade I didn’t need them.

I think one of the reasons I choked with this current girl is… I think a part of me wanted more substance out of our first sexual encounter but I was nervous because of all my other interactions over the last 6 months that I would have let her down with that kind of more sappy love making.

Segway into, I wanted a relationship and companionship from this girl. I wanted her to be special enough to stop the plate spinning and I wanted relationship sex. I know this goes against the grain around here but I said I was going to let it all hang out and I am.

We talk a lot about screwing a girl to make her more invested. Her body equates our attention and time. I actually believe that this is correct. I think it is factual. I am DEFINITELY still struggling to swallow it though. I thought of this exact concept when my hands were down her pants. And, I just couldn’t do it to her. I was too soft, in more than one way. HAHA. Yep, I was stuck in my own head overthinking DJ concepts,instead of enjoying her ass. I think subconsciously I knew if I f^cked her it might make her more invested but I wanted that investment from her as her choice of heart and mind not obligation and ASD the next day or week.

I do however think in hindsight that this is a mistake in thinking. Because, giving me her body was what I was looking for and a symbol of heart and mind. I should not have over thought it FOR HER or on behalf of her. She is an adult and I should have taken what was offered and let her do her own thinking afterwards. Simply and error in judgment and a full blown choke. Live and learn. And I am.

 

[salinechow]

As I sow and grow continued

Without a clear “game plan” how can you ever complete it ? .....you just end up in limbo like you currently are

As we all say sometimes this information on SS can be a blessing and a curse. Especially in the interim period were the red pill is still in the esophagus. My game is actually ok. Pretty good in fact for a noob. Especially HOW AFC I was and sort of still am.

My game suffers tremendously when it counts though, with a girl I really like and start to want to care more deeply for. My game is incongruent because there is still some parts I fake(to help me develop them. I don’t plan on them being fake forever) and I let my guard down and go right back to sweet boy, way, way to fast.

I cant tell you how many times I have been called a “player” in the last few months. I love that sh!t because it was so unlike me for so long. Yet, look what happened when a girl I liked a lot, thought I was a player… I couldn’t drop it fast enough. I spent like $500 bucks to get rid of what I myself had created and, WHAT WAS WORKING!

I have to be able to be comfortable in the DJ persona for longer. I am realizing no girl is a special or worth it as they seem. The power struggle and games are starting to reveal themselves as something girls do and enjoy subconsciously so rationalizing it or trying to win their heart is probably not a reality.

Look, like it or not, in that moment where I was thinking I want her to commit to me with more than just “obligatory” sex, well, I got my answer didn’t I. Turns out, its old, boyish thinking, to think a girl needs to love or commit to you to not feel bad getting the D!ck. In trying to respect her and respect our little romance I think I did the opposite. I disrespected her by thinking for her. I just need to man the fukc up.

I am not going to spend a lot of time on this but it’s worth a quick share. I think some of my issues with sex have a religious guilt stumbling block. I have a lot of Christian values that I am working through as I go through everything else. I am calibrating two very different worlds and am unwilling to completely abandon either one. Nor will I, ever. I don’t not believe they are mutually exclusive. To close this topic, this thread and this website is not the time or place to talk about this. Anyone who wishes to debate, argue, or just generally converse on this matter, should approach it in PM only. I shared it only to further enlighten my friends and fellows here authentically as to my situation.

I am in transition and swimming against the tide and I really need to own the red pill more. I am still hating it some, but the evidence for its power is overwhelming true. I hope this situation has helped me realize.

Again, I know I am being wordy once again, but I want people to see me go through this. I want those that are similar who come after me, or those that are in the same boat now, hear what I have to say.

The truth remains the truth no matter how you perceive it.

It is not easy. Nothing worth while is. It is a struggle but a worthy one.
If you have heart like I do then it is worth protecting and defending. You can learn that here at SS.

I want you all to see me tear the muscle and watch as it gets stronger. I hope I am worth your time and input.

OK.OK. I think because I post the way I do, pretty raw and detailed I have come off a lot weaker and more mixed up over this girl than I truly am at the core. Guys, it was really a once in a lifetime set of circumstances with the two of us. I was excited! What’s wrong with that?

Yeah, I got carried away a little chasing the romance of the whole thing, maybe even more then girl herself, who knows. I lived a little whirlwind romcom thing and it was a blast. I am not going to tell you its easy to just let it all go because of some misstep in text game or gaming in general …but I am not too hung up to see the forest for the trees here. If she was interested as much as me she will swallow her pride and seek me. If she doesn’t, it was a great time and I will let it go. I got the experience and the memories and there were very few negatives. Part of me actually wants it to die here. No chance to add any flys to the soup. Just enjoying it for what it was.

If she does come back.

I told her already, at dinner and right to her face, if she ever flaked on me again, I would never speak to her again. I definitely meant it and she definitely received it. I would not consider our last interaction a flake but more of a game. I still think in a small part she is doing her own version of protecting the heart and its all less malicious then it seems. HOWEVER, if she comes back, I am not going to participate in games or texting with her anymore.

Ill get her on a date and I am going to tell her plainly. "I am interested in you, care for you, and want to spend time with you. You are the only one left playing games with no one sitting at the table. You want to go out, come over, hook up, have some fun, good. When I call, answer or call me back. We will set a time and we will go out. When you want you want to go out, come over, hook up, or have some fun, call me, I will answer or I will call you back, we will set a time and we will go out. Do not call me or commit a time and date that there is even a chance you can’t make it because if you flake Ill never speak to you again. If that means we only see each other once every few months even, fine. We will pick up where we left off. And, if it must be that this little romance is over now because of your traveling or because its not what you are looking for or because you can’t decide or the formula is just not there anymore, so be it. Lets leave it there. It was a good thing and lets not ruin it. And Ill take you home and say goodbye."

I will mean every word of it. And then, then, I will truly be able to next the girl. And I do mean next.

By the way, I already know some of you will see that above paragraph as many different forms of the wrong play. I don’t care. I appreciate your concern. Yet, I have made my decision. I am willing to learn from that one to if I need too.

If she does not come back.

Same thing. Her last texts were pretty disrespectful, not unforgivable but not worth pursuing anything more from it either.

Despite what this looks like on the page I am not in denial nor am I invested enough to need to block her or blot her out of my life and memory. In fact, I still follow and am friends with my former oneitis and didn’t need those measures to get over it. Things are what they are. I am not scared to face them down. In fact I think its cathartic for me at least to NOT delete contact forever with anyone. I just stay disciplined. That’s just me though.

This interaction with this girl got me off balance sure but I am fine. Met with my bartender prospect last night and made progress. Met and hit on a real nice 7.5 (I think she is hotter than that but that’s her real world rating) in the liquor store and this girl initiated with me to see me again. That should be fun.

Number closed and then probably dropped a OKC prospect.

Tossed the psycho Georgian Actress out the window. That one got weird.

Even dropping plates and prospects feels good. I am not clinging in desperation for validation from things I don’t really want and am freshening the stock.

Couple of days ago Train Girl really was all I wanted and I was not in the mood to sarge. It was a short lived tizzy and I have regained control of the tailspin. Happens. Getting better all the time.

Gym has been great and tweaks are healing.

Should finish February strong finically and that will help for sure.

Looked up an old buddy to get together Fri. and hang out with some dude energy for once in a new part of town.

My sincerest and warmest gratitude to all.

If Train Girl resurfaces Ill keep you all posted. I think I can handle her.

 

[Yorkex]

Your game is not that bad. Honestly the best thing to do is not chase or play their games. You are a man and you know what you WANT..Communicate that and leave.

Had a similar situation last year and now she is the one begging me for a date. She is an attention seeking type , like some stated the best thing to do is remove yourself from the equation.
She messages you today , hit her back on Saturday or Sunday with a no agenda response. Remember when girls that are not interested in you behave ? They give short replies intended to end the conversation.

Here is my rule : If you want a girl and she has some interest level ( not attention seeking ) she won't make it too hard for you. People go after what they want naturally if she is making all these games up then she is NOT genuinely interested ..you are just feeding her ego.