This girl just gives me mixed signals

Ladiesssman

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I hate it when girls give me mixed signals.

This girl I know for 2 months now. But I can't figure if she likes me.

It's like "she likes me" then "she likes me not" then "she likes me" "she likes me not"

I try to act like a man by ignoring her and not giving in. And although I acted controlled and confident, inside I'm more crazy for her. This don juan shyt might work, and so I'm testing. Or I may fail because she might not be intersted, and if so I accept.

I don't know if you remember in my previous post, which has already disappeared from this forum. So let me review my story.

I met this girl through friend. We always get together on weekends, and most of the get togethers, she's joins us.

She loves to dance and she also likes to dance with me. This has been with 2 or 3 parties. Then the following parties, she still dances with me, but when slow dances came, she dances one song with my friend. Then another slow song with me.

Just past Friday, we had our New Year count down party at friend's place. All the friends, 15 people or so guys and girls joined in. She dance and she drank. She didn't know what was going on. Most of the time she was dancing with me. Then when slow dance came, I went to the restroom and when I came back, she was slow dancing with my friend. She seemed a little bit drunk and not know what was going on, and can barely stay on her feet. So my friend just support her and bring her to the couch and make her lay there. Then after, she gets up again and tries to get me to dance with her. I tried to have her sit and have her drink water because I want her to feel better. She drank a little, then she gets up and pulled me to the dance floor. She danced as if she's half drunk and can barely balance herself, so I tried to support her body. When she's about to fall, I brought her back to the couch. Then I kinda hold her hand a little bit. Ithought it was good kino. I brought napkin wrapped around ice to put on her forehead to cool her temperature, another kino. So I let her rest.

I had to leave early, when I left, she's still laying on the couch. I kind of touch her face with my right hand, just a soft gentle tap. She didn't react. But it was my signal to let her know that I'm leaving (kino).

The next night is one of our friend's wedding reception party. We dance again. I dance with her and other girls. She dance with me and other guys as well. Then something interesting happened. The slow dance came. Since we were there among friends, she dances in circle arm in arm with two other people, which were her sister and her sister's bf. I didn't feel like dancing so I sat and chatted with a guy friend. Then she came to to me and grabbed my hand signalling me to join the dance circle.

When I go to the dance floor, I wanted to dance just her and me. So I held her hand and with my other hand holding her waist. She wanted the circle. I didn't want to so she backed away. Then she danced to herself. I didn't feel like dancing anymore. My attitude was if I want to dance one on one with her, that's all I'm going to do. If not, I'd rather not dance. So I walked back to my seat and chat with my other friend, leaving her dancing by herself. A moment later, she came to me and hit me a little on my shoulder with a little mean smile. She wanted me to join her again on the dance floor, but I didn't. So she went back to dance, to slow dance with another friend of her, who is female. That was funny, girl slowdancing with girl. I guess she's showing me, she doesn't need me to enjoy herself. Fine with me. A minute after, I left the party with my friend that came with me. My intention was to let her wonder where I went.

The next day, Sunday we went to eat at the restaurant. She came in late, so she get to sit accorss the long table from me. I ignored her totally, while I chat and joked around with another friend (girl) who sits next to me (she's also her friend).

After lunch at the restaurant, all the guy friends, including myself went to play basketball. Half an hour later, she also come to join us. She has to work in one hour, but she still manage to come shoot with us (unusual that she joins us because she should be resting). Here is the interesting part, so pay close attention. While I was shooting a basketball, I totally ignored her. At one point while I took a shot, I heard her sneezing. So I said "Bless You" and I looked at her with eye contact. Interestingly she looked at me, then she stuck half of her tongue out at me as if she a little kid doing at each other when they're hating each other. At the same time her eye was like a snobbish looking display. This was the first time she does this to me at baskeball court. I imagine that she's doing this because I walked out on her at the dance floor, so it's more like a revenge type of thing (in a teasing way of course).

Now here is my question. Does she like me or is she just playing? I'm kind of dumb on this one.


All the donjuan out there, if you can help me with this, I'll owe you one. If you give me all your wisdom and tips, maybe I'll hook you up with one of my friends if you're still single. Cool:).
 

fuzzy

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dude, she kept coming back and asking u to dance after u snobbed her.. im pretty sure she likes u

sounds like a case of 'treat em mean keep em keen'.. and i think it worked.
 

squirrels

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Forest for the trees, man.

You're looking so hard for "signs" that you're missing them all.

Of course, it's always possible she sees you as just a "dancing buddy." But it's also possible she's flirting with you and trying to attract you.

Which IS IT?!?!

Doesn't matter. Assume she likes you and act accordingly.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/kiss.htm
 

O Snap

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it has already been stated previously, but you should just ask her out. You have nothing to lose anyways. If she says no, then you can move on with your life and find other girls:D.

Just past Friday, we had our New Year count down party at friend's place. All the friends, 15 people or so guys and girls joined in. She dance and she drank. She didn't know what was going on. Most of the time she was dancing with me. Then when slow dance came, I went to the restroom and when I came back, she was slow dancing with my friend. She seemed a little bit drunk and not know what was going on, and can barely stay on her feet. So my friend just support her and bring her to the couch and make her lay there. Then after, she gets up again and tries to get me to dance with her. I tried to have her sit and have her drink water because I want her to feel better. She drank a little, then she gets up and pulled me to the dance floor. She danced as if she's half drunk and can barely balance herself, so I tried to support her body. When she's about to fall, I brought her back to the couch. Then I kinda hold her hand a little bit. Ithought it was good kino. I brought napkin wrapped around ice to put on her forehead to cool her temperature, another kino. So I let her rest.
From my experience(not with one girl but many) when a girl has a hard time balancing and controlling herself, she is normally extremely drunk, and any form of kino that you tried... she will probably not remember. One of my friends doesnt drink often, but when she does, she gets like this, and when i talk to her about the night before, she can barely remember.

Personally, from what you commented on, i think that she probably likes you.
 

NewMan

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she is obvisously playing some mixed signals.

Do you want to sit an wonder what the hell is going on - or do you want to know?

A DJ isn't telepathic. No one can tell you for sure what the heck she is thinking.

The only way to know is to ask her.

So ask her.

Ask her out one on one.

The worset thing that can happen is that she laughs at you and tells all your friends who then laughs at you.

But your a DJ so who cares.


***
Then after, she gets up again and tries to get me to dance with her. I tried to have her sit and have her drink water because I want her to feel better. She drank a little, then she gets up and pulled me to the dance floor. She danced as if she's half drunk and can barely balance herself, so I tried to support her body. When she's about to fall, I brought her back to the couch. Then I kinda hold her hand a little bit. Ithought it was good kino. I brought napkin wrapped around ice to put on her forehead to cool her temperature, another kino. So I let her rest.
***

To much, to much.

To much playing around with this girl.

Holding her hand - come on man, you can do better. Getting her a napkin..... be a man.

The most you should have done, is put her on the couch and told one of her GF's that she there and she needs someone to take her home. TOPS.

Your not fvcking her.
 

Ladiesssman

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Squirrel, you're right. It's a mixed signal whether she's drunk or not. O Snap, you're right too.

Here's why I didn't ask her out yet. I'm some what popupular in the crowd of friends. And you know what, if I ask and she doesn't like me, I can't take it like most don juans here could. I must admit I'm kind of scared on this one, more scared than any other girls I've liked in the past. Or maybe because I like her in a different way. Has this feeling ever occured to you master don juans in here??? I mean, I thought I'm brave, but i still can't get pass this one lady.

Come on guys, help me out!!!

Why don't you ask her out for me.
 

Ladiesssman

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Oh! What's interesting about this girl, since the first time we met, she hardly eye contact me. By dj rule, it's not a sign of interests. But again, 2 girls I meet in the past and liked me and ended up falling crazy inlove w/ me, never gave me real eye contact initially as dj bible described. So what is the heck with me? And what's the heck with her? Why all a sudden I just feel timid inside. Goddammit!!!!
 

NewMan

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Sometime you've just got to be a man and step up to the plate. This is one of those times.

it's what sets the men apart from the boys.....

Stop worrying about what people will think.... It's unimportant.
 

Fenderules

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dont forget girls who are CONFIDENT will give eye contact. They might be imtimidated by you and are afraid of eye contact. It happens to me sometimes.
 

Tha Realnezz

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The best cure for that is to push up on her hard. Isolate her and try get your knobb slobbed ...lol.

Mixed signals only come from teases and girls who have are insecure about your interest level.
 

O Snap

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Hey ladiesman

You are popular in this group of people. Just go and ask her. Every one of those people...if they have ever gone out on a date...have been rejected in some way.

"Hey (insert name), if you are not doing anything next weekend, i think we should go out for (whatever)"

She says no, then on to the next girl. You never have to worry about it again, because you know where you stand.

I did not get rid of this problem until the last year(when i finally started to absorb the information on this site). In high school, i was always left wondering whether the girl liked me or not, and i was too much of a wuss to ever ask. Now i am in college, and i wonder why i did not have the cajones to just "man up" and ask. You'll get over it man. I have no worries about that.

Good luck!
 

Ladiesssman

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Thanks OSnap and everyone else. YOu give me the motivation to go for a girls that give me inner intimidation.

I consider myself brave in general because I approach most the girls I like. I don't always get yes for an answer, but I always find out. If yes, I enjoy the success, if not I moved on. This one is a little dam hard, but I'm still doing it. It just take a little time and I'm consulting with youguys senior donjuans in this forum. Thanks for all the helps and tips.

By the way an hour ago I gave her a call. I wanted to ask what she's doing tomorrow after work. Since I'll be having dinner, I would like her to join me. There was voice mail but I didn't leave any message. She called back five minutes ago and left me a message that she's returning my call. I didn't feel like picking up the phone because I was hooked on this donjuan screen. Now, it's kind of late, so I'll go to bed and call her again tomorrow evening.


"Hey Sophia, if you're not doing anything tomorrow evening, I think we should go out for dinner." How does that sound, O Snap? If it works I will make it my favorite line.

How about this line? "I have a suggestion. I think you and I should go out."
 

686

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All you need to do is asked her -
"So what're your plans for this weekend?
"Whatever she says, blah, blah blah."
"We should get together on blah night and go activity here."

Have it already set up so you don't end up being like, um, well, what do you wanna do? Good luck and just do it!
 

O Snap

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Hey man congrats! The first call is always the toughest(i get all nervous thinking about it! but that is the fun part!)

That sounds like a great thing to say. Just remember to say it normally.(dont be jittery and make a lot of um noises :D )

tell us how it goes!
 

Ladiesssman

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Tonight I called her. She picked up the phone. I made it short. I said hi then we talked about what she did today. I asked her if she's working this Saturday, she says yes and she gets off at 4:00 pm.

Me: I'll be having dinner Saturday evening. Would you like to join me?

Her: What time?

Me: Around 5:00 pm (her work 30 min drive from my place, so it's a good timing)

Her: Okay

Me: blah blah blah (brief one)

Her: Who else will you be having dinner with you?

Me: Just me. Why? Do you want me to invite anyone else?

Her: No. I thought you might invited your friends.

Me: Just me and you.

Her: Okay.

Me: I'll give you a call on Saturday then.

Her: Okay.

Me: I'll talk to you some more on Saturday then. Bye.


It was pretty brief. But I felt good that I called her. And even better that she agrees to eat out with me. *Hi Five to you all*

Wish me luck this Saturday.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Originally posted by Ladiesssman



"Hey Sophia, if you're not doing anything tomorrow evening, I think we should go out for dinner." How does that sound, O Snap? If it works I will make it my favorite line.
Congratulations on asking her out, which is a lot more than most on these boards will ever do. You do have two things against you, so let me try to help you prevent a few of things that will most likely happen, if not this weekend, eventually. One, you are already putting too much emphasis, because you like her a lot. With that being said, I recommend you do not go out to dinner. You're are getting off on the wrong foot.

I seriously doubt it will happen, so you might want to consider changing the plans. There is a very good chance she will TEST YOU by cancelling or having something come up. I hope I am wrong, since you seem to be really into this one. You will be better off if you beat her to it. Beat her to the punch at her own game. You will build the tension and anticipation more if you don't take her to dinner. She's been kinda chasing you lately, do not give a way that power. I know, I will get crap from people here.

The "...if you're no doing anything tomorrow" line is weak and giving her a way out to reject you by saying "well, I am busy....etc. etc." Never precede the invitation by giving her a way out or to try to soften the blow if she says no. Let her come up with her own excuses. Do not facilitate things for her.

Originally posted by Ladiesssman

How about this line? "I have a suggestion. I think you and I should go out."
How about "you and I need to get together" and say it convinced as if there no doubt that it needs to happen.


When you call her on saturday, tell her something like "what time are you gonna be ready?" DO NOT say something like "are we still on?", and do not stay on the phone for long, because she will come up with something, out of nowhere, that she needs to do. Or she will imply in so many words that she will not be going out with you. Or worse yet, she will tell you the classic phrase "Ladiessman, can I call you back?" And when you get tired of waiting for a call, you'll get her voice mail.You need to make it short and to the point, and get off the phone. If she says she needs to change plans, wait for a counter offer, if there is none, you say "Ok bye!" and get off the phone.

Do not skip some of these steps. If you do what comes naturally, you will do what myself, and most here have done in the past, and it always has ended in the same outcome, and you will come here and ask "Snap, and DJ's here, what should I do?" and most will tell you to "next her, she's playing games", while the truth is, you didn't know how to handle her moves, the part of the game you need to deal with when dealing with those creatures. Yes, it is a game, you might as well know the rules and the right moves. THEY DON'T PLAY FAIR!
 

GirlCrazy

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"Me: Just me. Why? Do you want me to invite anyone else?"

There are two things wrong with this statement.

1) You don't want other people there
2) It shows you are too willing to accomodate her

You said you have been confident with other chicks, well treat her like one of the others.

I actually liked that line.

To me, it said "Why, do you want to fvck up your chances with me?"

You basically gave her a sh1t test and she passed.
 

O Snap

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Me: Just me. Why? Do you want me to invite anyone else?"
I thought it was pretty good, if you said it kind of jokingly.

When you call her on saturday, tell her something like "what time are you gonna be ready?" DO NOT say something like "are we still on?", and do not stay on the phone for long, because she will come up with something, out of nowhere, that she needs to do. Or she will imply in so many words that she will not be going out with you. Or worse yet, she will tell you the classic phrase "Ladiessman, can I call you back?" And when you get tired of waiting for a call, you'll get her voice mail.You need to make it short and to the point, and get off the phone. If she says she needs to change plans, wait for a counter offer, if there is none, you say "Ok bye!" and get off the phone.
Agreed

Congrats ladies man! way to make the call. The rest is all up to you.

Good luck!
 

NewMan

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Good job. Have fun.

Remember to end the night before she does. This IS important.

Also end it on a high note.

Finally, don't make any other plans with her that night..... leave ti hanging there for a couple of days......
 
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