This girl just gives me mixed signals

[DeathDealer]

She's playing hard to get, obviously she likes you or she wouldn't want to hang around you.

Trust me, even though a girl is drunk if she doesn't find you attractive of likes you overall - she will not really give you the time and day.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Originally posted by NewMan
Good job. Have fun.

Remember to end the night before she does. This IS important.

Also end it on a high note.

Finally, don't make any other plans with her that night..... leave ti hanging there for a couple of days......

Yes, definitely do not linger around when it is time to cut it short, and DO NOT make plans or set up another date during this outing.

 

[Ladiesssman]

Thanks for all the response from all of you. Ganster of love thanks for the true thought and suggestions. Everyone else thanks for the tips and encouragements. But guess what? I'm not going dinner with her tomorrow, Saturday evening? Why? Because I just went out with her tonight. It's happens earlier than I expected, but I have nothing to complain. When the evening ended with her tonight, I told her, "Tomorrow's dinner is canceled." And In in a moment, I'll tell you why I canceled this Saturday dinner with her. Before I tall you, let me just back up my story.

Earlier on today, Friday, she called me. She called me to ask if she could bring her friend tomorrow for the dinner.

Her: Can I bring my friend along?

Me: Sure!! It's up to you.

Her: You're not going to feel uncomfortable?

Me: Nah, it's up to you. If you feel more comfortable, then bring all your friends. The more, the better.

Me: Leme invite all my friends too. And we'll make it big! Just let me know ahead of time how many you're bringing, so I can arrange it.

Silence pause for a moment.

Her: I don't work today. I want to come visit you. Can I come?

Me: Sure.

Her: I'll give you a call before I'm coming.

She hung up.

Later in the day around 4:00 pm, I receive her call.

Me: Hello?

Her: It's raining. I don't know if I'm going to come. Can I still come?

Me: It's up to you.

Her: I'm afraid to bother you.

Me: It's okay.

Her: I'll be there at in 30 minutes then. (hung up)

Around 4:30 pm she arrived. I showed her my room and we chatted about it. Then a new conversation starts.

Me: Would you like some water?

Her: I'm more like hungry. (I gave her a bottle of water anyway)

Me: You didn't eat yet?

Her: No

Me: We'll go out to eat afterwards.

We chatted a bit more while she was at my place. Then her sister call her to go join a party at one of our friends. Our friend's house is about one hour drive. She asked me if I want to go. I said "No."

Me: If you want to go to our friends party, you'd better go now because it's takes awhile to drive to get there.

Her: I don't know if I want to go.

Me: Well, so you want to go dinner with me. (She agreed)


I took her to this Thai restaurant. At the restaurant, I did the ordering. Of course, I was a gentlement, so I did ask to make sure she can eat the food I'm going to order. "Can you eat seafood?" So I ordered seafood. It's common courtesy I thought. I also ordered other dishes. She seemed to enjoy the meal.

We seem to click during our dinner conversation. She asked me one question that I remember. Her question: "If you like a girl, would you like a girl to like you first or you like the girl first?"

I did not know the answer. Then, right at the moment, the waitress interrupted right on time, leaving the question unanswered.

Towards the end, I paid the bill, and headed to my place. The dinner lasted about 2 hours. I don't remember all I said or she said, but I knew she was enjoying it. Me too.

Now we arrive at my place parking lot. She asked, "Can I use the restroom?" So I let her in my place again. After she used the restroom, she stayed to chat with me a little. Ten minutes after, she said "I got to get going." "Let me walk you out," I said.

On the way out, I said "Lets cancel the dinner tomorrow."
She responded, "Are you going to hang out with those guys tomorrow?" She's referring to our group of friends that we normally hang out on weekends. "I don't know," I responded.

But guess what? I cancelled the Saturday dinner because I thought I don't like it if she's inviting her other friends to join us. Also, I just had good dinner with her already, so I don't want another one so soon.

Ten minutes after she left, she called me.

Her: I can't find the freeway.
(She has to take the free way back to her house)

Me: Really? Try to take this road blah blah blah.

Her: Okay, I'll try. If I still get lost, I'll call you again.

she hung up the phone.

Five minutes later, I called her to make sure she finds her way.

Me: Did you find the way home okay?

Her: I'm fine now.

Then, instead of ending the conversation, we ended chatting for another 30 min on the phone while she's driving home. It was all fun.

Now the night ended good. YOu know what? I felt so good that I was much in control and I did take the guts to ask her and I did it well. Thanks to all the don juans again for the tips so far.

So, One dinner is out of the way. Now what do I do next???

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Dude, you are 30 years old and still doubting yourself? Tsk, tsk!

Always ask a girl out for romantic purposes only - and let her know that it is ONLY because of this romantic interest that you have in her that you are asking her out!!!! Give a clear message that you are not asking her out to be her buddy!!! A two month wait is too long!!!! Let women know within the first few days/weeks that you have interest.

Her invited her friend was not a good sign of interest on her part unless she was afraid! You should not alllow anyone to accompany her unless her parents suggest it or it is a cultural thing that girls and boys are not left alone. Have a romantic date only!

Are you a 'Soap opera" TV drama writer?? What's up with the "cliff hanger" ending in your last post.

 

[Ladiesssman]

Puerto Rican Lover, I thought of your view. But also, I thought she could be testing me. So I just want to see what happens.

Hey, she came to visit me. We did had some fun converstion at dinner. I'll just ease it slowly. What else can I do.

 

[O Snap]

She might think that your last dinner was a friendly dinner, and nothing romantic at all. When she asked if she could bring her friend, you could have told her she could, but she wasnt getting any action from you etc. Make sure SHE knows what you want(an actual date, no friendship).

Sounds like the date went well, so try to schedule another one.

Good luck and keep us posted

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Originally posted by Ladiesssman
Thanks for all the response from all of you. Ganster of love thanks for the true thought and suggestions. Everyone else thanks for the tips and encouragements. But guess what? I'm not going dinner with her tomorrow, Saturday evening? Why? Because I just went out with her tonight. It's happens earlier than I expected, but I have nothing to complain. When the evening ended with her tonight, I told her, "Tomorrow's dinner is canceled." And In in a moment, I'll tell you why I canceled this Saturday dinner with her. Before I tall you, let me just back up my story.


So, One dinner is out of the way. Now what do I do next???

"Tomorrow's dinner is cancelled." AWESOME. I am glad you were able to stay in control, for the most part. It seems like you surprised even yourself that it went so smooth, and how much she was enjoying it. That is where you run the risk of ruining it. You need to know when to cut things short. 2 hour dinner, probably a little too long, but its ok. Then her hanging out at your place, well my friend, that was her hint for you to advance things physically. As soon as she realized nothing was gonna happen (you probably didn't even think about putting moves down so soon), she checked out.

Talking on the phone for 30 minutes after she left, totally counterproductive. As O Snap and PL said before, you want to communicate all along, from when you ask her out, to when you are on the date, up until you are hanging out at your place, that you are a sexual being and are interested in her romantically. This needs to be expressed subtly but obviously.

You must create this type of tension, and it must be done soon, otherwise every single time you get together with her and don't advance physically, you will dip yourself deeper into the friend zone. Now when you ask her to get together again, her being unconfortable with you is no longer an issue. If she brings it up, then that is a good sign you are in the friends zone and no longer wants you to put the moves on her.

 

[Ladiesssman]

Guys, finally I must say that aaafter all the asking and following on your advices, I made it through. Now we are together. YOu know how it happened?

One evening I asked her to go out to eat. After we eat, we went to the beach. We stayed there till 12:00 am. I told her that I like her, and that was it. She seemed excited but didn't give me verbal answer how she feels for me. The next two times we went out, she told me she liked me since the first time she met me. I could have lost the opportunity had I not find the courage to ask her out.

I'm half way Bingo!

 

[nw1512]

1. Relax

2. Give the FOCKING mixed messages back to her.

3. Enjoy the fact that you've turnt the table and are now screwing with her head.

 

[alphawolfx]

wow, it's like a mini-love story....

see what happens when you actually GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT?

 

[Disturbed]

A month has passed since the dinner encounter and your still not dating her. According to my interpretation of your stories, I feel that the girl is attracted to you. You can make her yours anytime. Perhaps you may have a fear of commitment or are not really that interested in her.

by the way what do you mean when you say that you are halfway there? isn't she already yours?

 

[Ladiesssman]

I'm half way, meaning she's mine, but I haven't got home run yet. I'm only on second and 3rd base. I am yet to count the score.

Tomorrow, Valentine day, we'll be going out dinner. We'll see what happens.

Hey, thanks for all.

 

[Straydog]

Oh boy!

A succes-story in progress.

This is like reading a bestseller!

I just gotta have the ending...


Cheers

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Ladiesssman
I'm half way, meaning she's mine, but I haven't got home run yet. I'm only on second and 3rd base. I am yet to count the score.

Tomorrow, Valentine day, we'll be going out dinner. We'll see what happens.

Hey, thanks for all.

What you need to do now is not do anything. What I mean by this is just do what feels right. Not what feelS stragicised, what the dj's "said" was right, but what feels right. Don't get this confused with doing what you think is right. Men act like scared children when they don't do what they feel is right but only what they think is right. If there is a day you dont want to see her, in the politess way tell her that. If you want to see her tell her that. ADJUST, ADJUST, ADJUST. Do what is right for the moment you are in, not what another dj did in his experience in his moment. How will you know if you are doing the wrong thing-IF YOU ARE NO LONGER ENJOYING YOURSELF.

 

[Ladiesssman]

What a beautiful Valentine Day. It was someting with a pleasant ending. We ate at this restaurant with unique rain forest setting and animals display, aquariums with exotic fish. Food was fairly good. We were enjoying each other's time. I tried not to be so close her. Little holding hand. Mostly light talk. We sat same side of table instead of face to face. By the time we finish dinner, it was a little over 9:00 pm. We took a picture with her camara next to the exotic equarium. It was picture two of us together, me with my arm around her. Rain Forest Cafe at Downtown Disney is a great place. I would recommend it to any couple.

We left restaurant after a picture was taken.

"What are we going to do next?" she asked.
"Home..... we have to work early tomorrow." I answered. She didn't seem to want to go home.
"How about we'll go my place and watch a good movie." I suggested to her. She agreed. We went to my place.
I knew she wanted to be close to me. I just acted normal. If she holds my hand, I just hold her, just accommodating, without initiating. Then we start the movie off of my laptop. We were watching in my bed, so both of us laying next to each other. She started to kiss me.. little kiss. I just accommodate the little moment. Then I stopped. She was supposed to pay attention to the movie. A few minutes later, she tried to kiss me again. I did the same. And a few minutes later she tried to initiate again, I did the same, just accommodate her initiation, then stop. I didn't want to initiate. I wanted to see what her reaction was. The movie was running for the whole time. Because I didn't seem to be into her, didn't kiss her long, she said "it's not the same anymore." I asked her in a calm comforting way, "what did you say?" I didn't catch her word clearly. She paused in silence, long pause. Then she said again "It's not the same like in the beginning." I take it as she meant to say I'm not as affectionate as I was in the beginning. The moment I get her meaning clearly, I started to kiss her a little. paused and pulled back. Then a little more, and more. And she wants it. Then, my hand started to roaming and caressing different parts of her body. Then, my kiss started to roam too. I felt like I was the explorer. As you imagine, one exploration leads to more exploration. Next thing I knew, her bra came off, her shirt came partially off. Then her undy went off. She was wearing a skirt, so it came off easy. Her skirt slid up, though did not come off. That was it. I knew she wanted more, but she still stopped me.

It was one o'clock in the morning when the movie ended in the middle of our make out. We were ignoring the movie half of the time because we were making out. As soon as the movie ended, I told her she has to go. She didn't seem to want to leave. She told me "Next time we hang out the night where both of us don't have to work the next morning." She got ready for her clothe back on to proper position. I walked her to her car and gave her goodnite hug and kiss. That was it.

 

[t00dumb]

very very nice touch ladiessman. and a very good follow up also i might add

 

[Ladiesssman]

It's awsome to report to you that our intimacy continues all the way. It was great, she also enjoyed it as well. Of course we used protection.

Now I realize that a girl who likes being close to you physically will eventually like to do it with you. She just wants to take a little more time to feel comfortable. But one that you have to wait a little time makes it worth it. It is because she's gave me the best sex I've ever had.

It all happened just 2 nights ago. So it's about one month from the first time we went out or it to happen.

I'm congratulating myself for this brave yet gentle pursuit. Thanks to all for the extra encouragement and tips. You're all awsome!

 

[alphawolfx]

dude, you are SUCH a ladies man...

wait a minute...

lol i'm happy for you dude

 

[Ladiesssman]

But you know what? Now I feel like I'm in love with her than being a don juan. I think of her almost every moment. When she's away, I'm worried she might find other guys. Man! Now I'm turning into what all of you call AFC. What do I do guys? I don't want to let her know I think of her, but I can't help not thinking of her.

She is the 8th woman I've been physical with. She's number one when it comes qualities. Better than others from communication to commonalities. She's also the most enjoyable girl I've been with. I'm I potentially in deep trouble where I'm at? What do I do?

Can you all give me some direction.

 

[becker]

Be careful, I've seen this path traveled before, you're getting too emotionally attached to her. You need to let her get to that stage first. Step away for a bit!