Mystery~
I read your condifence post. When you say:
"Its been written before that you shoudn't think you are the catch, you should know you are the catch. To truely know you are the catch you must know yourself, and accept who you are and never be afraid to be you. You have to be comfortable being you, to explain it any further than this would only complicate things, for it is as simple as that. This is true confidence, and if it is acheived your life will be bliss.
It takes time and drive to get to this point, but the time it takes for you to get to the point where you are truely confident being yourself is the best investment in the world, it will be the best time you ever spent."
You are absolutely correct.
Confidence IS assurance. Confidence and assurance are the same thing.
If you're confident, you are assured.
If you're self confident, you are self assured.
If you're white, you're caucasian.
If you're black, your negro.
If you make a lot of sh*t nobody can figure out how to operate, you're Japanese
This, tho, that you said, itn't accurate. It's a misperception you've gotten from SS:
"I think we all agree that confidence is the biggest turn on for women right??" and
"Acheiveing this will not only get you TON'S of women"
The ONLY women who will respond to your confidence in a sexually compulsive way (as in, they're turned on by your confidence and are compelled to have sex with you) are women who are NOT confident - who have their own confidence issues they need to be whole in themeselves. They attach a perception onto you based on their own AI criteria that THEY NEED to evolve and "better themselves" whether they're ever consciously aware of it or not.
Confident women who want to have sex with you simply *appreciate* your confidence, but their attraction and/or sexual compulsion toward you has absolutely nothing to do with your confidence. You're reflecting back to their AI something entirely different and unconnected to your actual levels of confidence.
Ergo, let's assume you buy this premise that "all women" are turned on by condifence. You encounter a woman who, upon sight alone, her "radar" goes off and she's about to wet her panties to get you into bed. She sends you all the mating signals and you - because you're confident in your own self, return them and allow the dynamic to evolve. You are straightforward, assured, say all the right things, certain your confidence is the key.
You finally hook up and have a weekend of fabulous sex together. Somewhere during the "pillow talk" part, she tells you that she's just amazingly turned onto you, can't get enough of you, you're just perfect.
YOU, however, are both flattered and stumped - you still know, despite your confidence, you got issues. What in God's name is this woman seeing in you? Your confidence? So you go off on a little trip about feeling confident and self assured and how you reached it and she dismisses that with, "that's fine but that's not why she's with you" would you be able to know why she's there telling you (she thinks) you're perfect?
Remember, she did this based off looking at you. It could've been, and very often is, no more and no less than you UNCONSCIOUSLY project natural male dominance that only HER UNCONSCIOUS recognizes as something SHE NEEDS to evolve in her own reality. She sees you and her UNCONSCIOUS starts feeding her alerts, and she only consciously applies labels and descriptions of this she's perceiving FROM her UNCONSCIOUS and attributing them to you...even if she doesn't know she's doing it. What the eyes register as data and feeds directly to the UNCONSCIOUS is so vast we NEVER have any idea how much we let in, or how it ultimately affects us.
Point being, our attraction - especially sexual compulsion for "mating" - has nothing whatsoever to do with superficial qualities in other people. It's ALWAYS about what WE personally need, as directed BY the unconscious TO incorporate and integrate into ourselves. Anytime you're sexually attracted to a woman and look at her and say "I am so drawn to her because she's..."
whatever comes out of your mouth next will be diametrically opposite to qualities you still lack and still need to make yourself whole. THAT is why you're attracted to her at all.
You don't know that it's stuff you need to balance out and because you don't see it for what it is, AL you CAN do is conscious application of those perceptions. You give her those qualities, always assuming it's she who literally has them, and the less self aware we are, we're always in danger of hooking up with other people and feeding off them, instead of doing the work to grow while in that union.
"You make me complete" is a prime example of somebody feeding off other people and not growing or incorporating those "criteria" into themselves naturally.
Once they do that, tho, once they know themselves (and they will in stages), they KNOW it. Their confidence is ingrained and unwavering.
Check it:
Can you ride a bike?
Can you tie your shoes?
Can you drive a car?
Can you change a light bulb?
Of course you can.And you KNOW you can.That is assuance. It's what true confidence feels like.
If you scoff and strut around acting like you're the king of lightbulb changers but somewhere inside you get a little freaked every time you have to change a light bulb, it's not confidence and never was. It was swolen ego.
If you have to drive somewhere and the idea of it brings you anxiety, that's not confidence. It was always swollen ego.
If you fancy yourself a lady killer casanova but there's still always some woman somewhere who halts you in your step, even if you still approach, you don't have confidence. It's all inflated ego.
Confidence is unwavering in any circumstance.
SS instills ego in guys to compensate for yall's lack of power and understanding (i.e. confidence) in dealing with women - again, there is polarity. You're all here to overcome this imbalance, plain and simple. Instead of helping you understand anything, it feeds your egos with "affirmations" to convince your conscious minds you're "alpha males" and you hve to "know it" and you have to "command respect", basically stuff that does nothing but overinflate your egos.
Take Edge, for a prime example.
Convincing your conscious minds you're anything at all - when it comes from the outside in, is ALWAYS EGO dancing. It's you not doing the real work that still needs to be done and that will still get done, because aside from the mating, your unconscious will still lead you directly and deliberately into and out of millions of predicaments in your lifetime to test what you're made of. And everytime you come out the other side of oneof those experiences, you do so with an integrated level layer of confidence, which will continue to happen beyond your control until you "know yourself" - which is exactly this that I'm cluing you into. When you "know youself", you will know this I am showing you...that's what will happen.
You can go into battle strutting around like a peacock with your alpha feathers pricked, knowing "consciously" you're the alpha dawg, but you'll be dropped to your knees over and over until you LEARN from the INSIDE OUT that you aren't...and that you have to do the work. Eventually you know. And when you know, then you have confidence.
And when you have confidence, your d*cks don't get hard at the idea of being the alpha anything. You know you can't command or demand anything. Especially respect.
Still...just because you're confident doesn't mean that's why you're getting laid. Sadly, as I started out saying, the only times you get laid by a female who's there specifically becuse she's drawn to your confidence, you can rest assured she'll have little of it.
So, enjoy that scene...
[This message has been edited by destini (edited 12-08-2002).]
