The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[vato]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Yes, it is. You won't get out of that what you hope for.

No Contact is to help you get over the break-up, not to 'get your ex back'.

Move on.

It is sad that they never get it Amsterdam

@Baibars
Listen to everyone here. It's over, and anything you try to do will further solidify in her head that you are a loser, which shouldnt matter, since it's over.

The worst is that you will prolong your pain. And when you start to see things clearer again, you will punish yourself for acting so stupid.

Read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

 

[soulforge]

Day 1:

Created this post a week ago:

My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

Hi, I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time...

www.sosuave.net

We broke up 30 minutes ago. She called me and said that she doesn’t feel appreciated and I take her for granted. She was crying and said that this isn’t working anymore so she wants to break up. Had 1 hour talk. Told her that I’ll delete her from all social media and won’t contact her. I feel nothing at the moment just feel empty and a bit lost and confused.

Dude when you're girlfriend is flirting with other dudes, and quite blatantly, the break up was inevitable down the road.

Don't let how women rationalise the break up confuse you.

I would say you dodged a bullet.. This is the type of girl who would end up cheating on you with a friend or family member down the line.

Regarding Frame.. This is for the future.

You're girl should always FEAR you. She should always have this deep fear, that if she crosses a serious boundary (flirting with your friend) that she would be Dumped for it.

 

[soulforge]

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

While I agree with most of what you said.. We are not certain that op displayed Beta behaviours. Some biches are just cvnts and will leave for a better option.

Doesn't mean OP was beta... However the fact that ops girlfriend had the damn guts to flirt with his friend, right Infront of op, suggests ops frame was weak..

Any girlfriend I ever had, wouldn't dare try that shyte, they no I would Walk.

 

[vato]

Welcome bro. It will get worse, than it will get better.

Some pro tips:
Anything she is saying is BS.
She already have someone to fill her empty (if you know what I mean)
She lost attraction because of your beta behaviour, that you are now uncapable of seeing.

Best course of action. Stick to NC. It will hurt like hell, but is the best thing.

In the mean time, read this:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

I will stay NC but I know there will be difficult days ahead. Already getting mind****ed about different scenarios. I’m no beta just should’ve set boundaries from the start with my friend and this wouldn’t have occurred. Lesson learned from the hard way.

 

[vato]

Dude when you're girlfriend is flirting with other dudes, and quite blatantly, the break up was inevitable down the road.

Don't let how women rationalise the break up confuse you.

I would say you dodged a bullet.. This is the type of girl who would end up cheating on you with a friend or family member down the line.

Regarding Frame.. This is for the future.

You're girl should always FEAR you. She should always have this deep fear, that if she crosses a serious boundary (flirting with your friend) that she would be Dumped for it.

You’re right, I dodged a bullet and I have to get better with setting the correct frame next time.

 

[soulforge]

You’re right, I dodged a bullet and I have to get better with setting the correct frame next time.

Did she give you a reason for the break up?

 

[vato]

This is my plan.

Feel like **** for the first couple of weeks and allow myself to feel the pain. Cry if I have to, self-pity if I must. Will watch some “letting go” videos from Julien so I can process the break-up instead of using other outlets to escape my thoughts. I’ll also write down the mistakes I made during this relationship and how I can avoid them in the future.

But after those two weeks I’ll stop with all the b*tchass-ness and get back to work: I’ll start with taking boxing seriously again, back to the gym. Start making music again.

Focus on reading, traveling, socializing and getting sh*t done. Build up my Instagram profile to make it easier get ho*s. Tinder will be downloaded again.

Most importantly, I will start cold approaching and doing day game. 3 approaches daily and 10 during the weekends. I’ve missed this so much so it’s back 2 business.

This sh*t won’t be easy, there will be days where I want to break NC, but if I stick to NC and to my plan then know I’ll come out stronger in a couple of months. I’ll keep you guys updated on how things are going. At the moment I feel f*cked!

 

[vato]

Did she give you a reason for the break up?

She said that I take her for granted and that I don’t compliment her. Also that I won’t let her know what our future plans are (aka when we’ll get married). I told her she’s full of sh*t and why she didn’t break up with me a week ago instead of when I confronted her for flirting with my friend

 

[Baibars]

Broke NC yesterday because I left things on a bad term and wanted to tell her a few things so she doesn’t have that last bad impression of me.

The relationship ended because I was a major dckhead towards and then she didn’t want me back when I realized she’s moving on and that she was a good one. Break up happened almost 3 months ago.
So yesterday I called her and told her that I didn’t mean it when I got offensive. She appreciated it and was about to cry.
my longest NC streak was 19 days now.

Not planning to chase. I learned a lot and matured too.
Going to the gym consistently and I see results but my head is still a mess. It’s better than before though.

 

[soulforge]

She said that I take her for granted and that I don’t compliment her. Also that I won’t let her know what our future plans are (aka when we’ll get married). I told her she’s full of sh*t and why she didn’t break up with me a week ago instead of when I confronted her for flirting with my friend

Sounds like, she got exposed as being an untrustworthy hoe, and decided to run.

Girls are brilliant at sabotaging there relationships & recognising because she has been exposed, it's a better option to run.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Broke NC yesterday because I left things on a bad term and wanted to tell her a few things so she doesn’t have that last bad impression of me.

Nothing you say will change her opinion of you, don't give in to your fragile ego, just move on.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

She said that I take her for granted and that I don’t compliment her. Also that I won’t let her know what our future plans are (aka when we’ll get married). I told her she’s full of sh*t and why she didn’t break up with me a week ago instead of when I confronted her for flirting with my friend

This is projection from her side, to acquiesce her own guilt. If she had truly felt 'taken for granted', she should've discussed that with you, not flirt with your friends.
Nothing you can say to her, or she can say to you, can bring true clarity about this breakup.

Stay No Contact, cry on the shoulder of SoSuave, get your **** together, and move on. Find a woman who won't take you for granted.

 

[soulforge]

Had a moment of weakness today at work.

Had some memories of her come flooding back, of some of the few good times we had.

I immediately grabbed a pen and paper & made a list of all the negative qualities about her, all the bad behaviours she displayed & some of the areas where my values do not align with hers.

Pretty much immediately I felt ok again lol

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I immediately grabbed a pen and paper & made a list of all the negative qualities about her, all the bad behaviours she displayed & some of the areas where my values do not align with hers.

Keep the list. Laminate the paper and keep it ready in your pocket for other 'weak' moments.

 

[soulforge]

Keep the list. Laminate the paper and keep it ready in your pocket for other 'weak' moments.

Told my ex yesterday to not call me for anything ever again. Ive supported her for the past three years and she dosent understand why I cant "just" be her friend. The situation with her has really killed alot of my pride. Shes used me and this becomes evident when she starts dating a new guy. I go from surrogate boyfriend to a pain in her ass. So No Contact is for the best. The sad thing is Im pretty sure her current relationship will end within the next few months because she is a high maintenance attention ***** that kills attraction after the new relationship ideals go away. She expects me to be there to pick her back up like I have several times before. She dosent understand how much this ****s with my head, being used to meet her needs while mine are laughed at. She asked me why I cant just be happy for her, happy that Ive been ditched and shes ****ing someone else. Selfish *****.

No Contact, day one.

Sorry to hear that man. Any idea what caused the breakup?

Anyway under this circumstance you should never play the back up guy, incase her new situation doesn't work.

Stay 100% NC fall off the face of the earth.

 

[soulforge]

Keep the list. Laminate the paper and keep it ready in your pocket for other 'weak' moments.

To be fair I'm kinda beyond the point of where I would break NC.. That is very very unlikely to happen.

I do get the odd day where I feel sorry for her & her broken life, her broken upbringing & her issues, including depression.

However trying to fix a broken/damaged girl never ends well for us men.

This is why a written reminder or a list of why I had to cut her loose, helps in those low moments.

What makes things hardest is, she was a sexy little attractive thing. Damn!!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What makes things hardest is, she was a sexy little attractive thing. Damn!!

What makes things hardest is when you are unable to go No Contact because you co-parent children with your ex...

 

[vato]

Had a moment of weakness today at work.

Had some memories of her come flooding back, of some of the few good times we had.

I immediately grabbed a pen and paper & made a list of all the negative qualities about her, all the bad behaviours she displayed & some of the areas where my values do not align with hers.

Pretty much immediately I felt ok again lol

Keep that list in your notes app in your phone. I created a long list and it has helped me.