The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[TBG]

And she breaks again after not replying to say "Ignore me that's also fine".

 

[Murk]

So my ex viewed all my snapchat stories on Friday night, she saw me having fun. So she removes me on there and continues to watch me. I’m tempted to block her but part of me wants her to see me having fun and being the life and soul.

 

[Murk]

RESET!!!!

Chat over text, straight off the bat she's on the attack, wanting to bring up how selfish I am, don't care about anyone or realise the words I say can hurt people.

Honestly this girl is a snowflake, she called me a loud, aggressive bully.

I'm none of that, just way too assertive and alpha for her, she even said "Don't you think I'll find a nice guy to treat me well" - she want's some quite reserved type, that's not me, it never was and never will be. We are just so incompatible.

By the sounds of it she hasn't found anyone or gotten laid yet, so I'm winning because I've had the most debauched 2 weeks in a long while and have a girl I'm seeing already. So in that sense I feel some sense of relief. I was way too good for this girl.

I'm resetting back to day 1, but I won't be recording anything any more, I'm so done. The relationship was a joke and she is already being replaced. Part of me wishes I told her that as a final blow, but I have more integrity than that.

 

[TBG]

And she's text again, "Well even if you are ignoring me and don't ever want to be my friend (which Is fine) I shall be wondering about town tomorrow so should you be at a loss for anything to do, which I'm sure you won't be, feel free to partake"

Still ignoring

 

[Murk]

Fvck her. She can’t have her cake and eat it too. You keep up that NC brother and she will reach out when old boy inevitably pumps and dumps. Hopefully by then bumble and tinder have paid some dividends

 

[TBG]

Yeah man that's my mindset.

One of the last messages she sent to me before dumping me was about how it wouldn't be fair on me, her or him if we still hung out as she needed to be able to tell him me and her are 100% "just friends".

I think he already has humped and dumped her after coming back. He's just got back after two months of being away. It's her birthday weekend, yet she's texting me on a Saturday night and wants to see me tomorrow.

 

[Murk]

Yep either that or he hasn’t treated her as good as she thought, I mean why would he she waited for him to come back and spread her legs instantaneously.

No challenge = no respect

 

[QuadDeuces]

Don't send any Valentine's wishes to your exes boys, keep them wondering.

 

[TBG]

This one is relentless.

After not hearing from her for a couple days she text "You either want to hang out or you don't. And I understand if you don't. People have dropped me left right and centre since my "relationship status" changed. Certainly shown who had an agenda ha"

This time I did reply and basically told her I'm not interested in friends, I'm not a place holder (again) whilst he's around and why should I continue to invest into something which I get nothing out off to which she replied "Well that makes me feel like you're saying "why should I hang out with you when I could spend the time looking for a girlfriend". I'm not asking for investment or to see you all the time. I don't understand why you don't want to salvage a friendship from this. I hoped we could still hang out occasionally seeing we've know each other for a while and get on really way. I still understand why it doesn't mesh with me having a boyfriend but people adapt don't they. Also i wasn't getting in contact because I needed attention or because things were going bad between me and him, said relationship is going well. Other people might but I'm not like most people"

Didn't bother replying. She just doesn't seem to get that she can't have the best of both worlds. She made her decision now she has to live with it.

 

[Murk]

Haha she actually had to tell you things were going great with the bf, yeah so great she’s seeking attention from a guy she used to bang. Women make me sick sometimes.

I would never message her again, it’s done.

 

[TBG]

Yeah I've got no intention going back there. Only reason I broke was because I was sick of her playing victim with the whole why you ignoring me guilt trip. Right or wrong I felt she needed put in her place.

 

[Spaz]

For most of you here going through breakups;

Know this, what u r going through is normal, it's part of growing up into a better and more productive man.

You can't escape it.

Thank the woman who has been in your life, there were moments when it was good, savor it as it brought joy into your life. Now you know what love is and what joy it can bring. You also learnt what is betrayal and all that it entails. You have learnt much. You have lost nothing but now gained insight. Remember that when you feel down.

Say goodbye to her now. She has done her job. It's over. They may be other women in the future that does the same again but it's okay. You will be stronger and wiser each and every time.

Do not fear rejection as it is your teacher.

Now plan on how to be a great man. A man that's greater then he was in the past. A man with a purpose and a plan.

Be that man.

 

[Paradiddle]

Hey Guys, one quick question, don't you think that even the girls go through same kind of sites such as so suave and apply the same rule just to get us back? What if they have been waiting for us to call back? I knew my ex went through this **** called Cosmopolitan and stuff which teaches women to pet their men.

 

[RedScorpion]

No contact is not to get her back. It's for you to be able to move on and heal, for a better woman in the future. It just so happens that same action of no contact also maximizes your chances of reconciliation - if you choose to.

There are many hundreds of stories on here. Many guys, including those who are great with women, have given in and contacted them. Some even after some 'hope' from the girl, her saying she misses him and all - then he says he misses her too, pushes for things to work. Then she never follows up.

It's a story on repeat, and one that's easy to fall into. You try to 'put yourself in their shoes'. Well, turns out you're more likely putting your feelings as if she's feeling the same.

Things fell apart for a reason, and it's not easy to undo that constant rationalization in trying to 'fix' things to the way when it was good. The only real chance in general is somehow causing her to miss you or the times you had - and that can only be done with time and space.

If you're ever in doubt, read this thread through on everyone's stories. Or if you need absolute proof - go ahead and contact her (would recommend reading much so first). Maybe you'll be that lucky shot. That way, you'll know for sure, and you'll know for the future.

 

[European-DJ]

You try to 'put yourself in their shoes'. Well, turns out you're more likely putting your feelings as if she's feeling the same.

This sentence is golden and summarises the problems of 2/3 guys in thread; most guys in here are having trouble moving on due to the irrational assumption of her experiencing the same feelings as you. She's not. That is why you guys are not together anymore and why she hasn't been chasing you. I am a victim of this sort of irrational thinking myself - and even though it sucks, we have to leave the woman who tore our heart apart behind, in order to make space for the next woman.

Trust me guys. Going back and being granted another chance with a girl does NOT equal happiness, quite the contrary. I have won back two of my three exes using no contact, and I am no longer with any of them - in fact, the second time we got together things ended even worse than the first time.

I know it is hard and that you probably wont take what I am reading to heart, but remember that you guys broke up for a reason - whatever the reason, I can guarantee you that at the time it was done, it was the absolutely right thing to do.

All the best,
European

 

[TBG]

Haha she actually had to tell you things were going great with the bf, yeah so great she’s seeking attention from a guy she used to bang. Women make me sick sometimes.

I would never message her again, it’s done.

She's back again.

Had been posting on Instagram stories my snow day. Basically joking about how much snow was in my beard and now my long(ish) hair. Guys, women love long hair it would appear.

Any ways I also posted a selfie, looking really good if I do say so myself titled "Finally defrosted". Immediately gets loads of 'likes' from girls and not long after she texts me saying "Not perished in the snow yet?".

Actually tempted to break contact with "Have you? I know how cold your flat gets. Want me to come keep you warm?"

 

[Murk]

Ooooo she bad

 

[TBG]

Yep.

Not gonna actually break contact though. I know it's just a case of her wanting attention.

 

[Murk]

Of course, she's seeing this other guy who is not totally fulfilling her, it's not your job to be the "top-up guy"

Well done on the NC - many would have crumbled

 

[dude99]

"Not perished in the snow yet?".
"

Ignore. Delete. Do nothing else.