Hopes4Hope said:
Day 30 NC
Reason for NC: To give time for himself to think again of his decision.
This guy i dated for 3mos gave up on me. That's a clear sign, and feeling from you that he isn't, follow your senses on this He said he saw in my eyes that my love for him is growing and his love for me is growing too, he was scared things might not work out in the long run because of his demanding job and because of our big age difference. Im 24 and he is 34. He said is not ready to fall in love. BS, I had a job that was demanding with my ex and woman after that, that I dated and I work around 50-60 hours a week, and I still made it work. Age is a cop out in this because I've dated someone 10 years my elder and still had a good time and got along.
I tried everything to convince him that i understand his nature of his job and im willing to do everything to work our our relationship but he does not respond to me anymore. Dude is an ass, he's not a nice guy and he prob let you off in a suckass way because you feel bad about it
Thus,I went NC. Good start
During NC, I go out with my girlfriends, go meet and hangout with guys to keep him off my mind, to avoid the temptation to contact him. Read blogs and articles online that deals with breakups. Don't read blogs, those things are meant for WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR. Come here, you get the red pill reality here and in the end, you'll become a super woman that any guy wants to date.
But there are nights i wake up because i dreamed of him. And that it gives me an awful feeling. It is my subconscious mind telling me that i still miss him. Of course, you're human, you fell in love with him, be to me he doesn't sound like good dating material
I really want him back. Of course, but for the wrong reasons, you've only known him 3 months.
I dont know how long i can wait for him. Some friends tell me that i will not wait for him to come back.
Im still hoping for him.
I told him that i wont mind waiting for him. days, months,years...i dont mind. Ok, that right there is not ok. That's absolute crazy talk.
I still have high hopes maybe because i dont hear from him anymore. Unlike my other exes, i can easily move on because i can see them through fb.
Hear from him or not, I wouldn't put too much stake into that. Mainly because if I dug a chick and I was starting to like her, I'd absolutely do anything in my power to be around her. Sounds to me he is playing the field.
During NC im healing from my pain.
It really helps get me a new perspective.
During my first few weeks, i have struggles every morning i wake up on deciding what should i feel for the day.
Keeping busy myself helps. Acting strong and like im not affected by the breakup helps me too. It will help but learn to accept these feelings rather than bury them
Part of my plan to get him back is to break off nc on day 45. No, stay NC for as long as you need to heal. It will end badly if you break it. it is a few days from his bday. I want to wish him happy bday in advance at the same time act or sound not needy or begging him to be back. What you said IS needy. I want to know how he is going. However part of me dont want to contact because im afraid he will not respond. More than likely he won't
My thoughts in bold
It sounds to me that this guy is leading you on and he said the right things and hit the right boxes to make you feel this way. You need to stay away from this guy and I will tell you why. You WILL get burned. You feel you want to continue with this guy but he gave you every excuse in the book to keep a distance from you and I bet you he is playing the field.
From a male's perspective, when I see a woman that I want to date and be around, they are my attention. I'm still sociable and whatnot, but if I like this woman, I make sure she feels special.
This guy dated you for 3 months and went "I'm afraid"
Said no man ever.
NC, heal, move on to the next guy.
Better yet, go out new years eve and go have some fun with friends. Talk to guys at the bar or dance club. Let loose. Don't give 2 ****s about this guy because I bet you he isn't doing the same.
I know you don't want to read some of this, but I got the rough reality of things, and now I'm better than I was a year ago near my breakup.
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Now for something in my neck of the woods
Day 325
Recently one of my friends (who I'm not friends with anymore) showed me a pick of the ex, that was posted on the guys FB page of them with matching jewelry.
I saw this was kinda surprised she likes hairy fat guys. (No offense, don't start that. I used to be heavy and there isn't anything wrong with that, but I'd rather be buff and lean than what I was.) I thought "To each there own"
I pictured it in my head if a woman that size were on me doing things and I shuttered at the thought and the things surrounding that.
So more so I was pissed at myself for even looking at this picture, and more so mad that my so called friend would show me it. I had some very choice words.
Instead of being all beta and mopey, I went to the gym and absolutely killed it, was back and chest day too. I'd usually do 225 for bench, but I was so mad I went to 245, and every time I struggled near the end of the set of reps, I just got even angrier. I did this with my entire routine and it did hurt. Even as I'm typing now, I'm very sore and my whole body feels aflame and tight. Then after my routine, I did 30 mins of running and 30 mins of swimming, came home, ate some chicken with broccoli and some rice, drank a nice smoothie with it too with a superfood blend.
I didn't let my mind wonder because I know how far I've come from last year. I know my struggles, I know my pain and I know the BS I put up with, and I don't let that **** get in my way anymore. This New Year will be an even better year for me, not because I have a feeling it will happen, because I will make it happen.
