Hey everybody. I disappeared for a while because I thought coming here was holding me back from moving on. Here I am again and still not close to over her.
I have no women and no social life so it's been hard, very hard. I sleep on the floor now to avoid the pain of sleeping in the bed we shared. I've tossed almost all of my possessions in an attempt to rid my mind of attachment. I've cleared my apartment to the bare essentials in an attempt to trick my mind by changing my environment.
Nothing is really working. I'm lonely, painfully so. I work out but the relief is so temporary.
If you don't know my story, my ex had an abortion in January and went ice cold on me afterwards. Her attitude towards me changed overnight, like she was a different person that had never known me.
Contact has been minimal. I never begged her back or anything, but I did lash out her with some angry
texts. Our last communication was me explaining I was angry because she never even offered me a proper discussion. She replied "I don't blame you". That's all she has to say after 5 months.
So I'm at rock bottom. I keep looking at her twitter feed when I can't fight the urge any longer. She seems so happy and I just don't understand it.
I need to follow through with 60 days of No Contact. I think I will volunteer at a retirement home on the weekends. I don't know. Anything, I just need something. I haven't spoken to a woman in 5 months and nobody knows me where I am. I go out sometimes and end up sitting at a bar alone. I don't know what's going to happen to me.
Day 1