The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Shaka]

CerwinVegaFan, man, I can totally feel what you're going through, my friend.

If there are things that you absolutely need, well yeah get them back. And GTFO
But for the watch or **** like that, don't even care. Let her keep it.
Actually, it will make her think about you. If you get it back, it will be YOU that will be going through that, like an emotional trigger.

For me, the jewelry and sh!t, I let her have everything. Because like the watch, it's just a kind of symbol of our relationship. And neither you or I need that kind of symbol that will bring back memories, and then heartaches.

Remember this tho : you're feeling bad because there is a flow of information between you and your ex (friends texting you about it). So yeah, I think you understand that NC is your sanctuary. If you have to, no contact with friends that can act as a node of connection between you and your ex until you move on.
At least, tell them politely not to talk about her.

As for now, it's the time to not make ANY COMPROMISE. Get out, spin plates, work on yourself. It's a blessing, such energy ! Don't waste it on your EX !
You'll get better I promise, trust everyone in those almost 300 pages on this thread !

 

[Cerwin Vega]

I wasn't planning on getting anything from her. Let her keep the watch, I don't need to deal with it. (your words are my thoughts exactly)

The thing that pissed me off so much is that she's treating ALL of the things I did for her as "I'll throw it to the garbage". It's not about the money, it's about the value. I didn't throw anything away, I just put all of her gifts in a big plastic bag deep into my closet. I haven't deleted her pictures or anything, I just don't look at them.
I want to keep those memories, to remember them after I'm totally over her, she's insisting on removing me from her life just to "get over" me? **** that *****.

About friends texting:
It was her friend. I never cared for her actually. Few of my friends know we broke up and they all encourage me to get over her, invite me to go to the beach, go out drinking etc...really good friends !
One friend called me a few minutes ago asked me how's going on with xxxxx. I told her I've stopped talking to her, she said - "excellent! I've got someone for you to meet" - first thing I asked was "is she hot?" she said "yeah! but I still need to do a few things" so that kind of made me happy.

I'm scared sh!tless to get out of my comfort zone. I need a push...working out is good and all but it's a passive attraction.

 

[sylvester the cat]

It has been 15 months since I went NC on my one-itis. Deleted her contact details, blocked from facebook. I have not heard from her since. athough I've heard about her through colleagues who still hang out with her and still think the sun shines out of her aRze. Whenever her name is mentioned I remain tightlipped and change the subject.

I have been able to rebuild self-esteem in the workplace by keeping my gob shut and talking to NO-ONE about her. not even here on this forum. this is the first i've mentioned her since going NC.

 

[Gatsby2017]

I'm on NC day 31.

Three year relationship, lived together for a year, engaged for 7 months.

The break-up happened in the end of January, I moved out by Feb. 1. She approached me about ~45 days into my first NC attempt and we met up briefly when she returned the last of my stuff.

I broke down about a week later and invited her to a special event for ~an hour on a Saturday morning. She turned me down, but was nice about it.

It's now been 31 days since that last contact, and I still miss her mightily.

Since moving out in Feb. I've gotten a new (better) job, established myself in my new apt. and neighborhood, have worked out consistently and gone on dates with about 10-12 new women.

At the end of the day it's hard to compare to the relationship/engagement/etc. we had.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Nothing can compare to what you've had with your girl.

You're still not fully recovered, and being with other women soon after a relationship is what "normal" people call a rebound. The fun may last a few minutes, hours, heck - even days, but eventually you start comparing that hot awesome new girl you've been dating to your ex, and your ex wins every single time.

Nothing to do about it man, only time can heal those deep, deep wounds, and hopefully the scar will only be pretty memories.

Ending of day 6
No longer mad. I wish her the best of luck, and hope she won't fall for a jerk who will use her. Heck, let her turn lesbian, I'd be more than fine with that.

 

[Ncnoob]

Day 10 begins, I wish she would say i am sorry come back, But i know she wont, its sad but i am happy as i have clarity why we broke up, i got needy i guess. Hopefully this nc will improve me.

 

[beatjunkie]

End of Day 19

To all who posted above. I can say with all honesty that it gets much better. Read my previous posts here and see how much i was of a mess. Not saying i'm 100% well off but i have reached the point where i am happy again. And that's the MOST important thing to remember; YOUR happiness and YOUR health. Trust me i had the worst sort of breakup and literally chased her around 3 countries (i work for int. organization) trying over and over again to do everything to win her back...i even broke NC only to find out she is with someone...that is my only regret; i broke NC. When everyone here and in my life told me not to. So stay strong and accept it. Excercise, eat well, focus on work/school and please TRUST ME ON THIS; only YOU can find happiness and peace for YOURSELF. I am sure you all are fantastic people with great futures, just listen to your head not your heart. Now get up, go for a walk and breath some fresh air. Admire nature, go to the park or watch a nature documentary. Life is short, imagine those who would do anything to be young again and be even able to walk. Goodluck to all of you! We are here to support you! Dont be afraid to ask anything. Have a lovely day and goodnight from this side of this little blue planet!!

 

[sparkychops]

Bank holiday here, my guts telling he'll be out tonight. He's deleted his FB, so I have no temptation to look at anything.

I was fine this morning, wrote out a huge email of just sheer and utter anger. Sent it to a friend instead of him. Thankfully. Went to a family party, felt fine, until an uncle brought it up. He had the best of intentions but even talking about it still makes me upset, even though I know I'm not in the wrong at any part of this messed up situation.

It's day 8 official NC from either side. It's strange, although I want to talk to him, I have no interest in texting or making contact. I can't see him getting in touch after this long either. This is the longest we've gone without speaking in two years.

Although it probably wasn't him, I got a missed call from a private number earlier on. My phone was in my hand so whoever it was literally called and hung up straight away. I got no texts or anything. Kind of thinking that may of been his way of making me text to see if it was him, as he done to me 10 days ago. ARGH!!!

 

[SAYNO]

Bank holiday here, my guts telling he'll be out tonight. He's deleted his FB, so I have no temptation to look at anything.

I was fine this morning, wrote out a huge email of just sheer and utter anger. Sent it to a friend instead of him. Thankfully. Went to a family party, felt fine, until an uncle brought it up. He had the best of intentions but even talking about it still makes me upset, even though I know I'm not in the wrong at any part of this messed up situation.

It's day 8 official NC from either side. It's strange, although I want to talk to him, I have no interest in texting or making contact. I can't see him getting in touch after this long either. This is the longest we've gone without speaking in two years.

Although it probably wasn't him, I got a missed call from a private number earlier on. My phone was in my hand so whoever it was literally called and hung up straight away. I got no texts or anything. Kind of thinking that may of been his way of making me text to see if it was him, as he done to me 10 days ago. ARGH!!!

So your a female?

 

[rsebast20]

I'm back to day one. I was solid strong for know 2 days and she texted me. I fell weak and tried talking to her but for some reason she was cold ice again. I said "Just do what you think it's right and make you happy" , she just said "ok". I want her to miss me, but I'm not sure that's ha penning. I try to read a lot to overcome these issues and I stay strong for a couple of days.. then I just fall down and torture myself looking at her pictures and turning my self down.

Back to day 1..

 

[sparkychops]

So your a female?

Yeah. I know this is a guy thing, but it's helping.

 

[Noyou]

3 months and some change

Ok so it has been about 3 months since my ex of 5 years has texted me or contacted me, but the stalking from her is still there (numerous attempts have been made)
However I have become indifferent and see it for what it is now, and since I've been living my life:

1. Was sent for training at my job to get certified half across the country
2. I've went down 3 pant sizes now and I could go down a final one.
3. I've become more "manly" and "confident" and have been told that I'm at least a 8/10 by multiple women that I am dating currently, even one knows what happened with me and the ex and can't believe she let me go. (Note, this dating is for fun and the feelings are mutual, but if it leads to something else, fantastic!)
4. I'm finally showing promise of a 6-pack (never had one, and thrilled)
5. I look and feel healthier than I've ever been
6. Recently I came across a website that has told how my relationship with my ex was and something called a "Borderline," and it has really opened my eyes even further to why I really shouldn't give a damn about any of her crap (which it is.)
7. I got promoted after my training trip and now looking for a fix-er-up house to buy.
8. Have my own spankin new office and my word is kinda gospel at where I work.
9. Recently bumped into one of her guy friends that my ex had a fling with a long time ago (What are the odds of that happening, eh? Fate set up this chance meeting, and I do mean CHANCE meeting), he and is wife avoided me like the plague but I openly said hi, shook his hand firmly (even if I got the most pathetic hand shake from him, he usually has a good one) and asked how they were. He was very short on answers and told them to have a good one, all with a confident, happy smile on my face.
10. I'm being sent to more training trips in the next couple of weeks.
11. Making enough money to enjoy the finer things in life. I recently decked out my car and cleaned it out to perfection. Bought me actual nice training shoes for my workout and bought me one of those pro combat shirts (That I look damn good in BTW).
12. Blocked ex and her friends, but before then, I saw how she was adding men at random and from her work on facebook and posted a new pic a couple days prior to her b-day (Which I felt was a "reminder" of some sort) and I realized how much I really didn't care because she wasn't changing for the better at all.

I do miss her and the good things we had but unfortunately for her, shes a GD mess and I don't need that in my life. I'm going to make damn sure I make it really hard for her to get back when she comes around, because if she left my side when I treated her like a queen and accepted her at her worst, who's not to say she won't leave again. If it's meant to be, then it will happen

Do NC for you guys and gals, it gets better and universe will have your back once you finally let go. It took me 2 months to see this and to truly better myself, my career and my soul. I was once a fool and the BIGGEST BETA CHUMP ever for her, to the point of begging her.

I wised up and took my life back and now I'm better than I ever was and accomplished so much in a short time frame, and I'm still growing.

You can do it. Remember if it's meant to be, she/he will change to get you back at all costs,don't be a chump and run after the person who dumped you.

 

[Rave18]

Back to day one. Checked her FB profile yesterday.

 

[beatjunkie]

^^ @Rave18 i wouldn't count that as breaking NC. just please delete her if you can't stop looking at her fb. or use a browser extension to stop you from going to FB. come on, you CAN do this!

 

[Rave18]

^^ @Rave18 i wouldn't count that as breaking NC. just please delete her if you can't stop looking at her fb. or use a browser extension to stop you from going to FB. come on, you CAN do this!

I thought it did

3. No spying. You would be amazed at how many women I have known that take it upon themselves to do a quick drive by of the ex’s house. This can satisfy that craving to know if he is home or out on the town with the boys. Worse case scenario you see a strange car outside and your imagination hits an all time high. Don’t do it. This can cause an emotional phone call (see #1) to your ex. Besides, blabbing to him what you saw will only make you look psycho. Not good.

If that is the case, the last time I contacted my ex was when I sent her an email on 30/11/2013 i.e. Five months back.

 

[Ncnoob]

Back to day one. Checked her FB profile yesterday.

That isnt contacting her or replying her so wont call that as Break of Nc. You may delete her of facebook, but its better if you dont look at that profile as it will bring you to contact her. I do the same but cant delete her as we are in too many similar groups and i dont want people to bring it up too much infront of me.
If it helps delete her, but looking at her profile is not breaking NC.

 

[beatjunkie]

If that is the case, the last time I contacted my ex was when I sent her an email on 30/11/2013 i.e. Five months back.

The reason why NC works is that you cut off alllll ways of contacting AND viewing her. This allows you to heal. By checking her facebook and all sorts of other tactics, without actually contacting her, you prolong your own pain my friend. Hence 5 months later and you're still struggling with this break up. Cut.It.All.Off!!

 

[sparkychops]

I woke up this morning feeling confused. I'm not sure he realizes we're in NC, and if he does, he's probably being as stubborn as me. Day 9, here we go...

 

[sparkychops]

Day 9

Can't believe I've lasted another day, thought I would have broken by now. Think the realisation is setting in that I'm not going to hear from him, and everytime I get tempted to text I think about how I'd feel if he didn't reply - that's usually enough to knock me straight off that idea!!

I went back to work today, and felt much better of it. A bit of normality was probably what I needed. I was positive most of the day after I dragged myself out of bed, it was only around the 4.30 mark I kinda started moping. Came home, had a nap and now I feel fine. Still cannot get him off my brain though, the sooner that goes the better!!!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

End of day 7
No calls from her. Email with a pic of Breaking Bad and the text "This will always remind me of you.". We used to watch the show together.

I hope she's OK.