The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Darrenez]

You're being led around by this girl. A break is just an excuse for her to jump on another guy while keeping you on the back burner. 6 years is a long time but try not to let your emotions erode your self-respect. Read the basics on here and at therationalmale.com.

I would ignore all communication from her and return the ring to wherever you bought it. Don't let her have it.

Hey Cheeks,

She wants to and insists to give me the money for the ring..I wasn't mad that she went in a date on the break tbh as we were on a break. Apart from a missed call I haven't heard from her at all although I've only been doing nc since Friday. There are other reasons she gave for the break up such as not sure if she wants children with me after I let her down once and reacted badly to her being pregnant , also the fact she says she has fallen out of love with me although she still thinks I'm good looking etc.

Don't get me wrong I know our relationship wasn't perfect but we never argued and always had fun together, trusted each other and I wanted to propose and instead of talking about it maybe I should have just done it.

What do you think she maybe thinking of me not contacting her etc?

 

[beatjunkie]

i hope u fcking puke everytime i go without a meal. u destroyed me only because i let u. i wasnt strong enough to break it off when i WANTED TO. now im suffering because i invested so much in this emotionally. now my job sucks and i cant even stand the thought of being in the same building as u, yet alone bump into u in the staircase. my dream...u have become my nightmare. u picked me up when i was depressed but i will fight tooth and nail to get back up without u. if i have to rebuild my life brick by brick, i will do it and overcome this. i hope u suffer wherver u are. u know what u did. and i know what i did. sweet nighttmares b!tch.

sorry guys just venting. wanted to send this but i wont. dont wanna talk about her too much on my journal. peace and big ups to narcissist and noobology.

 

[Darrenez]

I can deal with not riniging my ex during nc but what I can't deal with is the memories of her and everything we did together during the 6 years, so many happy memories..how do you guys deal with this? I try so hard to stop thinking about it as soon as I start to think about her..moved her stuff out of my room so I can't be reminded of her but wish my memory could be erased.

 

[Cheeks]

I can deal with not riniging my ex during nc but what I can't deal with is the memories of her and everything we did together during the 6 years, so many happy memories..how do you guys deal with this? I try so hard to stop thinking about it as soon as I start to think about her..moved her stuff out of my room so I can't be reminded of her but wish my memory could be erased.

You won't stop thinking of her overnight...it's just one of those traumatic life experiences that you have to find the mental and emotional strength to power through.

 

[Darrenez]

Ill probably post on here quite a bit because for some reason it kind of helps getting a letting it out on here with you guys!and with you all giving me advice. A friend said I need to either distance myself or just tell her exactly how I feel. Howevershe should already know how I feel about her and how much I love her. Telling her now again literally a week later won't make a difference in my opinion as she has said what she wants from me and how she feels about the relationship.

 

[tripod23]

listen guys .....i know its tough but its the only way tokeep your self respect........

darrenez mate 6 yrs is a long time dont get me wrong.......one of my exes told me love wasnt enough after 13 years .......ha ha holy shyt can you imagine how iv felt.....not good i can tell you , but iv picked myself up , bought a house , got my business in order the best i can , and im moving forward because if you dont this very situation will eat away at you....trust me and it will make you ill.

so your girl has told you she sees you more of a friend ......right ok.......well i think this is a smoke screen , basicially she has lost attraction for you but wants to keep you in her life while she explores other things..........thats nice of her...

she has changed the terms of your relationship.....now you need to vanish and fvck wether it will pyss her off.......who cares how she feels ......she aint caring about you my friend........shes already been dating someone else.........

your attitude needs to be ......right ok you see me as a friend do you ...and there is no way we can work this out after 6 years together............NO ..............right ok bye ...................and just vanish.

its the only way to deal with it....because you have no more cards to play....as hard as it is and i know its tough its tested me truley it has , but you will be ok my friend ......trust me......your path is mapped ...and this is just a learning curve in your life..

always remember women act on emotions ......and all them nice feelings from first dates is total bs.......its all rebound stuff in my opinion.......finding someone who you connect with seriously long term isnt an easy thing to find i dont think........you never know she may come back begging ............but by that time with being a so suave member you will have moved on...

dont get down about it if possible , be thankfull for the lesson we all have to go through these things so we can take stock , and move onto better things fingers crossed....

just my 2 pennies worth

take care guys

 

[Darrenez]

listen guys .....i know its tough but its the only way tokeep your self respect........

darrenez mate 6 yrs is a long time dont get me wrong.......one of my exes told me love wasnt enough after 13 years .......ha ha holy shyt can you imagine how iv felt.....not good i can tell you , but iv picked myself up , bought a house , got my business in order the best i can , and im moving forward because if you dont this very situation will eat away at you....trust me and it will make you ill.

so your girl has told you she sees you more of a friend ......right ok.......well i think this is a smoke screen , basicially she has lost attraction for you but wants to keep you in her life while she explores other things..........thats nice of her...

she has changed the terms of your relationship.....now you need to vaniish and fvck wether it will pyss her off.......who cares how she feels ......she aint caring about you my friend........shes already been dating someone else.........

your attitude needs to be ......right ok you see me as a friend do you ...and there is no way we can work this out after 6 years together............NO ..............right ok bye ...................and just vanish.

its the only way to deal with it....because you have no more cards to play....as hard as it is and i know its tough its tested me truley it has , but you will be ok my friend ......trust me......your path is mapped ...and this is just a learning curve in your life..

always remember women act on emotions ......and all them nice feelings from first dates is total bs.......its all rebound stuff in my opinion.......finding someone who you connect with seriously long term isnt an easy thing to find i dont think........you never know she may come back begging ............but by that time with being a so suave member you will have moved on...

dont get down about it if possible , be thankfull for the lesson we all have to go through these things so we can take stock , and move onto better things fingers crossed....

just my 2 pennies worth

take care guys

Brilliant tips mate, real good. I'd like to think she isn't already dating someone but as I said she went on a date on the break..makes me laugh because apart from one incident in those 6 years, myself and my family treated her so well its unreal. In those 6 years she was probably unemployed for 3 years and I paid for everything and brought her gifts, took her on holiday etc. She was also dealing with depression and now she has a job she likes and enjoys she wants to go out there and see her friends more..so its bye bye me after everything. The whole friends thing makes me think its just an excuse not to be with me anymore..again great tips mate!

 

[beatjunkie]

guys this b just called me.

i deleted her number so i didn't know who it was. i answered and the person hung up. i called back and no answer. then another call 5 mins later and its her. so i played it cool, said i was ok and that was it. she said she will call me later.

wat the fffffffffffffffff! i am on the road to recovery.

advise please. could this b my chance of revenge?? i wana destroy this b

 

[narcissist]

guys this b just called me.

i deleted her number so i didn't know who it was. i answered and the person hung up. i called back and no answer. then another call 5 mins later and its her. so i played it cool, said i was ok and that was it. she said she will call me later.

wat the fffffffffffffffff! i am on the road to recovery.

advise please. could this b my chance of revenge?? i wana destroy this b

Revenge is best served never.

Don't waste your time mate. Be the better person. Move on. Revenge will do your soul absolutely no good.

Erasing her out of your life, if anything, will ultimately be the best revenge.

And becoming the best you, that you can possibly achieve will be the best revenge. She will kick herself in the a$$ over and over again for fvcking up her chances with you. BUT this is not the reason to better yourself my dude.

You gotta move on.

Get to a point where she isn't worth your revenge.

The only reason why you want to get revenge is because you still love her and your emotionally attached to her and you want her to feel the same pain you are feeling. I hate to say it, but I'm going to say it anyways, and don't take it personally. But its childish. I know for a fact that you are better then this man.

 

[Cheeks]

Day 27, almost four weeks now. I can feel myself crossing that "pain barrier", as MonkeyKing elucidated.

 

[HW1984]

Day 29... 38 overall

The urge to call her is getting worse. My head feels clear like I can just call and be casual but the fact that I want to call is telling that I'm not ready to. I have convinced myself that I don't want her back and have been dating but I know the truth is that I do want things to work out down the line and that keeping some line of communication is better than none. I know that this is just my head messing with me. Just airing it out on here so I don't actually do it.

 

[Cheeks]

Day 29... 38 overall

The urge to call her is getting worse. My head feels clear like I can just call and be casual but the fact that I want to call is telling that I'm not ready to. I have convinced myself that I don't want her back and have been dating but I know the truth is that I do want things to work out down the line and that keeping some line of communication is better than none. I know that this is just my head messing with me. Just airing it out on here so I don't actually do it.

what would you say if you did call? I can honestly proclaim that I have nothing to say to my ex at this point

 

[Lotus Effect]

Just to inform you all.

Don't be delusional believing that 2 months will be enough for you to heal/get over.

Today is the 11 month mark of when she asked for a "break". It is 9 months since we are officially broken up, 7 months that I decided go NC, and 6 months since I've last heard anything from her.
(Yeah, it is a troublesome situation, with a pain span of almost 6 months between the ending from the real end.)

I can't say it is almost a year now, because it is only six months of real NC. But let us say it is something in the middle of it!

Anyway, all this time have passed, I've hooked up with countless chicks ever since. Had 2 mini relationships. Broke one of these chick's heart...

...Even after all of that, I have not forgot her. I am not over her. And I still think about her every single day!

But I don't want to upset the new guys that are begining the challenge right now. I just want to inform you that THIS IS THE ONLY WAY of ever getting over someone. It still hurts, but it don't hurt as it once did. I still miss, but I have other girls in my mind!

What eveyone preaches in here is true. There is no better option. If you keep on chasing, you will never allow yourself to get over her because she will always be there! Only by cutting the cord you have a chance to move on. Simply put, because she won't be around. Only in your mind!

Now I beg you all. Stay strong, follow this, and other experienced users advices!

Cheers!!

 

[HW1984]

Cheeks....

Exactly. That is usally what gets me not to call. The scenario in your head will never pan out and you will only come off as weak. Nothing good will come of calling.

Lotus...

I feel you. This was our 2nd time around. I left the first time and broke her heart b/c I wasn't ready for it. The 2nd time around she had let that go and things were great. Then another ex called her. She had no interest in him but it made her question my motives. Why do all me exes try to come back? That's where it started going down hill.... She lost trust. I want her to be happy and if there is a new guy already I do not want to put her through that with him. All reasons point to don't call and there really isn't one good reason to call even though my head says do it.

 

[Darrenez]

A few more questions

Ok so just say my ex texts me something innocent...like how am I? hows work?etc..what's the best way to answer back, if at all( it states in the rules not too)

Do I ignore her?...my thinking of doing this could backfire as she could feel that even if she wants to win me back again she may not even try as I don't even answer her text messages (all hypothetical) then may not want to give things a second try at all

I expect she will though, as over the last 6 years she and I spoke every single day and obviously text each other loads so I know she will message me soon or over the month at somepoint.

Cheers guys:rockon:

 

[narcissist]

Just to inform you all.

Don't be delusional believing that 2 months will be enough for you to heal/get over.

Today is the 11 month mark of when she asked for a "break". It is 9 months since we are officially broken up, 7 months that I decided go NC, and 6 months since I've last heard anything from her.
(Yeah, it is a troublesome situation, with a pain span of almost 6 months between the ending from the real end.)

I can't say it is almost a year now, because it is only six months of real NC. But let us say it is something in the middle of it!

Anyway, all this time have passed, I've hooked up with countless chicks ever since. Had 2 mini relationships. Broke one of these chick's heart...

...Even after all of that, I have not forgot her. I am not over her. And I still think about her every single day!

But I don't want to upset the new guys that are begining the challenge right now. I just want to inform you that THIS IS THE ONLY WAY of ever getting over someone. It still hurts, but it don't hurt as it once did. I still miss, but I have other girls in my mind!

What eveyone preaches in here is true. There is no better option. If you keep on chasing, you will never allow yourself to get over her because she will always be there! Only by cutting the cord you have a chance to move on. Simply put, because she won't be around. Only in your mind!

Now I beg you all. Stay strong, follow this, and other experienced users advices!

Cheers!!

So true lotus. So very true.

It's been about 6 months since I've broken up with my ex and initiated NC

I've had sex with over 5 other girls since then.

1 mini relationship

And too many dates to even count.

Who do i think about before i go to sleep?

My ex.

Lol, but i remain strong as an ox and obviously have no interest in contacting her ever again.

Nc is the best way to move on no doubt. But i dont think these girls will ever truly leave our minds. They were main characters in our movie.

DONT BE DISCOURAGED YOU GUYS!!!

You will get to a point where you dont care that your not with her, you'll get to a point where your content with being single.

I know i am. Even though i still think about her, I would much rather stay single then get back with her. 100%.

So NC is most definitely the way to go!!!

 

[tripod23]

darrenez......i wouldnt usume anything at this point if i was you , my exes havent text me in like 7 months, and we text all the time , just stay strong my friend and do your best to realise it is over.

if she wants you back trust me she will make it known , in my case my ex wont text me after the way i left things as i totally blasted her for treating me with pure content and being an arrogant little bish...........not something im proud of, but with a clear thinking mind as i type this i really feel it was the best thing i could have done.........she had pushed mr nice guy to fvckin far.

listen mate as time passes like me and all the other guys it will get easier it really will , you have to become a better version of yourself mate........not allways easy to do as these situations wear you down , but none the less you must try your best...

all i have done is focus on postive things and i have now realised thats whats happend has been for a reason , and at the end of the day its their loss....

the way i look at it now is like this , when i had a partner in what way did they enhance my life , in what way did they make my life easier,,,,,,the answer to this has always been [ not very much ]...there has always been some problem in one form or another and for the time being i simply cant be bothered with any shyt at all from any chick.......you will feel the same as time goes on.

just focus on your missions , dream , hobbies , friends , make more money , anything that occupies your mind from any toxic situation or person.

no-one knows what will happen , but you have to use this time to better yourself in any way possible.......keep productive as much as poss

hang in there buddy.

 

[Darrenez]

Hi tripod23 thanks for the advice and tips.

I'll wait and see if she messages me first and then ask what I should do on here. We were meant to be going to an event next month as I brought her tickets for her birthday but now I need to forget about that happening now.

I'm already focused on my weight training as I go 4 times a week but tempted to try some evening classes as it would be something to do.

It is her loss although I do have a regret over the way I reached to a situation, myself and my ex faced. Part of the break up is because of my behaviour a few years ago. I guess it is telling that she went on a date during the break and she now says she sees me as a friend.

 

[HW1984]

Darrenez....

Girls don't forget. Whatever you did years ago if she still can't get past it she never will. You were in a dead end. Count your blessings and move on. Saving yourself a lot of further heartache. Same reason mine ended. She couldn't forget that I left once before and it scared her. She couldn't trust me anymore. If you have the tickets then still go to the event. You have one month to find a date for it. It will help. Don't let them go to waste.

 

[Backwardsman]

Revenge is best served never.

Don't waste your time mate. Be the better person. Move on. Revenge will do your soul absolutely no good.

Erasing her out of your life, if anything, will ultimately be the best revenge.

And becoming the best you, that you can possibly achieve will be the best revenge. She will kick herself in the a$$ over and over again for fvcking up her chances with you. BUT this is not the reason to better yourself my dude.

You gotta move on.

Get to a point where she isn't worth your revenge.

The only reason why you want to get revenge is because you still love her and your emotionally attached to her and you want her to feel the same pain you are feeling. I hate to say it, but I'm going to say it anyways, and don't take it personally. But its childish. I know for a fact that you are better then this man.

Couldnt have put it better myself - Perfect.....