Hi all!
I've been reading this thread for a while, and it help me get through the toughest phase of the NC, that is the decision to execute it and the first day of it.
I'm on day 4 now.
I was in a 7 month LDR relationship with a girl that was 15 years younger than me. I would not say she played me at all, maybe except the last 1-2 months or so, or left me for some other guy, not that I know off anyway.
She was the one that convinced me for this relationship, despite the long distance and the age difference. She was loving, showing much interest by mailing, chatting, skyping every single day since we met (we met in June 2013, became a couple two months later when we met for the first time in person).
We had fights about moving together, when to move, and who moved where. Sometimes she had a harsh attitude, and I had difficulty handling it, but we could handle them all. But not the moving part, it was always an issue that never got resolved.
We had a major fight in February, and after that I never heard her say that she loved me again. That was a red flag that I should have payed more attention to, but I didn't. We reconciled and decided to continue as lovers. But during the following months the contact faded to chatting, rather than skyping, majorly because both she and I had were very busy with work. I didn't mind it, I thought it was temporary.
There are much more to tell, but three weeks ago she got fired, and was very depressed when she skyped me. She was crying and told me what happened. I did my part as a emotional tampon, which I did from time to time (but i didn't mind as I was "older and wiser"). She also said that she didn't not know where this relation was heading and and that she was ending it. I told her not to make hasty decisions and that we should talk about it later. She agreed.
We chatted for a while after the Skype conversation. She was very ignorant when she talked to me, so something triggered a reaction which made me write insults to her, stuff like she had become snobbish and selfish. She asked me to calm down, but I kept writing. I didn't call her words, but I insulted her intentionally. And I dumped her!
The next day I regretted what I have said and done. From then on I acted like real AFC and begged and begged. I mailed, I wrote messages on Facebook, Whatsapp and SMSs. So she blocked me everywhere.
We had fights before which were less serious, and I usually used to wait 2-3 days before contacting her. During those 2-3 days she would send messages, call, etc to get my attention, and I would finally give up. This time she contacted me after 2-3 days asking how I felt. She was snobby, and wrote that she would like to support me in any way if needed (I make good money, and I hardly need financial support), so i guessed she meant friendly support, so I said needed to talk to her as I was not feeling well. She said she would call, but she didn't. I got anxious and sent her a lot of messages. Finally she wrote "give it some time".
After a week I contacted her. She wrote (we are still chatting, she doesn't answer the phone) "we can be friends, and she would really like that, but she was sure we could never be a couple again". This was before I had started reading forums like this one, so I agreed to LJBF since I panicked about not meeting her ever again.
At that time I was reading advice on how to get an ex back, so it seemed reasonable to continue as friends in order to meet in person when I had the chance (I cannot visit her as often as I want because of my job). We exchanged couple of very friendly messages, but nothing else. Then I got wiser as I read postings on forums, and I decided to break the friendship.
I wrote that I saw no point in being friends if we would not talk like adults about what had happened (I'm not even sure about who dumped who). She answered in a very cold, ice cold, manner, saying that she would not care less. She was not the same person I knew and I realized the reason after further reading on the internet (my guess was she was doing this as her heart was broken badly).
I wrote that I expected no answer unless she was ready talk like adults. I got no answer to that. So I went NC on Monday without telling her. The same day she started following me on Twitter and Instagram (I had kicked her out before going NC).
On Tuesday she sent a message asking about an IT thing (I'm an IT Tech), which I ignored. Yesterday (day 3) she posts a picture on Instagram about how she had evaluated the last 8 months, and her conclusion was somewhat unclear (nothing directly about the relationship, but a quote which we both knew, about "people who stop loving would age faster"), and "the world was too small for bad feelings, and to big for learning new things). I have no idea about what she tried to say, or whether it was addressed to me or not. I didn't do anything.
I'm still blocked on everyplace except Skype, so I guess I shouldn't try to interpret anything, or maybe she's just playing me in order to get a chance to turn me down again.
It was not the best relationship when it came to showing an effort to make it work (from both sides), but it was a peaceful and happy one when it went well.
Well, day 4 it is.
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