The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[beatjunkie]

HW

hly fck u saved me bro. i was just typing the dreaded email ..."i'm sorry for all the times i hurt you"

you see with her...the reason she dumped me is because i was too much of a DJ, not there for her ALL the time, and she wanted something serious. now i'm thinking No Contact is gonna push her away for good.

man this **** is killin me bro, just literally left my psychiatrist (he said NC is the way) but i still cant get my head around it....i'm currently not in the country she lives in but will be going there tomorrow night. pray for me bro

 

[beatjunkie]

*going there tomorow night because i work there.

i literally took a week off work for this **** and left the country.

we work together. F...M...L

 

[HW1984]

That's tough man but regardless of the reason for the break up chasing will only make you look weak. Give her her time to figure out what she wants and time to clear your head so that you are thinking straight. Keep the emails in the drafts and look at them in a month and you will laugh at what you wrote and probably end up calling yourself a pu$$y.
Only time will tell and you will eventually get over it. I'm at day 22 and still think about her a lot but the days are a lot easier. I no longer have that heavy feeling nor do I want her back at this point.

 

[beatjunkie]

That's tough man but regardless of the reason for the break up chasing will only make you look weak. Give her her time to figure out what she wants and time to clear your head so that you are thinking straight. Keep the emails in the drafts and look at them in a month and you will laugh at what you wrote and probably end up calling yourself a pu$$y.
Only time will tell and you will eventually get over it. I'm at day 22 and still think about her a lot but the days are a lot easier. I no longer have that heavy feeling nor do I want her back at this point.

true words...i know...just gotta convince myself.

previous breakup was the worse. b!tch had an abortion without telling me and then left me for another guy. that killed me. left the country for an entire year and went and did my masters degree. so i guess something good always comes out of this ****..i'm on day 4 since accepting the challenge but 8 overall.

thanks again bro...i keep rereading ur posts and other (jariel etc). i can do this. thank god for this forum.

 

[HW1984]

Reading other posts helps a ton. My old ones and check out Yonggg. Also on day 20 something. You can definitley see how our thought process progressively gets better and more reasonable. A relationship takes two. You both have to want it. If one wants and the other doesn't then you are only prolonging the stress and pain by not letting her go. Respect her wish and let her go. Be a gentleman and a man about it. But do that for you, not her.

 

[beatjunkie]

Respect her wish and let her go. Be a gentleman and a man about it. But do that for you, not her.

that hit me like a ton of bricks.

this.is.what.i.needed.to.hear.

 

[beatjunkie]

end of day 4.

big ups and thanks to @HW1984

 

[bigdrov1x]

Hey Beatjunkie. I have been where you are at many times. The thing that needs to be remembered is that this is real life. "Real life" does not follow some Hollywood melo dramatic script like we see in the movies. As much as we want it to be this way, it just is not. I am as guilty of the next guy to play into the whole "romance thing" and all that stuff. And there are those type of women out there. Ive had that before and screwed it up. That is for another thread though. Anyways, in real life, the girl does not come back and you go riding off into the sunset happily ever after. At least 95% of the time, it is just delaying the inevitable. Love yourself first!!!! A woman is either gonna be your sidepiece that is along for the ride, or she is not. It took me a lot of years to realize this, but it is the science truth my man. Be the best dude that you can be, and the women will come. They will go also, it is just a part of life. Just tell yourself this: "No woman is worth losing my self respect over!"

 

[Induced Drag]

Beatjunkie, it's weird I had this sudden urge to break nc and you telling me not to only to have the same impulse I did. Must have been a full moon or something last night. I can't see any reason to break nc. I decided to stay nc too. Thanks guys.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Anything in life worth doing is not going to be easy. That principle pretty much holds true for everything....NC included...Peace

 

[yonggg]

day 25
since day 20, its getting easier for me, can focus more about me.
the hardest days for me are about day 10 to day 17.

i have met her mom yesterday
she suspected that i become slimmer, more in shape. asked me do i start gym again.

earlier she talked about just ordinary things,and she began to say that she didnt want to talk about my ex, but since we met, she would like to share her feeling.
she said my ex havent told anythin about the break up, when she asked my ex, my ex just cried and dont want to talk.
she kept bringing topic about my ex. when i cant interupt her talking, i jut said yes.
so all the time, i just said yes, or sorry i dont want to talk about, im not ready yet, etc.

i never initiate to talk about my ex and acted cool. her mom also said that my ex needs support as she is in overseas alone, and she thiink i can support my ex. i just said i still need time.

she said, in relaitionship, its normal that sometimes rltnship can break and fixed again. she also said that if i still have my ex's contact,its weird, if my ex havent told her anyhing, why her mom was so insecure like that, back then i ever told my ex, that usually when i breakup, i would delete contat, and i dont think rltnship that ever broke once, cant be fixed again.

also she asked whether im so hurt, or hate my ex,i just say no, i try to forget it ,thats why i need time.i dont know why she ask like that, did she know im the one being dumped and hurted.

in he end she apologized for talkin about my ex, and i asked whether im okey or not, i just said oke, but dont want to talk about it again.

i somehow rgret it, now that feeling and thinking about her came back again,
i started to think more about her, and have the urge to contact her,

oh man, does this mean i should restart nc to day 1 since i met her mom?
any advice ?

her mom was also hurted,
she was emotional, not angry, i can see she was sobbing,
she also hurted, because she said she love me as her own son, and dont want this to end like strangers, but i didnt want to be an emotional tampon, i just acted cool, evwn thouht i really want to share what i have been feelin and thinking, and just said i dont want to talk about it. its awkward and weird situation.

 

[yonggg]

it was funny when she was so insecure, asking me whether im trying to forget or removing my ex from my life. and frequently repeated it,
since i just said past is past, and i appreciate if she changed the subject

 

[HW1984]

Way to stay cool Yonggg... Stay NC. If she really does need support over there and is lonely she will just use you for that and then cut you off again when another guy comes along. Her mom may have just been feeding you BS because SHE thinks that you guys should be together.

Side Note: Be very careful guys when drinking. I was out with the boys last night and even though I'm 22 days out I almost texted her before bed without even thinking about it. Looked at my phone this morning relieved that I didn't.

 

[Adz--]

day 30 something

I was doing extremely well until today. I was telling my friend what happened, and told her my ex followed me on twitter and she wanted to see it. she saw her profile and read her tweet but she said one too many things about my ex, like she got a new piercing, how she is stressed and other BS and what she is up to and now i just feel like i have to let it out before it F**cks with my head.

I still think of her before i go to sleep and the first thing when i wake up, it's extremely frustrating, i try not think to deep into it becuase it starts to spring up questions in my mind like does she miss me etc.

I feel pathetic even thinking this crap..

adz--

 

[yonggg]

Way to stay cool Yonggg... Stay NC. If she really does need support over there and is lonely she will just use you for that and then cut you off again when another guy comes along. Her mom may have just been feeding you BS because SHE thinks that you guys should be together.

Side Note: Be very careful guys when drinking. I was out with the boys last night and even though I'm 22 days out I almost texted her before bed without even thinking about it. Looked at my phone this morning relieved that I didn't.

haha
glad u didnt send that drunk text.

what is BS btw?

 

[Adz--]

haha
glad u didnt send that drunk text.

what is BS btw?

BS means Bull Sh*t bro

 

[rasj1983]

day 30 something

I was doing extremely well until today. I was telling my friend what happened, and told her my ex followed me on twitter and she wanted to see it. she saw her profile and read her tweet but she said one too many things about my ex, like she got a new piercing, how she is stressed and other BS and what she is up to and now i just feel like i have to let it out before it F**cks with my head.

I still think of her before i go to sleep and the first thing when i wake up, it's extremely frustrating, i try not think to deep into it becuase it starts to spring up questions in my mind like does she miss me etc.

I feel pathetic even thinking this crap..

adz--

I know what is it, i saw my ex profile on FB in the last weekend, every damn morning my first thought is her :cuss: , 18 days in NC...but i'm still strong, and i will not break NC...:nono:

 

[yonggg]

day 30 something

I was doing extremely well until today. I was telling my friend what happened, and told her my ex followed me on twitter and she wanted to see it. she saw her profile and read her tweet but she said one too many things about my ex, like she got a new piercing, how she is stressed and other BS and what she is up to and now i just feel like i have to let it out before it F**cks with my head.

I still think of her before i go to sleep and the first thing when i wake up, it's extremely frustrating, i try not think to deep into it becuase it starts to spring up questions in my mind like does she miss me etc.

I feel pathetic even thinking this crap..

adz--

since i met with my ex's mom, and she fed me with those BS, my mind is ****ed once more,
yes, i start think it deeply, and wonder does she miss me, etc.

day 26 now.

 

[beatjunkie]

day 6

just saw her in the corridor at work.

panic attack more or less and can't focus on work any more

 

[beatjunkie]

guy im thinking of breaking contact

i dont wanna leave this in such a state

i work with this b and i can't keep having panic attacks everytime i see her. i dont even want her back just wanna be on normal terms.

advise please