The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Johnny Alias

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Day 60. Hot Damn. Sometimes I can't believe I made it this far.

You're still in my head you effing abusive, gold digging drunk.... but you're less shiny and rose colored now. Now your wrinkles and stupid glamour shot hair is beginning to come to the fore. I've banged three chicks with better bodies than you have. I've got dates with more...

I'm just not indifferent. Not yet. I still feel too much for you. Need to let it go. I was I was one of your friends... they're leaving you because they weren't attracted to you and never shared a bed with you. They realize you're effing crazy and there's nothing them them back from "See ya!"

Thank god you're old. I don't know how some of these guys that go out with the younger version of you do it. I got you at the end of your hotness... and now your life will be one drunken slide into obscurity and mediocrity.

So tired of thinking about you...
 

Arossi2211

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I threatened my ex with court to see my child last week as I hadn't seen her for a month. So she lets me see my daughter today she wasn't there I had to face her mum, I had to play nice and apologise for my part in the break up. Her mum was emotional and because I was told I could only see my daughter for an hour when I had to leave my daughter got very upset. This was the hardest moment of my life.

Here's the thing it was a volatile and violent relationship, not extreme violence just slapping pushing stuff like that. So my ex is playing the abused victim card and making me out to be a wife beater, she says she doesn't want to see me and that's why she wasn't around when I saw my child.

I am saying far too much to her and making massive mistakes !!!!!!!

She thought the other day that I had met some one else I told her I was happy now after the break up and was glad we split up because I'm a better person now. She told me that she is not seeing anyone (which is probably bull****). She also said she still has some feelings for me and I stupidly told her I was single. I've been trying to play nice in order to see my child as much as I can, as using my child is her way of holding power over me. Big error on my part again because I still have strong feelings for her (I'm a FOOL) I didn't hear from her next day other than to say thanks for some money I gave her for my child so I texted her in the evening saying that I still loved her and was finding it hard to move on and had been thinking about her all day (I don't know what I was thinking?).

She replied saying its nice to know that I still think of her sometimes and that she thinks of me sometimes. She also said that even though she hated the relationship that she missed me being in her bed (she loved the sex) I then said we could still have sex and she said no because we still both have feelings.

I was also on the phone to my previous ex regarding my son while at her mums house today and she got jealous over that and seems really bugged. She is constantly giving me grief and seems very bitter and angry. I know anyone reading this will think I'm being totally beta fag but trust me I know myself and I'm beating myself up over it and after seeing my daughter get so upset today when I had to leave her it's made me hit rock bottom.

I need to do 30 days no contact and actually stick to it this time !!! As much as it hurts to not have contact with my daughter it needs to be done because I keep taking backward steps with everything I'm doing right now !!! I'm losing sleep over it.....

Any sensible words of advice would be appreciated !!
 

bateman72

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Arossi2211 said:
I threatened my ex with court to see my child last week as I hadn't seen her for a month. So she lets me see my daughter today she wasn't there I had to face her mum, I had to play nice and apologise for my part in the break up. Her mum was emotional and because I was told I could only see my daughter for an hour when I had to leave my daughter got very upset. This was the hardest moment of my life.

Here's the thing it was a volatile and violent relationship, not extreme violence just slapping pushing stuff like that. So my ex is playing the abused victim card and making me out to be a wife beater, she says she doesn't want to see me and that's why she wasn't around when I saw my child.

I am saying far too much to her and making massive mistakes !!!!!!!

She thought the other day that I had met some one else I told her I was happy now after the break up and was glad we split up because I'm a better person now. She told me that she is not seeing anyone (which is probably bull****). She also said she still has some feelings for me and I stupidly told her I was single. I've been trying to play nice in order to see my child as much as I can, as using my child is her way of holding power over me. Big error on my part again because I still have strong feelings for her (I'm a FOOL) I didn't hear from her next day other than to say thanks for some money I gave her for my child so I texted her in the evening saying that I still loved her and was finding it hard to move on and had been thinking about her all day (I don't know what I was thinking?).

She replied saying its nice to know that I still think of her sometimes and that she thinks of me sometimes. She also said that even though she hated the relationship that she missed me being in her bed (she loved the sex) I then said we could still have sex and she said no because we still both have feelings.

I was also on the phone to my previous ex regarding my son while at her mums house today and she got jealous over that and seems really bugged. She is constantly giving me grief and seems very bitter and angry. I know anyone reading this will think I'm being totally beta fag but trust me I know myself and I'm beating myself up over it and after seeing my daughter get so upset today when I had to leave her it's made me hit rock bottom.

I need to do 30 days no contact and actually stick to it this time !!! As much as it hurts to not have contact with my daughter it needs to be done because I keep taking backward steps with everything I'm doing right now !!! I'm losing sleep over it.....

Any sensible words of advice would be appreciated !!

Dude:


Grandmother freaking out while you are over there. You calling your ex gf while you are visiting your daughter (really dude?).

This is going to sound harsh dude but do you really think your daughter is benefitting from a visit where all the adults are acting crazy.

I get the sense that both you and your ex are acting a bit childish. what kind of male role model are you giving your daughter by going over to her place and calling an ex-gf while you are there. Its pretty obvious that you did this just to get back at your ex.

If your daughter is two years old then you got about 16 years of realization that your ex was and is a mistake in your life. Disengage for the benefit of the child.

no visit is better than a chaotic drama filled visit. get a lawyer.
 

Arossi2211

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bateman72 said:
Dude:


Grandmother freaking out while you are over there. You calling your ex gf while you are visiting your daughter (really dude?).

This is going to sound harsh dude but do you really think your daughter is benefitting from a visit where all the adults are acting crazy.

I get the sense that both you and your ex are acting a bit childish. what kind of male role model are you giving your daughter by going over to her place and calling an ex-gf while you are there. Its pretty obvious that you did this just to get back at your ex.

If your daughter is two years old then you got about 16 years of realization that your ex was and is a mistake in your life. Disengage for the benefit of the child.

no visit is better than a chaotic drama filled visit. get a lawyer.


I didn't call my other ex she called me to confirm the time I was picking my son up from school that day. I'm trying to act as responsible as possible for both of my kids. I can't afford a lawyer and I don't like seeing my child upset because I'm not seeing her enough. Like I said I'm going no contact and sticking to it for at least 30 days my life is s*** right now and seems like no way out !!!
 

eastside562

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This is day one of nc for me. I made my last attempt to get her back on my birthday and she never answer yes or no. So i acted like everything was normal and talk to Her as if nothing happen. She told me that her coworker helped her test my loyalty. I was so angry but i acted like nothing happen. So instead of cursing her ass out i decided to play it off and act like were ok. Than today im starting no contact. Im not giving her any reasons why, ima just leave high and dry.
 

Lotus Effect

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Jariel to answer your question on the other topic

Jariel said:
I've been trying to do this, thinking it will help me put my ex behind me, but every time I get close I just feel this depression come over me and I have to stop.

Just last week I was lying on top of a hot 23 year old, her t1ts were out, we were grinding against each other and I was rock hard and ready for action, but then I had to stop because I felt so miserable.

I have all these opportunities and attractive women throwing themselves at me, but I'm finding it so difficult to move on.

Did you ever feel this way during any of your encounters?
Jariel mate!

To answer your question, I'll be as sincere as I can be. I'm going to be more sincere than I am with my sister and my best friend about "moving on" from my ex. And I'm doing so, because we, you and I, are on this journey together mate, and for more time than we both expected!

Man, I am NOT over my ex!


That's it! That is it! Plain and simple... I still feel depressed, I still feel lonely, I still feel miserable, I hate every single f*cking morning, because every morning I wake, is a morning I wake to realise that this sh*t ain't a nightmare.
And most specially, I still miss the b*tch! God f*cking damn it, I miss that hore!

But, and as all speeches this one also has a but, I have conciously decided that I HAVE TO MOVE ON! I have to let it go! I have to live my own life, without her! There is no other option!!! There is no alternative!

THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS LIVE WITHOUT HER! AND LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT HER!


I feel your pain bro, because I also wanted her to come back and tell me she is sorry! Tell me that she made a mistake, and that she is deeply sorry for all the sh*t she put me through...

But guess what?! She ain't!! She is out there, living her life I don't know. I have not heard from her ever since I sent that stupid letter. The time where she answered me that her silence was not indifference, it was commotion! That was in October man. She is "emotionally silent" for almost four months now, 'cause my letter was "incredibly touching"...

... My ass! SHe is silent because there is too much c0ck on her mouth for her to speak a word!

What I'm meaning to tell you is that you still haven't decided to move on mate! You still think foundly of your ex! You want to pose as if you don't have any resentment towards her, as if you are actually not f*cking pissed that she dumped you and is now living happly(?) without you!

You say there ain't no hard feelings, because deep down, you don't want to move on, you want to keep that image of her on your mind, for if, and I refrain IF, one day she returns, you can play as if nothing happened, it is all cool, and you can have a normal conversation with her, where you will both be laughing over ice cream and you eventually lead her to bed and fullfill this IDIOTIC dream. You don't want to believe that she was in fact mean. An EVIL F*CKING PERSON! I don't know if she is into charity, or if she loves puppies, or her kids or nephews. She was F*CKING MEAN TO YOU. And that is what matters.

She is evil, and so she should f*ck herself. F*ck the universe. F*ck good vibes, and any positive energy you send when you think about her! F*ck all that...

There is hard feelings! You do resent her! You are f*cking pissed with all this cräp! F*ck her happiness mate! Embrace this sh*t! Embrace the anger man! Hate her whenever you think about her! Don't do the opposite! Don't believe she is actually good! By doing so you will never be able to move on! And I'm not saying that you will ever 100% fully move on...

...I'm saying that this will be a scar! And not the cool wicked ones! It is a nasty scar you have from that appendix surgery! You don't like it, it hurts sometimes and it will be forever there! You just deal with it because wasn't for that scar, you would have died! The appendix would have bursted, and you would die by being engulfed by a huge ammount of sh*t! More sh*t that you are able to handle!
So thankfully, all you got is this stupid scar!

But you have to move on. You have to LEARN to dislike her. And do so remebering that she was disrespectfull towards your most trully and good intentions. When you could have given anything to her!

So if and when that above time comes, when she reaches you, you know that she will in fact will poison any recovery you have done, and if you decide to answer the phone, or reply the text message, or say anything to her as you bump her in the streets it should only be:

"Thanks I'm good, kind of in a rush, have a good one!"

That is it!

I told you all that because I wish I could have that Ice Cream and then f*ck her! But IF that sh*t happens, it would only fulfill her evil f*king intention and then she would DROP OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!! AGAIN!

So yes, I miss her! But I rather walk alone. And I'm learning to walk again!

I'm not loving any of this chicks I'm banging. But I have loved none before my ex anyway. I don't need to love in order to f*ck, and so don't you!

The realisation I had by f*cking the 7th chick was:

Püssy is Püssy. They are all smelly! They are all hot! They are all wet! The 7th Püssy was not different from any of the previous Püssies,
EX Included!!

All you have to learn is to detach YOUR Happiness from YOUR EX'S PÜSSY!!

Peace Bro! :up:

EXTRA: And about not having sex for the last SIX MONTHS. That is wrong dude!
By doing so you are only solidifying the gold on your ex vagina!

The first Two girls I had sex with I had to take a Viagra 'cause I just could not do it alone. And I cried after the first one!
Commit to your self growth man! Really, go out there and Go Fück Ten Other Women!
After you GFTOWed them all, came here all post your experience mate!

It is tough, it it hard to pull it off, and you just don't wanna do it! And that is why this sh*t is a challenge...

...Because it is f*cking challenging!
 
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bateman72

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EXTRA: And about not having sex for the last SIX MONTHS. That is wrong dude!
By doing so you are only solidifying the gold on your ex vagina!

The first Two girls I had sex with I had to take a Viagra 'cause I just could not do it alone. And I cried after the first one!
Commit to your self growth man! Really, go out there and Go Fück Ten Other Women!
After you GFTOWed them all, came here all post your experience mate!

It is tough, it it hard to pull it off, and you just don't wanna do it! And that is why this sh*t is a challenge...

...Because it is f*cking challenging!
[/QUOTE]


I had to take viagra and imagine my ex in order to orgasm my first two times post breakup. Drove home crying afterwards.

A necessary low point in my road to recovery.
 

mikey2012

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Jariel said:
Well, I turned down yet another offer of sex last night. It was my second date with someone. We clicked really well, there was a lot of intense sexual chemistry and she was all over me all night, but every time she clung to me and wrapped herself around me I felt repulsed. It's so hard to explain because she's very attractive and a great person, but I just couldn't wait for an opportunity to end the date.

It was a given we were going back to her place for sex as we'd been talking about it all week in texts, but I just wanted to go home. I saw the look on her face and she hung her head as she went inside on her own and I felt so lousy.

I'd been thinking I should take this step, start banging some chicks and moving on, but whenever the offer is there I just realise that it's not something that would bring me enjoyment or comfort.

It's been 6 months since I last had sex, and that was with my ex the week before we broke up.
Dude, try and reconnect with your EX. I know it goes against the grain of what is said here...but you will never recover if you dont try...
 

Lotus Effect

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mikey2012 said:
Dude, try and reconnect with your EX. I know it goes against the grain of what is said here...but you will never recover if you dont try...
Yeah!

Do that... :up:

...And be prepared to go back to day 1 (All over again)
:down:

You know the drill mate. If she is not with anyone else at the moment she will be receptive, you will propably go out, tell you are missing each other...
Proceed to sex. Yay! Happiness...! ¬¬

And then after she got what she wants, and by that I mean You under her spell, it will be HELL all over again!
All that sh*tty behaviour that happened previously! All that crap that you know and Hate!

Of course, now she is 100% sure you are hers. You are hers for her to toy!
And so she will put you in the backburner, again! And then proceed to Live her life, again!
Knowing that whenever her ship starts sinking, you will be her life boat!

Meanwhile you will be having a sh*tty and confuse life all over again...


And that is when you get back to day 1! (Only of course, with a truckload of new sh*t to regret! Congratz!)

Anyway, if you are into instant gratification, go and do it. It has been six months now. If she is in the mood you may actually get laid!

When you are feeling worse than of how you are feeling now, don't come over here and tell people how much it hurts, and why is this happening to you Mate! Do not say you have not been warned...

You have been warned!! (And this is not the first time)

OBS: Anyway, I'm just a dude on the internet, living overseas, in another hemisphere. What the hell should I know?
You do what you want with your life! I'll just hope for the best!
 

Theodora90

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So, searching through the internet and I find this forum, I've felt obligated to join and do to NC challenge.

My story, in brief:
We met in September, I wasn't interested and it took him till October for me to agree to go on a date with him. Even after the initial date I didn't think I'd see him again - I did. We got really well, same interests, same sense of humour and he brought out an extremely affectionate side in me I never knew I had.
Christmas came, he spoilt me - I met his mother and grandmother, it was actually all going really well.
Then last week something changed - I noticed a young girl (I'm 24, she's 18), I said nothing. Then he started telling little lies.
We had planned a romantic weekend, I booked it off work, got up Saturday morning, ready and waited... And waited. She had written on his Facebook that she was waiting for him. I called him. Asked what was going on he said 'gotta pop out with the lads'.

I finally got there, we had food, went back to his - he said I wasn't myself so we spoke. I opened up to him and told him about my past relationship (which was abusive) and how I don't want to be paranoid but it wasn't fair that she thinks there is something going on between them and he wasn't telling her any different. He told me 100% there was nothing going on, he never wants to hurt me and wants to make me happy, forever.
We went to bed, I felt better. He held me all night. Next day we spent together, I get home to a message 'thank you for an amazing weekend, I miss you already'

Long story short I wake up the next day to see she's written on his Facebook 'thanks for the phone conversation last night babe' after having a nose on her profile she is certain they're together! I text him, saying I don't know what I'm to think. His reply 'babe I know this has all gone too far. We'll sort it out'

That's the last I heard.

I've gone out of my mind all week - not slept, eaten, functioned clearly at all. I'm so confused as to how it was all affection and love one minute to nothing.

I cried last night, uncontrollably for the first time. Then stopped on deleted everything to do with him, including this girl.

I guess technically today is day 1. I think somewhere I'm hoping to hear from him, if not just for an explanation as I feel I've had no closure.

It hurts so much.
 

orbion2013

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i have not posted on here for a while.... been doing okay... banging a new chick... not as attractive as my ex, but nicer body

plus the sex is waaaay out.... 3sums , 4sums the lot...

but you know what... i miss that connection & have started to feel a bit down again the last week or so...

but seriously my ex was just a crappy girlfreind on every level.... there was no good qualities about her, other than her looks and some good sex

yet is till f@cking miss her!!!! madness
 

Jariel

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Typing on phone so excuse typos, but just want to thank you guys for the input & advice. Its reassuring to know you guys still miss your exes despite getting with other chicks & can relate to what im saying.

I admit I have considered reconnecting with her like Mikey suggested but dragging up those hard feelings & falling back to day 1 is a genuine worry. I also know that I need to have moved on or at least banged some girls before im ready to face her. Im spinning plates & got more dates lined up including a couple more 23 yr olds, although they are pretty shallow & hard work to talk to. But would be ideal to lose my post breakup dry spell with. I think I also need to go for someone unlike my ex.

Next time im in that situation, ill push through the emotions & just do it! I do have some Viagra on standby but not had any probs getting it up so far. Ill keep you posted.
 

lexa

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Broke NC..

I accepted her friend request on FB, it was seriously bothering me as I was thinking about it night and day. Anyway we didn't really chat or anything. Just the odd comment and liking each other's status for the last couple of days.

The thing is yes, i do think how she could be banging another guy right this min. but then again, I don't really care nor it hurts anymore. The truth is I was just jealously of her popularity.

So NC worked in term of giving me time to think and rationalise my feelings. Basically I was friend zoned and tried to get more but sticking around and then got annoyed when I didn't, even tho I kept lying to myself I could be her friend.

At least now I know I will treat her as an acquaintance - someone I used to know. Hopefully this will be my entry in term of this as it would mean I am free from her emotionally. Peace guys
 

mikey2012

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Jariel said:
Typing on phone so excuse typos, but just want to thank you guys for the input & advice. Its reassuring to know you guys still miss your exes despite getting with other chicks & can relate to what im saying.

I admit I have considered reconnecting with her like Mikey suggested but dragging up those hard feelings & falling back to day 1 is a genuine worry. I also know that I need to have moved on or at least banged some girls before im ready to face her. Im spinning plates & got more dates lined up including a couple more 23 yr olds, although they are pretty shallow & hard work to talk to. But would be ideal to lose my post breakup dry spell with. I think I also need to go for someone unlike my ex.

Next time im in that situation, ill push through the emotions & just do it! I do have some Viagra on standby but not had any probs getting it up so far. Ill keep you posted.
Mate,
I think you feel guilty because you dumped her and went nc . It's going to be hard to convince yourself you did the right thing because you left her when she was in trouble , think if she done the Same to you
 

Jariel

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Mikey: Youre absolutely right. I feel awful about it & I still wonder what would've been if I hadn't done that. But I tried to apologise & asked her to try again & it was her who rejected me that time. I realise she's not the b1tch that other guys exes are & I brought it on myself & think her decisions are perfectly understandable. Afterall, if the roles were reversed everyone would be telling me to never give her another chance.
 

mikey2012

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Jariel said:
Mikey: Youre absolutely right. I feel awful about it & I still wonder what would've been if I hadn't done that. But I tried to apologise & asked her to try again & it was her who rejected me that time. I realise she's not the b1tch that other guys exes are & I brought it on myself & think her decisions are perfectly understandable. Afterall, if the roles were reversed everyone would be telling me to never give her another chance.
She's not going to forgive you so easy. Nor would you of she did the same
 

Jariel

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mikey2012 said:
She's not going to forgive you so easy. Nor would you of she did the same
Again, I agree with you. But I did write a long apologetic letter to her and I believe this just came across as grovelling and pathetic.

It's very hard to draw a line between apologising for a genuine mistake and kissing azz.
 

mikey2012

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I don't think all women think like that all of the time. If she really loved you then she wouldn't see you like that. I do think she got hurt when you ditched her in her time of need. I know fellow DJs will say fvck her and find another , spin plates etc but if you did connect with her and she is special out of all the chicks you have dated then I guess you would make special effort . That's how I would see it
 

Theodora90

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So I'm at the of day 2.
Feeling slightly better, I bought a book yesterday on breakups, Jesus Christ I've become that person.

I hope he's happy, with that girl that looks like a real genuine pig.

What I'm mostly annoyed at is that he got me in to Breaking Bad... And I'm mid season 3, and I can no longer watch it...
 
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