This post is to all of you guys! Please Read!
Hey Guys!!
Long time no see huh? So anyway, this is going to be a long and most likely harsh post, but I'm guessing it maybe helpfull, so cope with me!
First of all, I just want you guys to know that I'm only writing this because I've been reading the last posts on this thread, and they all seem too emotional, romantic, and very Breaking NCish...
I just want you ALL to know, that this is a BAD idea.
On with the post.
I'm not sure where to start, so, as always, I'll use my story as example. I guess I can say that I'm in the acceptance phase now. I can't say I have moved on, but I'm doing really well without her, and I'm catching myself thinking about her far less than before... Hell, sometimes, I even think to myself
"Holy sh*t, I haven't thought about her today!" 
If you don't know me, or you don't recall my backstory, she dumped me 8 months ago. We tried for another month, until I found out she was cheating on me 6 1/2 months ago, and
I dont talk to her for almost 4 months now.
So what I can tell you is, it takes a long while for you to heal. But it all begins with you. It comes from inside of you. It
DOES matter what you do. My healing process only begun when I've cutted contact with her 4 months ago, quited my dead end job, got back "in the field" and joined a gym!
If you keep looking at old pictures, keep snooping her Facebook profile, keep reading old letters, and keep all the material things she gave you, you will not move on. You will be stuck, forever loving the "One who got away"
Seriously.
I did a lot of stupid sh*t to get back together with her. I tried to arrange coffee dates, I've planed text messages and phone calls, I lied about job interviews I had to get her excited about the new me, I had a notebook with getting back progress, bought online programs... anyway, loads of bullsh*t that I don't recomend anyone on doing.
(The only thing I haven't done was begging, but at that point, it was almost the same thing!)
But I have only done that sh*t for 2 months. And then I decided moving on, never to see or speak to her again. And yeah, she was a cold heartless b*cth, but I don't see her as my enemy. I just cut all
(and when I say all, I mean I burned down every gift, every letter, every plan, every photo all) contact, because is the only way to get better.
TO MOVE ON!
And I can, 100% sure, tell you. Being dumped, cheated on, and heartbroken, was, without a doubt,
THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPENED IN MY LIFE!
Now, you may ask, but didn't you loved her?
Do you really enjoy being single, without her in your life?
Well, I did loved her.
Sadly, in fact, I kind of still love her. But the girl I love, is a girl that is in the past, and I, like all of us, don't live in the past. I know now, that if I got back together with her, I would be loving a ghost of that girl.
She can never be again who she once was.
And in fact, I did still would be like to be with her. I don't like being single. I would much more rather be with her right now watching an HBO sunday movie eating cheese popcorn than be writing this text down.
But I'm not...
She selfishly decided that things were not working out, and I can only do what a real man can do.
Which is accept it.
Do you think I wanted to have hooked up with 60+ chicks?
Do you think I wanted to have to worry every night about pulling out a new chick?
Do you think I wanted to have a threesome with 2 random chicks?
That I wanted to have 2 chicks that I can make out with anytime, in the same room?
That I wanted to hit the gym?
To have abandoned my family business because I was not very found of it?
That I have to worry about what I eat? What I say to people? To "game" again?
That I wanted to do meditation?
That I wanted to be seen by other people as a relationship guru?
MY ASS!! I did not wanted any of this...
All I wanted was to be with her. That all this breakup phase was just a bad dream, and that I would wake up tomorrow with her in my arms.
But I'm not. And this is life!
But let's put things in perspective.
In one side, I have
personnal growth, social development, body health...
And on the other side
I only have ego validation...
Think about
what is more valuable??
And that is why I say that the breakup was the best sh*t that ever happened to me.
Because I improved. Because I grew up! I was nothing but a boy, who wanted to live in confort, and being dumped forcefully got me out there, to take control of my life. To grow a pair!
And NO. It is not an easy feat! It is HARD AS F*CK!
But each day you don't talk
to her is a day you are learning to move on. Each day you don't talk
about her, is a day you are moving on. God damn it, each day, you don't log onto
THIS WEBSITE to visit this No Contact challenge thread, is a day you are learning to forget about her.
(In fact, this is an excellent thing to do. Take a break from SoSuave, because, logging in here, is a constant reminder of being dumped, of bitterness, of No Contact itself. Have I not logged here today, I would have totally forgoten that I'm "no contact". I would have thought of this day as just another regular day!)
So, to all of you wanting to give in, to call her, email her, answer her text, whatever.
Do not do it. I've done once, and all that it does is
bring you back to day 1.
Yes,
numero uno amigo! And a sh*tstorm follows that!
And I can tell you all. These days, have not been the very best of my life. I'm current Jobless, broke and afraid of looking into my bank account 'cause sh*t must be awful down there, and even that I have made out with two chicks last friday, I'm in a 3 weeks sex dry spell right now
(and I've broken a rib).
To top all that, my Ex name is not a very usual name here in Brazil. In fact, before meting her, I have never met or heard about a chick with the same name as her.
There are few Claras here in Brazil, seriously.
Now guess what?
That TV show, Big Brother. Guess what is the name of the slutiest chick in the house, that even have porn sites on the web...?
Yup, it is Clara.
And the new Prime Time Soap Opera, which is a HUGE thing here in Brazil. Guess what is the protagonist is name??
Of course, it is f*cking Clara as well.
And to top that, the f*cking plot is about her being in a relationship with a dude that loves her so much, and
she, on the other hand, is feeling unsure about her feelings so now she is cheating on him! Yay! :cheer:
Now, I'm going to have to hear this f*cking name now for the whole year
(Since Big Brother is 3 months long, and the Soap opera something around 8 months)
So yeah! Things are not all that great for me!
But once again, this is life. There is nothing I could do about it, unless moving on with my life. Keep looking for a job. Hitting the gym, and the chicks. Reading great books and learning new sh*t! And that is it! Period.
You may still love her, or you don't. You may be finding that letting go and forgeting about her is way too difficult...
I'm sorry to tell you dude.
It is! When you start to forget about her, life kicks in, and put her name in a f*cking soap opera for the whole next year!
It is not easy, and life won't make it easy on you mate!
With this, and with any other thing in your life!
And that is what makes breaking up (being dumped) the best sh*t that can ever happen in your life.
Because
it is a tough challenge you WILL have to overcome. It is a hard feat!!!!
It's like being cripple and swimming across the english channel. It's like being a white dude in the NBA and getting a MVP.
It is a beaten up you, and your wounded ego, against that urge to pickup the phone and "just call", or text, or walk by her house. Whatever!
Shut the f*ck up. Straighten your head.
Pick yourself up, and KNOCK THAT B*TCH OF AN URGE DOWN!
You will rise anew.
You will grow strong.
You will never be in this postion again.
You will be experienced.
You will be though...
...You will thank me later!
Peace guys!
