The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cali-83]

Hey I think you might be playing a dangerous game here for your sake. I wouldn't meet up with her when she contacts you.

You have to go dark and not respond to any of her texts. Take her number out of your phone and start NC right away. You need to do this for you and no one else. You need to give her time to miss you in her life.

In the meantime go better yourself so when of if you ever meet up again she can see how strong you are. Good luck start NC.

 

[Lotus Effect]

NC Challenge - Day 1

Hey I think you might be playing a dangerous game here for your sake. I wouldn't meet up with her when she contacts you.

You have to go dark and not respond to any of her texts. Take her number out of your phone and start NC right away. You need to do this for you and no one else. You need to give her time to miss you in her life.

In the meantime go better yourself so when of if you ever meet up again she can see how strong you are. Good luck start NC.

Thanks for the heads up man! And as I said, I'm not going to the coffee date! And going NC is what I've meant when I said:
"I'll give her the same treatment she gave me this last 4 months. The cold hand of indiference. Not an a**hole, not a prick... Just nothing at all!"

I'll do exactly as she did to me. Nothing!

And Jariel, your first post in this page should become a Thread of it's on!

Take some time each day to grieve...
Stop Romanticizing the Relationship and Think Realistically...
EFT and PSTEC...
Watch the Movie "Swingers" with John Favreau and Vince Vaughn...
Reflect on the Lessons you have learned from your break up...

Really, do it. Or these wise words will be lost real soon...

Thanks Guys!

 

[Blazing]

So for what ever reason never stopped following my ex on twitter. It wasn't a bad breakup. We were just planning on moving to different places after college for school so I just didn't. Lately she's tweeted a couple of times about breaking her phone and losing her number. Idk if she's subtly trying to get my attention since she no longer has my number or what. But so far so good on NC feeling a great sense of freedom right now

 

[Cali-83]

Good thing happened

So only in my second day after the breakup I was feeling really low. Mainly because I won an all expensive paid sales trip to Mexico and on Friday I have to summit who's going with me. My ex was going to go but since we spilt on Monday I figured I'd be going alone, which would suck. Out of the blue an old crush reached out to me ask how I was doing and we should catch up, I haven't seen her in 2 years.

I was thought what do I got to lose I'm at an all time low anyway. I hit her up told her my situation asked if she wanted to go. She was super excited and said for sure. Sweet! Made my day and I felt a huge wait lifted off of me. I'm still alive!

I obviously would still like to be with my ex but you know what screw it life marches on and she obviously didn't want to spend her time with me. Icing on the cake I went for a run and ran into my Ed's sister after I was done and dripping in sweat. Just smiled said hi and went up to my place no sign of weakness from me. I'm sure girls will talk and she'll let her know I'm not walking around like a big loser.

Mexico in November going to get in the best shape of my life continue on this forum with all you great guys. I'm sure I'll still be hurting for sometime but each day I keep in NC I'm going to get stronger that's for the support and on to day 3 for me.

 

[Cali-83]

My apologies you're right just wanted to give you some support to sick with it. Good luck buddy stay strong.

 

[sttpes]

Day 1

i asked for advice a few days back, i had this girl, long story short she was into me we had sex a few times no attachment by my side, she found someone, i didnt care, i start caring, i started to try get her back, kino, convos, no dates, no money involved, just her vs my charisma, only got to kiss her didnt had the end i wanted, no sex in about 8 months, no plates spin, i told her i didnt care anymore and i have to move on and do stuff, i saw her profile picture with her boyfriend kissing, she told me that day she loved me and need me, i guess i like to see her pictures with him so it keeps me in the ground you know REAL LIFE SITUATIONS, time to man up **** happens, i tried to go no contact for abouth 2 months but she didnt let me, she was still hitting on ex boyfriends and kinda making me suffer, now its been 1 day no contact thank god, i stayed by her side because i really treated her like sh1t before and felt i deserved anything that she put me through thats it i paid and polite say i was leaving, i learned, im not afraid and im going to heal, im worth it.


thanks to everyone here, this forum really changed the way i live and think and the things i already learned by myself got improved.

good luck to all of the NC in progress, stay strong.

 

[soulforge]

having a really hard time of it tonight.... i was doing really well for the past few weeks & since the ex came to my place, and left my things outside...

the emotions have come flooding back again... i know deep inside she is no good for me in a relationship

yet i,m still having silly thoughts about how i could have made the relationship work out, if i had done this better or that better

i keep overlooking the fact, nothing can work with her, because she is a disrespectful & selfish person

i really really need to get my sh@t together & start considering myself lucky, for eventually getting away from her

guess i,m just feleing lonley tonight, which makes me miss her

 

[adam225]

having a really hard time of it tonight.... i was doing really well for the past few weeks & since the ex came to my place, and left my things outside...

the emotions have come flooding back again... i know deep inside she is no good for me in a relationship

yet i,m still having silly thoughts about how i could have made the relationship work out, if i had done this better or that better

i keep overlooking the fact, nothing can work with her, because she is a disrespectful & selfish person

i really really need to get my sh@t together & start considering myself lucky, for eventually getting away from her

guess i,m just feleing lonley tonight, which makes me miss her

She most likely wanted to get you to feel like this. What she really wanted though was you to confront her whilst you are like this. It would make her feel great to see you in this state and that she has hold of you still....

This is why NC is ESSENTIAL. It allows you to break away and move on. This way you're not being pulled back to her on a piece of string when ever she feels she wants to mess your head up. At least you know by NOT responding to her YOU ARE HURTING HER. Women and attention go hand in hand, if she isn't getting any, she feels as though there is a HUGE hole in her... haha... there all so f*cked up...

 

[Cali-83]

having a really hard time of it tonight.... i was doing really well for the past few weeks & since the ex came to my place, and left my things outside...

the emotions have come flooding back again... i know deep inside she is no good for me in a relationship

yet i,m still having silly thoughts about how i could have made the relationship work out, if i had done this better or that better

i keep overlooking the fact, nothing can work with her, because she is a disrespectful & selfish person

i really really need to get my sh@t together & start considering myself lucky, for eventually getting away from her

guess i,m just feleing lonley tonight, which makes me miss her

I know how you feel man I'm with you keep posting how you feel it will help.

I'm on day 3 even though I had a good thing happen yesterday. I can stop thinking about her. What's worse is she lives right underneath me. I hate it.

I'm freaking out I really miss spending time together and just wondering what she is thinking. I got to stay strong.

What do I do when we run into each other it's bound to happen?

 

[soulforge]

She most likely wanted to get you to feel like this. What she really wanted though was you to confront her whilst you are like this. It would make her feel great to see you in this state and that she has hold of you still....

This is why NC is ESSENTIAL. It allows you to break away and move on. This way you're not being pulled back to her on a piece of string when ever she feels she wants to mess your head up. At least you know by NOT responding to her YOU ARE HURTING HER. Women and attention go hand in hand, if she isn't getting any, she feels as though there is a HUGE hole in her... haha... there all so f*cked up...

well it has been nearly a month now, since i walked away.... in that month she has heard nothing from me, not a word... i intend to keep it that way!

if i try to think logicaly about her, without emotion... i realize how f@cked up this relationship was!

 

[soulforge]

my plan is to stay in complete no contact, till this b@tches poison has left me!

then i will be a free happy man again... and a wiser stronger man!

i believe this relationship was meant to happen... so i can learn a big lesson from it... so i can carry on with my life & find some happiness & avoid some of the mistakes i have made in the past.

"Beauty is a curse on this world... as it keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are"

 

[soulforge]

I know how you feel man I'm with you keep posting how you feel it will help.

I'm on day 3 even though I had a good thing happen yesterday. I can stop thinking about her. What's worse is she lives right underneath me. I hate it.

I'm freaking out I really miss spending time together and just wondering what she is thinking. I got to stay strong.

What do I do when we run into each other it's bound to happen?

really cali, i would not be able to cope if my ex lived underneath me... sh@t i would be ready to move lol

mate you just have to do your best avoid seeing her... try to leave your apartment at a time, when your less likley to bump into her

i know thismust be very hard for you, with her bieng so close..

atleast with my ex, she is nearly an hours drive away, and not likely to bump into her anythime soon

 

[Cali-83]

really cali, i would not be able to cope if my ex lived underneath me... sh@t i would be ready to move lol

mate you just have to do your best avoid seeing her... try to leave your apartment at a time, when your less likley to bump into her

i know thismust be very hard for you, with her bieng so close..

atleast with my ex, she is nearly an hours drive away, and not likely to bump into her anythime soon

I'm having really bad anxiety about it. All we did was have a great time started to build a great relationship. Then when we get really close she started to get worried because she said we moved really fast.

She says she really likes me but thinks she needs space because she just moved back not too long ago and is trying to figure her stuff out and it's not fair to involve anyone when she doesn't know what she wants.

It really hurts because I never put myself out there I know she likes me and we had an awesome relationship. I thought I found the one. I don't know what to do I don't know if she thinks about me too it's killing me. I didn't freak out during the talk she looked really stressed. I feel bad because we both care for each other and we aren't going to talk anymore. I really want her in my life.

 

[Renegade357]

Once you get to day 60 you sorta forget what it's like to be close to her. Holding her and all that. When I think of my ex now I sorta get sick to my stomach. But it's a different kind of sick then it was when I was hurt from the breakup. There's still a void but the thought of her filling it again seems strange and disturbing..

Last night I had a nightmare about me going to her place to get my things. When I was there I saw all of her new boyfriends things. His clothes, his personal items. I wanted to yell at her right there for putting me in that situation. It hurt so bad. I tried to text her but I couldn't get her number up properly. Everything was blury. I started taking his things and throwing them out the window. I woke up in a cold sweat with a wtf feeling and felt horrible and relieved at the same time that it wasn't real.

LOL these women really do infest our brains don't they?? I feel like I'm fighting off delirium from heroin withdrawals or something.

Such BS.

 

[soulforge]

you know what... the thought of her with another man, bothers me some what... but not too much

she is a sl@t... this is what a sl@ts does!!!

what bothers me the most & the hardest thing i am finding to deal with is this..

regret!

regret for putting up with her crap!

regret for not dumping her alot sooner!

regret for trying to make a relationship work, that was not even right for me in the first place!

regret for taking crap from a f@cking woman!

regret for ignoring all the red flags!

if i could deal with the regret, i would get over her sooner...

 

[sttpes]

Day 2

she send me an e-mail saying that its hard being without me around, that she gets depressed and that she loves me, she said this is killing her and that she cant stand me, but still adores me, i was going to reply on a moment of weakness then i remembered its not my job being there, this is going to be a long night. this is the only thing i can think about MOVE FVCKING FORWARD. you can do this.

 

[Stort_Brød]

day 3 dropped the last thing of hers off to her along with a note on her doorstep when i was driving to work at 3am lol... feel like sh!t because I don't know how she feels about everything and of course the thought of her with another man is making me really angry. buuuuut it is friday and i have 3 dates lined up for the long weekend, so oh well life goes on.

 

[Jariel]

Day 33:

I've been doing ok, but lately I've snapped out of my victim mentality and I've been seeing the circumstances behind my break up more clearly, including my own selfish behaviour and my contribution to it.

Various people I've spoken to about it lately believe I am largely to blame and can see that I must've really hurt her and let her down, in which case her cold behaviour and retaliation is completely justifiable.

Unfortunately, this has now left me feeling guilty and has set me back again. I keep thinking how coldly I ended things and how hurtful our last contact had been. I keep wanting to reach out to her but I worry I'll just get another cold response and that breaking no contact is going to throw my recovery all the way back to square one.

I had a dream about her last night where I tried to discuss things and clear the air, but she refused to speak to me and told me she didn't really care that much anyway. I've woken up in such a low state.

 

[soulforge]

Day 33:

I've been doing ok, but lately I've snapped out of my victim mentality and I've been seeing the circumstances behind my break up more clearly, including my own selfish behaviour and my contribution to it.

Various people I've spoken to about it lately believe I am largely to blame and can see that I must've really hurt her and let her down, in which case her cold behaviour and retaliation is completely justifiable.

Unfortunately, this has now left me feeling guilty and has set me back again. I keep thinking how coldly I ended things and how hurtful our last contact had been. I keep wanting to reach out to her but I worry I'll just get another cold response and that breaking no contact is going to throw my recovery all the way back to square one.

I had a dream about her last night where I tried to discuss things and clear the air, but she refused to speak to me and told me she didn't really care that much anyway. I've woken up in such a low state.

jariel reaching out to her, could result in more misery & pain for you... i know how hard this is for you mate...

if you truley believe you was also at fault, then maybe leave it for now & wait till she contacts you... or deal with it, when you are a feeling a little stronger... you are in a weak emotional state right now

you did what you had to do at that time, you followed your gut instinct & felt like you had to end it... your gut is usualy right about these things...

i guess you have to ask yourself, did you really have a future with this woman!


i too question myself about wether i did the right thing by dumping her? and everyone i know, believes not only did i do the right thing, but i should have dumped her much much sooner..

i can also see where i could have handled things a little better in my relationship too... who is perfect

but the question is.. is she looking back at our relationship & thinking hey, what could i have done better? hell no she isn't.... woman like this do not give a f@ck about how they treat others... it is all about them & there sense of entitlemant


but serioulsy i loved her & never took advantage of her & all i wanted was us to get along & not argue... where as she did her best to manipulate me, treat me like crap & try to get control over me..

it was all about control to her....

i am really struggling with my emotions... i feel such deep regret, for putting up with this sl@t

how do i deal with anger & regret? it seems to be consuming me!

i am losing sleep over it...

 

[soulforge]

when i dumped my ex (face to face) i was also very harsh to her & said some hurtful things to her.

but the truth is.. the things i said to her, was pretty much the truth... i had all this hurt, anger & resentment inside me towards her, for the way she treated me & it all came out at once

i could not help it... even tho it hurt her ego in a massive way, to the point where she resorted to looking for another man pretty much straight away.