The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Faldero456]

8 days no contact.

I am surprised that more than a week has gone by with no contact, after 7+ years of almost daily contact. I admit I miss that. I miss her. I do think of her and us. It is happening less and less. I can go hours without think of her. Then some trigger will hit the back of my mind and she is right in the centre of my thoughts.

But there is no possible reconciliation. (See the above post)

I am feeling low because I got played. I felt something was funky, I just couldn’t figure it out.

I know she won’t contact me anymore. I think the chance meeting with our mutual friend was little bit of a set up. She wanted me to know about her new situation.

I need the discipline of the no contact rule so I won’t stalk on FB, drunk dial her at 2 in the morning or send angry texts. Also, the discipline to push her out of my thoughts when she does pop up.

Faldero456

 

[UnCreativeUsername]

8 days no contact.

I am surprised that more than a week has gone by with no contact, after 7+ years of almost daily contact. I admit I miss that. I miss her. I do think of her and us. It is happening less and less. I can go hours without think of her. Then some trigger will hit the back of my mind and she is right in the centre of my thoughts.

But there is no possible reconciliation. (See the above post)

I am feeling low because I got played. I felt something was funky, I just couldn’t figure it out.

I know she won’t contact me anymore. I think the chance meeting with our mutual friend was little bit of a set up. She wanted me to know about her new situation.

I need the discipline of the no contact rule so I won’t stalk on FB, drunk dial her at 2 in the morning or send angry texts. Also, the discipline to push her out of my thoughts when she does pop up.

Faldero456

I think there is no chance of reconciliation right now my friend, thats for sure.

My ex did a similiar thing, although in all fairness she gave me a lot of opportunity to be with her properly, but I just wanted to have my cake and eat it.

As she said to me "what did you think I was going to do, just wait around to see if you changed your mind about getting back with me?". I dont blame her for what she did, I pushed her away.

Let her do her thing with this new guy and carry on with the No Contact. I am on day 16 today and like I said, I still wake up every day thinking of her.

My ex wont even talk to me, she said it was too raw to speak to me at the moment.

I have actually met someone else, well two people actually, but I have been 100% honest with them both, told them I am not looking for anything serious at all and want to just be friends....it helps a little but I have to admit if one of them set my world alight, I think I would forget about my ex.....I hate my brain! lol.

 

[Faldero456]

A quick rant here. Pissed off right now.

She got the chance to get through her break up (with me) by getting emotional, physical support from her best friend. (me)

Now she is happily enjoying all that comes with the new beau.

I am stuck here crying in my beer.

I'm such a chump.

 

[UnCreativeUsername]

A quick rant here. Pissed off right now.

She got the chance to get through her break up (with me) by getting emotional, physical support from her best friend. (me)

Now she is happily enjoying all that comes with the new beau.

I am stuck here crying in my beer.

I'm such a chump.

Dude, stop this. You are not a chump. Yeah, she may be happily enjoying her new time with this guy or appear to be to you, but that doesnt mean anything to what YOU need to do.

A couple of posts before you were saying you didnt want her back in your life...now you are upset because she is happy with someone else? Your emotions are everywhere pal and trust me, anything you say to her right now will not work.

Get this, my ex's birthday is in late September and I have written a text I want to send her already.....thats not normal lol, thats why I KNOW I ncant contact her right now, because I am still an emotional mess.

I think about her all the time, non-stop. But, I am now at the stage where I am getting my jobs in life done, whereas 2 weeks ago, I was a sobbing mess.

You need to talk to your friends about this. If you cant, try family. If not, go an get some therapy man. You need an outlet for this **** because its not healthy.

It wont be easy, but at least if you do not contact her, you cant say anything stupid.

Heres a link on another site that I found yesterday, its really helping knowing how many people are going through what we are right now.

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114352

8 days bro, be proud of yourself!

Your pal, Uncreative.

 

[UnCreativeUsername]

I am stuck here crying in my beer.

Thats another thing, you need to stay away from the booze when you're alone.

That aint gonna help nothing!

 

[Faldero456]

Thats another thing, you need to stay away from the booze when you're alone.

That aint gonna help nothing!

I was speaking metaphorically. lol.

Yes, I know I shouldn’t care about her one way or another. I am using here as my therapy. I post here to get things off my chest. It helps a lot to have a guys answer and perspectives.

If you think I am mess now. You wouldn’t have wanted to see me before I found this place.

If you think I need a good swift kick in the ass to get out of my funk, please send it.

All’s good. I didn’t try to contact her. I posted here.



Faldero456

 

[Faldero456]

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114352

Good info. Thanks

Faldeo456

 

[henrea4]

The hardest part of this for me isn't not contacting her, it's knowing that she could contact me any time she wants, but simply chooses not to. I guess if this goes on for the entire 60 days I'll have no choice but to snap out of this delusional state that I've been in for the past 4 months. I just can't believe this is the same woman who, when I went out of town for a week a few years back, called me every day crying and begging me to come back home. Now she doesn't even want to talk to me via text message.

Day 9 here, btw. I promise I won't post every day. lol

 

[mkj1990]

Just deleted her from Facebook. Have this weird feeling. It hurts, but was kind of good at the same time. Like a new start, with the opportunity to look forward.

This NC-thing was a lot easier before I found out she jumped right into bed with another dude. Tried to blame it on me, because she tought that I made her sound like a girl who sleeps around. She got mad, and her answer was ****ing another guy, and then telling it right to my face... Ignorance is bliss. She did cry though when she told me though. Clearly in regret.

Did one week easy before she told me. Struggling like hell now.

 

[Faldero456]

Just deleted her from Facebook. Have this weird feeling. It hurts, but was kind of good at the same time. Like a new start, with the opportunity to look forward.

This NC-thing was a lot easier before I found out she jumped right into bed with another dude. Tried to blame it on me, because she tought that I made her sound like a girl who sleeps around. She got mad, and her answer was ****ing another guy, and then telling it right to my face... Ignorance is bliss. She did cry though when she told me though. Clearly in regret.

Did one week easy before she told me. Struggling like hell now.

Mkj,

That is a good start to block her on FB. Remember to remove mutual friends or family from your feed too. That way there is no way to inadvertently see some picture or update about her that someone else posts. I don’t think that breaks the NC rule. You weren’t actively looking for some contact. But it’s still a kick in the gut when you see that. I know how it feels, that happened to me.

She wants to see if she still has you buy the short and curlies by telling you she’s “ ****ing another guy” She want to see you jump. Emotional black mail.

You have broken up. You shouldn’t care, one way or the other, what she is doing.

Keep up the NC. You’ve done a week. Good on ya!

If I asked you, a week ago, if you could survive a day without contact. You probably say NO. We’ll, you’ve done a week. That is great.

Faldero456

 

[Faldero456]

Day 9 of no contact.

Damned this is a roller coaster!!!

I am past crying if I think of her. I can go hours without a thought of her. Then bam. Some sound, a scent, a laugh will make me think of her and she'll be front and center again. No longer teary eyed if I think of her, just a melancholy.

I saw a FB post today that made me laugh. I will keep this one on my page for a while

“Hey, remember that person you thought you couldn't live without?
Well look at you, living and ***t.”

Faldero456

 

[masseh93]

Day 14

It has been a month + since we've broken up and I only started NC 14 days ago.
Well it has been 14 days since we last contacted, but within that 14 days a lot of **** happened as well. A friend of mine told her something I told him and she got really pissed, thank god another mutual friend helped me and told her the reason and apologized on my behalf. Besides that, I thought I'd follow her back on twitter to see if I had any feelings left for her, but she got it via notification that I'm following her, so she unfollowed me since.

So yeah going NC.

 

[henrea4]

Day 12.

Reality is slowly starting to rear its ugly head. I will probably go the entire 60 days without hearing a peep from her. This is what she wanted...has for a long time. We probably would have stopped communicating with each other months ago if I had ceased pursuing her. It feels less like there's "unfinished business" between us and more like we've reached the end. It sucks and I want nothing more than for her to come back, but it is what it is.

Taking a step toward bettering myself a bit....joined a gym. Had my first workout today. I don't like exercising...I'm a lazy bum, but I actually had fun. Gonna go back tomorrow....try to make it a habit to go at least 4 times a week.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Day 30 since split.

I failed and contacted on day 15, kind of felt relief that the crazy bat didn't respond but wish I didn't contact. Back to square 1. I just need to ignore the calendar and not care how long it's been. I just want the broad outta my head. The key that is helping me is reminding myself to not care how they are, cause they don't give an F! Even if they where bawling their eyes out I love you blah blah....nothing but BS & tears for themselves. Fellas when you get a gut feeling(intuition) that something is not right with your woman don't ignore it like I did. If they have more baggage then you don't get involved man up & walk away for your own sanity.

Victim of a rebound relationship, my first older woman and probably not my last. This is nothing compared to my divorce pain but it still sucks.

 

[Faldero456]

10 days of No Contact.

It was a tough day today. After a few days of feeling better, thinking and doing other things. Something slammed me in the guts and I felt ****ty all day.

I was walking around on my lunch break, listening to the radio on my phone. An ad came on for an up coming concert. I didn't pay much attention to the ad. But the ad played a 3 word phrase from one of the hit songs of the group. That song has a big connection for me to her. Not "our" song, but one that I connect to her. It really threw me for a loop. Felt like I had been thrown back a month and felt raw emotion again.

Took me the rest of the day to get back to a tranquil place.

I have been working real hard to avoid any triggers. I read that it will happen. I didn't think it would hit me that hard, but it did.

Positive for the day? I didn't try to contact her. Tempted, but didn't send any texts or messages.

Pat on the back to me.

10 down, 50 to go.


Faldero456

 

[masseh93]

Day 15 of no contact.

I just want to move on, although I still cant face her and I think I wont be able to see her with another guy and feel nothing, if she has one.
She's pretty and guys chase her, but i will stay strong..

 

[bird_is_the_word]

Well my story is like everyone else's me and my ex was together for 7 months everything was going amazing she was always talking about marrying me, having kids and getting a house together. We were always laughing and joking, the only thing that put a wedge between us was her best friend didnt like me because she got really jealous thinking i was taking my ex away from which wasnt the case. We all went out and me and her best friend had a argument so they didnt speak for 2 months. So to move forward a bit 2 weeks ago i was at her house for the weekend and everything was great she was saying how much she loved me and talking about our future and even asked when a family holiday was booked so she could get the time off work and the holiday isnt for a year. So i went home on the sunday and we kept in contact with texts and also on the monday morning, then about 7 oclock at night she text saying she wasnt happy she loved me but she wasnt in love with me, my world just crumbled and to do it over text too. She never responded to any of my texts or calls in the first few days she also blocked me straight away on facebook, but looking on my mates fb at her profile she is now best friends with her mate that didnt like me. I text her on the 12th of this month saying she wont hear from me again and what she did to me was horrible and hopes she finds someone like me that did as much for her and i havent been in contact since and neither has she.

So its been 5 days of NC and im feeling alot better im exercising again doing stuff that ive always wanted to do, i still miss her but its her loss.

 

[henrea4]

Well my story is like everyone else's me and my ex was together for 7 months everything was going amazing she was always talking about marrying me, having kids and getting a house together. We were always laughing and joking, the only thing that put a wedge between us was her best friend didnt like me because she got really jealous thinking i was taking my ex away from which wasnt the case. We all went out and me and her best friend had a argument so they didnt speak for 2 months. So to move forward a bit 2 weeks ago i was at her house for the weekend and everything was great she was saying how much she loved me and talking about our future and even asked when a family holiday was booked so she could get the time off work and the holiday isnt for a year. So i went home on the sunday and we kept in contact with texts and also on the monday morning, then about 7 oclock at night she text saying she wasnt happy she loved me but she wasnt in love with me, my world just crumbled and to do it over text too. She never responded to any of my texts or calls in the first few days she also blocked me straight away on facebook, but looking on my mates fb at her profile she is now best friends with her mate that didnt like me. I text her on the 12th of this month saying she wont hear from me again and what she did to me was horrible and hopes she finds someone like me that did as much for her and i havent been in contact since and neither has she.

So its been 5 days of NC and im feeling alot better im exercising again doing stuff that ive always wanted to do, i still miss her but its her loss.

Pretty much sounds like she chose her friend over you. That's some bullsh**, man. Well, at least you've got the right attitude. It is her loss!

I love going to the gym (it's only my second day, but hey...) I'm concentrating so much on keeping up with all the buff studs in the place that I don't even have time to think about my ex wife. I noticed that when I left after my session today. I didn't think about her at all until I was walking to my car. Maybe there is something to that advice I read everywhere about getting over an ex after all...
...plus, every woman in that place looked like someone I could have sweet, passionate love with. Lots of grunting and sweating....those chicks really look like they can go. If I can get my flabby butt into shape, maybe I can have one of those in my collection....it'd definitely be a step up from my ex wife (I love her dearly, but she definitely wasn't "fit"....then again, neither am I)

 

[mkj1990]

Mkj,

That is a good start to block her on FB. Remember to remove mutual friends or family from your feed too. That way there is no way to inadvertently see some picture or update about her that someone else posts. I don’t think that breaks the NC rule. You weren’t actively looking for some contact. But it’s still a kick in the gut when you see that. I know how it feels, that happened to me.

She wants to see if she still has you buy the short and curlies by telling you she’s “ ****ing another guy” She want to see you jump. Emotional black mail.

You have broken up. You shouldn’t care, one way or the other, what she is doing.

Keep up the NC. You’ve done a week. Good on ya!

If I asked you, a week ago, if you could survive a day without contact. You probably say NO. We’ll, you’ve done a week. That is great.

Faldero456

Thanks mate!

I did however break NC after a week, after she contacted me...

Day 4, and the easiest one so far. Keeping busy with work, friends and family. Did something I haven't done in a long time yesterday: Took my little brother to the movies! It was great, and we had a good laugh.

Still thinks a lot about her, but getting further and further away from the idea of contacting her. Tried to put it all into perspective, and my conclution was pretty much that though we had some awesome moments, it's been more of a struggle and a burder to be with her. Try to tell my self that I don't want to be with a person that I enjoy 20 % of the time with, while the remaining 80 is like a roller coaster of fighting. But still, the tought that we still can make it work is in the back of my head. Trying to get rid of it, but it's hard as ****. "What if it works if you just give it one more try!" That thought makes it hard for me to let let her go completely. Anyone else struggeling with that?

 

[henrea4]

You're lucky (?) that you have so many bad memories of your ex. I hardly have any. That's what's making it so hard to not contact her. I just couldn't understand how she could be so unhappy. About 3 years into our marriage, she almost got fired from her job because she was staying home every day with me (I had a job where I only worked Fri, Sat and Sunday...I was off the other 4 days unless I signed up for OT) She was my best friend. Yeah, she did some sh** that annoyed me, but nobody is perfect. Apparently, just about everything I did annoyed her after a while. That's why she divorced me.

Tomorrow marks two weeks for me. Like I said before, the hard part isn't contacting her, it's dealing with the fact that she isn't trying to contact me. Every day it gets just a little bit easier to take, though.