The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[mbgeezle]

Day 5

She texts me saying. 'How r u' ? Should I reply or will this show weakness and is she trying to mess with me? I don't get it.

 

[Zion]

Most will tell you no.

As far as I'm concerned , reply or don't , doesn't matter as long as you're strong enough to control yourself from doing something you'll hate yourself for doing tomorrow.

 

[Geez_lovely]

I honestly haven't slept in 2 days, I cant stop thinking about it. I feel like a dying dog.
SO this is exactly why I am here, I want and need to start my no contact for good. This has been lingering for long enough, I should have let him go long ago and Im sick of the games. BUT its easier said than done. I need some tips and some advice and feedback from whoever reads this comment.

I think he is playing games to keep you in limbo. Its like he doesnt know what he wants but he doesnt want to let you go completley because you will eventually meet someone else. I just went thru this and it isnt cool, all these games are gonna drive you crazy. Just do the NC for at least 60 days to get your mind right. If you see him at a bar, tell your girls lets go somewhere else- yes its that serious. You have to take some control becuase your gonna keep getting the mind games.

 

[Callah]

hey i think it is around 2 week for me.
before today everything was very fine, i think two things might have changed it. one ive been texting this girl, just getting to know her and that might have stopped so im not as distracted. 2 i friend mentioned something she did. no big deal. when she did i played it cool let her finish then changed the subject.

this sucks though, its different to accept that its over and its different to accept that the person really doesnt care about you anymore. i dont see how its possible and how it happened. but it is what it is.

oh well. this is life.

 

[mbgeezle]

Well I replied. Just said do not contact me unless it's about reconciliation. I don't need small talk about how I am. I'm feeling great and moving on. Just respect my wishes. I received no reply so that makes me feel good and not bad so that's something? I don't feel any want or need. That was just laying my cards on the table so she knows now I'm not being dropped in the friend zone. I feel this has helped me even further in my efforts to move on. I feel kind of liberated.

 

[Geez_lovely]

He text me

So at 11:52 he text me "Dam that's how you feel I couldn't get a happy birthday today..."- How dare he ask that after all the games he played. Im so glad I started the NC he is a jerk. I text him back this morning "i didn't want to be called crazy again, Happy Birthday hope you enjoyed it" - end. Now back to NC because he is fishing for an ego boost and he not getting it from me.:nono:

 

[expos]

Day 68 since I last saw my ex-wife in person. Day 52 since written correspondence.

I feel really different today. Happier. Thinking a bit clearer. I'm starting a new workout plan soon and I'm motivated to put on some weight and get ripped.

The love for her is still there, but I'm noticing more indifference now when I begin to think about her.

I thinking I'm getting to the point where I'm almost comfortable emailing her and asking about seeing our dog who I haven't seen since last fall. I don't care about whatever guy she is supposedly seeing, I don't care what she does on her weekends, I'm beginning to detach. Whatever she says to me now will simply roll of my back.

The problem, I don't know where she is at mentally. She was quite the ***** back in March....don't know if she's changed since then. BPD's really do paint people black!

I had to email one of her friends the other day, and she mentioned that my ex-wife "thinks the world of me". lol.

Lastly, if a breakup/divorce is particularly traumatizing, seek counseling immediately. Seek a therapist who is stern and finds faults with what you are doing. Trust. Me. You seriously need that jolt to get your life back on track. I've found that I did not respond to my previous counselor who essentially coddled me.

 

[TwoDucs]

Today marks six weeks of NC. Things were really getting better, but this past week I've found myself thinking of and missing her a lot. I don't know why. I went on vacation and had a great time-drinking, dancing, talking to every woman I could, even went home with a damn cute bartender, but I just couldn't get m ex out of my head. Today is somewhat better, but I thought it would be a lot easier by now.

 

[Callah]

Today marks six weeks of NC. Things were really getting better, but this past week I've found myself thinking of and missing her a lot. I don't know why. I went on vacation and had a great time-drinking, dancing, talking to every woman I could, even went home with a damn cute bartender, but I just couldn't get m ex out of my head. Today is somewhat better, but I thought it would be a lot easier by now.

i get you. i feel the same. even if we know its over and we are making the effort to forget them and do things to move on. i think it really is just time. we are meant to forget them slowly, just like we had to get to know them at a certain pace aswell. it really is tough but manageable also i guess.

i think its 2 weeks plus for me.

 

[IExist]

Just leave me alone!

So a guy that I was dating didn't tell me from the start that he had a girlfriend. Seven months later I am strong enough to pull away. He wants to be friends and I am not interested. I have just to return his printer and tell him again to not call me. He calls and says hi like nothing happened, like I didn't say it is too soon to talk and take care and to feel free to contact me when he decides to stop being a player. He only wants to be friends cuz he is hoping for the benefits one day. I say NO WAY. The posts on here have really helped me and my Day ONE starts on the 22nd when I return his stuff and I already have a date. I say amen to freedom and finding a good man lol. :rockon:

 

[Boscus]

Day 59!

What a big eventful day!

Day 59 marks the very last day of the challenge!

I couldn't condone this challenge any more! it was very insightful...

It's weird what 60 days of No contact does to you.

Will post tomorrow to mark the official completion of the challenge.

Then, I may or may not post on day 120, but tbh, I doubt I'll be counting the days, I am 100% over her. I am a new man.

 

[nocontact160]

What a big eventful day!

Day 59 marks the very last day of the challenge!

I couldn't condone this challenge any more! it was very insightful...

It's weird what 60 days of No contact does to you.

Will post tomorrow to mark the official completion of the challenge.

Then, I may or may not post on day 120, but tbh, I doubt I'll be counting the days, I am 100% over her. I am a new man.

Congratulations, you made it. This is so encouraging for all the other people here. Keep it up!

2 weeks NC for me today.
I feel relieved, I think I'm starting to accept everything as it is, I learned so much from this breakup: I feel like a new person. I'm still hurt, but it's fading away little by little.

 

[Boscus]

Congratulations, you made it. This is so encouraging for all the other people here. Keep it up!

2 weeks NC for me today.
I feel relieved, I think I'm starting to accept everything as it is, I learned so much from this breakup: I feel like a new person. I'm still hurt, but it's fading away little by little.

Thanks. Hang in there ! it gets better, trust me...

A few times during the challenge I felt like ringing her up, texting her you name it, I wanted to make things right,
I had to fight that urge, I really did. But I feel like a better man for going 60 days. I feel...free...

 

[Boscus]

Day 60!

 

[Callah]

Day 60!

so it really works? haha. you are indiffirent. share your story sir! haha.

 

[Neon Owl]

Tomorrow will be day 40 of NC for me. It also happens to be my birthday and I'm hoping in the back of my mind that she will remember and send me a 'happy birthday' txt but I know she's way too self-absorbed for it to even enter her head. She'll be too busy seeing another guy by now or getting smashed with her mates.
I still think about her many, many times each day but it is getting better. The feeling has gone from a seering red hot pain that made me want to scream initially to a dull ache that is just mostly annoying now. Kind of like when you burn yourself, at first it's intense and you want to cry but over time it settles down to a level you can cope with and doesn't command your attention so much.

Keep going guys, things get better week by week trust me. If you haven't already, delete her number and unfriend her from your facebook or better yet delete your account to rid yourself of the temptation to contact her.

 

[RedScorpion]

Well guys, I think I've been poisoning my own recovery. Even though I've been NC with her for 70 plus days, I keep getting tid bits from my mother on what she's doing, arguments etc. (same class) Usually it goes she mentions something about her, I say I don't want to hear about her, but might as well hear what's going on anyway. It's only now, after a few days of no info, I am feeling somewhat normal about it (again).

Now it doesn't matter how well she is or isn't doing. Guess she's getting in lots of arguments (jumping in) and going to see friends and going to bbqs (despite being too busy to see me). And she looks a bit saddened whenever my mom mentions me. Spends most her time studying. But it doesn't matter. See, I don't need info about her or what she's doing or not doing without me. It doesn't matter if she's having a blast or having a horrible time. The only part I can think of is 'She can go through whatever she's doing, and still not want to reconcile'. Worst is, it starts a fresh cycle of debate/regret. It zooms me back right to the start.

So, learn from my mistakes. The pain can be stirred up from outside sources. You don't want to know anything about them.

 

[Boscus]

so it really works? haha. you are indiffirent. share your story sir! haha.

Yes it works, HOWEVER, you must follow the steps outlined in this thread.

The last email I sent her, was telling her to never contact me again ( childish but I needed to heal) , then I got a new number, blocked her on email, blocked all social media ( easy as I don't use social media anymore. )

I can never hear what she is doing, and I don't see her around as I live far away as I travel a lot.

But the most important thing is, no contact=no contact.

Another tip I would suggest is, whenever you get tempted to reach out to her, come to this thread, and the guys here will set you straight, they're awesome that way

Also, re-read the first page of this thread whenever you feel that urge to contact her, or you feel down, and to make sure you KNOW, no contact=no contact.

Do I ever think about her anymore? no, not really, at least not in the way I did 2 months ago. She doesn't consume my energy or time anymore.

P.S Only now can I see that we did have an awesome time together, but I appreciate that, and I understand it completely. But, I see it for what it is, the past.

I wish you all fairwell gentlemen, I want to exit this thread. All in all, no contact= solid advice.

Peace

 

[Callah]

hey guys. today is my birthday.
i have no idea how many days it has been honestly. im guessing 3 weeks?
day to day i have been good, there are times where i just really miss her, i know we wouldnt have worked out but i just do. sometimes i think it just has something to do with the rejection aspect of it all.
apart from that i blocked her from everything and i know it is the right decision.
im been active, meeting old friends creating bonds with new ones, trying to stay as fit as i can. ive even been talking to this girl through text alot. and im planning when iam over this perhaps i will try and make a concrete move, abit weird cause she is a common friend (sort of) with my ex but who cares, i know its just me caring too much about the breakup if i dont pursue something with a girl i could like.
aside from that i think iam ok, i avoid places i know wont be good for me and sometimes i doubt my decisions but i know they are right.
mornings are rough but the days get better than in the morning same thing all over again.

this is normal and iam in the right path?
part of me hoped she would greet me and i would just not reply. but i know it isnt gonna happen. and thats fine with me. its a challenge and iam proud of myself to be aware of everything and how i feel and know that its nothing to be sad about it. its life. and over time it will be nothing but a memory!

 

[nocontact160]

hey guys. today is my birthday.
i have no idea how many days it has been honestly. im guessing 3 weeks?
day to day i have been good, there are times where i just really miss her, i know we wouldnt have worked out but i just do. sometimes i think it just has something to do with the rejection aspect of it all.
apart from that i blocked her from everything and i know it is the right decision.
im been active, meeting old friends creating bonds with new ones, trying to stay as fit as i can. ive even been talking to this girl through text alot. and im planning when iam over this perhaps i will try and make a concrete move, abit weird cause she is a common friend (sort of) with my ex but who cares, i know its just me caring too much about the breakup if i dont pursue something with a girl i could like.
aside from that i think iam ok, i avoid places i know wont be good for me and sometimes i doubt my decisions but i know they are right.
mornings are rough but the days get better than in the morning same thing all over again.

this is normal and iam in the right path?
part of me hoped she would greet me and i would just not reply. but i know it isnt gonna happen. and thats fine with me. its a challenge and iam proud of myself to be aware of everything and how i feel and know that its nothing to be sad about it. its life. and over time it will be nothing but a memory!

Happy birthday Callah
You're on the right path to get over her. Keep your strength up. Glad to know you're okay... That's a big step. I remember a few weeks ago I was so lost, I thought I would only be okay with my ex. I feel really great now, and it has only been two weeks of NC. I even think he might be seeing another girl, but that's okay with me. I've never felt stronger, I've proven to myself that I can feel good even when I thought everything had been ripped away from me. just keep loving life!

If you're in for a rebound relationship with a girl you genuinely like, then go for it. Don't jump in just because you want to make your ex jealous (subconsciously), jump in because you like the girl. You just have to make sure she knows about your past relationship, and tell her before anything if you don't want to get into something really serious for the moment. I'm sure your last relationship taught you a lot about mistakes and other things you should be aware of, it only makes you stronger and head towards the right direction.