The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Swampcamel]

Her roommate was over last night and told me that her birthday's today. I changed the topic, not suppose to dwell. Now it's her birthday, she's out of town without any of her friends I guess, moving out cause things have gone to **** with her roomies and her friends, and it's like I'm feeling this long, invisible, transdimensional hand of guilt reaching across the states to impress on me that I of all people should be available to wish her happy birthday, for duty, for obligation. **** that ****, mang.

Happy birthday. Not my problem.

 

[TeamBp]

Her roommate was over last night and told me that her birthday's today. I changed the topic, not suppose to dwell. Now it's her birthday, she's out of town without any of her friends I guess, moving out cause things have gone to **** with her roomies and her friends, and it's like I'm feeling this long, invisible, transdimensional hand of guilt reaching across the states to impress on me that I of all people should be available to wish her happy birthday, for duty, for obligation. **** that ****, mang.

Happy birthday. Not my problem.

Her Birthdayis tomorrow too. Do we give them the ultimate shock by not saying happy birthday? 2 years is a long time can we get some advice?

 

[Hiker]

Day 38

Life is better, though at times, I reminisce.

A lot of me has moved past her and I've been focusing more on my future. I'm considering a move to the Phillipines next winter. Heard Phillipino women love Americans but that's not why I would be there.

Anyway,
To the other guys: If you're having trouble staying NC try to go at least 20 days. I found that things got much better this far in.

Stay Strong.

 

[TeamBp]

Day 38

Life is better, though at times, I reminisce.

A lot of me has moved past her and I've been focusing more on my future. I'm considering a move to the Phillipines next winter. Heard Phillipino women love Americans but that's not why I would be there.

Anyway,
To the other guys: If you're having trouble staying NC try to go at least 20 days. I found that things got much better this far in.

Stay Strong.

Has she tried to contact you?

 

[L_T_D313]

Her Birthdayis tomorrow too. Do we give them the ultimate shock by not saying happy birthday? 2 years is a long time can we get some advice?

DO NOT SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It won't do any good, just keep going with NC.

 

[Hiker]

Yes, but I ignore the calls and delete the voicemails and texts (without hearing or seeing them).

At first it was hard, so I had a friend listen to/read the messages. I instructed him to delete them unless they were important (death related, suicide, etc).

 

[Myself23]

I'm going to put nc into effect but I have two questions, what do I do if my closest friend is her closest friend to and I see her a lot during school. Our lookers are right by each-others.

 

[L_T_D313]

I'm going to put nc into effect but I have two questions, what do I do if my closest friend is her closest friend to and I see her a lot during school. Our lookers are right by each-others.

Ignore the broad period. If she speaks be indifferent.

 

[EpiphoneGT]

new member here

Hey, I got dumped by my ex last late January and put NC into effect ever since the breakup, however I have her in two of my classes at my University and I find it harder to move on cause I always see her, any advice?

 

[TeamBp]

Day 7:

Had to stop by the old apartment to pick up my mail. I want to text her because I know she's keeping my mail somewhere. Dammit

 

[cmr226]

What's up everyone...starting NC day 1 today. My long story short:

I had been dating this girl for almost a year now that is my perfect girl from a looks standpoint, but she had various characteristics that I didn't want in someone to marry. This girl was madly in love with me and would do anything for me. Midway through the relationship I moved a couple thousand miles away for work and we tried the long distance thing. I've known for the past few months this wasn't going to work long term because I knew I didn't want to marry her, but kept her around for sex when I visited back home and when she visited back here. I've been dating multiple other girls the entire time I've been out here, although no one that has really interested me much, and she was not aware of it. I was not good to her as I would go out with other girls all the time, go days without calling her, wouldn't return her calls, etc. I was living life while she was at home depressed over the way I was treating her.

Fast forward to about a month ago, we got into an argument and I told her to move on and never talk to me again. We didn't talk for a couple weeks and then last week I texted her because I'm visiting back home and wanted to see her. From there I basically found out that she is dating other people and she wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm completely depressed over it thinking I completely messed up. Today I've basically been begging her to move out here with me (she always wanted to before but I wouldn't let her) but she isn't budging and wants me to leave her alone.

I don't get it...how could I be so sick of someone and I KNEW I didn't want to be with them just a month ago, now I'm depressed because I don't have her??

I don't really have much of a problem getting girls either, and all the girls I've been hanging out with out here I've completely stopped talking to because of this.

No contact day 1 starts now...let's hope I can do this.

 

[L_T_D313]

Hey, I got dumped by my ex last late January and put NC into effect ever since the breakup, however I have her in two of my classes at my University and I find it harder to move on cause I always see her, any advice?

It was like that with me and my ex years ago in hs. You have to stay strong and act as though she's just an ordinary person. Which she is because she's not with you anymore. It's hard bro.

 

[Myself23]

I feel like I failed. I couldn't go 24 hours without talking to her. And when I did talk to her I broke down. Anybody see how I can fix this?

 

[L_T_D313]

I feel like I failed. I couldn't go 24 hours without talking to her. And when I did talk to her I broke down. Anybody see how I can fix this?

By realizing your mistake and learning. You broke NC and it led to something other than what you desired. So now implant this feeling into your mind. Know that every time you break it you will more than likely be hurt. Let her come to you then decide your next course of action. If you choose to speak to her be indifferent.

 

[fuko2007]

I feel like I failed. I couldn't go 24 hours without talking to her. And when I did talk to her I broke down. Anybody see how I can fix this?

L T D has a very good point. NEVER contact her. If you do more than likely you will get hurt. Even if SHE contacts you keep it short sweet and simple. If your like me im hard headed and have to figure things out the hard way. Evryone on this site told me not to break NC under any circumstance. well i did and im back to seeing the girl i was with. Im starting to slowly see what they were talking about. Things havnt changed with her i got sucked right back in but this time i know what im getting into and how to handle it only through experience and good advice from these guys. But back to you.
If you feel like you have to talk to her wait untill she contacts you and close that door and move on. The more you try to talk to her the more you are helping her and giving her control. So i say againg go NC let her contact you and close that door. Meantime go out find some plates spin them and be a fvcking DJ. Women are not worth sitting around crying over. Im not going to say dont get up set bc i did but they are not sitting at home crying. They dont loose any sleep and they go to a 5 star joint and have a steak dinner when **** like this happens in their life bc its what they want.
So go get yourself some beer, steak, and a few friends grill out then hit the town up and get laid. you will feel much better and see how much of a good time you can have with out the evil woman. Thats what friends are for bro. But good luck keep posting and hold your head up.

 

[cmr226]

Today starts day 2 of no contact for me. Yesterday was officially day 1 but we talked earlier in the day via text. Yesterday I spilled my guts to her telling her I love her and want to marry her, etc. and she basically told me that I screwed up and she had moved on and was pretty rude about it.

She texted me early this morning saying that she was sorry for being mean because she had been drinking, and then said we should talk another time about everything.

Should I respond and talk? or should I respond and say no need to talk? Or just keep no contact?

 

[Felix]

Nc

My girlfriend ended our relationship of 4 years just before christmas, we stayed in contact and agreed to fwb in the new year.. we have been in contact since and still sleeping with each, actually getting on better!

But she told me a week ago she is on dating sites and has met several other men and giving me a run down on them! .. Like i really wanted to hear that!

I pushed several times whilst we were fwb, saying to her 'why not give us another go?' and 'I can't understand why we can't be together etc' ... she just kept repling 'Yeah you are a great bed buddy, but i can't see a future!' ..


A couple of weekends ago, we hooked up, she stayed the night and we had fun and slept together... i then texted her on the Tuesday after and went to the gym together.. all seemed fine, there were lots of flirting with each other etc... then a few days pasted and she texted me asking how i felt after the gym, did i have a good workout etc ... by this point i couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said about going on dates with other men and how easy she'd just told me! ... So I just replied with a short sharp text 'Yeah, i'm all good thanks' ... and i haven't heard from her since ..

I haven't told her about NC... I'm only 5 days into NC and she probably doesn't even realize that i'm doing NC with her!

I am due to go to the gym tonight, she'll be there, as usual ... but I won't turn up...

Maybe i should of just replied to her last text message explaining what i'm doing? I know she'll probably contact me in a few days, what should I do then?! .... I dunno what do you guys think?

 

[cmr226]

Day 3 of NC begins today. I'm slowly getting better but I'm still totally amazed at the 180 she's done. Three weeks ago from today everything was 100% fine, and she's met a couple guys since then and now says she no longer has feelings for me. All from a girl who was madly in love with me for almost a year.

The big test will be tomorrow. I fly back to my hometown where she lives, and she knows I'll be there. I give it a 25% chance she contacts me first, and a 0% chance I contact her first. If she doesn't contact me that will be very telling.

 

[Felix]

Let me put it this way: She is having her cake and eating it too. She gets sex, validation and an ego boost from you, while she searches for the "man of her dreams" Probably some free meals etc too. Why are you allowing this? Do you like to be treated this way? I would NOT tell her about NC - what advanatge is there to telling her? by saying "I just need to go NC with you to get over you" it sounds weak. Just do it. Personally, I wouldn't give up the gym. So, you won't have a true NC....but NOW you are changing your life and schedule to work around hers.


I would just continue my life as normal, never initiating contact, rarely replying. And short, terse replies like you gave before. At the gym, I would be polite, but brief. If she says hi, reply Hi. But you DON'T have time to stand around chatting, etc. You are there to do your thing - do it. Treat her as an aquaintance. No more hanging around together, spending time together, long conversations. Just politely decline all invitations, saying you have plans. If she asks about the plans, just say with friends. It is no longer her business.

YOU ARE BEING USED FOR SEX, MEALS, VALIDATION AND AN EGO BOOST, WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR HER, WHILE SHE LOOKS FOR ANOTHER MAN. GET IT?


She is no longer your girlfriend, stop treating her that way.

Thanks for your reply ... **** her, I have no need to contact her at all, you are right!

 

[cmr226]

Having a hard time today guys. Still on NC day 3....flying back to my hometown where she lives tomorrow and all I can think about is her. Every time I've flown back since I've moved 7 or 8 months ago, we spent all our time together.

She knows I'll be home and I keep wondering if I should contact her to see if we can get together or not. The last thing either of us said to each other before my NC was her texting me she was sorry for being mean earlier that day because she had been drinking, and that we should talk about it later. I never responded and she hasn't followed up.

This girl was as devoted to me as any girl ever had been up until about 3 weeks ago when I told her to move on and stop talking to me (crazy how the tables turned). Now I know she's been hanging out with (at least) 2 other guys since then. On the last day before my NC she said she likes other people and has no feelings for me anymore (after being broke up for only 3 weeks?!). She was also texting me various things to obviously try and make me jealous that day. I'm guessing this is a sign that she still DOES have feelings deep down, correct?

My options:
a) text/call her asking to see her tomorrow
b) no contact

I'm guessing the answer from you guys is B haha.

My gut says there is a 25% chance something good would come from me texting and trying to see her tomorrow, 75% chance it doesn't go well.

I also say there is about a 15% chance of her contacting me first, but we will see. I think I treated her so badly that I really hurt her, so now these two new guys come along that she has fun with, and now I'm out of sight out of mind.