The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[EastWind]

Day 3

Still at my dad's because I got sick yesterday, even gave back the stomach medicine. Mind constantly going over arguments and situations trying to find out "mistakes" I made. Rational part of my brain telling me all those tiny stupid mistakes don't matter in a solid relationship.

I'm also having a hard time letting go of her in my mind - she threatened that if I didn't want to be friends, she'd stop worrying and thinking about me and give her attention to people who'd give her back some. I think I said something to the effect of "you gotta do what you gotta do". It's hard because of course I want her to constantly think and worry about me. Something tells me the best would have been to tell her to do that, it probably would've driven her nuts.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Hey so this is my first post but any way.. So my first real gf of 4 nd half months ljbf me on the 9th jan, she told me via text "i was more open with her as friends and she wants to go back to just being friends" so the emotional guy that i am ,when it comes to things like this, i decided to deactivate my FB and cut up my sim card so theres pretty much zero contact, i have no plans of reactivating my fb i got a new number. I feel more in control now. I dont really have any body to talk to about this so i decided to sighn up here no sosuave. So do you guys think it was the right thing on my part to cut all contact??..i know the lenght i went to was a bit much but i was realy angry and sad so yeah.

 

[Ken785]

No contact started 1/09/11 9:30pm.

 

[f283000]

I was a fantastic,caring, funny,loyal, helpful, supportive boyfriend who did everything i possibly do and she turned her back on me. She will never meet another guy like me. Her loss, my gain i have no regrets.

Next girlfriend you have try not to be so caring, loyal, helpful, supportive

It's a hard lesson to learn. Modern women don't want a prince that will love them with all their heart. They want a guy with an edge that they feel could drop them at any minute for another woman. Modern women want a man that will keep them on their toes, NOT A "PERFECT" boyfriend such as yourself.

 

[HBK]

Next girlfriend you have try not to be so caring, loyal, helpful, supportive

It's a hard lesson to learn. Modern women don't want a prince that will love them with all their heart. They want a guy with an edge that they feel could drop them at any minute for another woman. Modern women want a man that will keep them on their toes, NOT A "PERFECT" boyfriend such as yourself.

Thanks Man, your probably bang on there. Well im certainly not perfect, and i do have my faults. But i suppose when dealing with a GF with baggage, i could only do my best.

Day 5
Keeping myself busy the last few days, getting stuff for the new house and settling in with the lads. Im a lot calmer now, and if i do need to talk to somebody, mostly late at night i ring one my friends for a chat. Im sleeping better. Part of me does wonder what the hell was going on in her head, and will she contact and what will she say and will i respond. But then i just say "hey, shes gone who cares whats shes doing (or who) or how shes feeling". At the end its a bitter pill we all must swallow in life in order to grow, move on and learn from the experience. Sure im sad,angry, frustrated and i do still love her. But planning ahead e.g next few weekends, and keeping myself busy does help. I have had no urge to contact her. No contact from her either.

 

[f283000]

Thanks Man, your probably bang on there. Well im certainly not perfect, and i do have my faults.

From what you wrote it looks like you tried your best to be a perfect boyfriend. Not saying that you were but you tried your best to do everything for her. This of course is what we grow up thinking and taught (that a woman wants a prince who will give all himself to her).

Now this girl will probably run along some unsupportive a**hole who will treat her like crap if she hasn't already. That's modern women.

 

[piday314]

Great thread. Wish I had this for my last breakup. The first 20 days will be THE HARDEST. Definitely dig in.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I accept the no contact challenge.. No contact has started on 09 january 2011

 

[HBK]

DAY 10

No contact still in operation, havent heard from her either.

Trying to keep busy, went out on sat night with the lads. Had a few tasty pints of guiness, well depressed yesterday. I blame the drink Sometimes i fell sad and lonely, but find chatting with my mates and getting out helps.

 

[EastWind]

Day 10.

It's been a rough week. It took me some self-restraint not to contact her. That and my dad reminding me quite often that I don't need such a person in my life.

I've gone back to Uni, met my friends, started my thesis. It's all.. going on. Life. Things. Trying to keep busy and take things one at a time.

Today (17th) would have been our one year anniversary. Some part of me wanted to go see her, but I managed. Some part thought she'd drop by. Maybe she did, but I was hanging out with my friends, and anyway, what are the odds. I figure that if her feelings really really tell her to, she'll come. Until then it's not worth it anyway. And if she does, I'll have to gather all my wits and strength and say no.

 

[bombtrack2007]

Is this challenge an attempt to get the girl back or just to get over her? What if the constant ignoring of her drives her further away from you and even ruins the chances of you getting back together? What if it gives her a reason to not be with you?

 

[Joshski]

Is this challenge an attempt to get the girl back or just to get over her? What if the constant ignoring of her drives her further away from you and even ruins the chances of you getting back together? What if it gives her a reason to not be with you?

It can be used for both.

If you ignore her and it drives her further away, then she has no interest in you.

 

[Yachtie]

@bombtrack - i've thought about this too and think there is a chance of this being possible. I'm curious to hear more and please post back if you find any other thoughts. A field report will probably be the only reliable source though.

 

[prince of darkness]

I got dumped for her ex!!! NC for 2 weeks now guys I miss her like crazy I am in pain keep me strong plz I don't wanna talk to her any more I've been lied to and used so bad no more BS I miss her I really do love her so much but I have to get over her I am in painnnnnn!!!

 

[SamTheHobit]

I got dumped for her ex!!! NC for 2 weeks now guys I miss her like crazy I am in pain keep me strong plz I don't wanna talk to her any more I've been lied to and used so bad no more BS I miss her I really do love her so much but I have to get over her I am in painnnnnn!!!

gym that pain away!!

 

[prince of darkness]

Man I don't have any power to go to the gym or practice or study or work can't sleep or eat I see her every where I feel so weak!!!

 

[Alien]

Man I don't have any power to go to the gym or practice or study or work can't sleep or eat I see her every where I feel so weak!!!

The weak ones fall.

 

[Myrrdin]

Man I don't have any power to go to the gym or practice or study or work can't sleep or eat I see her every where I feel so weak!!!

It's gonna be like that for a couple of weeks and then it's gonna get better. Just hang in there and try to exercise. Very important. Gym, run, whatever. Just exercise.

 

[EastWind]

Man I don't have any power to go to the gym or practice or study or work can't sleep or eat I see her every where I feel so weak!!!

Maybe your head isn't cool enough to take this in right now, but my mom always said "How do you eat an elephant? Bite by bite."

Don't look at the huge complete goal. Look at the next step that you can take. Going to the gym is huge. Start small: do three sets of pushups and situps three times a week, after waking up. Takes you all of 10 minutes. It will give you satisfaction and, in about a month, results.

 

[bankshot56]

Man I don't have any power to go to the gym or practice or study or work can't sleep or eat I see her every where I feel so weak!!!

Alright man, take as long as you want to mourn the loss of your relationship. We all been there.

But at some point, you're gonna need to man the **** up, and not be a *****.

It's ok to be weak for a while, but the self pity BS has to end at some point.